Reality Check
Have you ever experienced a shining moment of glory, only to find out it, er, wasn’t what you thought? Yep; thought so.
Been there.
Standing a Little Taller
Like most companies these days, mine operates with a “business casual” dress code. It’s pretty much been this way as long as I can remember. So when you see someone walking around our offices with a tie, it’s kinda unusual. Generally it means they’re a client.
Now, some of you may recall I changed jobs within my company this past January, moving from the engineering department to the consulting group. Prior to the move, one thing I remembered from past consulting gigs was that we usually wore ties, or (depending on the client) even suited up occasionally. So what the heck, I decided to wear a tie on my first day. Y’know; make a good first impression.
Well, as it turned out, nobody in this part of the company wears ties either. Hmph.
So there I was, strolling around the office with my fancy tie on, and folks who don’t know me think I’m a client. Pretty interesting, actually. I found myself squaring up the shoulders a bit, sucking in the tummy, standing a little taller. Hey, maybe there’s something to this “dress for success” thing after all.
Then I got to thinking (sound of grinding gears); what if I just said the heck with it and wore a tie all the time? I mean, so what if no one else does it? (Call me crazy, but it so happens I like to wear ties.)
So the upshot is, I’ve been wearing one ever since. Does it bother me I’m the only one? (Not even my immediate boss wears one!) Nope, not in the least. Besides, I feel better, you know?
Who knows; maybe it’ll change my life in some strange and wonderful way? Or… not.
My Moment Arrives
Now in our building, if you don’t have a badge, you won’t get past the guard. Hey, no big deal; it’s like that at countless offices around the country. At our office, if an employee forgets or loses their badge, well, they have to wait until the receptionist arrives to sign in and pick up a temporary one for the day (you need a card to open the doors around here).
Anyway, this one particular morning I happened to leave my badge at home. No worries; it just meant a wait in the lobby until the receptionist arrived – 10 minutes, tops. But then, the most interesting thing happened.
I happened to notice the President of our Regional office entering the lobby. What was weird, though, as soon as he walked in, his eyes fastened right on… me! What’s that about? As he headed my way, I’m thinkin’, Uh-oh; what’s going on here?
My brain quickly switched into overdrive as it prepared a series of handy responses (just in case, you understand): “I didn’t do it!” “I don’t care what you heard – it ain’t true!” Somewhere down at the bottom of the list was the final, fallback option: “Howdy, I’m… Joe!” (Hey, I didn’t have a badge – how would he know?)
Sure enough, he made a beeline straight for me, stuck out his hand and introduced himself. You would’ve been proud of me, though; I played it totally cool. I gripped his hand firmly, gave him a big smile, and said, “Howdy, I’m Bob Hruzek.” (Amazing how, when that critical moment finally comes, your brain totally craters and you’re stuck with, you know, the truth.)
Now, I had no idea what was going on. I’ve never met the President of our company before (but I stayed at a Holiday Inn once; does that count? Sorry.) and honestly never really expected to. I mean, it’s a pretty big company after all. To say I was puzzled is something of an understatement.
Meanwhile my poor overworked brain was showing signs of overheating.
What could this possibly be all about, I wondered. Some new program where the Big Boss gets out to “meet the folks”? Had he somehow heard about me from my boss, and was so impressed that he simply had to come over and say hello? I mean, I’d seen him on my floor on occasion. Had I been the subject of a conversation or two? Was there some special assignment they had in mind that no one else was best qualified? Was this to be my moment? Wow, maybe I really AM somebody?
I could tell things were about to get pretty silly.
It Ain’t the Fall, it’s that Pesky Sudden Stop at the Bottom
It all came crashing down within moments, though. As soon as I said my name I could see the surprise on his face. The truth hit me like a glass of cold water down the back of my shorts. I knew instantly he had expected to meet someone else – someone who, as luck would have it, would probably be wearing a tie. Probably a client. Oh, well.
After a brief and somewhat awkward moment, he said those words we all love to hear: “Oh, sorry! I thought you were someone else.”
Just like that, he turned around, went off to the elevators, and disappeared. Alas, my brief, shining moment of imagined self-importance and glory melted away like an ice cube on a Houston sidewalk in August.
And I still had no badge.
Sigh.
Don’cha just hate it when that happens? I mean, how easy was it to start thinking of myself in glowing terms; to begin to, as the Apostle Paul once warned against, “… think more highly of myself than I ought”?
Pretty easy, as it turned out.
Well, as reality checks go, this one wasn’t so bad. But that’s OK. After all, I did get to meet the Boss. Hey, you never know; maybe one day I’ll be shaking his hand for something I actually did.
18 responses so far
Middle Zone Musings is a comfortable place to stop, have a cup of coffee, swap a few stories and share practical ideas for the real world. I don't ask for much, just a bit of your brain every now and then. Have a seat, take a load off, and relax...
Bob, those lessons in humility are well humbling! I would have thought the same thing. I love your attitude about the dress code though, I find “casual dress results in a casual attitude.” When it’s time for business, the right clothes put me in the right frame of mind. By the way, I had a similar moment. While still working in Corp America, I was shocked when the CEO said “Hi Karen” in the hallway after meeting me at a huge company event. I just about keeled over, thinking I had impressed him with my marketing genius. I shared the news with a few colleagues, beaming I mean everyone wants to talk to the CEO so having him call you by name is a big deal right? It turned out that he was a master at remembering names! No small feat when you’re the CEO of one of the largest companies in the US.
Isn’t it funny, Karen, how much different the perspective is – when you’re only 3 inches tall!
Yup; these kinds of lessons I can do without! Unless I, you know, need ‘em.
Hey, that CEO has quite a gift. Wish I could remember stuff that well. Alas, I’m afraid too many brain cells have been taking early retirement… :-\
Bob,
Wow, I thought we worked for the same company – Computer Sciences Corporation – until you wrote this story.
We only get casual on Fridays – but ties aren’t ever required.
If they were, I like to wear ones with paintings by Van Gogh or have livestock on them, like cattle and swine.
-Sam
Sams last blog post..Thanks Be to God
Hey, great story — as usual! I think it’s hilarious that your boss thought you must be a client because you were more dressed up than your co-workers. Just imagine his embarrassment to not even remember his own employees if you feel bad!
@Sam – Hey, I like a fellow that goes for the unusual. You outta get a load of the one I’m wearing today: a King Kong tie!
@Ria – Yeah, the joke’s on him, er, me. Ah, well… how fleeting you are, fickle fame!
Bob, we call that kind of thing a character builder. Not everyone would take such an experience as lightheartedly as you, and that’s to your credit.
Brad Shorrs last blog post..On Politics: In Search of Eloquence
Aw shucks, Brad, yer jest sayin’ that!
Character? Well, maybe. I suppose it all goes into that big ol’ pot we call experience, though. Besides, considering my life… it’s pretty much par for the course! :-\
Thanks for a good laugh. Those humbling moments are funny when they happen to you.
Hey, I’m here for ya, Lillie! Besides, they sound a lot funnier when they’re written down than when they’re, you know, happening.
Always happy to do my part to make the world a better place!
Bob,
Wonderful story!
You discovered something I tell all my workshop attendees about image: “The way you look and dress announces the outcome other people can expect from. It also announces how you feel about yourself, and you’ll be treated accordingly.” Wearing a tie announces that you feel good about who you are and what you do; it announces that you are a serious professional. It also says, impressing clients is more important to me than my own comfort. Before you open your mouth, it says you are a serious professional – maybe important IF you wear a power tie.
A man’s tie is the only component of his wardrobe that enables him to “make a statement” about who he is. It also happens to be a phallic symbol, so it is sexy as well – but most men don’t know that or they wouldn’t be crybabies about wearing ties.
Even though the outcome of this story ws disapointing, the lesson learned was not. The big boss KNEW you were probably a customer instead of an employee because of the way you dressed. Think about that!!! What does he think of the image of his employees?
I tell my clients to always dress one notch above your client so they can look at you and be proud. Don’t we all love to point at our doctor, lawyer, “bank guy/gal” “Computer guy/gal” and beam proudly at them, saying, “That’s my lawyer” etc.
Sandy, I’m so glad you found the Zone! I can imagine your
disappointmentsurprise when your search for the phrase “dressed for success” brought you, er, here instead of that snooty ol’ Jose Q. Bunks place!You do make some interesting points. I’ve always felt as you do about dressing up a bit more than average. I have to admit, though; I’ve never thought of a tie as a phallic symbol. (Except for my King Kong tie, of course. Now that’s my definition of a power tie!)
But do you really think the big boss (who most of the time doesn’t wear a tie, either) thinks “less” of his employees for that? Not sure I agree, although there may be some subconscious stuff going on there just the same.
Nevertheless, I continue to wear ties to work, if only to proclaim my inherent maverickhood with the statement, “Hey, I’m different!” (Even if most people hear, “Hey, I’m insane!” instead. But I don’t mind; insanity fits within my definition of “different”.)
Bob, just to prepare you for that shining moment when you will meet the top dog for a reason other than mistaken identity: the odds are good that, when he looks you in the eye as he shakes your hand, he will have the faintest hint of confusion showing. No one but you will be able to see it, of course, as he is bound to be a professional at appearing always on control. But you will see it, and you can then feel the glee of having confused the highest-ranking official of the company.
His confusion, of course, will come from his brain having stored that brief and somewhat-embarrassing moment which you recount here: he will recall your face, but probably won’t remember why he knows you.
And the tie thing? Many years ago, when ties were still required at the company where I have worked now for almost twenty years, I ruined a silk tie my mother had purchased for me in New York (I live out west in the vast unknown area between Chicago and LA, and invoking “New York” in any story makes it sound more important) and that was the last day I wore a tie to work.
Every other male in the office continued to wear ties for about three or four years, but I never did. Could be that folks noticed the low, growling sound which I produced any time someone would glance at that area of the chest where the tie would be most prominent, because no one ever said a word to me about it.
It was a fun few years.
Thanks for reminding me of those days, Bob!
Rick Hamricks last blog post..Finding your reset button
Oh, it’s been a LONG time since I wore a tie, and I’m just fine with that. I grew up in England, where school uniforms were the norm (still are, I believe) and I wore a tie every day from age 5 to age 18. That was plenty for me, thanks.
I don’t argue with those who see them as a power statement, as more business-like, as more this or that … I just don’t agree. If you’re good at your job, the tie won’t matter. Similarly, if you’re not …
Oh, btw … new to your blog, and finding it very interesting. Looking forward to having you pop up in my RSS feed regularly.)
Jacob Angels last blog post..Not Quite So Bad After All
@Rick – You may be right; now I have something to look forward to one day.
And it sounds like you may have “accidentally” ruined that tie on purpose to me, Rick. Any chance there was something subliminal goin’ on there?
@Jacob – Great to see ya here, and welcome to the Middle Zone!
I realize there are two schools of thought on ties and similar clothing issues. But you can’t deny it makes a difference… to some. Seems like it might be wise to be prepared. Besides, it’s something I enjoy anyway.
And I appreciate your kind words; thanks for dropping by!
Oh yes, dressing the part is important (she said, sitting at her PC in jeans and a t-shirt).
The staff (doctors and receptionists) at my doctor’s surgery launched into a chorus of ‘oh no, not already … no, thanks, not today … not again’ when I arrived for a doctor’s appointment first thing in the morning, in my business clothes. They thought I must be selling something …
Ties are still the norm for schools (at least age 11-18) here in the UK, though my childrens’ school is eliminating them in September because the amount of time the staff spend trying to get children to wear the ties properly is eating into teaching time and spoiling the relationship between staff and children. I’d much rather the children learnt stuff other than how to evade the tie-patrol!
Lucys last blog post..Kissing and Ketchup Don’t Mix
Howdy, Lucy! Yeah, I wondered if things were similar in the UK. I don’t suppose the Queen is giving her receptions in flip-flops yet?
I guess that’s what makes the contrarian in me stand up – that it’s no longer the de facto standard anymore, at least in our business. What the heck; I’m ornery that way I guess.