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OK, I have kindofa weird question for you. A conversation with a friend got me to thinking about it (that grinding noise you hear). But bear with me, there’s a method to my, er, madness today.

Have you ever considered that you might be a robot?

Apparently there’s a relatively new TV show called The Big Bang Theory (storyline: two nerdy physicists sharing an apartment have their lives disrupted by a beautiful new neighbor) in which this very question comes up. (Extra special bonus points: How many stereotypes can you identify in that show’s storyline?)

First, you may need a little background.

The question above is a reference to a recent and somewhat silly movie I, Robot (starring the amazingly versatile Will Smith). Well actually, to be more accurate (something we always strive for here at the Zone!), it refers to the wonderful series of books and short stories written by sci-fi author extraordinaire, Isaac Asimov.

Oh, I guess the movie was all right as a good non-gory, mildly interesting action/sci-fi thriller. But as is typical with Hollywood, it had very little, if anything, to do with the original book. Ah, well, c’est la vie (which is Hollywoodspeak for don’t bother us with facts!)

The thing is, in this story all robots have built into them something called the Three Laws of Robotics. These laws are hard-wired into every robot, thereby providing complete and utter confidence that robots would never cause harm to anyone, thus:

1. A robot may not injure a human being or, through inaction, allow a human being to come to harm.
2. A robot must obey orders given to it by human beings except where such orders would conflict with the First Law.
3. A robot must protect its own existence as long as such protection does not conflict with the First or Second Law.

Anyway, back to the TV show.

Four friends are sitting around one evening when out of the blue, one of them asked another the above question. The response, after a moment of incredulity, was a resounding denial, naturally. But the fellow persisted.

“I don’t know; let’s think about this for a minute,” he said. “Have you ever intentionally harmed a human being?”

“Well, no,” he replied.

“Has there ever been a time when you failed to do something, and someone was hurt?”

“Of course not!” was the indignant answer.

“Have you ever willingly allowed another human being to come to harm?”

The guy looks at him in exasperation. “I would never do that!”

There was silence for a minute. Finally, the other three nodded their heads to each other and said to the guy, “You know, I think you just might be a robot.”

Whereupon the guy gets up, walks over to his questioner, and whacks him on the arm! “Nope,” he says smugly, sitting down again. “Not a robot.”

OK, by now you’re probably asking yourself, “Self, what the heck does all this weird talk of robots and laws and stuff have to do with me?”

Well, first of all, how long have you been doing this “talking to yourself” thing? Maybe you should seriously consider getting professional help!

Anyhoo –

Has anyone ever gotten the wrong impression of you? Was it something you said? (I didn’t mean it - honest!) Something you inadvertently did? (I didn’t mean it - honest!) Maybe it was even something you, um, er, wrote? (Eek! Kinda hard to take that one back, isn’t it?)

Well, my fine feathered friend, if this has ever happened to you, then don’t just sit there and stew about it (forming a sortof, er, you stew - yuk!) No way, Jose! Let Dr. Bob give you the solution to what ails ya!

Hey, this is not the time to sit back and mope around, my friends! Nope, you want to think of it as a call to action! It’s actually quite simple, and can be summed up in only three little words:

Prove them wrong!

Even more extra special bonus points: Has it ever happened to you? What happened, and what did you do to correct the situation?

You know, it would just be absolutely finer than a frogs hair if you would subscribe to my RSS feed!