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I know you’re sitting on pins and needles (and that’s gotta hurt!) waiting for the Let’s Be Brief contest results to come in, so as a treat for all you wonderful folks who worked so hard (or was it hardly worked?) on your six-word stories, I’ll post one of the many exciting (!) regular features here at the Zone.

That’s right, ladies and gentlemen – the time has come for another exciting edition of… OOB!

Small Appliances Dept.

Okay, Christmas is long over, but say you’re still searching for a gift for that special someone, and you’ve beaten your brains out trying to find that elusive “something different”. Well, search no more – I may have stumbled across the ultimate… blender. That’s right, a blender. Ah, but this is no ordinary blender! I found it listed in “20 gadgets we love” at, of all places, the Scientific American website. The description below is hilarious enough, but you just gotta see the video of this thing in action – definitely worth 1000 words!

Relax to Win Dept.

If you typically stay away from fast-action games (like… well, practically every game there is) because you don’t enjoy the pressure, then this may be your venue (or at least it would have if you could go back in time). Back on December 28 & 29, the Science Museum in London sponsored a sleepy quiet snooze fest relaxing game of Mindball, a game with an interesting new twist: it uses brainwaves to control the action, and you must be relaxed to play it well.

“Mindball is a game in which two players compete to push a ball over the other’s goal line. But there’s a catch–this is a game of mind over matter and the way to win is to relax. You can watch a video (WMV format 1.8MB) of a Mindball game in action here.” The only thing is… (and I’m sorry to be the one to have to think of this) I wonder if they’ll need a drug test for the winners…

Dept. of Transportation

A story about the biggest traffic headaches in the US in 2006 tells of one that occurred back in July when a truck traveling through the Bronx (New York City) overturned and a Tomahawk missile fell out. Oops! (Man, I hate it when that happens.) But not to worry; the story reports that “The weapon did not have a warhead and all ended safely…”

For those of you who don’t know (or perhaps are actually from the planet Mars), you need to understand that for better or worse, the Bronx enjoys a certain, uh, reputation as being a “tough” neighborhood. (It reminds me of the joke Johnny Carson told once about a bar that was so tough that they searched you for guns; if you didn’t have one, they gave you one!) So considering how most of the rest of the country thinks of the Bronx, I wonder – if it had gone off, would anyone have noticed?

Long Arm of the Law Dept.

If you’re a law student, this one’s for you! Now that the end-of-year exams are over, and you find yourself wondering how law school professors went about determining how to grade said exams, you can stop wondering now.

I give you the definitive A Guide to Grading Exams from Daniel J. Solove, Associate Professor of Law at the George Washington University Law School. What better authority could you want? I won’t give the technique away, but here’s a hint: think of a staircase, a stack of papers, the laws of physics, and… gravity.

“Elevate Me!” Dept.

Look! Up in the sky! It’s not a bird, nor a plane, nor some over muscled bonzo in a spandex suit. Nope, it’s… dinner! Yep, it’s Dinner in the Sky, the latest thing in that ever-advancing quest for the most memorable dinner location ever. How does dinner for 22, plus a chef, waiter, and an entertainer sound? (Let’s hope the entertainer is REALLY good, because the consequences of bombing THIS set could be, well, look out below!)

For a cool 7,900 euros you can have your dinner suspended from a crane at 40 to 50 meters (that’s more than 120 to 150 feet for us metrically-challenged Americans) above the common rabble. In fact, for additional charges you can have several suspended platforms: one for dining, one for the band, one for that new car being awarded for “best attendance” at work…

Saving Your Bacon Dept.

Okay, this one is almost a “gimmie”. When a British farm worker was attacked by a herd of pigs, it was the first time in anyone’s memory this had happened. But what the story doesn’t say is what might have prompted the angry pigs to become so ornery they would attack the very man who brings them their dinner every day. (After all, anyone who brings me dinner automatically goes on my Christmas card list.) But (and you knew this was coming, didn’t you?) I have a theory.

I think the last line in the story provides the clue: “The police spokesman said it was the first time he had heard of a pig attack in the area — but it was unlikely the herd would be put down.”

A wise move, no doubt, but it begs the question, doesn’t it? Just how long has this farmer been ‘putting down’ his pigs, anyway? Could they have finally gotten fed up with being called… pigs?

Home Decorating Dept.

And rounding off this edition of OOB is the latest thing for home remodeling enthusiasts – the aquarium toilet. Words can hardly describe this beauty. The manufacturer guarantees at least one thing – people will be talking about it when they leave. Well, I guess so, but I bet that’s not ALL they’re talking about (if you know what I mean). It raises “cleaning the toilet” to an entirely new level, don’t you think?

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Shameless Self-Promotion Dept.

And finally, for those of you who might be new to the Middle Zone, or unfamiliar with the concept of OOB (it stands for “Out Of the Box” and rhymes, appropriately enough, with “boob”), you might want to check out the earlier episodes (#1 will explain it all):

OOB #1
OOB #2
OOB #3
OOB #4
OOB #5
OOB #6
OOB #7

Then again, you might not (but remember, one day you will be assimilated).

You know, it would just be absolutely finer than a frogs hair if you would subscribe to my RSS feed!