Guest Post - My Slapstick Moment on the Slopes by Brad Shorr
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Continuing this week’s marathon guest post session, today we have a Three Stooges moment contribution from my buddy Brad Shorr. What can I say about a fellow who volunteered to pick me up at Chicago’s O’Hare airport and drive me all the way downtown for SOBCon ‘08? I mean, is this guy whacko or what? What a guy!
Brad’s passion is sales, and he is an expert in the B2B sales and marketing world (not to mention quite the word nerd!) He is currently on a mission to help businesses take advantage of the medium of blogging (and helping those of us who typically run screaming into the night at the mere mention of the word “sales”).
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My Slapstick Moment on the Slopes
by Brad Shorr
First of all, thank you, Robert, for the opportunity to write a guest post on your blog. I always enjoy coming here for your stories and lively conversation. I feel a lot of pressure subbing for you!
Yet another story about falling down mountains
You’d think that after not one, but two stories about falling down mountains, I’d be plum out. Au contraire, I have a third! This one makes me chuckle even now, because it’s such a funny visual image, the kind of thing that belongs in a screwball comedy film or an I Love Lucy episode.
I’m in high school, at the top of an icy slope with my younger brother, a far superior skier who I had allowed to goad me into tackling a run much harder than anything I could handle. I remember the hollow, chilling feeling of being utterly trapped. Staring down the throat this impossibly steep ski run, I wondered, How the heck am I going to get out of here? I couldn’t even imagine myself back at the bottom. No way to go forward, no way to go back. (Well, not exactly, I could have taken the lift down, but I would rather have died of frostbite than suffer that humiliation.)
My brother, nonchalantly skiing around me in circles, gave me a pep talk. To this day, I’m not sure whether he sincerely thought I could handle the slope or was just eager to see some entertainment. At any rate and for whatever reason, I reluctantly pushed off and began my descent into Three Stooges hell.
Before you could say “Ski Patrol!”, I was nearly out of control, falling into the hands of gravity. Fortunately, the run was wide enough for me to sway/lurch/careen back and forth instead of rocketing off into the trees as I did in an earlier story. This time, I found myself heading straight down the center of the run, where I could now see that it would gently level out, allowing me to come to a sweet, slow stop.
This would have been good news, except for one thing. There was a ski lesson going on right at the base. Two instructors, on skis of course, were facing a line of about 12 young students, also on skis. Between the instructors and the students was a gap of about six or eight feet.
It was directly into this gap that I was heading.
All of a sudden, as the instructors were barking out instructions to the class, I came barreling right through the middle, screaming “LOOK OUT! LOOK OUT!” You could hear the clackclackclackclackclack as my right ski skied over the skis of the students. I was going too fast to see their expressions, but I could imagine. What kind of an idiot skis through the middle of a ski class? Fortunately none of them died of fright or came after me wielding a ski pole.
Talk about your slapstick moment
Sometimes life does imitate art, doesn’t? Have you ever been in a situation that really, truly belongs in a comedy show? Those are the stories that are great to tell in the bar, at the bowling alley, or playing Jarts in the backyard. If you have a slapstick moment to share, I don’t know about you, but I’d love to hear it. I’ll bet we could all use something to take the edge off the economic news, huh?
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Brad Shorr, president of Word Sell, Inc., is a marketing consultant and writer who lives near Chicago, Illinois, USA. He helps companies strengthen their online presence, engage in social media marketing, create and manage business blogs, and write compelling Web content.
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13 responses so far
Middle Zone Musings is a comfortable place to stop, have a cup of coffee, swap a few stories and share practical ideas for the real world. I don't ask for much, just a bit of your brain every now and then. Have a seat, take a load off, and relax...
[...] Robert Hruzek published my guest post on his wonderful blog, Middle Zone Musings. Hope you’ll take a [...]
Well, it was couple of days ago. We had a musical festival at the Berlin University of the Arts, and this festival was finished with a concert. Of course there was a break after the first 45 minutes, where we could have something to drink. There is a balcony outside the concert hall where we could enjoy the fresh air. I decided for a glass of prosecco and walked outside. Then I saw a colleague of mine and greeted her by happily waving my right hand - while holding on with that said hand to the full glass of prosecco. I ended up sloshing 2/3 of the drink over my blouse. Luckily it was prosecco and not red wine - I would have looked like having been attacked with a knife. First I was feeling a bit ashamed - what clumsy person I am - but then I was able to laugh about me.
Ulla Hennigs last blog post..The Colours of Summer
Brad, LOL! I can not only imagine the looks on their faces but probably a few of the verbal expressions that were used! Well, at least you didn’t break anything (or anyone)! As for me, my life is a constant slapstick comedy. In fact on the days when I don’t do something screwball I actually applaud myself! Thanks for the mid-week laughter Brad!
Karen Swims last blog post..In the Zone
Ulla, Thanks for sharing your story. Says a lot about you that you can laugh at yourself. It is an extremely funny image - I hope your colleague enjoyed it as well.
Karen, Your screwball comedy life is a gift (curse?) but it must keep things interesting. But then again maybe it’s not that your life is screwbally, but that you appreciate the humor in everyday life. That is definitely a gift!
Brad Shorrs last blog post..Guest Post on Middle Zone Musings
Brad, I was terrified of skiing before I read your stories. There’s no chance I’ll ever try it again now!
I did go on to the slopes once (well the flat bit really, but that was hard enough to stay upright) for a lesson once… and would definitely have died of fright if some lunatic had come flying through yelling “get out of the way!”
I’m wondering what your brother said after watching your display?
Joanna
Joanna Youngs last blog post..A Non-Expert Moves From Typepad to Wordpress: Part 1
Hi Joanna, My advice - skip the skiing and go straight for the ski lodge. I think you’d find that to be a wonderfully cozy writing environment. Unfortunately, I can’t remember what my brother said afterwards. The whole thing was a blur. Whatever he said did not inspire me to do any more skiing!
Brad Shorrs last blog post..Guest Post on Middle Zone Musings
Yet another great story, Brad… You’re right, it sounds like your experience came straight off of a Three Stooges episode. Thank goodness you didn’t get critically injured, and that you could still manage to chuckle at yourself!
Thank you for sharing another episode of your life! Have a wonderful day!
Lisa
Lisas last blog post..Invigorate Your Writing - the Figurative Way!
Thanks Lisa. My attitude might be a result of having watched The Three Stooges hour after hour growing up. They were a family favorite!
Brad Shorrs last blog post..Guest Post on Middle Zone Musings
Holy Ski Patrol, Batman! Who was that masked man? Oh, man; I can just picture this because it nearly happened to me! (Except I didn’t, er, miss!)
Yup; Three Stooges moments happen all the time around here in the Zone. *sigh*
Luckily we can look back on events like this and laugh. Otherwise, there’d be heck to pay!
Hey, thanks for holding the fort down for me while I was away, Brad. You’re a great friend! Don’t worry; I’ll have my post for you soon! (he said…)
Hi Robert, welcome back. I’m sure I speak for all when I say we missed you! And BTW, excellent positioning of the graphics on this post. I never had any doubt.
Brad Shorrs last blog post..Proof that Images Enhance Even the Best Stories
What a story, Brad! (Glad I finally got to read it, too, now that Robert has fixed the glitch that prevented me from accessing it. Thanks, Robert!)
What I’d like to know is why a skiing class was held at the bottom of a ski slope, where, presumably, other skiers would, by sheer force of gravity, have little choice but to end up. I suppose one might assume — as the ski instructor obviously did — that anyone using that particular (more advanced) slope would possess a certain level of…shall we say, expertise? Yet, where safety is concerned — and as that ski instructor has hopefully learned through his group’s encounter with the runaway skier — one can’t really take anything for granted.
Glad everything worked out, though, and you can laugh about it today! I’d venture a guess that, like the ski instructor, you, too, have learned a few things from that death-defying stunt — a stunt that could have turned out to be no laughing matter!
Jeanne
Jeanne, What on Earth was that glitch? Sounds like Robert’s blog was out to get you personally.
What I failed to explain in my post is, the base of this particular ski run was about as wide as a football field is long. Thus, I had about 90 yards to play with but couldn’t execute the maneuver. I believe it was shortly after this experience I took up chess in earnest.
Brad Shorrs last blog post..How Useful Are Google Alerts?
Brad,
Some pesky little snippet of code apparently infiltrated your post when you uploaded it, wreaking havoc with not just my sanity but presumably that of all unsuspecting IE users (though I seem to have been the only one who complained about the problem.) All you Firefox folks did fine. (Don’t you just love alliteration?) Once informed, though, Robert came right to the rescue. (Oh, dear. Did it again. Guess I’m hooked.)
About the 100-yard wide ski run, all I can say is, “Ohhhh…that changes the picture considerably. Nevertheless, from everything I’ve read in your story — 90-yards leeway or not — I think you were very fortunate to reach the bottom in one piece! And I’m extremely glad to hear you’ve taken up chess! It’s so much safer for all concerned!
Jeanne