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Well, ladies and gentlemen, we’re about to the end of another thrilling month of potentially preposterous possibilities. So the BIG question is, how’s that been workin’ for ya? Ah, well, if you find you’re a bit short of the mark – hey, no worries, I’ve got the cure for what ails you right here. That’s right, it’s time for another rousing edition of Great Quotes.

So my friends, if you find yourself running a little low on “oomph”, and you’re looking for a bit of encouragement, inspiration, or perhaps even just a chuckle or two - well, you’ve come to the right place! Check these out:

• Read, every day, something no one else is reading. Think, every day, something no one else is thinking. Do, every day, something no one else is silly enough to do. It is bad for the mind to always be part of unanimity. – Christopher Morley
• Life is not advancement. It is growth. It does not move upward, but expands outward, in all directions. – Russell G. Alexander
• A good listener is not only popular everywhere, but after awhile he gets to know something. – Wilson Mizner
• You can’t wait for inspiration. You have to go after it with a club. – Jack London
• The most erroneous stories are those we think we know best – and therefore never scrutinize or question. – Stephen Jay Gould
• The sad truth is that excellence makes people nervous. – Shana Alexander



• The statistics on sanity are that one out of every four Americans is suffering from some form of mental illness. Think of your three best friends. If they’re OK, then it’s you. – Rita Mae Brown
• In theory there’s no difference between theory and practice. In practice, there is. – Yogi Berra
• One of the advantages to being disorderly is that one is constantly making exciting discoveries. – A. A. Milne
• The danger is not that a particular class is unfit to govern. Every class is unfit to govern. – Lord Acton
• You live and you learn. At any rate, you live. – Douglas Adams
• What if this weren’t a hypothetical question? – Unknown



• When I came back to Dublin I was court-martialed in my absence and sentenced to death in my absence, so I said they could shoot me in my absence. – Brendan Behan
• Look for the ridiculous in everything and you will find it. – Jules Reynard
• Only the mediocre are always at their best. – Jean Giraudoux
• The trouble with facts is there are so very many of them. – Samuel McChord Crothers
• Just because something doesn’t do what you planned it to do doesn’t mean it’s useless. – Thomas A. Edison



• The best defense against the atom bomb is to not be there when it goes off. – Anonymous
• Duct tape is like the force. It has a light side, a dark side, and it holds the universe together. – Carl Zwanzig
• I’m a great believer in luck, and I find that the harder I work the more I have of it. – Thomas Jefferson
• Is sloppiness in speech caused by ignorance or apathy? I don’t know and I don’t care. – William Safire
• On my income tax 1040 is says ‘Check this box if you are blind.’ I wanted to put a check mark about three inches away. – Tom Lehrer

And finally, just to give the American citizens in the audience a few words of encouragement after our annual lovefest hair-pulling ordeal Tax Month:

• The reason worry kills more people than work is that more people worry than work. – Robert Frost

You know, it would just be absolutely finer than a frogs hair if you would subscribe to my RSS feed!