The Tie That Binds
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One common thread that seems to run through most societies is the fact that shared experiences tend to build common bonds, even among otherwise total strangers. Remember the swell of kinship many of us (and yes, even with other countries) felt immediately after 9-11?
We’ve had the privilege of seeing the same thing happen here in Houston after Ike came through. Total strangers are talking to each other, sharing their experiences during the storm and afterwards as though they were old friends. It’s both refreshing and poignant.
Oh, sure; some of that enthusiasm fades with time. Again; look what happened after the fervor of 9-11 waned a bit. Most people went back to being just… people again. But still, I’d be willing to bet there’s a few new long-lasting bonds now that weren’t there before. Like it or not, there was no going back to The Way Things Were. Hey, it’s progress, of a sort.
Cool Weather - A Real Blessing
A couple of days after Hurricane Ike passed (Sunday, the 21st), a ridge of high-pressure Canadian air settled in (and that was mighty kind of you Canadians to send it our way!) As a result, we experienced the wonderful and unexpected blessing of unseasonably cool and dry weather. What should normally have been in the 90’s and quite steamy was actually more like the low to mid-80’s and surprisingly low humidity.
It made the next several days actually quite pleasant, I’ll tell ya. And even more astonishing, in the evenings it got down in the low 60’s! Believe me, that sort of thing rarely happens in September around here. So while waiting for power to be restored, instead of sittin’ around listening to our hair grow, Mrs. MZM and I broke out the bikes so we could get out and enjoy the nice weather.
Actually, it gave us a chance to survey the neighborhood for the first time since the storm. Amazingly enough (and I say this with no pride whatsoever) our street was one of the least hit. I’d say it was mainly because we don’t have any large trees. Surprisingly, most roofs appeared to manage the winds just fine (way to go, roofing contractors!) But alas, it’s not normal to build a wood-framed house that will hold up under a fallen tree.
Many of our neighborhood’s other streets had trees, big and small, leaning every which way. Lots of houses had trees downed on top of them. One house had not one, but three trees crunched into its roof. And even more amazing, another had a large pine tree (about 10 inches in diameter and probably originally 50 feet tall) poking through its roof. Not on it, mind you; through it. Pretty sobering, when you think about that kind of wind power.
A Common Bond
One thing we noticed almost right away. Riding around, we had the opportunity to see and meet folks we’d never ordinarily get to meet. I mean, as I mentioned before, the weather is usually too hot at this time of year to be outside unless you’re (eek!) doing yard work or something like that.
But now, with no power and fine weather, literally everybody was outside. It made it easy to meet the folks. What’s more, we all had something in common now - a sure-fire icebreaker when people meet for the first time.
The most common thing we heard (or said) was something like, “So how’d y’all do in the storm?” Even back at work, the two most of-repeated lines are a) the above, and b) “Got your power back yet?”
The news media waxes eloquent about how people are “pulling together” to help each other through this rough time. Neighbors helping neighbors, sharing power generators and gasoline to run them, just doing what needs to be done with no questions asked. It’s normal after this sort of thing.
And we’ve done our share of meeting and greeting too. We now know folks all over our neighborhood instead of only a few on our own street. The sense of community has definitely expanded a lot. But will it last?
Maintaining the Ties That Bind
One of the things we forget is that as the memories of these experiences gradually fade away in time, any bonds we might have made will tend to fade, too. This experience can be anywhere from mildly irritating to rather traumatic, especially if you felt a real kinship and bond with them at the time. It almost seems as if part of you is running down, like a spinning flywheel that slowly runs out of spin.
The solution? Well, it’s embarrassingly simple, really. And it’s not like we don’t know it already.
We just have to remember to put something of ourselves into the relationship. We have to make the effort. And hey, it’s not like you have to, you know, like everyone you meet. (As far as I know, that’s not a “rule”.) Unless your name is Will Rodgers, who of us can truthfully say that? But wouldn’t you agree the odds are at least some of the folks we meet will be compatible?
So even though we’ve met quite a few new folks now, the reality is that it’s up to us. If we don’t do something to keep the relationships going, well, then it’s our own fault when they fizzle out over time. So Mrs. MZM and I will keep riding our bikes through the neighborhood, meeting folks when we can. I mean, you never know…
Oops
Well, I went and broke the so-called blogging rules again. (Dang! I hate it when that happens!) I got all the way to the end of this post and lo and behold, there’s no call to action here; no clever play of words designed to provoke you to respond in the comment box. Well, sorry ‘bout that.
But hey, if you just feel the urge to leave a comment anyway, then all I can say is: Go for it, Bubba!
You know, it would just be absolutely finer than a frogs hair if you would subscribe to my RSS feed!
16 responses so far
Middle Zone Musings is a comfortable place to stop, have a cup of coffee, swap a few stories and share practical ideas for the real world. I don't ask for much, just a bit of your brain every now and then. Have a seat, take a load off, and relax...
I didn’t think there were any rules in the Zone Bob!
Thanks for sharing more of your post Ike experience. Interesting how much the weather affects things. It’s never too hot to go outside here - though the rain might keep us in - but I have noticed that the people in this country area I’ve moved to are out and about a lot more, which makes it easier to have ‘occasional’ conversations, just in passing. It makes it a lot easier because you don’t have to go to a big effort to bump into people.
I wonder if blogging helps us to be more sociable in real life - because we’re learning good conversational and sociability skills - or gets in the way, because we spend more time inside attached to the pc?
Joanna Youngs last blog post..Comments, Community and Conversation
Joanna,
that’s an interesting question. Sometimes I’ve got the feeling that I live in two different worlds - the blogosphere and the “real world”. Yet there are precious moments where I can tie both worlds together: when I talk face-to-face to real friends about the need to think globally and then tell about my virtual “Blog-friends” (I hope I can call you that, Joanna and Robert and all the others) all over the world. Or when writing a blog post about the importance of having good friends - that wouldn’t be possible without having some I regularly meet and talk with.
Just my two cents,
Ulla
And by the way: It makes a lot of difference whether you hear about Ike in the German TV or you know someone who’s gone really through it. I deeply appreciate you, Robert, sharing your experience with us!
Ulla Hennigs last blog post..Art on the Ceiling
@Joanna - Interesting question - I know the temptation is there to remain inside, but ya gotta get out sometime, ya know? I’d like to think my conversational skills are growing because of our online conversations… but only time will tell on that one, I guess.
Gee, wonder what it’s like to live where it’s never too hot to go out. Does that mean it sometimes gets too COLD to go out then? Brrrr - !
@Ulla - Hey, we’re just “friends”, Ulla!
You know; you make a good point, too, about distance. It’s sometimes difficult to be as involved in a storm like this when you’re half a world away. Just like Ike went through Cuba, wreaking havoc there as well - yet we in Houston barely give them any thought.
Our prayers and thoughts need to go to them, too. Thanks for spurring the thought, Ulla.
very well written Rob, and I think that relationships that are formed under any non-normal circumstances are tough to maintain, unless there’s a much deeper bond then just the experience shared. Because like you said when that memory starts to fade so will the relationship.
Indeed we are friends Ulla
And I agree that talking to people online helps us to make sense of news that otherwise just passes us by, making things comprehensible at a human level.
Robert, it’s rarely too cold in an absolute sense to go outside in Scotland but it can be too miserable - cold, wet, windy, damp. “Dreich” is a very good word for it.
Joanna Youngs last blog post..Comments, Community and Conversation
@Steve - So true; so true. But hey, it’s a chance to put into practice the things we learned blogging: stick out a hand, say “howdy!” (or the greeting of your choice), and see what happens. You never know…
@Joanna - Oh, nicely put! That’s exactly it - putting things in a human perspective. When I read about something that happens far away it’s hard to understand it on a personal level. So I know what you’re saying.
“Dreich”… OK, I got that. The winter I spent in New Orleans (quite some time ago) was definitely dreich.
I tend to smile at people, and some respond. Even if they’re not in the mood it’s not too intrusive. But to develop ongoing relationships, IMHO, it’s best to get involved in a group where everyone is working towards a common goal. For me right now it’s our local Friends of the Shelter. It’s a great group.
You’re right, of course, Jean. After all, ice-breakers only, you know, break the ice. Building commonalities takes much more. But it’s a start, anyway.
Well, Robert. The family or friend is the best thing that bond us together and we should cherish this relationship, no matter what happened to us!
Quite right, Wilson; we should cherish all bonds of friendship. Wouldn’t it be a cryin’ shame to make it to the finish without friends.
Hey Robert, your readers need no prompting to talk! LOL! Once again, may I say that I am so thankful that lives were spared. It is both heartwarming and sad that we pull together in tragedy but in the day to day of life we forget to make time for a little visiting over the fence. We come and go and wave a hand as we pass by but we don’t sit on the porch with a cup of tea or coffee and just visit. In my old neighborhood, I was blessed to live in a community. We shared garden vegetables, stories, walks and grocery runs. I met even more neighbors when I took up running. Folks were mighty curious about my long runs and I got to know people from other blocks. My dog became quite the popular pup too especially when he would refuse to walk any more and we would have to carry him home. But I digress, sorry about that. Thanks for sharing this post-Ike story. I hope the warmth of community does not quickly fade.
Karen Swims last blog post..Thankful Thursday
Ah, this beautiful post came on a morning when I stopped at a neighbor’s house to chat. She’s heading on over here this afternoon for more yakking. Thanks for that reminder to reach out (I’m resisting the urge to type “and touch someone”–what commercial was that?) and connect.
Karen Putzs last blog post..What I Learned from my Homebirth
@Karen S. - Ain’t that the truth! I love it!
I’m glad you’re back where you belong; so many of us never seem to find that spot, and spend our years wandering aimlessly, lost in the foggy, foggy dew. (Oops, sorry; got a wee bit poetic, there.)
Our neighborhood jaunts have opened a lot of doors, though. Hopefully we’ll be able to keep a few of ‘em open.
@Karen P. - I think that was some phone company commercial from way back. ‘Course, most folks would say I’m already a mite, you know, touched. But let’s not go there.
Hope your yak
hasis fun!