Have you ever learned something from a… grape? I know, I know; it’s a sortof off-the-wall thought – even for me.

I was eating grapes the other day at lunchtime. *Sigh.* Yep; you know what happened next, don’t you? Sure enough; I dropped one. (Note to self: always eat grapes ONE at a time!)

Ah, well, no big deal. Although… a grape isn’t something you generally want to leave in your office. I mean, that’s all I need is a stray piece of food lying around, attracting all sorts of undesirable critters to my cube, like mice, ants or (sound of terrified scream) co-workers. But I digress.

Anyway, as I initiated a cube-wide search for the wayward grape (which exercise entails crawling around on hands and knees, since my Star Trek tricorder is either in the shop or, er, nonexistent), this little story came to mind…

A young man walked into a convenience store one day. He moseyed up to the manager and asked, “Got any gwapes?”

“No, sorry,” the manager said. The young man walked out, disappointed.

The next day, he came back to the store and asked, “Got any gwapes?”

Somewhat miffed, the manager said, “I already told you; no, I don’t!” The young man again left disappointed.

The day after that, the young man walked in again and asked, “Got any gwapes?”

This time the manager really got ticked! “No! I do not have any gwapes!” Then he added for good measure, “If you come in here one more time asking for gwapes I’ll nail your feet to the floor!” Once again, the young man left.

The next day, the young man once again walked into the store. The manager eyed him suspiciously, fully prepared to read him the riot act, so to speak. But this time, he was completely floored when the young man asked, “Got any nails?”

Caught off-guard, the manager cautiously replied, “No, why?”

The young man smiled hugely. “Well, then… ya got any gwapes?”

Y’know, it was funny then, and still funny now. Oh, sure, there’s probably several versions of that story floating around (I think the most common is one with a duck and a bartender instead of the characters above), but it’s still the same story. I’d love to know who first told it.

There are actually quite a few lessons you can learn from this story; lessons applicable to business, customer relations – you name it. No, really. You’ve heard of the killer bees, right? Well, here’s three B’s for you:

Be… Different

OK; it seems obvious, but bear with me for a moment; it isn’t quite as obvious as that: The fact is, you don’t always have to be completely different in order to get folks’ attention; only just different enough.

See, to my mind (which admittedly can be a very strange place), one reason the story works so well is the use of gwapes instead of what your mind expects to hear: grapes. It produces a sortof mental double-take as your brain does a quick rewind/replay routine to confirm what it heard was, indeed, the word gwapes.

The beauty of the technique is it gets your attention in a very smart and subtle way. Not like a club over the head, but like a shiny, flashy thingie at the edge of perception. But sometimes that’s a great way to lure folks in, isn’t it?

So when it comes to differentiating yourself from your competition, try using a technique that’s unexpected and subtle instead of the “whatever they offer, we’ll beat it!” club-over-the-head method. You may just accomplish what you want – with far less effort (and possibly expense) – than if you had to be, as Monty Python used to say, “completely different”.

[About now I'm starting to get puzzled. I've searched the entire cubicle, and there's no grape to be found anywhere. I scratch my head. What could have happened to the pesky little thing, anyway?]

Be… Prepared

Another lesson you can pick up from this story is related to persistence. Surely we’ve all heard enough admonitions about persistence, and the need for it, to last for a lifetime, right? (Yes, I know; and don’t call you Shirley. Sorry.)

But what about the time element here? C’mon, show of hands: Have you ever gotten yourself (for whatever reason) caught in the cycle of attempt/reject/try again that you, um, forgot to be prepared if when your persistence pays off?

If there’s a goal you’re trying to reach, and you keep falling short – but you just know it’s going to happen sooner or later – well, have you made your plans for when it does happen? Okay, good for you! Then how about this one: if it’s been a while now, yet you’re still confident – have you updated your plans, uh, lately?

Oops.

Yep; things have a way of changin’ on us, especially when we’re not lookin’. Hmm… do you feel the sun shining on a place where the sun doesn’t usually shine? Maybe you should go back and review a couple of lessons learned from a duck I know. Hey, I’m just sayin’.

[OK, this is getting ridiculous. I've practically turned my office upside down, but no grape. Where could the little booger be, anyway?]

Be… Hilarious

Hey, listen to the Doctor here, folks. Irrespective of whatever other lessons you might learn from this story – I’m tellin’ ya, for grabbing people’s attention – and holding it longer – well, there ain’t nothin’ like a good giggle, chuckle, or outright guffaw!

The fact is, people generally love to laugh. (Oh, sure, there are apparent exceptions. But IMHO they’re the folks who need it most. After all, an ingrown chuckle can be a terrible thing. Just look at Mr. Spock.) What’s more, people will laugh whenever they can. Look around, friends; you’ll see it for yourself. How many times a day do you hear laughter somewhere nearby?

C’mon, seriously; doesn’t it make you want to get in on the joke so you can laugh, too?

Laughter changes the body’s chemistry, releases pent-up tensions, produces healthful benefits – oh, the list goes on and on. So why not take advantage of the thing people want to do most, anyway? Make ‘em laugh!

In fact…

[I know you'll be relieved to hear the saga of the missing grape has finally been solved. It was in my, er, shirt pocket.]

Tell Me More

So here I’ve listed only three possible lessons. What about you? What lessons can YOU learn from a gwape – I mean, grape?