Look Before You Leap
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The Olympics have been pretty inspiring, haven’t they? All that jumping, running, swinging and vaulting… especially the vaulting. I’m tellin’ ya; I break into a sweat just thinkin’ about all the training these incredible athletes put into their respective specialties.
However, the gymnastics reminded of a memorable vault I did once.
Well, it’s not quite the same kind of vault you see Olympic gymnasts perform. No, this is where you sorta leap over an obstacle, usually a wall or something, while using one or both arms as a pivot to lever yourself over. It’s an easy way to cross a relatively low barrier without having to clamber over it. One leap and you’re done - easy!
‘Course, it’s usually a good idea to know what’s on the other side of the wall…
“Go Play on the Freeway”
In the city of Houston, Loop 610 is the inner loop around town. It’s been there so long most people don’t think about it, but I remember when it was being built. In fact, when I was a kid, my friends and I used to ride our bikes on it.
(Remember all those jokes about going out and playing on the freeway? Well, we used to do that all the time. At least, until they ruined everything and opened it up to traffic. Ah well.)
Anyway, near my house the construction crews were in the process of building an overpass, and needless to say were huge piles of dirt everywhere. Although they hadn’t gotten around to the actual over-the-road part yet, some of the concrete retaining wall had already been built.
One fine day (this was during the summertime school break, so we had lots of time to explore) my friends and I strolled across the feeder road to see what was new. Like any typical road construction project, there was always plenty of cool stuff three young criminally insane hooligans teenage boys could find to keep themselves entertained.
As we approached the construction site, though, I noticed the new aforementioned retaining wall. From where we stood, we could see there was still some dirt piled up against it. In the meantime, on the other side (where the eventual concrete surface would go) dump trucks had obviously been busy building up the dirt foundation.
Charge of the Light Brigade
Since I was still, you know, young and full of energy back then (ah, sweet bird of youth! *sigh*), I naturally said to myself, “Self, I think I’ll charge up there and vault that wall!” (As you are no doubt aware, one drawback to the ol’ sweet bird of youth is a somewhat distressing inability to, er, “think things through”, if you get my meanin’.)
Anyway, I left my friends in the dust as I charged up to the wall like the Allies storming Normandy Beach. It was a sight to behold, I’ll tell ya! In the annals of history, never was there a more perfectly executed and Olympian-quality vault ever performed. It was a thing of grace and beauty, and a joy to the eye of the beholder.
I’d already determined this was to be the ultimate of all vaults, the one-hander. My eyes had already zeroed in on the proper spot to place my hand. I scanned the ground for proper foot placement, and angled my body such that I could smoothly execute the leap as I arrived at the wall. It was an amazing moment; I could literally hear the crowd roar (score: 9.5, 9.6, 9.8 - and an 8.3 from the East German judge) as my feet left the ground and let the laws of physics and gravity took over.
The Pit of Despair
Unfortunately, I had concentrated so much on the mechanics of the thing, I… well, uh, er… sorta forgot to check out what was on the other side of the wall. As luck would have it, there was nothin’ but a big hole on the other side, about 10 feet deep and maybe 15 feet wide, gaping like a giant yawning Pit of Despair.
I’m sure you’ll have no trouble picturing my face as I went from triumph to panic. Suddenly it was like being in one of those martial arts flicks, where time itself momentarily slowed to a crawl and everything is in slow motion. I quickly searched for options, but unfortunately there was only one thing I could think of: to quickly review my accumulated knowledge of the fine art of levitation.
My hand, initially just resting on the wall, immediately attempted to grip the top in a panic as I instantly brought the other hand around to do the same. Unfortunately, the wall was too wide to grip, so needless to say that didn’t work out too well. I did manage to touch the wall with my other arm on the way over, but the only reward for that effort was a largish scrape.
In the meantime, my attempt at levitation met with pretty much zero success and thus began the long, slow motion plummet to the bottom of the Pit. About the only thing I had time for was a quick scan of the landing zone: mud, a few pieces of discarded wood, and about a foot of water. I utilized the remaining 237 milliseconds or so to position my feet as best I could and -
- sound of splat -
Well, it wasn’t pretty, I’ll tell ya. When it was over, I spent the first few seconds reviewing the State of Affairs.
To my amazement, there was nothing broken, twisted or sprained; I’d landed perfectly upright and on my feet (I “stuck” the landing so beautifully it would have garnered at least a 9.692 score). That was a bit of luck because those few milliseconds of awareness had allowed me to just miss impalement on a rather sharp piece of wood. (Obviously, my team of guardian angels was working overtime that day.)
In the meantime I was standing well over knee-deep in water, my feet buried in the mud at the bottom of the depression. Added to that was the fact that I was almost completely covered in mud from the backsplash (particularly in the, er, nether regions, if you know what I mean).
Naturally, my sympathetic and supportive friends were doubled over on the ground, they were laughing so hard. So, no sympathy there. After a few seconds of supreme effort, I managed to pull my feet out of the mud (insert loud sucking sound here). After a few minutes, I somehow managed to climb out of the Pit, caked with mud and dripping wet.
Looking Before Leaping
Now, before you promptly respond with, “Hey, I would never do something goofy like that!” check out this story I ran across the other day: “… and this is me on Facebook”. Don’t worry; I’ll wait.
It’s amazing how many time folks do things like this without thinking things through, isn’t it? Like the Olympic basketball team that had themselves photographed while pulling their eyes into a slant, or Bill Clinton “not having sex with that woman”, you’d think stuff like this would hardly ever happen.
Alas, the human condition is chock full of evidence the other way, I’m afraid. All I can say is, I hope ya don’t have to experience life’s lessons more than once! It’s OK to make a mistake; hey, we all do it. No, it’s when you have to repeat a lesson that’ll kick ya in the, er, regional areas, if you know what I mean.
OK; rather than bore you with a list of obvious points about the relative, er, pitfalls of leaping before looking, let’s turn this conversation over to you guys.
When was the last time you leaped without looking first? How’d that work out for ya? Are you the type that does it on purpose? Are there positive merits of leaping without looking first? Would you care to share your own experiences here? Or, write a post about your experience and link it back here.
We’d love to hear ‘em! Hey, we’re all friends here…
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20 responses so far
Middle Zone Musings is a comfortable place to stop, have a cup of coffee, swap a few stories and share practical ideas for the real world. I don't ask for much, just a bit of your brain every now and then. Have a seat, take a load off, and relax...
Robert, I can just picture you making that jump, funny and scary at the same time. I don’t recall anything so dramatic from my own experience, but many’s the time someone’s asked me, “Brad, why did you tell the customer that? Why did you write that on the home page? My answer is usually, “It seemed like a good idea at the time.”
Brad Shorrs last blog post..The Wonderful World of Cowboy Slang
This brought back memories of the time a group of us decided it would be fun to jump out of a boat going 30 mph.
We quickly learned that when you jump out of a boat, you get pulled down from the boat wash. It’s not a fun feeling getting slammed into the water and then the prop whoosing nearby as the boat moves.
Needless to say, we never boat jumped again.
@Brad - Yeah, I’m afraid I still fall victim to the “act first, think later” syndrome too. On the other hand, you can go to far the other way and end up in “analysis paralysis”, right? Oh, the agony!
May I never have to “re-learn” this particular lesson, though!
@Karen - You know, that brings up yet another set of, er, issues. If you hit the water feet-first, you get the, um, “flossing effect” from your swimsuit. If you land head-first, well, you can kiss the suit goodbye. Either way it’s entertaining for everyone!
Robert, like your um sympathetic friends I am doubled over with laughter. *wiping tears from eyes* Wait, oh gosh, let me compose myself before I comment, ROFL… okay, wait, soon I’ll quit laughing..oh gosh… ROFL…Okay, I’ll come back I can’t stop laughing.
Karen Swims last blog post..Don’t Drink the Haterade
This is really funny. It reminds me of something I actually did this summer. Ya know, being young and full of energy still, I was sent to get something from the classroom upstairs at the church camp I was volunteering at. They were kinda in a hurry, so I ran…fast. I got the stuff from upstairs, and then on my way down, I decided to slide down the banister. I’d already done it dozens of times, but what I didn’t notice was that a kid at the bottom had clipped the rope accross the stairway that keeps people from going up there when they shouldn’t. I got about halfway down the stairs and realized that it was not going to end well at all. As much as I tried to save myself from crashing, all I could manage was to salvage my crash landing, so that I wasn’t seriously injured. I lifted my feet to go over the rope, but since I was in a hurry, I accidentally lifted them too high, and ended up going off the end of the rail horizontal and landing sprawled out on the concrete floor (near mowing down a few campers). Of course the room went almost silent and everybody’s heads turned to see what the huge thud was, and then I jumped up and kept running while the room erupted in laughter. I never slid down again without at least looking. =)
Calebs last blog post..Feedback…The Good Kind
Robert,
you sent me ROFL. I am afraid I am more the opposite. What d’you call it - analysis paralysis. Never got the courage to jump from 3 meter board, not to mention jumping any walls…
Ulla Hennigs last blog post..Seagulls fighting
@Karen S. - Yup; a fella knows when he can count on his friends for sympathy and support, don’t he? Too bad this ain’t one of those times! :-\
@Caleb - I’m tellin’ ya, Bubba; I feel your pain. When this sort of thing happens, you pretty much have to just get right back up and keep on goin’ - so I know exactly how you felt.
On the other hand, I’m glad it didn’t keep you from still taking the opportunity to slide down the bannister again! Way to go, Caleb!
@Ulla - Hey, maybe you can try little walls first, then work up to something a bit more ambitious! Only… check out the other side first!
There have indeed been some astounding and inspiring achievements in this years Olympics. Sadly they also serve to hammer home how the effects of time have robbed me of even the modest abilities that I once had.
I recently jumped a fence in a spritely fashion only to have my right knee give way as I landed on the other side. I was sent sprawling across a muddy green in front of an audience of commuters on a busy bus. Only a few short years ago that jump would have been no problem. C’est la vie….
Howdy, Beachcomber!
Yeah, I know the feeling you describe quite well. Couple that with the sad (and ever-increasing) number of brain cells that have already taken early retirement and it adds up to a pretty pathetic picture! :-\
Ah, well; as you say, c’est la vie, which I believe is French for (sound of heartfelt sobbing…)
Hey, thanks for dropping by!
Last time I leapt without looking? Moi? I’d just never do that - ever. Other than this afternoon that is. Tee hee. Yeah I’m laughing now!
Seriously though, my ‘lessons learnt’ are to do with ‘haste’ obscuring my vision. You misread that wall. I misread an email - which could have resulted in total sabotage (albeit unintentional) of a lovely, lovely idea. Fortunately, like you - there’s nothing broken. Phew.
Claire “Business Blog Angel” Raikess last blog post..Writing with confidence - project confident writing
Yup, the fickle finger of phtistic circumstances pointed your way this time, Claire! Hey, maybe there’s something to this levitation thing after all, ya think?
Cheers!
Bob, what a great metaphor to keep in mind any time you think about leaping! Strange what we might do not to be “chicken” when young.
I’ll have to mull this one over and see if something brews in my mind’s back burner.
Wonderfully exciting post, Bob. You keep us on the edge of our seats.
Robyns last blog post..Age of Conversation 2: Blogging Brainpower
Uh-oh, Robyn; I can hear the gears grinding from here!
Thanks for the kind words, Robyn. Reading your stuff always helps keep the ol’ little grey cells sharp!
Robert,
Great story! Thanks for the chuckle. Thanks also for a great example of why we shouldn’t always follow our instincts. I’ve been reading a lot of posts lately saying that’s what we should do. I believe in listening to our gut feelings but thinking about consequences before taking action. I’ve had too many “brilliant” ideas in my life that turned out to be wrong….
Jean Browman–Cheerful Monks last blog post..My Brain Is My Favorite Toy
speaking of ‘look before you leap’, i remember when i was puddle-jumping and i jumped into a 2 foot water hole that was brooding with larva and all kinds of bugs - it was disgusting :/
Jason
@Jean - You’re so right, Jean. It never hurts to take a moment and think a bit now, does it?
@Jason - All I can say is, “EWWWWWWW!” Now I have to find something to get that picture out of my mind… :-\