@Jeanne – It’s funny how you have to sortof give to get in any relationship, isn’t it?

And you don’t have to show me the snow – I believe you! (shudder)

That Trust Equation you mention is interesting to me. It looks like a very good way to determine trust when it comes to individual people. But I wonder – is it also applicable to organizations? Ow would there be some additional factors needed.

I ask this because the choice of labels (we call them the ” -ilities”) are many of the same ones (or variations) we use in building trust in, say, a refinery: Reliability, Maintainability, Capability, Availability.

Interesting. I’ll have to look into this more. And pick up your book

Thanks for dropping by the Zone, Charles!

I believe that, as we begin a relationship, we must be open and willing to learn to trust the person, over time, provided the person proves worthy of our trust. (In other words, at the beginning we sort of give people the benefit of the doubt–albeit cautiously–as long as they don’t give us reason not to.) Then, trust builds gradually, over time, as the relationship grows. Just as you say, trust and relationship go hand in hand.

Great post!
Jeanne

Your train of thought may well have “derailed itself, fallen off the Bridge of Reason, and crashed in Crackpot Gulch, exploding into an expanding ball of superheated steam?” I love that description!

But I agree with the chicken-and-egg aspect of trust/relationships.

Over time, if we get to know someone better, either our trust grows — or our distrust grows.

Of course, this all hinges on whether we decide to pursue a relationship in the first place (which requires at least a tiny bit of trust).

It sure sounds a lot like the chicken and the egg… LOL.

a. I completely agree with you about the trust-relationship linkage,
b. I actually know something about it, running a business called Trusted Advisor Associates, c. Best of all, I can testify to your principle because David Maister forwarded your post on to me, and I know David personally. In fact, David and I (and Rob Galford) co-authored the book The Trusted Advisor. (I also wrote a book called Trust-based Selling).

And of course, all the characteristics of your reactions to seeing Mike DeWitt’s name on Maister’s list were exactly echoed by me, having it “pre-certified,” if you will, through the personal connection of David.

Trust, I say to anyone who will listen, is predominantly an interpersonal relationship. In The Trusted Advisor, we proposed the “trust equation,” which links (Credibility + Reliability + Intimacy), all divided by Self-Orientation. Most people focus on the first two, which we tend to think of as less personal–however, even credibility and reliability have major personal components. And intimacy and self-orientation are almost by definition personal.

Most people who talk about online trust or corporate trust work through either heavy reliance on Reliability (think Amazon or e-Bay scores), or try to do it through connections. The trouble with the latter is that X degrees of separation has a pretty fast decay rate with every degree.

Then there’s the Big Lie approach you mention–claiming you are trusted. Think about it: what are the two most trust-destroying words you can say? Trust me! Right? So why would CNN say “the most trusted name in television?” No one believes it, people like you and me are going to make fun of it, etc.

I could go on and on, and so could you but I just want to agree strongly with your basic point. Relationships and trust are intimately and powerfully connected. (Of course, don’t trust me on it–trust DeWitt. Better yet, trust your own gut; that’s what we all do, and it generally works pretty well.

Thanks for a fine post.

It’s true that after reading someone’s blog for a while, you feel that you “know” that person. At least, I do. And to some degree, if the blogger has been transparent and honest, you do.

Of course, who knows what would happen if we met some of our blog friends face-to-face. Would we be annoyed by their obnoxious laugh, their habit of interrupting, their bad body odor? I’ve often wondered what my blog friends are like. Would be friends if we had met some other way?

Food for thought…

But in the end, the person with the kindest spirit will come out OK anyway… usually.

Balance, as you say, is an important key to life.

Mother Earth aka Karen Hanrahan

Which is it? Are you really from Missouri? Or are you a “show me” person?

Anyhoo -

I think you’ve got it right – the reason blogging is so much more powerful than simply marketing is the two-way nature of the medium. It allows people to get to know each other in ways that was impossible (or too slow to matter) before.

I know there’s a lot of debate about the “Wisdom of Crowds” thing, but for me, this is one of the strongest things about having so many of us out there: it’s sometimes pretty easy to spot the fakes!

Actually, it’s a good question. What do you do with those kind of relationships? The polite thing is to keep the lines of communication open. What you’d like to do is end it because it doesn’t “do” anything for you. Hmm… sounds like another post in making… sound of grinding

You make a good point about numbers, though. When online, for instance, it’s all I have to go on. But is that actually trust? I trust my friends; I don’t really trust the book – until I’ve read it for myself and know it’s what I wanted. On the other hand (how many hands is that, anyway?), I trust an author I’ve read and like, even if I don’t now them personally.

Thanks for introducing me to “I’m from Missouri” (I am)

I know this wasn’t the subject of your post, but for me this is what social media is all about.

It’s why blogging has the power to transform business relationships. Because we’ve got switched off to ‘marketing’ messages and want to hear what ‘real’ people think about products and services.

Because we get to ‘know’ people by reading their stuff over and over again. Because if they recommend a dud they know and we know that it will affect their reputation and credibility. They’ll lose us. Which means if we trust them and they say ‘this stuff’s good’ it’s a turbo powered recommendation.

Joanna

PS I’m in the middle of reading Cluetrain Manifesto – as Brad’s written before it’s a bit OTT in places but some of it has given me a real ‘aha’ moment… and insight into how and why the web is developing the way that it is.

PPS Curious as to whether my picture’s going to appear when I hit ’submit’…