I love questions that really make you wonder. Questions like, Is there an exception to the rule “there’s an exception to every rule”? Or one of my personal favorites, Why are there 5 syllables in the word “monosyllabic”?

The fact is, you don’t have to go searching for ‘em; they sometimes show up right at your feet. In fact, it happened just the other evening when a neighbor from down the street dropped by to chat with Mrs. MZM for a few minutes. She happened to bring her cute little son along with her, and as is typical whenever multiple adults and only one child get together, the tiniest member of the group became the center of attention. (How do they do that, anyway?)

C’mon, Push the Button

Just so you know, our house isn’t exactly child-proof, mind you, nor is it filled with fun stuff for babies to play with, either. However, unlike us adults, children have an innate ability to uncover the entertainment value in practically anything (up to and including dirt).

We usually keep an electric heating pad lying on the floor next to the couch. (What can I say? Sometimes it just, er, helps. If you know what I mean – great. If not – one day you will. Just sayin’.) Now, you and I both know this isn’t an appropriate plaything for a baby. So of course the little critter made a beeline right for it.

He grabbed the control pad and quickly discovered that pushing its buttons caused the little light to change colors in the following sequence: push #1 = yellow, push #2 = orange, push #3 = red, push #4 = off. (Please be assured – and you’ll have to trust me on this – all three of us were watching him closely and there was absolutely no danger involved.)

This impromptu “toy” seemed to keep him happy, but it was the “off” setting that threw him for a loop. Although the pretty glowing light fascinated him, every time it turned off his imagined solution was to simply push that button all the harder. In fact, I could see his hands and arms literally shaking with the effort to make that light go on, as if he could make it work by sheer strength. Eventually, of course, he’d let go – then push it again and voila! the whole sequence began all over again.

Now, when you think about it, wasn’t it silly of him to imagine that if a certain action (pushing a button) failed to produce an expected result (the light changed color), that doing that same action with even more effort (c’mon, push harder!) would magically make it work?

On the other hand… don’t we adults do the same thing? No, you say? Have you ever flipped a light switch, only to find the light didn’t work – then (and be honest here) flipped it at least a couple more times, just to be sure? Yep; thought so.

Well then why do you press harder on a TV remote control when you know the battery is dead? (Yes, you!) I mean, you know it’s dead, right? Then, um, why – ?

Yeah, sometimes we adults aren’t quite so smart as all that, are we?

Questions, Questions

Ah, questions, questions, questions! The fact is, life if chock full of imponderable questions, isn’t it? So, just to celebrate that fact, here’s a whole herd o’ questions for which I have never found a meaningful answer:

• Why do ballet dancers dance on their toes? Why doesn’t the company just hire taller dancers?
• Why do toasters always have a setting that burns the toast to a horrible black cinder which no decent human being (nor most self-respecting animals, either) would ever eat?
• Speaking of bread – since all sandwich bread is square, why do they make round sandwich meats?
• What should you do if you see an endangered animal eating an endangered plant?
• If laughter is the best medicine, what does it mean when someone dies laughing?
• If milk goes bad when not refrigerated, why doesn’t it go bad in the cow?
• If a train station is where a train stops, what happens at a work station?
• Does a lightning rod on top of a church demonstrate a lack of faith?
• Do sheep get static cling when they rub against one another? And why don’t they shrink when it rains?
• If most car accidents occur within five miles of home, why doesn’t everyone just move 10 miles away?

Needless to say, there are plenty more where these came from! However, I’ll leave you with this one final question:

• If vegetarians eat vegetables, what do humanitarians eat?

By the way, if you happen to know the answer to any of these questions, then by all means feel free to chime in with it down there in the comment box. What the heck, if you feel particularly inspired, go ahead and make an answer up! I might even award extra points for the most creative answers.

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Tags: answer, button, child, imponderable, push, question, wonder

Morning Dew

Night fog lifted

Gentle morning dew

Dawn-kissed jewels

Sleeps lightly on summer grass

Refreshed and renewed

Awaiting a child’s playful tread

As I stepped out the other morning to head for work, I happened to take a few moments to admire the fresh coating of morning’s dew on our lawn. The way the myriad droplets were just beginning to catch the first rays of the rising sun was just… inspirational!

Few things inspire me to write poetry; I freely admit to being not too much of a poet. I dunno; bein’ an engineer and all, maybe I’m just too literal to be very good at it. But still… when I see something like this, it just makes me want to try. Hope you liked it.

[Note from the proprietor on the poem: Liked it? Hated it? Couldn’t care less? Hey, I’m not too old a dog to learn a few new tricks. If you have any critiques, comments, or suggestions – bring ‘em on!]

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Tags: dew, early, grass, inspiration, morning, night, wet

A Bad Sign

I’m just askin’, mind you, but would you consider it a bad sign if a large carrion bird sat outside your window and stared at you as if… well, as if you were their next meal?

That’s pretty much exactly what I thought the other day when I visited a coworker’s office and was greeted by this somewhat disquieting scene right outside his office window.

Me bein’ me and all, naturally a whole host of great one-liners instantly came to mind:

“I dunno; if I were you I’d check the organization chart for your name.”

“Have you, er, noticed a dramatic drop in your emails, lately?”

… not to mention,

“I see HR is using a new approach for sending out layoff notices.”

Of course, I could always do the time-honored “pull out a tape measure and start checking if all my stuff will fit in his office routine”… but that’s been done to death, don’cha think? (Get it? Carrion birds? Death? Bwa-ha-ha-ha-ha! Er, sorry.)

Aw, don’t worry; I’m just kidding. I don’t really think he’s got anything to worry about. After all, with today’s economy in the shape it’s in, there’s no reason for anything but optimism, right?

Expect the Unexpected

What was really funny about the whole thing was when I moved closer to capture a good close-up. (Yes, he could see me easily, right through the heavy silvering on the outside of the glass.) As I eased my phone closer for a portrait, he reached out and started tap-tap-tapping on the glass. Good thing it was there or I’d be lunch meat!

Anyway, I just thought this was a rather, um, graphic reminder for all of us: when you’re in the midst of your plans, schemes, etc. – don’t forget to expect the unexpected. I mean, you never know, y’know? Just sayin’.

So… anything unexpected happen to YOU lately?

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Tags: expectations, signs, unexpected

“It was the best of times, it was the worst of times…”

- opening line of “A Tale of Two Cities”, by Charles Dickens

Well, it ain’t exactly Dickens, but please allow me to share with you the following tale of two corridors…

Corridor #1

I was moseying down (that’s “walking”, for y’all non-Texans in the audience) a fairly long hallway at my workplace the other day (see the photo on the right) when I noticed an interesting phenomenuh an interesting phenominom something unusual.

As I gradually approached the double doors at the end of the corridor (it’s that small black square waaay down there), it almost seemed as though, instead of getting closer, the hallway was growing longer. An optical illusion, to be sure, but still a bit disconcerting. Only as I finally neared the end did everything sorta go back to normal again. (Of course, “normal” in my world is a relative term – but that’s an entirely different skillet o’ catfish.)

Needless to say, it was an odd little bit of perspective shift – almost claustrophobic, if you know what I mean. Strange.

Corridor #2

Another day, another corridor, this one on the way to the company cafeteria…

Not surprisingly, there was a distinctly different feel to this one. Unlike that other weird, Twilight-Zone-esque corridor, this one engendered no odd sense of eternity stretching out before me. This time it was just a pleasant walk. (Of course, the prospect of, y’know, food at the end may have had something to do with it. Just sayin’.)

So what was the difference?

Well, obviously one big difference is the fact that the second corridor is lined with windows, right? Not only does the outside view make the corridor “feel” bigger, but the scenery is a lot more interesting.

Also, I think the vertical window frames serve as a sortof, well, let’s call it a “progress meter” (at least to the subconscious mind, anyway), silently ticking the moments by as I made my way down its length (the two corridors are pretty much the same length. Unlike the first corridor, which seems like a gray, almost unbroken tunnel, this one is light and cheery with, as I mentioned before, something delicious at the end of it.

So What?

By now you’re probably wonderin’ to yourselves just what the heck this all has to do with the price of a side o’ beef in, say, Timbuktu. Well, I guess the best answer is, “Not much.” On the other hand, though, thinkin’ of these two corridors did make me reflect a bit on life, the universe, and… well, you get the picture, right?

If your life is anything like mine, you’ve surely experienced a period of waiting at some time or another. Yep; thought so. Sometimes it feels almost like life is a nothing but a never-ending series of momentary events, preceded by periods of restless waiting, doesn’t it?

Take job-hunting, for instance (please!) I’ve done my share of it, and every time it’s the same thing: work like mad to generate job leads, send a stream of resumes out to even the remotest of possibilities, and no matter what, leave no stone unturned in that quest for employment.

The biggest problem with this sort of thing is, it’s really hard to tell if you’re getting anywhere! Kinda like moseyin’ down that first corridor, y’know? Trust me, I know; most folks have been there too. You’re walkin’, walkin’, and still walkin’ – but you can’t tell if you’re makin’ any headway. In fact, it may even seem like you’re losing ground.

Conversely, other times the job hunt has progressed relatively steadily. From initial contact to the resume submittal, then on to that first interview, negotiation and then – employment! (sound of crowd cheering) Yeah, I’ve had that one happen, too, and when it does it’s more like that second corridor, the one with the windows, the view, and the reward at the end.

Strange how life seems to imitate art corridors, isn’t it? But still, I find it’s not the waiting that gets me down. It’s the fact that I can’t see if things are progressing. (And it’s not just that they’re not progressing as I want them too; it’s that they don’t seem to be progressing at all.)

Sad to say, most waiting periods are like that. You get no sense of what’s happening outside of your own personal world – of the things going on behind the scenes. Whereas, if you can actually see things progressing, get some feedback from the outside world – well, it makes the passing of time and the waiting a whole lot easier, don’t you think?

What to Do?

Anyhoo – I brought all this up to offer an encouraging word or two, should you happen to actually be in a waiting period right now (uh, is anyone not?)

First of all, suffice it to say I know exactly how you feel, and it ain’t no fun, I can tell ya. The good news is, there are some things you can do to help alleviate that stretched-out eternity feeling.

Don’t shut your spouse out. OK, obviously, if you’re not married then this one won’t apply to you. But if you are, then you have a built-in support mechanism from someone who once said they’d be there for you through thick and thin. It never ceases to amaze me how many folks (sadly, we men are especially guilty of this one) would rather try and “work things out” for ourselves. It stems from a feeling that by admitting we’re troubled we’ll appear weak or something. Hey, I’ve been there; I know. All I can say is, if you’re blessed with a spouse who loves you, then share your life with ‘em – all of it. Trust me when I tell you it can be truly rewarding!

Keep in touch  with your friends. I’ve noticed it over the years, and I bet you have too: having a friend to talk to makes time pass a whole lot faster than if you’re spending it all alone. Especially if you’re spending your time alone thinkin’ oh, woe is me! (Been there!) If you’re in the waiting room, find a friend to spend some time with. If you don’t have a handy friend, go make a new one! Even better, find a friend who’s down in the dumps and, instead of you both sobbing into your root beers, try passing along an encouraging word or two. Nothing dispels self-absorption like lifting the spirits of someone else!

Learn something new. One of the things I promised myself long ago was to never stop learning new stuff. Whether it’s discovering photography, learning to appreciate Masterpiece Theater, or finally getting good at juggling chainsaws (better make sure your Life Insurance is paid up for that one!), it’s always a good thing to expand your brain into new pathways. A bonus: you’ll be surprised how it’ll give you new insights into all those old challenges, too. And there’s nothin’ like stirrin’ up the little gray cells now and then to breathe fresh air into otherwise stagnant thinking.

Keep on walkin’ Bubba! (Or if you’re in Texas, keep on moseyin’.) Put this one in blazing letters a foot high, my friend! The worst thing you can do is… stop. Stop trying, stop learning, stop talking – to stop living. Hey, waiting is one thing – we all end up there sooner or later. But stopping is a whole ‘nuther animal altogether. Keep doin’ what you know to do, and never lose hope. Trust that outside of your perception, outside of that dark, long corridor, things really are happening. Use your imagination and put some windows in that long, dark corridor you’re traveling. (OK, no more metaphors, I promise!) You have to believe that and keep goin’ with all your heart because, in fact, it’s true! One thing we can all agree on is that life is all about change, and change happens all the time, all around us. Just because you can’t see it happening…

This Too Shall Pass

Just remember, Bubba; these things haven’t come to stay in your life. Nope, they’ve come to pass. And in passing, we grow.

Are you in life’s waiting room at the moment? Then join the crowd! Trust me; you’re not the Lone Stranger in here – not by a long shot! In fact, at the moment, I’m right there with ya! (Why not come on over and we’ll visit a spell? Just look for the hat.)

Care to tell us about it? What other techniques have you learned over the years that have helped you – and maybe can help the rest of us as we wait? Take a moment, why don’t you, and share ‘em with us down there in the comment box. Hey, we’ll surely thank you!

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Tags: corridor, linkedin, tale, two, wait, waiting

Allow me to ask you a personal question. (sound of audience stampeding from the room)

Gee, that went well, don’cha think? Anyhoo – here’s the question:

Have you ever had a moment when you suddenly doubted your senses? You know what I mean, right? A time when you saw something that made your brain put the brakes on full and come to a screeching halt?

Yep; thought so. Here’s one that happened to me the other day.

Lunch Break

Mrs. MZM and I visited a cute little place called Drew’s Pastry Place for lunch not too long ago. (Despite the name, they make some really great – and really reasonably priced – lunches.) We like to support small, local businesses whenever we can (hence the link), and this is one of our favorites. I’ll tell ya; although Drew makes a mouth-watering selection of wonderful pastries, he also makes this delicious pizza that’s to die for…

Anyway, while waiting for our lunch to make its way to our table, my eyes naturally wandered around, sizing up the surroundings for possible photogenic opportunities. (Alas, that’s what happens when you catch the camera bug. Even Mrs. MZM is getting into the spirit of things, cheerfully pointing out interesting things every now and then.)

Since we were sitting at a table right by the window, I spent some time just observing the scenery outside. That’s when it happened. I glanced up and there, flashing on and off like a big red neon sign floating in the sky, was the word, “OPEN”.

Now since, as far as I know, I have almost never suffered from hallucinations, my brain immediately did a double-take. I thought to myself, “Ungh? Why in the world would there be a ghostly word floating up there in the clear blue sky? And written backwards, no less! What could it mean?

Well, a few scenarios immediately jumped to mind. Could it have been that a clandestine alien secret agent, after having thoroughly investigated the Earth’s paltry defenses, was signaling the nearby invasion force to drop in and take over. Or, maybe it was some giant advertising campaign, intended to let folks know some retailer was now, uh, open for business. (Since the word was written backwards, I tended to discount the possibility it was a message from God.)

I immediately put my lightning-fast and highly-skilled powers of reasoning to bear on the situation. (Meaning: I scratched my head and thought about it for a few seconds.) Now, in order to get to the nub of the gist, the first issue to be dealt with was a rather foundational one: Was I the only one who could see it?

How to Establish Your Sanity (Without Appearing Insane)

The obvious solution was to verify my sanity (such as it is) with Mrs. MZM. Unfortunately, I couldn’t figure out how to do that without sounding completely idiotic, if you get my meanin’.

“Um…” I said, trying not to lead the witness, “you don’t happen to see anything odd up there in the sky, do you?”

“Like what?” she immediately replied, peering upwards out the window.

“Oh, like… er, well…” Alas, there was no way to avoid it, so I took the bull by the horns and continued. “Well, I sorta see this big, red, floating word up there. It says, ‘OPEN… OPEN…OPEN…’”

I had to admit that now I had said it out loud, it did sound pretty weird.

Silence for a few seconds… then, “Oh, I see it too!” Needless to say, a sense of relief flooded through me.

My sanity assured (he said, blithely), the next question was, where on Earth was it coming from? Luckily for my sanity, that one solved itself pretty easily. There was a lighted “OPEN” sign hanging above me, a few feet back from the window. It was clearly visible from the outside, but from our table (right next to the window), it was completely out of our sight.

Mystery solved! (sound of big sigh of relief) Well, at least I knew I wasn’t going crazy! (At least, not due to random hallucinations, anyway.)

Has This Ever Happened To You?

So… just out of curiosity, has something like this ever happened to you? I mean, have you ever seen something that just made you doubt your sanity for a few moments? Hey, don’t be shy – go ahead and share it with us down there in the comment box. I’ll leave the light on.

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[Disclaimer: The Mrs. and I received no compensation for mentioning Drew's Pastry Place. We just like it and want folks to know about it. Drop by if you get a chance; you won't regret it.]

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Tags: restaurant sign open sky doubt senses linkedin

I don’t know if you’ve ever had the opportunity to check out the inside of a piano, but if you can, do yourself a favor: go find one and take a good look. I mean, these things are a marvel! What you’ll find is an amazing intersection of three completely different disciplines: engineering, craftsmanship, and physics.  the embodiment of the blend of form and function.

You know what I like the best about a piano, though? It’s that, when you look inside the (usually) beautifully handcrafted wooden case, it’s all so wonderfully, I don’t know, analog! And in today’s digital world, I find that kindof refreshing, don’t you?

Busy, Busy, Busy

Let’s see… inside, there’s about a zillion moving parts: wood and/or metal levers, little wooden hammers, strips of felt, metal pins, not to mention hundreds of wires ranging from very thin ones to thick, multi-wrapped monsters. I’m tellin’ ya; it’s a veritable Rube Goldberg-esque device, inside there.

One of the first things that always impressed me with your average piano is the internal structure of the wooden case. There are smooth wooden ribs and structural members running every which way in there. In fact, it’s amazing how they manage to get all that stuff in there and still leave room for the mechanical parts, too.

The thing is, a piano really needs that strength. Why? Well, there are 88 keys on the typical piano. And for each key, there are actually three piano wires. That makes a total of (hrm, let’s see now… I’m gonna have to take my shoes and socks off for this calculation…), uh, 264 wires! And all those wires, when properly tuned, produce an awful lot of… tension.

Did you know, in a modern grand piano, the total force created by the tension in those wires can be greater than 10 tons?

That Thing We Love To Hate

Ah; tension – it ranks right up there as one of the things we most love to hate, doesn’t it? Sometimes we call it stress, or strain, or even opposition, but it’s almost always the same thing. It’s that thing that opposes what we want to do.

Funny thing, though. Most of us spend so much time doing our best to avoid stress and tension in our lives (and I must admit to being no exception to that crowd), but we sometimes completely miss the fact that tension is actually a pretty useful thing to have. (sound of incredulity from the audience) No, really!

Let’s use this piano as an example. I mean, when you get right down to it, the very reason for a piano’s existence (and pretty much any stringed instrument, for that matter) is to provide a way to stretch a series of strings out in such a way as to produce music. And to do that, you have to have two anchor point (one fixed and one adjustable), and something to string between them.

Now, to produce the proper musical sound, you have to do what? (Yes, you in the back with your hand raised.) That’s right: stretch the dickens outta that wire! (or string, or gut, or whatever) Yep; ya gotta put the thing under a great deal of tension. And isn’t tension just another way of saying “getting pulled in two different directions”?

Otherwise, instead of, say, Mozart we’d get, I don’t know, maybe something that sounds a lot like a war between rogue gangs of alley cats. Believe me, when you’re sittin’ there in front of thousands of folks in Carnegie Hall, about to play your first virtuoso performance, well, that wouldn’t do at all! (Unless, of course, you were, y’know, going for Theme From: Cat Fight. Hey, I never know what passes for music these days).

Time to Make Music

Now, I think most of us experience the same sort of thing pretty much all the time, don’t we? I mean, we all have a little of this, that, and the other thing, all pullin’ us in different directions, with never a letup in sight. Life is like that, y’know?

But in fact, isn’t it also true that those tensions, stresses, and strains, once we learn to “tune” them to the proper note, are what help produce the beautiful music that is our lives? It’s somewhere there in the balance, isn’t it?

So next time you’re tempted to curse, rant or rail about something in your life that’s pullin’ you in two different directions, just think about that piano. After everything is said and done, it isn’t all about the tensions we face every day. Hey, welcome to life!

Nope, I think life is really all about the music.

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Tags: linkedin, music, piano, strength, stress, tension, test, trial

In case you’re wondering just what the heck happened to yours truly…

Well the good news is, I didn’t fall into a deep hole. And no, I didn’t become a fugitive from justice, change my name, and move to Gondwanaland, either. And, uh, I wasn’t retrieved by the Mother Ship (although you never know; that may yet happen).

(By the way, if you have NOT been wondering why I’ve not written anything new in a while – well, I’d rather you didn’t tell me and spoil the illusion. Just sayin’.)

Anyhoo – as you may or may not remember, I work in the engineering business, and unfortunately that particular segment of the economy (along with most of the others – with the possible exception of government employment) has been hit pretty hard. Naturally I’ve been searching for work for some time now.

The thing is, over the last few months I must admit to a certain lack of, well, inspiration when it comes to writing. Perhaps you know what I mean, right? As for me, my Muse decided to pack a bag, take a vacation,  and went trippingly out the door with nary a backward glace. I mean, not even a postcard! Sheesh!

Yup; that’s sorta what happened to me. Thus, not a single written word for about two months now.

However, the good news is I am once again fully employed! YEEHAW! (sound of crowd cheering and throwing their hats into the air) That’s right, y’all; the ranks of the unemployed have been reduced – to 8,499,999. (That is, if you accept that 8-1/2 million-jobs-lost number the U.S. Labor Department throws around. Sadly, the evidence suggests that number is ‘waaay bigger).

The Shape of Things to Come

The thing is, my new job is going to keep me a lot busier (as opposed to… not working), so needless to say, posting frequency is of necessity going to be greatly reduced. But then again, since I’ve only posted once since Easter, I suppose any posting would technically be an improvement.

Anyway, some things will of necessity have to change here in the Middle Zone.

First of all, the theme here at the Zone  (“lessons learned… from life”) will continue. It’s been a winner for a long time, and I see no reason to change directions. Life will always have a great deal to teach, and I hope to continue capturing and sharing at least a few of those lessons for as long as I’m still breathin’.

Having said that, though, you can probably expect any future posts to be on a somewhat irregular schedule, and likely no more than a few times a month. At least, until I get back into the swing of things. You know how it is, right? What with work (yay!), commute, sleep, church, and quality time with Mrs. MZM, well, there ain’t that much time left to write. Oh, I know; lots of folks manage to juggle all those balls and more without missing a beat. But I’d rather take my time and make sure the priorities get taken care of before taking on too much. So I’d rather work my way back up to something more regular over time. So let’s just see how it goes.

I’ve sadly decided to suspend our monthly What I Learned From… projects for a while. Hey, we’ve had a great run over the last three years, with nearly 1,000 entries from hundreds of folks. But I simply don’t have the time to keep it up right now. Maybe later we can start ‘em up again, but for now, feel free to enjoy the archives. Believe me, there’s some real gems in there.

Also, my social media time (which was, ahem, never much to speak of) has become virtually non-existent, and I don’t see that improving much in the near term. Oh, I’ll still be around, commenting on the occasional post or two. And I still use my RSS reader to keep track of my favorite bloggers. So just know I haven’t completely abandoned y’all; I’ll still probably be lurking there in the background. Really.

Finally, something else I’ve recently gotten into is photography. Thanks to an amazing turn of events, I recently acquired a “really nice” camera and have caught the photography bug. Alas and forsooth, once again there are only so many hours in the day, so while I’m happily learning something new – my writing will of necessity suffer because of it. Hopefully I’ll be able to combine both writing and photography in the future.

If you like, you’re welcome to observe my journey from budding neophyte to professional photographer (yeah, right!) by following my Flickr stream here . And yes, I do manage to peruse some of y’all’s Flickr streams as well. Keep up the good work!

Please Subscribe!

In the meantime, by all means, please continue your subscription to Middle Zone Musings via RSS or by email. I truly appreciate your continued patronage, and hopefully things will pick up soon. In fact, even as you read this I’ve got another post in the making. So stay tuned!

Oh, and a big ol’ tip o’ the hat to ya!

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By the way, you may or may not be wondering why on Earth I called this post the “wildebeest news” report. Well, it’s a sorta play on the way a certain word sounds in English. See, sometimes a wildebeest is called a “gnu”. And “gnu” rhymes with “new”, as in “latest”. Thus, “The Wildebeest News Report” translates into “The Latest News Report” Get it? Huh? Huh? (sound of audience groaning)

I’m tellin’ ya; sometimes I crack myself up.

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Tags: news gnu wildebeest writing latest change