OOB #10
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Since today is the end of the work week, and March is about over as well (and it’s a day ending in “y”), it looks like a good time to post something totally frivolous. (Of course, pretty much every day is like that here at the Middle Zone, but what the hey.)
That’s right, ladies and gentlemen – the time has come for another exciting edition of… OOB!
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Dept. of Statistical Anomalies
Michael DeWitt points out at Spooky Action that statistical analysis has demonstrated a disturbing correlation between the increase in ice cream consumption and (are you ready for this?) a corresponding increase in violent crimes, including murder and rape.
“Hundreds of statisticians have examined this evidence and not one has disputed the validity of these statistics!”
I guess we should accept his authority on this since he lives in probably one of the consistently hottest places in the United States: Phoenix, Arizona. (Favorite quote heard on the street: “I don’t care WHAT they say about “wet heat” or “dry heat” – it’s punkin’ HOT out there!”)
Conclusion? Well, that’s easy. If you see anyone eating ice cream – Run! Run for your life!
Home Improvement Dept.
If you’re doing a little remodeling in the bathroom, you might be interested in this new line of tiles. Artist Jim Termeer recently created bathroom tiles with designs derived from satellite imagery of major world highway interchanges. Now that’s what I call “different”!
When viewed as art, highway interchanges turn out to be quite beautiful. On the other hand, when viewing these things from “inside the art”, so to speak, you get a different perspective. And after seeing how amazingly complex these things are, the thought that these interchanges are actually real places full of cars all trying to figure out how to successfully get from point A to point B is really scary!
Lost and Found Dept.
Alert the media! I think we found him.
Mathematics Dept.; Anyone for Pi? Division
In case you’re ever at a loss to know the value of pi, you can easily determine it yourself, and without a calculator! That’s right, folks, all you really need are… (may I have a drum roll please) frozen hot dogs!
Pretty simple, really, and according to the article, and it really does work. ‘Course, you have to repeat the process, like, 1000 times!
Let’s see now, assume setup time takes about 30 minutes. Now, if tossing a package of a dozen dogs one at a time takes about 30 seconds, recording the results takes about a minute, picking the dogs up and getting ready to start should only take another 30 seconds. Oh, and cleaning up the mess on the floor should take another hour. (Men, make sure the wife is out for the day. Ladies - surely you wouldn’t be caught dead doing this, would you? Yes, I know - don’t call you Shirley. Unless your name IS Shirley.)
I figure you can fling a dog 1,000 times and have your answer in about, oh, 4 hours and 16 minutes. Sheesh! I could drive to the Wal-Mart in the next town over, buy a calculator, push a few numbers, and have my answer in a lot less time. But then again, it wouldn’t be nearly as much fun…
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Shameless Self-Promotion Dept.
And finally, for those of you who are perhaps new to this site, or unfamiliar with the concept of OOB (it stands for “Out Of the Box” and rhymes, appropriately enough, with “boob”), you might want to check out the earlier episodes (#1 will explain it all) …
OOB #1
OOB #2
OOB #3
OOB #4
OOB #5
OOB #6
OOB #7
OOB #8
OOB #9
… and then again, you might not. (But remember, you will be assimilated!)
You know, it would just be absolutely finer than a frogs hair if you would subscribe to my RSS feed!
11 responses so far
Middle Zone Musings is a comfortable place to stop, have a cup of coffee and exchange ideas, big or small, with applications in the real world. I don't ask for much, just a bit of your brain every now and then. Have a seat, take a load off, and relax...
Thanks for including me! Now every time my kids eat ice cream and give me a wry smile, I get very scared!
As for pi, why not just divide 355 by 113. That gets you very close. Of course, the Indiana legislature simplified things many years ago when they passes a resolution stating the value as 22/7.
And having been to Houston on many occasions, I know the difference between a wet heat and a dry heat is real and significant! At least here I don’t feel like I need to take a shower after walking from the house to my car.
Actually, Mike, when ANY kids look at me, I get scared! I mean, you never know…
Oh, sure, your method of calculating pi might work, but you have to admit, it would certainly be more fun to do it by tossing frozen hot dogs around, don’t you think? Besides, you can always say you’re testing chaos theory as well - two birds with one stone, you know.
I don’t know, it seems when you get above 115F, your body isn’t going to care about the difference between boiling or baking. I recall living in Dallas once when it hit 117 in the shade - definitely like an oven! Besides, even if it’s dry heat, I’m instantly sweating anyway.
But other than that, I had a nice time in Phoenix. (But I was only there one weekend.)
My upstairs A/C blew out the week we hit 118. I, descendant of sweaty Belgian immigrants, survived. But walking outside in the middle of the afternoon does feel like a stroll next to a blast furnace.
When I lived in Austin, every day during the summer I prayed that the forecast would be over 100 degrees, because if they said it was going to be 95, that referred to both air temp and humidity. Hot dogs tossed in those conditions land perfectly cooked!
Am I the only one who knows that violent crime is DECREASING, not increasing? So how could there possibly be a correlation from an increase in ice cream consumption and the “increase” of violent crime? If anything, the increase in ice cream consumption is leading to a decrease in violent crime, and should be encouraged at all costs.
Also, global warming is caused by pirates.
Errr…I messed that up. Global warming is caused by the DECLINING NUMBER of pirates. There’s a direct correlation!
Gee, Mike, seems to me if you’re going to pray for something, why not pray for the temp to be, I dunno, 75!
Or… you can have buns ready for the dogs and have a party for your closest 1000 friends!
Hey, we lived in Austin for a while, too! Back in the early 90’s. Summer temps were in the early 100’s.
Sam, I don’t think the report was that crime was increasing, it was that it increasingly correlated with ice cream consumption. Now, if you tie to pirates… hmmm.
So if you see PIRATES eating ice cream, you better make sure you have your will made out?
Were the violent crimes committed while eating ice cream or because someone tried to take someones ice cream?
I think they need to spend another billion dollars narrowing that shit down.
Evel, you got a billion dollars lying around? I’d be happy to research this further!
Sorry, spent my last billion on ice cream.
In that case I think I’ll take my own advice and run for my life!