Hey, even though we’re in the midst of serious change… it never hurts to stop every now and then to smell the onions!

So once again the sun sets on yet another exciting month here at the Zone. Thrills, chills, spills – and that’s just what happened at MY desk! Just imagine what else has been going on out there…

That’s right, ladies and gentlemen – it’s that time of the month once again (no, silly, not that time of the month); the time has come for another exciting edition of… OOB!

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How to Know Your Wife is Trying to Kill You Dept.

Man, talk about your heavy sleepers! A Florida man woke up with a headache so severe he asked his, ahem, darling loving wife to drive him to the hospital. Naturally, they popped him into an X-ray machine which revealed (much to the man’s surprise)… a bullet in the head? Yikes! (Click on photo for larger view… if you’re not squeemish!)

Anyhoo, in a brilliantly-planned move obviously planned to avert suspicion, the man’s wife immediately jumped up and fled the hospital in a panic. But not to worry, folks, she didn’t get far. A quick search of their home revealed the weapon, whereupon she confessed (i.e., she cracked like an egg), claiming she “accidentally” shot him while he was sleeping. Um… yeah, sure, whatever.

Fame and Fortune Dept.

Have you ever wanted to be so rich and famous that you made it to the cover of Wired Magazine? Well, have I got a deal for you! Now, you don’t even have to be rich OR famous to get there – you can put yourself, along with the headlines of your choice on a Wired Magazine cover all by yourself! Give it a try! (Click on photo for larger view… but send the children out of the room first!)

Amaze your friends! Impress your co-workers! Play a joke on a family member! To be the first on your block to have their mug on a magazine cover, have the digital photo of your choice ready, then go to this site. But please… be nice. (Thanks to my buddy Dennis McMullin)

Blame it on Global Warming Dept.

It used to be the atom bomb. Then it was the internet. Now all manner of evil things are being blamed on the latest big hot button issue: global warming (sound of terrified scream). Yep, next time you see a stray cat wandering the streets, blame it on global warming. Too many Scottish grey seals? Global warming (once again, with feeling – terrified scream). Not enough prostitutes in Bulgaria? Yep, you guessed it: global warming (sound of – well, you know).

Hey, why not? Personally, I think the phenomenon called global warming is essentially a no-win debate. I mean, for every proponent on one side, no matter what their credentials, there are always equal or better on the other.

But that’s not even the point. Maybe it’s just me, but doesn’t it seem pretty silly to blame everything on it?

Dept. of Stupidity

A 20-year-old Estonian blind man was arrested while driving his car the other day. Yep, you read it right; he’s blind. Not only that, but this is the second time it’s happened! The story goes on to say that not only was he drunk, but there were three people in the car giving him directions. So who’s the most stupid person in this story?

Now, of course, the police want to confiscate his car. Gee, ya think? Oh, the inhumanity! (Click on photo for larger view.)

What’s My Lion? Dept.

Further proof that if there’s something you like doing; something that really gives you a thrill, whatever you do, don’t try to make a business of it! That giant whooshing noise you hear might just be all the fun being sucked out of it.

A fellow named Scott Mueller, of Baraboo, Wisconsin (wouldn’t you just love to be able to say, “I’m from Baraboo?” I just love that name!) is finding that out the hard way after finally achieving his childhood dream of being a lion-tamer. The worst and hardest part of the job is (sound of drum roll) the paperwork! Um, is anybody out there surprised?

Seems there are about a million forms and documents involved in the day-to-day mundane activities of such a profession. I mean, you got your dangerous predator forms, your travel document forms, your health code forms (for the lion, not for him; one can assume that if a lion-tamer is still upright, he must be OK) for practically every county he has to pass through, etc., etc., ad nauseum.

But before you go “Aww, that’s a shame”, I have to tell you that in my humble opinion, when it comes to complaints Scott hasn’t got a leg to stand on (and no, it’s not ‘cause it got eaten!) Wanna know what he used to do? He was, er, um, in the insurance business.

Dept. of Self-Promotion

Did you know there’s a new installment of OOB every month? Yes indeedy! So if you’re interested in an even bigger helping of the strange, the unusual, and the just plain whacko (that is, as opposed to extraordinary whacko), you might want to check out previous editions.

Hey, it’s easy! Just go to the categories list over there on the left and click on “OOB“. In fact, I double-dog dare you! (But don’t say I didn’t warn you.)

(By the way, if you have any great suggestions for future OOB items, by all means drop me a line at rhruzek@sbcglobal.net. If I use one of your suggestions, I’ll mention your name and link to you.)