If you're new around these parts, I just want to say how much I appreciate your dropping by! Oh, and you may want to subscribe to my feed. Thanks, and a tip o' the hat to ya!

OK, it’s time for my semi-sortof annual post on the subject of Marketing.

Now, before I go on, I just want to go on record as saying that I’ll be the first to admit this post constitutes something of a rant. For that I apologize; I’m not usually given to rants here at the Zone. Musings, now… well, musings is what we do best around here.

<rant>

Out to Lunch

I went out to lunch the other day (and yes, I’m aware that some of you may think I’m always out to lunch) at a local beanery. Next door was a national chain drugstore with one of those fancy new computer-controlled marquee-thingies out front.

You’ve seen ‘em, right? They’re similar to the new scoreboard screens you see at sports events; except of course they don’t display the play of the day but a constantly-changing series of whatever are the day’s specials.

Prices are such that, immediately upon seeing said incredibly unbelievable prices, you are expected to cut across 5 lanes of traffic, slide perfectly into a parking slot like a Hollywood stunt driver, and rush breathlessly into the store to make the purchase.

You’ve gotta wonder, though, how successful these things actually are in pulling in customers. I mean, if it were me, for instance, a killer price on a gallon of milk, or 5 cents for a 10-pack of batteries wouldn’t entice me to stop (well, maybe that one for batteries might).

Now I just know you’re sitting there and asking yourself, “OK, Smart Guy; why not?” (Amazing how I can read your minds like that, isn’t it? Oh, and thanks for the complement!)

I Really Hate These Things

What I absolutely hate the most about these things is that nearly every one are so bright I’m afraid of exposure to dangerously high UV levels! Hey, you can call me obstinate (heck; you can call me Steve if you like – I don’t mind), but immediately upon noticing one of these things, my initial and automatic response is to avert my eyes lest I be struck with temporary blindness.

Thus, any possible message about tremendous savings are lost on me. (But I don’t know; it seems to me this might make for some interesting lawsuits, don’t you think?)

Also, and because I’m, you know, driving several thousand pounds of motor vehicle, there’s a limited amount of time for me to read the day’s specials anyway. Let’s say it takes approximately 10-15 seconds to drive by a given sign, and each item is displayed for about 4 seconds. So even if plenty of things might actually be worth my while to make a special stop and purchase, how would I know? I’m not likely to see them.

So I ask you: is such a sign really worth it? After all, since I can only see two, or at most or three items, then what are the odds a particular item would be of interest? (Sound of buzzer) Not bloody likely, I’ll tell you!

And speaking of driving by, here’s another obvious fact: in order for me to read the sign, I have to take my eyes off the road. Now, I don’t know about where you live, but in Houston traffic, if I do that for more than a second or two you’re likely to have to scrape me and my car off a light pole or something!

(Not that I’m a bad driver, mind you; it’s just the way it is here. Continuously keeping your eyes on the road is pretty much a requirement for survival.)

Finally, there’s the chance the message will get, well, lost in translation. As I watched this particular sign, I did notice one message that kinda caught my eye (Augh! My eye! My eye!) The first line (it was a two-line display) read, “Downy Fabric Softener”. The second line went, “Buy 1, Get 1”.

Urk?

Hmmm… I wonder if part of the message got left off – like, for instance, the word “Free”? I mean, after all; if you “buy 1”, then it stands to reason you’d probably, er, “get 1” don’t you think?

What I Learned From…

So what’s the point of this rant, anyway? I have no ideaHey, I’m glad you asked! Here’s what came to mind as I pondered this, um, “sign of the times” (sound of rimshot; sorry, couldn’t resist):

First of all, to understand any of what I’m about to tell you, you must take as a given that we are all marketers. You do understand that point, right? Nod your heads, please (sound of creaky joints). Thank you. OK; here’s just a few points, observations, conclusions, or whatever (in no particular order):

It’s better to specifically target your message – Broadcasting a message for the whole world to see, in the hopes that the numbers game will work for you is IMHO an enormous waste of time and resources. Now, I happen to know these signs aren’t cheap (I know someone who makes them). So once again I ask you: what are the odds of enough people being attracted by this sign enticed to spend their money that the store can even come close to the cost of upkeep, utility use and permitting; not to mention the initial cost of the sign? Smart marketers know the most efficient use of their budget is to target the message to their particular market.

Make word-of-mouth work for you, not against you – I know there are plenty of marketers out there that believe the point of advertising is getting people to talk, good or bad, about their product. But I’m here to tell ya (and trust me; I won’t be the last to do so!): the risk of turning potential customers off – or even worse – turning them into negative evangelists is exceedingly high when what you’re doing irritates the fire out of ‘em! If your message rubs people the wrong way, you could end up being the talk of the town, and NOT in a good way.

Don’t be ridiculous! – OK; I admit I may have exaggerated just a teensy little bit about the whole bright sign/looking away thing. But it’s happened before. Folks around Houston still remember the giant Pepsi logo (it was about 25 feet in diameter and elevated nearly 70 feet high) that used to reside off Hiway 225 near Gulfgate. Honest truth here: it was bad enough during the day, but at night it was so incredibly bright it literally hurt your eyes as it flashed on and off every few seconds. Sure, the message got out: Buy Pepsi. But the message received was completely different: BUY PEPSI, YOU MORONS! Try to put yourself in the customer’s place and see how they would react to your message, your product, and especially your presentation.

OK, granted I’m no marketer (except, you know, as defined above). But these things seem so self-evident to me; how can marketers not see it? Yet sadly, there’s an entire world of examples out there about how NOT to do it right.

</rant>

So how about you? What’s your take on this? Have you run across any obtrusive and/or blatant marketing or advertising that you’re convinced will (or at least, you kinda hope it will) kill the company that does it?

You know, it would just be absolutely finer than a frogs hair if you would subscribe to my RSS feed!