What is it about limits that make us human beans get all riled up inside? And why do we insist on kicking against any kind of limitations other folks may put upon us?

I was wandering around Discovery Green Park (it’s a small park in downtown Houston) a while back and one of the things I ran across was this stairway to, apparently, nowhere. It was tall and broad, made of very nicely laid brick, and – completely blocked off by this sign suspended on a chain!

Now, I gotta ask ya – is it just me? I’m tellin’ ya, whenever I see stuff like this, the first thing I want to do is, well, step right over the rope, chain or whatever, and go right in. I’m not alone, am I? Nope; thought not!

See, there’s this thing inside us that pretty much hates bein’ told what it can or can’t do, y’know? Now, is that a good thing, or a bad thing? Ah, now that’s the $49 question, don’t ya think?

The Good and the Bad

On the one hand, limits teach us some pretty good lessons, don’t they? I mean, when you’re a baby, and you reach for a hot stove, the alert and careful parent will tell you NO! in no uncertain terms. Wouldn’t you agree that’s a good limit? And when children go out in the backyard to explore and play, the fence generally defines the limits where parents might consider it to be “safe”, right? (There’s always a fence, of course; whether or not it’s physical is beside the point.)

I mean, those are good uses of limits, wouldn’t you say? They are there to help us survive childhood, for one thing. And in some cases, they give us the opportunity to, y’know, grow up!

On the other hand, there’s limits imposed upon us for other reasons, such as the one pictured here. Or, maybe they’re limitations imposed  by a business (we accept cash only, no checks), a government (you will pay your taxes and you will enjoy it!), or even a friend (no, you can’t come over tomorrow, that’s the day I get my house fumigated). Augh! What’s a body to do?

A Stop Sign – or a Green Light?

Most of the time, those limitations you encounter every single day of our lives are so mundane and accepted that you may not even think about them. And that’s as it should be, don’t you think? I mean, if you had to stop and decide whether to accept every limit placed upon you every time it happened, you’d never get anywhere!

But what about the limits imposed upon us by other folks – that keep us from something you’re convinced is worthwhile? Ah, now that’s a pickle of another persuasion, isn’t it? When that sort of thing happens, it sorta riles you up, now, don’t it?

You find yourself sayin’ something along the lines of, Now who the heck do you think you are, anyway, to tell me I can’t climb that mountain, fly that high, or (feel free to fill in the blank here)?(Usually to be accompanied by a humph! or two.)

That’s what usually happens with me, anyway. In fact, I remember thinking that very thing (along with the humph!) a long time ago when a friend of mine told me it was “too late” to go back to school and finish my degree. After all, he pointed out, it’s been twenty years since I was in college. Besides, why bother? he said; what will it get you?

But you know what? It wasn’t!

In fact, I finished my Bachelor’s degree almost twenty years to the month after I started it! (Like I always say, I may not be smart – but I am slow!) Not only that, just for the heck of it I went on to get a Master’s and a Doctorate, too. No limits here, I’ll tell ya! As for what it’s given me, well, that would take a lot more than a simple blog post. Suffice it to say, it’s made a difference.

What Makes the Difference?

The fact is, limits can impose restrictions upon your actions – or they can cause you to rise up to even greater things, can’t they? What makes the difference?

Now, that is one interesting question, don’t you think? And after thinkin’ about it for a while, I decided to open up the floor for that one. So now it’s your turn!

Why do some folks hit a limit of some kind and stop (or turn aside), while others find ways to get around the limit and keep on’ goin’?  What makes one limit “firm”, while another one is really a sorta “call to arms”, if you get my meanin’ – a challenge to greatness?

I’m not sure there are any hard and fast rules here, but if you know of some, I’d be interested to hear ‘em! In the meantime, I’ll leave the light on for ya, OK?

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This is an entry for this month’s What I Learned From Limits groupwrite project. Hey, there’s plenty of time left and you’re welcome to join us if you like; just follow that link there and read all about it!

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I would say it’s a truism that pretty much everybody wants to “get ahead” to some degree, don’cha think? I mean sure, there’s probably a few folks completely satisfied with where they happen to be in life, but most of us haven’t quite gotten there yet, y’know? The only problem is… well, sometimes the path may seem a mite scary, don’t it?

Now, why should that be? I mean, it’s probably something you’ve been thinkin’ about for some time now, right? But don’t you find yourself thinkin’, down in your heart of hearts, Am I really sure I can do it? For one thing, you probably don’t really know what it’s like up there, right? I mean, you may have some idea, but what if you end up overextending yourself, exposing for all the world that you really don’t know what the heck you’re doing?

What if you finally move up to that next level – and instead of earning those accolades you truly deserve, you end up doin’ the crash-and-burn instead?

Hey, if you’re anything like me (and if so then sincere condolences to ya!), I bet your mind has replayed these thoughts – or perhaps something similar – to yourself a time or two. Especially when it came time to makin’ that move for advancement, right? Or, not even necessarily advancement; it just coulda been something you’ve never done before. Heck, maybe you were even simply starting a new job. You know; those “first day” blues, when it feels like you’re bein’ watched by everyone else to see if you really measure up.

I’ll tell ya; that feeling – well, it’s pretty common. The fact is, we all get a mite nervous when it comes time to proving that what we believe about ourselves is really true, y’know?

The Dragon Stairs

During my stay in Taiwan back in 2000, I had a driver that took me to and from work. Believe me, that was a real blessing! All those zillions of cars, myriads of scooters and motorcycles – and everyone driving like a maniac. Yeesh!

Depending on the weather or the traffic density (or heck; for all I knew it coulda been based on the current phase of the moon), we usually followed three or four different routes to the office. I’ll tell ya; I really got to enjoy being driven to work; it gave me plenty of time to see the sights along the way. I’m just sorry I wasn’t blogging back then; I probably would have noticed a lot more…

Anyway, one day we passed a certain spot and out of the corner of my eye a… something caught my attention. Unfortunately, by the time my brain did a double-take made me turn to look again, it was gone. I found myself wondering if I’d really seen what I thought I saw. So what did I see, you ask? It was a… well, if my momma hadn’t taught me not to swear, I woulda sworn I saw a big, um, er, dragon.

OK, I knew it couldn’t be a real dragon. Unfortunately, we’d already turned a corner on the narrow street and whatever I saw was already out of sight. But I resolved to look for it the next time we came that way.

A few days later, we passed the same spot again, and sure enough, it was a dragon! I tapped the driver on the shoulder, held up my camera and pointed. He smiled and pulled over, and I shot these two images of what I now call the Dragon Stairs.

One thing you have to remember. In Chinese cultures, dragons aren’t terrifying creatures; they’re good luck symbols. Thus, I imagine when the monks who live here used these stairs, they weren’t figuratively entering danger. No, they were partaking of a lucky omen.

You gotta admit, though; in Western cultures the dragon is a pretty scary critter, y’know? And somehow, even knowing it’s good luck in the minds of the monks at this temple wouldn’t prevent a slight involuntary shudder if I had to use these stairs. So bear in mind, what I have to say reflects my Western upbringing, ‘K? I’m just sayin’.

Here Be Dragons

Anyway, while contemplating being “upwardly mobile”, well, I kinda though about those stairs, y’know?

Like I said at the beginning, sometimes (OK, maybe most of the time), it can be kinda scary to move up to a level above what you’re used to (and are familiar with). That’s only natural; we all feel a bit of trepidation when we face the unknown, no matter how prepared you feel you are.

I’ll give you an example that’s happened to me quite a few times.

Every time I start a new project, there are new people to get to know, a new set of clients to deal with, a new project manager. And I know they have certain expectations of me when I come on board.

And that’s to be expected, right? After all, they’ve all reviewed my resume, perhaps talked to a few of the folks I’ve worked with before – or not – and they’ve built up this, well, expectation of who I’ll be and what I’ll accomplish for them.

But the reality is, unless I’ve worked for them before, they don’t really know. So there’s pressure on me to perform, right? And that’s the scary part. Despite the confidence in my own abilities – not to mention experience – I still can’t help feel a mite “on the spot”, if you get my meanin’.

In fact, it’s a lot like it would be for me if I had to use those Dragon Stairs. Sure, it’s a mite scary lookin’, but if I’m headed upstairs, then there’s pretty much no choice, right? So I gird my loins, screw my hat down tighter, and (gulp), walk right into the dragon’s mouth. Hey, I know it’s only a stairway. But still, those teeth sure look sharp, y’know? (he said, laughing nervously)

But once I arrive on the next floor up, everything is all right again. I can no longer see the dragon, and it no longer bothers me. In fact, next time I take the stairs, I’d probably not be so nervous anymore. And soon there’ll come a time when I may not even notice that ol’ dragon’s teeth!

Until, um, maybe the next move up.

Food For Thought

As I said, probably most of us have experienced the “upwardly mobile” thing – or something like it – at least once. So today I have some homework for ya.

I want you to take a few minutes and think about what it was like the last time you “moved up”, “stuck your neck out”, “expanded your horizon”, or whatever you want to call it. Try to remember how you felt during the experience, who you encountered along the way, and as many details as you can. Then consider the following questions:

1. When was the last time you made a move upwards? You know what I mean, right? That time you took a chance and did something you’d never done before. You stepped out on faith and started a business, or you went for that promotion, or maybe you presented a proposal to your boss for a new line of business? What was it?
2. Think about the fears you encountered when first planning your move. What were they? Looking back on it now, were they realistic or unfounded? Compare how you feel about them now with how you felt about them then. Did you get support from coworkers, friends, mentors, etc., or was it an opportunity only you seemed to grasp?
3. What did you do to counter those fears? Were there any particular folks who helped you? In what way did their help make the difference?
4. If you had the opportunity, would you do it again? Why or why not?
5. Is there anyone you know who may be facing a similar situation – and could use some encouragement or help right now?

If you like, share your thoughts on the above questions in the comment box below. Heck, write about it at your own place and share the link with us here; we’d love to be a part of it! Don’t be shy; let’s learn together, shall we?

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Photos by Robert Hruzek

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