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Well, folks, once again the sun sets on yet another exciting month here at the Zone. Thrills, chills, spills – and that’s just what’s happening at MY desk! Just imagine what else has been going on out there…

That’s right, ladies and gentlemen – the time has come for another exciting edition of… OOB!

Note from the Proprietor: Oddly enough, there didn’t seem to be that much unusual stuff come across my desk this month. Probably not paying attention. But what the heck, here’s a few items that might tickle your fancy.

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Dept. of Retirement Planning

(A tip o’ the hat to Dennis McMullin, a fellow Bored Member and regular contributor to OOB.)

Ever heard the old joke about engineers? You know, that they never grow old, they just lose their bearings. Bwa-ha-ha-ha – er, sorry.

Hey, I’ve always believed that there’s got to be something better to do upon retirement than taking up golf (sound of avid golf fans fainting everywhere). I mean, why spend all your money and new-found time just whacking a silly little ball all over the place? And you know; all that walking and everything – why, it’s enough to wear me out just thinking about it!

Hmmm… what to do, what to do…?

Well folks, have I got an amazing source of inspiration for you! Here is a great example of what happens when engineers get bored (link to a flash video clip that is absolutely awe-inspiring!)

And, a word of warning to the spouses of engineers (this one’s for you, Liz!): if you ever hear the phrase, “What’s the worst that could happen?” – well, take my advice: Run! Run for your lives!

Dept. of Transportation

Psst! Hey Buddy! Wanna buy a bridge?

Man, I can’t tell you how many times I’ve heard that one! But now, for a limited time only, you may just have your chance to own your very own big pile of rusty scrap metal bridge!

The town of Soldiers Grove, Wisconsin, is offering a hundred-year-old bridge for sale (click on the photo to see a similar type bridge) for the incredible year-end, no-holds-barred, blowout sales price of just $1. Yep, you read it right, folks! Only $1 for the opportunity of a lifetime!

‘Course, there’s a small, er, catch: you, um, have to remove it. Hey, but think of what you could get for scrap metal value! OR – maybe it’ll look good in the backyard…?

Dept. of Corrections

Well, you can’t say they didn’t at least try to fill a new niche.

Hallmark (yes, that Hallmark!) created a new line of cards for the, um, er, (let’s see… how can we put this delicately?) “recently incarcerated”. That’s “new prisoners” in layman’s terms. (Although – what exactly is a layman, anyway? One who lays? And why are we always using their terms?)

Anyhoo – criminal defense lawyer Terry Cheatham (who says lawyers don’t care?) developed the new line of cards. The story goes on to say:

Among her selections are cards reading “Sorry to hear about your arrest,” and “Honestly, I never knew anyone who was arrested before,” and, simply, “Not You!” A remorseful correspondent could choose: “I know that I have not visited you. But I still care about you … When are you getting out, anyway?”

Hey, I think that last one really captures the true essence, the genuine spirit – the, uh, je ne se quoi (which is a French word that roughly means Call me when you get out) of the thing, don’t you?

Oh, by the way… the cards are, um, not selling too well. What. A. Big. Surprise.

Dept. of Self-Promotion

Did you know there’s a new installment of OOB every month? Yes indeedy! So if you’re interested in an even bigger helping of the strange, the unusual, and the just plain whacko (that is, as opposed to extraordinary whacko), you might want to check out previous editions.

Hey, it’s easy! Just go to the categories list over there on the left and click on “OOB“. In fact, I double-dog dare you! (But don’t say I didn’t warn you.)

(By the way, if you have any great suggestions for future OOB items, by all means drop me a line at rhruzek@sbcglobal.net. If I use one of your suggestions, to demonstrate my undying gratitude, I’ll mention your name and link to you.)

You know, it would just be absolutely finer than a frogs hair if you would subscribe to my RSS feed!