Frameworks (by which I mean frames of reference) can certainly be useful critters, don’t you think? They help us interpret the world, interact with other people, and help eliminate the need for constant reevaluation of situations we’ve experienced before.

But what if you have a situation that doesn’t fit any of your frameworks? And what the heck does it have to do with the somewhat rarified and esoteric subject of lawn care? (Hey! That word-a-day toilet paper really comes in handy, don’t you think?)

Last week, in Scene of the Crime, I mentioned a house we owned in Greenville, South Carolina. I can relate quite a few adventures we had in that house (and probably will, sooner or later), but allow me to share how we met our neighbor across the street.

We had only been in the house a grand total of 5 days, but knew it was time to take care of that steadily lengthening grass. Easier said than done, of course, since we lived in a condo in Houston and hadn’t needed a lawn mower in 15 years. So I resolved to go out that weekend and buy one.

Anyway, I came home from work and noticed the yard had been cut. No biggie; I just figured Mrs. MZM had paid someone’s kid, or a lawn service to do it. Well… close, but no cigar chewing gum (I don’t smoke). What actually happened was our neighbor across the street had come over that afternoon, unannounced, and without saying a word, just mowed it!

Now, to our city-bred sensibilities this seemed a bit… odd. I mean, what kind of whack job had we encountered, and why would he do that? We didn’t know him; in fact we’d only seen him twice since we’d moved in. So we began to brainstorm (sound of lightning and thunder) various reasons why he might have done such a thing. Here’s the top three things from our impromptu list:

1. It was just his way of saying, “Welcome to the neighborhood, folks!” Was he one of those crazy people that just love doing things for others, and this was his way of letting us know it? (Gotta watch out for people like that, you know.)
2. Maybe he knew we hadn’t had time to buy a lawn mower and thought he’d just lend us a hand? Don’t know how he’d know that (unless he’d scrutinized our stuff as the movers unloaded it – a somewhat plausible scenario). If so, although unexpected, it was a right neighborly thing to do!
3. Or was it his way of saying, “OK, you’ve had 5 days to mow your stupid lawn. If you won’t do it, I will!” (Notice how, given enough time, paranoia starts to creep in.)

So which was it? Actually, it turned out to be none of the above. One thing I will say, though – as a way to meet the new neighbors on your street, this one ranks right up there on the creativity scale!

Anyway, when we walked over that afternoon to thank him, we met two of the nicest people we’d ever want to meet. She was a sweet older lady who loaded us up with several jars of homemade peach preserves before she’d let us leave the house. He was an older retired gentleman, whose hobby (and sole existence in life), it seemed, was (you guessed it) lawns.

He proudly showed me around his humongous garage. I’m tellin’ ya, this guy had practically every lawn tool known to man (although I’m pretty sure he didn’t have this nifty John Deere Chopper!) Oh, there was the usual mower and edger, of course, but we’re barely scratching the surface here.

Let’s see… there were several types of lawn rollers (for making a nice, even surface), an aerator (a spikey thing that pokes holes in the ground to let the ground, you know, breathe), along with various and sundry other devices too numerous to mention.

There was even one powered device that looked like a lawn mower but wasn’t; it thinned out grass roots so the thatch (the mat of roots down there below the grass blades) wouldn’t get too thick (it just wouldn’t do, don’cha know, to have too unruly a thatch).

Naturally, his lawn looked like it had been transplanted from a championship golf course. And when the leaves started falling, he was out there scooping them up with the lawn vacuum. Once that job was done, any further leaves that so dared to fall upon his pristine expanse of green heaven were, within minutes (and I kid you not!), picked up with a broom and dustpan! I’m here to tell ya, this fellow was serious about his lawn!

Finally, we figured it out.

He wasn’t trying to tell us something, make a statement, or hint around – no, he just thought everyone should think the same way he did about their lawns, too! When he offered the use of his lawn equipment, he wasn’t telling me to mow the lawn, he was hoping he’d found a kindred spirit in lawn care.

He was trying to fit me into his framework of the “way things should be”.

Alas, I’m afraid I probably turned out to be a huge disappointment when it came to lawn care. I made no attempts to clear up those bare spots over by the garage, to seed and fertilize it to golf-course readiness, or go for first prize in the neighborhood “Lawn of the Month” competition. Nope, I was happy just to cut and edge as needed. Oh, and uh, rake (that other story).

Now don’t get me wrong; I’m not saying that all frameworks are bad – not at all. As I pointed out earlier, frameworks are important as a way of interpreting the world around us. But when we encounter something new and completely outside our experience (like when a neighbor mows your yard) then the framework may not be all that much help.

See, where we get into trouble is when we start expecting all situations to somehow fit into the frameworks we’re already familiar with. Until they, er, don’t (sound of heartfelt sobbing). So what to do, what to do? The most obvious thing, of course, is build yourself a new framework.

“OK, smart guy,” you’re probably thinking, “so how do I do that?”

Well, first of all, thanks for the “smart guy” moniker; I can use all the affirmation I can get! But to, um, answer your question… well, you want my advice? (Which you surely recognize as a rhetorical question, since I’m, you know, going to tell you anyway!)

OK, here’s the key to forming new frameworks in just one word: Relax.

See, before (and while) you build and integrate a new framework, you’re going to need time. It doesn’t happen overnight, you know, so don’t try to force it to happen fast. (Not that it can’t happen quickly, mind you; I’m just sayin’.)

Ah, time! You know it wounds all heels, don’t you? Anyway, I suggest you take the extra time you now have (right?) to relax a bit and expand your perceptions outward, beyond the new situation. That’s right; like it or not, the old saw about getting “out of the box” applies here.

That’s because frameworks are by definition a method of compartmentalizing (and thus narrowing) your focus down to essentials. It’s a way of excluding the non-pertinent from the pertinent.

But if you’re in a new situation, how do you really know what’s important and what’s not? Might you be excluding something, some bit of information, you wouldn’t normally consider?

All I’m saying is, give yourself the time to consider things from a bigger point of view. Hey, you never know; your new, improved framework could become all that much stronger, more comprehensive, and probably more useful for the effort, don’t you think?

Am I off base here? What do you think? Where would you go from here? And what would your next move be?