Well, congratulations, everybody! You’ve already made it through 1/12^th of 2008, and you’re still kickin’! Um… you ARE still kickin’ aren’t you?

Anyhoo – since it’s that time of the month again (no, silly, not that time!), here’s a roundup of just a few of the more unusual items going on out there…

That’s right, ladies and gentlemen – the time has come for another exciting edition of… OOB!

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Postal Dept.

Well, it’s finally official. We can now finally prove the truth about the Postal Conundrum: the shorter the delivery distance, the longer the time needed to deliver.

It’s one of those, you know, facts that everyone believes, like the existence of the Tooth Fairy, the Loch Ness Monster, or that you’ll hurt yourself if you run with scissors. We know they’re real; it’s just that stuff like that isn’t that easy to document, you know?

But this time, we got documented proof that the mail in Warsaw, Poland actually travels slower than snails!

Dept. of Alcohol, Tobacco and Firearms, Part 1

Sheesh, I bet you never thought you’d live to see the day…

The police sent a 19-year old man around their small town in New York State to try and buy beer (he’s an underage undercover officer) – but nobody would do it! It was a sting operation with no takers, if you can believe that. Apparently the local vendors are getting the message.

But to me, though, the biggest irony is the name of the town – Babylon – a name synonymous with sin and debauchery. (Not that this town is guilty of that sort of thing… but still.)

Dept. of Alcohol, Tobacco and Firearms, Part 2

Then there’s the bumbling pair of Australian robbers who not only mistakenly grabbed a bag of bread (thinking it was a bag of money), but the man accidentally shot his accomplice and, er, “former” girlfriend while attempting to make it to their getaway car!

I tell ya, some days, it just doesn’t pay to get up in the morning, ya know?

Dept. of Self-Promotion

Did you know there’s a new installment of OOB every month? Yes indeedy! So if you’re interested in an even bigger helping of the strange, the unusual, and the just plain whacko (that is, as opposed to extraordinary whacko), you might want to check out previous editions.

Hey, it’s easy! Just click on that cute little Archives button up there at the top, then scroll down to categories list and click on OOB. In fact, I double-dog dare you! (But don’t say I didn’t warn you.)

(By the way, if you have any great suggestions for future OOB items, by all means drop me a line at rhruzek@sbcglobal.net. If I use one of your suggestions, to demonstrate my undying gratitude, I’ll mention your name and link to you.)

Well, folks; here we are at the end of yet another month, and you know what that means, right? Yep, it’s time for another inspiring edition of Great Quotes. I think you’ll agree they may even impart a bit of wisdom – along with a bit of fun.

So, if you find yourself searching for some encouragement, inspiration or perhaps even just a chuckle or two, you’ve come to the right place! Check these out:

• My work is a game, a very serious game. – M. C. Escher
• Despite a lack of natural ability, I did have the one element necessary to all early creativity; naïveté, that fabulous quality that keeps you from knowing just how unsuited you are for what you are about to do. – Steve Martin
• The most dangerous strategy is to jump a chasm in two leaps. – Benjamin Disraeli
• Love is an exploding cigar we willingly smoke. – Lynda Barry
• I arise in the morning torn between the desire to improve the world and a desire to enjoy the world. That makes it hard to plan the day. – E.B. White
• There is no moral precept that does not have something inconvenient about it. – Denis Diderot
• It is a profitable thing, if one is wise, to seem foolish. – Aeschylus
• About the time we think we can make ends meet, somebody moves the ends. – Herbert Hoover
• Write a wise saying and your name will live forever. – Anonymous
• The Bible tells us to love our neighbors, and also to love our enemies; probably because they are generally the same people. – G.K. Chesterton
• Our desire to act overpowers our need to understand. – Brad Powers
• Artificial Intelligence is no match for natural stupidity. – Unknown
• There is nobody so irritating as somebody with less intelligence and more sense than we have. – Don Herold
• The real art of conversation is not only to say the right thing at the right place but to leave unsaid the wrong thing at the tempting moment. – Dorothy Neville
• Abortion is advocated only by persons who have themselves been born. – Ronald Reagan
• If everything seems under control, you’re not going fast enough. – Mario Andretti
• A positive attitude may not solve all your problems, but it will annoy enough people to make it worth the effort. – Herm Albright

And as final food for thought, here’s a good one from, not the inventor of the assembly line, but the guy who really figured out how to make it work:

• You can’t build a reputation on what you are going to do. – Henry Ford

Have you been waiting for something for so long, that if it happened you’d be completely taken by surprise?

And no, I’m not talking about something as mundane as winning the lottery (Honey! We won 10 bucks!), suddenly inheriting a fortune from an unknown uncle (Yep, ol’ whatsisname was always my favorite uncle!), or some similar chance event.

No, I’m talking about things you have personally been dreaming of, or working towards, or even praying about for some time now. Maybe it’s that dream job you envisioned 10 years ago. Or, it’s achieving that lifelong goal you set for yourself a while back. Maybe it could even be that all the elements you’ve been patiently setting into place over the last (fill in amount here) days, weeks, months or years (pick one) have finally come to fruition?

In other words, Your Ship Just Came in. (Insert moment of silence while every single reader daydreams for a moment about that “thing”.)

OK, let’s just suppose for a moment that something you’ve hoped for, dreamed about, prepared for, prayed about, and even mightily wished for… has just happened.

Long Time Coming

As a matter of fact, something like that just happened to me. See, I started college in 1972, but after a couple of years, gave up on my degree. However, in 1993 (ironically enough, it was exactly fifteen years ago today!), I turned to Mrs. MZM and said words to the effect of, “I want to finally finish my engineering degree.”

To be honest, I’m not sure what prompted me to pick that particular moment to tell her. Maybe it was the fact it was my 40^th birthday. (You know what they say about “male menopause”. Mrs. MZM was just happy it wasn’t a sports car or climbing Mt. Everest.) But, I do remember what helped me decide it was time to change!

Anyway, fifteen years later (go ahead, do the math; and yep, it’s my Birthday today!), after not one but three degrees, steady progressive growth in work skills (and jobs!), and a tough, four-year period of “severe economic uncertainty” (that’s code for no income), well, here I am, looking up at this… ship… that’s suddenly grounded itself right in front of me!

So what’s the good news, you ask? See, after all of the above, my dream of becoming a consultant has finally happened! The large engineering firm I work for has a Consulting group (completely separate from the engineering group), and I switched over and became a Senior Consultant on January 14th! (Cue the band; cue the fireworks – and hey, where’s that red carpet!)

As I said, it’s been a long time coming. But, the journey has definitely been rewarding, to say the least. So for those of you who may have been, are now, or will be in the same, er, boat, I’d like to offer three points to ponder (and if you already have been in the same boat, then congratulations! And keep paddling!)

Point 1: Every goal leads to another

Interestingly enough, back in 1993 when I went back to school, the idea of becoming a consultant was not one of my goals. Rather, the idea has sortof, well, unfolded over time.

I mean, the whole point in achieving a goal is to establish you’ve got what it takes to make it, right? Why else would some fool idiot visionary climb that mountain, sail that ocean – or bring themselves to eat that first pickled pig’s foot – if they didn’t plan to go on to greater things from there?

What successful person you know has ever been satisfied with achieving just one goal? Absolutely nobody (he cried, pounding the table for emphasis)!

The reality was that achieving my goal doesn’t mean “Stop here – I’m done!” That’s because by the time I managed to achieve one, well, the next goal has already become an obvious, logical target.

Stands to reason, don’t you think? After all, when you set for yourself a Big Hairy Audacious Goal (BHAG, for short), you always need to break it down into manageable steps before you take it on. Otherwise you will probably just get discouraged and likely quit.

Well, I just did it in a kinda different (sortof reversed) way. I used the achievement of smaller goals to progressively envision bigger ones. (But then, I’ve always been something of an, er, contrarian. But I digress.)

Point 2: That next step should be a “Dilly”

You know what a Dilly is, don’t you? It’s the first (and usually, the hardest) step of your journey, task, goal, etc. – you know, your journey through life.

Unfortunately we all have a tendency to view a goal, once accomplished, as the final prize; the finish line; the end of all effort. But beware of that attitude (more on this in Point 3, below) because it ain’t! No, it’s just the platform from which you can now envision your next goal(s).

And listen to your Uncle Robert here; whatever you do, don’t make it an easy one. Nope, make it yet another BHAG! I’m here to tell ya – you don’t have to know where your final endpoint is (as if there were one); just focus on your next step and determine what it’s going to take to accomplish that. The next goal will make itself obvious, given time.

Point 3: Don’t wait; take that next step now

See, once you’ve achieved a goal (especially if it took quite a bit of effort and time), then our natural tendency is to relax, maybe maintain the status quo for a bit; perhaps even bask in the glory sense of accomplishment for awhile.

Alas, the problem is that staleness can set in pretty quickly.

Don’t wait, my friend; take that next leap now! At all costs, don’t allow yourself to relax too much (some is OK, of course). Wanna know why? Because you won’t know when you’ll have relaxed too much until it’s too late!

Point 4: This one’s all about you

OK, here’s where you have the opportunity to contribute a point or two (what the heck; gimme three or four, why don’cha?) Care to add to, dispute, modify or illustrate any of the above? What have you learned from the achievement of a BHAG? What do you know?

Note from the Proprietor: After last Friday’s post, Taking a Leap of Faith, my buddy Mike DeWitt mentioned he was looking to make one soon (er, a leap, not a post) regarding his career (see the comments).

Naturally, I automatically responded with my typical sage advice: “Close your eyes and floor it!” Now, although at first blush this may have come across as flippant, somewhat smart-alecky advice. But I promise you, it’s not.

Well, one thing led to another (I’m sure you know how that goes), and so I just had to write this post.

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Does Traffic Make You Nervous?

OK, some of you can probably relate to this.

Does driving in traffic on the freeway make you nervous? I mean, really nervous? I can tell you for a fact it certainly does Mrs. MZM. I guess it’s understandable, though. As a matter of fact, it’s probably far more preferable to be a little “on edge” about driving in traffic than, say, not giving a whoopee about it.

You’ve seen those guys, right? The aggressive, take-no-prisoners drivers who scare the bejeebers out of everyone around them – yet never seem to notice the mayhem they’re causing all around themselves.

Well, it used to be that when we merged into traffic that was, well, perhaps a tad heavy (as if there were any other kind on Houston roads!), Mrs. MZM would sometimes get so nervous that she’d start making ME nervous!

I’d start to see all the subtle signs: hand gripping the armrest, foot unconsciously looking for a brake pedal on the passenger side, etc. (At this point, you’re probably thinking, “Uh-huh. So what kind of driver are you, eh?” Hey, I promise Mrs. MZM would tell you I’m a pretty good one. And allow me to add, “No soup for you!”)

I used to joke with her (to try to calm her down, you know) by saying something along the lines of, “OK Honey, I’m about to merge here. So do what I do: Just close your eyes and floor it!”

I dunno; I never understood why that didn’t help. But I, er, digress.

Over the years, though, she’s finally solved the problem – and to my mind it’s actually proof that my advice was pretty good after all. Whenever we get to a dicey bit of traffic, she just closes her eyes until I’ve made our way through it. Thus, she’s calm, I’m calm, and in a matter of seconds it’s all over. Like I said, pretty good advice after all, eh?

Yep, I knew I was smart! That’s S-M-R-T; smart!

To Leap or Not to Leap; That is the Question

Anyhoo – years ago it occurred to me (sound of dull thud) that given the right circumstances, this may actually be pretty good career advice too.

See, when it comes to making a career decision, especially if it’s somewhat (or a lot) different from what you’re doing now; well, it’s easy to become sortof frozen in what is commonly referred to as “analysis paralysis”.

Trust me (he said, shaking his head sadly); I’ve been there; no doubt you’ve been there too.

Hey, don’t get me wrong. I’m not advocating jumping blindly into something about which you haven’t got a clue! If you ask me (and yes, I know you didn’t ask – but what the hey), doin’ that sort of thing on a regular basis is sorta like what Benjamin Disraeli once said: “The most dangerous strategy is to jump a chasm in two leaps.” Sooner or later the odds will even things out, if you know what I mean.

No, I’m a big advocate of getting all the facts before making a decision. Particularly if it’s a life-changing one like a big career move. After all, it’s a scary world out there; the thought of going out on a figurative (or even a real) limb can occasionally cause even the most stalwart of us to quake in fear.

The Real Challenge

But the problem usually isn’t from of a lack of information. Hey, if you’re ever unsure of anything, well, chances are someone’s already managed to not only do it, but their adventures are probably chronicled on the Internet! No, it’s not that.

See, where I think the problem usually lies is of a lack of experience. You know; it’s that ol’ “your results may vary” disclaimer that stomps through your head (and in mud-covered Army boots, no less): “Awright, Bubba; just because 1,000 people have done it before you, what makes you think you can make it 1,001?”

Hey, it’s easy to combat that particular feeling by learning everything you can about what you want to do. Talk to folks that are doing it now (there’s probably plenty of them around, and with the Internet, they’re only a few people away – remember the “Kevin Bacon” game?)

The solution is to arm yourself with knowledge. Yep, that’s the ticket. Once you have what you need to know safely locked up in the ol’ grey matter (or at least, you know where to find it), then all you need now is to get up off your duff and actually do something!

In fact, it sorta reminds me of yet another saying we had in the manufacturing business: “Sooner or later it comes time to shoot the engineers and start production.”

Get Ready; Get Set…

OK; let’s say you’ve got a particular something in mind. You’ve thought it through, and even done your homework. You’ve prepared yourself as best you can – you have the training, the skills, and maybe even the materials ready to go. You’re positive it’ll work (well, as sure as you can be), although you may not be sure how well. You may not even be sure how long it will take.

But there’s one thing that’s certain, and it’s that you really want to do it.

Well, if that is truly the case, my friend (and it is absolutely imperative that you’re being honest with yourself here!), then it’s time to get moving. Don’t waste any more time analyzing it to death – just go for it.

Sooner or later it’s going to be time to quit talking about it, climb on board that rocket-powered scooter and prove – not to the world, but to yourself - that you do indeed have what it takes.

Just Close your eyes and floor it!

The Arc de Triomphe in Paris (or, Arch of Triumph, to us English-speaking folks) stands in the center of an amazing place called Place de l’Étoile (which means “Star Square” – somewhat ironic since it’s actually, you know, round).

But I remember the day my family and I visited it back in 1970; it was the day we stepped out on faith.

What does visiting perhaps the second-most famous landmark in all of France have to do with faith, you ask? Well Bubba, I’m glad you asked!

The World’s Busiest Traffic Circle

See, this particular spot in Paris may be the most incredibly busy intersection in the entire continent of Europe! It’s at the intersection of no less than 12 major roads, all extremely busy in their own right. Talk about your non-stop traffic – and it ain’t slow, either!

It always makes me chuckle (sound of evil chuckle) when I see photos of the Arch – and the surrounding road is completely empty. I envision hordes of police standing just out of sight, blocking traffic for that one, great shot the postcard makers love.

Anyway, there we were, standing on the outside of the traffic circle and craning our necks to see the very top of this monument (believe me, this thing is huge). We wanted to get to the Arch, but the problem, as I mentioned, was the traffic – it was overwhelming, and it literally never stopped!

So as we’re waiting… and waiting… and still waiting for an opening (an experience not unlike waiting for your numbers to be called in the lottery), a passing Frenchman stopped and told us the secret to getting across the street.

The Secret

“Ah, the secret to crossing this avenue is easy my friends,” he told us in his delightfully French accent. “You simply must have ze faith!”

Needless to say, this advice was met with, er, somewhat blank stares. Undaunted, though, he continued.

“Whatever you do – do not look at the cars as you cross. If they see you looking at them, they will assume you will move out of their way. But if they see you are not watching them, they will get out of your way! Voilá!”

Don’t look at the cars. Right. Pretend they’re not there. Uh-huh. All the while, I’m thinkin’ to myself, “Yeah, Buddy, and I’m a gullible American tourist who just fell off the turnip truck!”

But then, to demonstrate what he meant, our impromptu guide simply stepped off the curb and strolled right across the street as though he hadn’t a care in the world! Upon arriving at the base of the Arch, he turned around and walked unconcernedly back – never once looking at the never-ending stream of cars, trucks and mopeds speeding right around him. It was awe-inspiring (and not a little frightening)!

“You see,” he laughed as he proceeded on his way, “you must have ze faith! Au revoir!” (I believe au revoir means either have a nice day, or I’m outta here before you foolish American tourists get yourselves spread all over the concrete!)

Anyway, there we were standing right on the edge of the curb, faced with the prospect of either following the advice of our now nowhere-to-be-found friend – or accepting defeat. We looked at each other for a few minutes and then said to ourselves, “What the heck – let’s go for it!”

And so we did!

It was one of the most amazing – and probably one of the scariest – things I’ve ever done! Trucks, cars, mopeds – they all made their way right around us, sometimes passing so close we could poke ‘em in the eye! Hey, this definitely puts the je back in je ne se quoi.

The weirdest part about the whole experience is that not one car screeched its tires or honked their horn; not one person screamed unintelligible curses at us – all of which I was truly expecting to happen. Every vehicle smoothly made their way around us as if we were simply just another stationary object in the road. No muss, (practically) no fuss.

After we finished viewing the Arch, we did the same thing; walked right back across the street as if we belonged there. To this day I’m still amazed at that experience! Hey, you can have your bungee jumping, rock climbing and sky diving; I’m tellin’ ya; this is life on the Edge!

Is There a Leap of Faith in Your Future?

Now granted, not everybody faces the challenge of stepping out and crossing 10 lanes of madcap traffic during the worst rush hour ever (and I wouldn’t try it in New York – those cabbies wouldn’t think twice about smearing you across the road, I’m afraid).

But still, that leap of faith confronts us more often that we may be willing to admit.

What have you been thinking about doing lately? Have you been asked (or required, or proposed) to do something that necessitates a leap of faith? Perhaps it’s a job change; or maybe a new project that’s a little (or even a lot) outside your range of experience or your comfort zone?

Having just done something of a leap of faith myself, career-wise (and no, I won’t leave you hanging; you’ll read more about it next week on January 29^th), I know it can be quite a scary thing to just go ahead and, well, do it. But hear this, I beg of you: you may surprise yourself.

Personally, I think you’re likely capable of much more than what think. (And it’s OK; most people are.) Why not at least think about it?

So the $8,492,716 question for today is this: What’s your leap of faith?

A while back, in a post titled Consider the Source (Oct. ’07), I related what is probably one of the most widely-known Bible stories of all, the tale of Jonah and the Really, Really Big Fish (probably second only to the story of Adam and Eve.)

(And by the way, The Bible is full of wonderful stories about all kinds of people and events. Whether you accept the Bible as the Word of God or just a good book, it’s truly worth your time to get familiar with it. There’s no end of life lessons to be found in its pages.)

Possibly one of the least-known stories is one from the Book of 2 Kings. To be honest, though, at first I found it to be just an “interesting little story”. But if you’ll bear with me a few minutes, I think you’ll find that there’s a remarkable truth to be learned from it.

The Lost Ax Head

The story is in Chapter 6, and relates a time when the Prophet Elisha (the august fellow pictured above), who at the time ran a school for young prophets, decided to expand his operation a bit in order to house a growing number of students. (I guess the prophet business must have been doing pretty well at the time.)

While chopping a tree, however, one of the students lost his ax head in the Jordan River. In those days, an ax head was an inordinately valuable piece of equipment. Naturally, the poor student was aghast.

Now, the Jordan is a fast-flowing and very muddy river, so jumping in and recovering it was problematical at best (not to mention the minor little detail that at the time, few people knew how to swim!) However, after asking the young fellow to point out the spot, Elisha tossed a stick in the water where it fell.

To the astonishment of the young prophet, the ax head immediately rose to the surface, and “swam” to the shore, where it was recovered with great relief.

By now you may be thinking to yourself, “Uh, say what? The prophet Elisha? Floating ax heads? What has that got to do with me?”

Well, bear with me a moment; I need to share a little story first.

On Calculus and Motivation

My quest to become an engineer was a somewhat long and, er, crooked road. In fact, when I started, I didn’t even know that’s what I wanted; I just went to college because it was expected of me. (Sadly, I had no real appreciation for what my parents did for me at the time. What can I say? I was young – and stupid.)

After about a year and a half of college, however, I decided to give up on my engineering degree and go to work (I blame it on Calculus, but in truth, it was simply a question of motivation). So naturally I got a job in engineering! (Trust me; it wasn’t on purpose. It’s just the only place I was qualified, and I didn’t want to work in construction.)

Ironically, 20 years later I realized I did indeed want to be an engineer (sound of parents saying “I told you so!”). So what to do? Well, no doubt you will agree with me that the next move was obvious: I had to go back to college.

It wasn’t a question of now wanting to be an engineer; the desire was there now. I could even visualize it; taste it; heck, I could feel it! But before I could finish the dream and accomplish the goal, well, I had to go back to the point where I had lost it. I had to finish what I’d started before being able to move forward.

Quite simply, I had to pick up where I left off.

So Where Did You Drop It?

Let’s start with some leading questions.

Are there any big plans you’ve had in the back of your mind for some time now? Dreams that still manage to stir your heart every time you think about them? Is there a B.H.A.G. (big, hairy, audacious goal) waiting for you every time you close your eyes? Is there something you just know you’ve got to accomplish in this lifetime?

Have you ever begun a B.H.A.G., but somewhere along the way, well, you just kinda ran out of steam?

If this has ever happened to you, then my friend, I know exactly how it feels! Trust me; you’re not alone! In fact, it’s probably a safe bet that nearly everyone has experienced this sort of thing at one time or another.

Now suppose you dust off that dream? Suppose you begin to think again about how exciting and great it would be to accomplish that thing you began way back when? C’mon, be honest; can’t you feel a stirring begin within your heart? Wait a minute – was that your soul jumping up and down with excitement? Can you hear it telling you go! go! go!

OK; here’s what you do. Go back to that place you were when you dropped the dream. Consider carefully what you’ve already done toward accomplishing it. Think hard about what you know now, and compare it with what you knew then. Allow the hope to well up within you and begin to visualize that thing, accomplished!

I promise you; if you’ll diligently do those things, you’ll see that dream resurface from the muddy waters of time, just like a, well, a certain ax head that fell into a muddy river. You’ll see it miraculously float to the surface and swim to the shore. Suddenly, you’ll find it’s within your power to reach out and take hold of it!

What will you do?

Hey, notice anything, er, different?

My good friend and Internet twin William Tully and I (well, OK; I watched) have been tinkering around (sound of construction noises) and have finally unveiled a totally new look for the Middle Zone (sound of crowd cheering)!

Among other things, everything has been streamlined such that the main page is pretty much all about the post. Most of the other stuff, things like the blogroll, archives, badges etc. will have their own pages. (Eventually. Although MyBlogLog will stay on the front page – I love seeing who’s recently stopped by, don’t you?)

There’s a new theme, more appropriate colors, and a nifty new header image. All of which is intended to support and enhance the already-established Middle Zone Musings “Brand”.

I think you’ll like what you see.

There are bound to be a few loose screws lying around (I mean, besides me, that is), so please bear with me as everything gets slotted into its proper place.

Feel free to look around, kick the tires, and generally explore the new digs. Also, if you have any suggestions, critiques, or ideas, by all means, leave a comment or drop me a line.

In fact, I’ll even go so far as to BEG for comments on this one! I’d like to know how it comes across to y’all.

**** UPDATE **** UPDATE ****

Hey, this is Tully. See, Bob is on his way home from work right now and he gave me access to the blog so I could get the new template setup which means, well, I’ve become all drunk with power…

The new theme is up and appears to be working. Before you ask, yes, it is stupidly graphics intense until I do some image optimization so for that, I do apologize. Now, it would seem that I need a ‘home’ link somewhere so that’s on the list, but other than that I think Bob and I (yes, he did help! Heck, even Mrs. MZM helped! See, here on MZM it’s all about family, and the value each member – whoa! sorry), um yes, I think that Bob and I got most of the major bugs. HOWEVER, if we didn’t, please drop Bob a note, or drop a comment here so we can get it all fixed up. Suggestions and comments are always welcome!

**** END UPDATE **** END UPDATE ****