Out of Order
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Warning: This post contains an image of a strictly *ahem* manly nature. Remember, you’ve been warned!
In a men’s room - in a building that shall remain nameless - is a wall-mounted, um, device, wrapped in plastic with the sign “out of order” mounted on the wall above it.
Should I be insulted?
On the one hand, it seems as though the sign would have been enough. I mean, does the maintenance staff think we men can’t read? Or even worse, that we’d ignore their warning and use it anyway because we’re, you know, men - and by definition, gross and disgusting?
On the other hand, maybe that’s exactly what they thought. Perhaps somebody said to themselves, “You know, men will not be deterred by this sign. We must make doubly sure nobody, but nobody, uses this thing!” Or something.
But if the plastic was deemed necessary by the applicable powers-that-be - well then, why do we need the sign? One would think the plastic would be enough of a deterrent, don’cha think?
And what’s the meaning of “out of order”, anyway?
Does it mean, for instance, not working? That would be the most obvious inference. Busted. Kaput. Broken. Failed. In other words, it’s of no use to you, Bubba; go use a different one! So how hard is that to understand, I ask you?
Then again, maybe the phrase, “out of order” means something else - as in not in the right order. So maybe they’re trying to tell me to use, if possible, a different one first. Then I can use this one. Could that be it? Hmmm…
Then there’s the legal term. When you’re told by the judge (usually accompanied by an angry banging of the gavel) that you’re “out of order” - well, it usually means “you shouldn’t have oughtta said that, ya big cotton-pickin’ galoot!” But how would that apply here? I’m not sure.
Don’cha just wish folks would say what they mean? Then there wouldn’t be so much confusion in the world. Just imagine the ramifications! Tax forms you could understand, job applications with no mysterious questions, no more innuendo, euphemisms, or obfuscation! Oh, what a world that would be!
Is it just me, or am I simply, er, out of order?
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19 responses so far
Middle Zone Musings is a comfortable place to stop, have a cup of coffee, swap a few stories and share practical ideas for the real world. I don't ask for much, just a bit of your brain every now and then. Have a seat, take a load off, and relax...
Based on my recent experience, I must disagree with you, Robert. I’ve lately been frequenting tollway oases, rest stops, gas stations, airports, and diners. It seems that “facilities” that are clearly out of order are NOT deterring people from using them. I’ll spare the details, but I’m considering carrying large plastic bags in my briefcase.
All I can say, Brad, is… ewwwwwww!
You have surpassed yourself with this one!
I think the sign does have a function. If you just had the plastic mightn’t some enterprising soul think to themselves ‘oh, I need to unwrap this first’ (or maybe just go ahead and use it anyway?)
Joanna
Robert and Brad,
maybe there should be a sign saying “Don’t use this! Will be repaired soon, but up to then: don’t use it!”
By the way, I’ve just learnt a new word: obfuscation. Must admit I’ve never ever heard it or seen it written down!
Ulla
Ulla Hennigs last blog post..Looking across the Water
Maybe they are looking out for the population that can’t read?
@Joanna - I’ll take that as a complement! Unfortunately, I’m afraid you’re probably right. *sigh* We men have such a bad rap!
Oh, you might appreciate this post of mine : http://tinyurl.com/5t2gf7 about the state of Mexico and its talking urinals…
@Ulla - I used to have a bumper sticker on my car that read, “eschew obfuscation”. Always enjoyed the puzzled looks on people as they passed me…
Howdy, Vicky! Hey, you may have a point there! Or maybe the plastic is for the blind?
@Christa - I read that story, and all I can do is shake my head… Sounds like one of those ideas that falls into the “sounded good on paper” category, you know?
Thanks for digging that up - I got a good laugh!
ROFL! You know maybe they wrapped it in plastic after the sign was posted and some poor soul ignored it. Have you ever watched someone try to use something that was clearly broken? It is hysterical, almost as if they don’t believe the sign is true. So, er, lucky for you men that it was covered sparing the patrons from what could have been an unfortunate experience in there. Hee, hee, hee, hee. Great post Robert!
I wonder if it’s related to this:
You can tell someone there are 10 billion stars in the universe, and they’ll believe you; but put up a sign that says “wet paint” and they’ll still have to touch it to be sure.
Maybe it means that they have no more order on hand. If you use this urinal, the normal laws of gravity will not apply and it will all float up into your face. The plastic is there to contain this little pocket of chaos from spreading.
Ulla & Robert, not to sidetrack this conversation, but “obfuscation” is an interesting word, in that it does what it describes. What I mean is, anyone who uses the word “obfuscate” in a sentence is obfuscating the idea s/he is trying to convey. This is precisely why one should eschew obfuscation, as has already been observed.
Brad Shorrs last blog post..Email - When Branding and Efficiency Collide
@Chip - No doubt, then, removing the plastic would end all life and the universe as we know it. Food for thought, anyway. :-\
@Brad - “…not to sidetrack this conversation…”
Oh, c’mon, Brad - since when did a post, uh, post conversation ever stay on track - or need to?
You’re right, of course - and that’s why I love the word so much. Especially the slight frown people get when they’re busily racking their brains for a definition. (Unlike other words, this one doesn’t suggest a meaning from its sound.)
Robert,
The idiom certainly is a fascinating invention — as is satire!
Hilarious post!
Jeanne
Hey, isn’t an idiom a man who can’t distinguish between reality and a hole in the wall? Or is that out of order too?
Definitely one or the other!