That Special Time of Year

One thing about the Christmas season; around our house it lasts for quite a while.

For instance, we usually put the Christmas tree up the day after Thanksgiving. And, since my birthday is at the end of January, I always beg Mrs. MZM to leave it up until after that blessed event is over. The result: we tend to celebrate Christmas around our house for a full 1/6 of the year! Yeehaw!

Then there’s all kinds of fun stuff to do, too, such as celebrating the end of hurricane season (a very big deal down here in the Gulf Coast region of the United States!), or searching for the perfect gift for Mrs. MZM (assuming the finances allow it – something that’s not always true from year to year *sigh*). Or maybe it’s cooking up sweet goodies like, um, pumpkin bread, or even making a big pile o’ delicious Christmas tamales (don’t laugh; that’s a big tradition here in Texas).

Special seasonal events abound as well: Christmas caroling, family get-togethers, and the annual “throwing out the old year’s resolutions to make brand-new ones”. And that doesn’t’ even begin to count events with religious significance as well: Christmas pageants, candlelight services, and all the rest.

But this year – ah, this year ranks right up there at the top of our Holiday experiences! I had the chance to be a king!

King for A Day

It all started when a friend asked me to help her with their school’s chapel time. “It’s easy,” she said. “All you have to do is be one of the three Kings (also known as the Wise Men) for a few minutes.”

Well, I ask ya; how could I turn such an offer down?

I mean, what’s the downside? There’s this really kingly robe to wear, I get to swap my cowboy hat for a shiny gold crown (only temporarily, of course – or maybe I could come up with a ‘Texas’ version?), and best of all, I’m already an experienced Wise Guy! (Yup; I’m a professional – please don’t try it at home!)

Unfortunately, one of the costumes was a mite too tiny to fit the fellow who volunteered (he was a bit too broad-shouldered), so we drafted my friend’s mom to stand in. (Now ordinarily, you’d think this might raise an eyebrow or two. Luckily, though, our audience was relatively indiscriminating, consisting of mainly a herd of about 25 three- and four-year-olds.)

The skit went well. We walked in singing the first verse and chorus of “We Three Kings”. Then each of us shared a little nugget about who we were (I played the second King, Melchior) and where we were from (I’m from out East – ‘waay past Louisiana). We also talked a little about the gifts we brought for the baby Jesus (mine was frankincense – and I challenge you to explain that to a three-year-old!)

I’ll tell ya; there’s nothing like the expression of wonder on a child’s face, is there? Their collective “ooh’s” and “ah’s” when we came in was well worth the effort.

I’ll tell ya; it’s good to be the King!

But Who Should Really BE the King?

Anyway, it was a lot of fun. Sadly, though, after a few minutes we trooped out and *sigh* had to return to the Real World. As I drove home, though, I reflected a bit on what it means to be a King. After all, when you get right down to it, that’s quite a job description, y’know?

Oh sure, the perks are great. Generally there’s a really nice place to live and a big staff of perennially eager beavers working and catering to every wish. There may even be hordes of devoted followers, too, hanging on the King’s every word as though they were, well, gold, frankincense or myrrh.

But bein’ a King ain’t all fun and games. After all, many a king has discovered the truism (sometimes the, um, hard way, if you get my meanin’) that along with great privilege comes great responsibility.

Sometimes, that’s the hardest lesson of all, isn’t it? That when you’re the actual leader – whether it’s of a single person or an entire country – it takes a very special individual who can truly live up to the role. Presidents and Prime Ministers, CEO’s and Supervisors, Captains and Corporals; they all bear a heavy responsibility when it comes to how they lead the folks underneath them in the org chart.

Are they worthy of the job they bear? Well, that’s the question, isn’t it? Sometimes, no matter the apparent qualifications, only time will tell.

Maybe that’s one reason Christians consider Jesus to be our King. I mean, with what we know about human nature (not to mention the not inconsiderable failings of earthly Kings and leaders of all kinds), only someone sent from God would really be qualified to do it right. Just sayin’.

Are You a Leader?

So what about you?

Are you a leader? What would you say are the main things that makes folks want to follow you? (Trust me when I say, if your followers don’t want to follow you, you ain’t a real leader no matter what the title says!) What advice would you give someone moving into a leadership role for the first time?

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Can a tiny little bit of resentment really be all that bad? I mean, it’s so small, and that – well, let’s call it anger ’cause that’s what it really is – is just a lil’ tiny thing, ain’t it? Besides, sometimes holding a little anger in can be kinda delicious, can’t it?

But over the years I’ve come to realize that no matter how teeny tiny that anger starts out, it can still have an amazing grip on my heart. Here’s what I mean…

Lord of My Domain

There’s just something about owning your own home, you know? Please forgive me if I come across as all that, y’all. I dunno; maybe it’s a sortof “lord of your domain” kind of thing when you “own” a patch of God’s green Earth for yourself, y’know?

Anyhoo – I derive a certain satisfaction standing on my front porch, looking out over the small patch of land I owe so much money on own. Having performed this exercise more than a few times, I’ve gotten rather familiar with my own property. What’s more, it’s pretty easy to tell when there’s something not quite right. A disturbance in the force, perhaps? An object that didn’t belong?

Suddenly I spotted the offensive element – right at my feet! Oh, the horror! There in my front garden – right next to the walk where any visitor could see it – was a (sound of terrified scream) weed! Well, it really wasn’t all that big. In fact, it was only about 2 inches tall. But set against our dark brown mulch, the bright green leaves made it easy to see.

OK; now you’re probably thinkin’ to yourself, What the heck is the big deal? I mean, it’s only a weed, right? I mean, it’s not like it was a triffid or anything. And you’d be correct up to a point. After all, when you have a garden, finding a weed here and there is pretty much a given. (Find a triffid, on the other hand, and you’d better run for your life! Just sayin’.)

Anyway, I did what any self-respecting homeowner woulda done: I reached down to gently, er, rip the little booger outta the ground (you have to do it just right or you don’t get the roots out, you know), only to find… the darned thing wouldn’t budge! Harumph.

Now, that kinda surprised me, since this particular weed was so small. I mean, how deep could the roots be, anyway? And how strong? After all, I’m a big, giant man – and I’m ‘waaay stronger than any puny little ol’ weed! So I bent down, got a better grip on the weed’s stem, and started pulling, gently but firmly. With fairly steady pressure, it would eventually let go.

At first, nothing happened. Finally, I saw it slowly coming loose. The only thing was, a surprisingly large patch of the garden was coming up with it! My eyebrow lifted in a remarkable imitation of Mr. Spock, and I’m almost sure I heard the word, “Fascinating” in the whisper of the breeze.

Sheesh, I thought, what’s this thing wrapped around? Those dang roots must be down somewhere near China! I had visions of unearthing a misplaced treasure chest filled with lost pirate’s gold or something. And now I had to pull that out along with the offending weed.

Finally, I got it completely out of the ground, and was rewarded with my Catch of the Day: a two-inch weed attached to a big clump of dirt – and a four-inch piece of wood! I’m tellin’ ya; that weed wasn’t gonna give up without a fight!

Anyway, having come out the victor in this particular battle of wills, I sneered in my best Jimmy Cagney impression, “Nyah; thought ya had me, ya little weasel! But I showed ya who was boss here, didn’t I! Nyah!” (Hey, sometimes I gotta be my own entertainment.)

Needless to say, that little weed never stood a chance against someone as big as me (not that I’m, er, big, mind you!) But what surprised me was the way the roots of that little guy managed to get such a good grip on that piece of wood – not to mention the sizable clump of dirt it brought out with it.

The thing is, roots can be like that, can’t they? They work their way into the tiniest of crevices in dirt, rocks or whatever, and can be heck to completely get out. And wow, they can have quite the deathgrip, if you know what I mean.

The Root of Bitterness

There’s an interesting statement in the Bible (actually, it’s in Hebrews, chapter 12, verse 15, if you care to look it up) that uses a word-picture combination that has always stuck with me. Here’s the verse:

See to it that no one comes short of the grace of God; that no root of bitterness springing up causes trouble, and by it many be defiled…

… and the words of interest are right there in the middle: root of bitterness.

What’s a root of bitterness, you may ask? Well, it’s a fair question. A root of bitterness is what the writer of Hebrews calls that little, angry, resentful feeling you get when you don’t like bein’ disciplined for your own good.

Remember when you were a little kid, and you did something stupid, or wrong, or mean? Chances are good that your parents, or your teacher (or hopefully someone appropriate) laid some discipline on ya, right? It happens all the time, even when we’re grown up, too.

Everywhere we turn, life, the universe, and everything tends to discipline us when we do stuff that’s out of line, doesn’t it? Oh, it might not be right away. I mean, you may think you’re getting away with it. But I’m tellin’ ya; sooner or later, she all comes home to roost, if you get my meanin’.

Here’s where the rubber meets the road, though. If you’re still teachable (hopefully that includes you!), then that discipline actually serves to make you a better person. But if you’re not… well, you may just end up a bitter, angry person. Hey, you know it’s true, right?

I find the choice of those particular words “root of bitterness” fascinating, don’t you? It describes perfectly what’s happening down inside your heart. Even the tiniest bit of anger, just like that tiny little weed, can get quite a grip on the fabric of your soul. Once there, it can be pretty tough to root out, y’know?

What to do? Well, it’s pretty simple, really. Just deal with whatever the situation is that caused the anger. And whatever you do – don’t  let it fester or it’ll get worse! Roots have a way of growin’ deep when you ignore ‘em. I’m just sayin.

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Photo: Tiny weed, by bishib70

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[Note from the Proprietor: Today's post is (as you can plainly tell by the title) a guest post submitted by my friend Luke Gedeon, who blogs at Luke Gedeon. Although this week we're focusing on Mountaintop Experiences, this one is a mite time-sensitive (and marginally related to the topic anyway) so I'm posting it today.]

Thank you Robert for this guest post opportunity.

The theme of this month is What I Learned from the Mountaintop, and I will post on that soon. For today, I have something closer to a valley, but don’t worry. It has a happy ending.

Have you ever needed help really bad, and had nothing to give in return? No money. No girl scout cookies. Nothing!

Well… I did offer one person a bag of M&M’s. The gift was accepted but the results were well… a little less than I had hoped for.

I recently entered Caring for China, the non-profit I work for, in a group-writing project. Not the ordinary, just for fun project, either. The company sponsoring the project, Zemanta, is giving away several thousand dollars to the cause(s) that can get the most bloggers to participate. (Click here for more info.) It is still open until Saturday the 6th, if you are willing to help.

So of course I jumped at the opportunity! I sent out a mass email to friends and family, I posted about it on my blog and twitter, and even set up a twitter account for Caring for China and followed anybody who said anything about China in hopes that they would help.

Then I went back to work on two huge projects, and let the mini-mass-media do its work.

Silence.

So I tried again, this time individually contacting a few of the people I thought most likely to help.

That worked!

At least half of the people I contacted directly followed through. I am still hoping a few more will soon.

This guest-post opportunity also came about through direct communication.

So my big lesson for the month, what I learned from begging, is that personal contact is still essential, and that blog posts and tweets without the “at” sign do not count as personal contact. You still have to use people’s names and address them individually.

So how about you? Have you ever experienced the thrill of begging? Did you learn anything in the process?

[This blog post is part of Zemanta's Blogging For a Cause campaign to raise awareness and funds for worthy causes that bloggers care about.]

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[Further note from the proprietor: As mentioned above, this post is also part of this month's What I Learned From... groupwrite project. If you'd like to join us (and you're more than welcome!), just click on that cute little link and read all about it. You have until Sunday at midnight, June 7 to enter!]

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[Warning: Lengthy post - not because I got long-winded - that sorta goes without sayin', if you get my meanin' - but because of a long image lower down in the post. Just sayin'.]

You ever get the feeling you’re bein’ watched? It’s sorta like that creepy-crawly feelin’ between the shoulder blades when nobody’s around. Like bugs crawlin’ around back there. Ick.

How about when you know you’re bein’ watched, like when you get up in front of a room filled with people?

OK, how about this one: What if you suddenly realized a whole herd o’ folks were watching your every move? Does it make you think twice about what you were about to say? Or not? Kinda makes you think, doesn’t it? Oh, sure; some folks thrive on that sortof thing. But not me – and I daresay, not most of us, either.

That thought struck me the other day (sound of dull thud), bringing back a particular memory…

It Started Out Innocently Enough

A few years back, during a regrettably long period of unemployment, I was invited to sign up for a two-week-long jobs program run by the Texas Department of Labor. (Not that I expect great things from anything the Government does, mind you; it just seemed like I wasn’t getting anywhere with the usual job-hunting methods and figured any help would be a good thing. Besides, it was free! I like free.)

Right at the beginning, folks who sat at the same table were grouped into teams. Well, it was no big deal anyway since we didn’t know each other to begin with. Interestingly enough, though, the six of us at our table somehow seemed to “mesh” almost right away, and before too long were cracking jokes and trading insights with each other like the best of friends. I guess shared trials really did help us there; we were all in the same leaky boat and lookin’ for a bucket, y’know?

Well, things went fine for the first week. At the start of the second week, though, our instructor announced that over the next couple of days we’d all be conducting mock interviews in front of a video camera, and the class would then offer (hopefully) helpful critiques.

Now at first, I must admit to feelin’ a tad nervous about that. I mean, I’d never been videotaped before (except by accident at a wedding, or something), much less done it in front of millions. (Well, maybe about 30 – but it seemed like millions!) After a few minutes discussing it with my friends at the table, I managed to put my fears back down into that little box where I usually keep ‘em.

After all, I said to myself, how bad could it be? (He said, blithely.) I mean, you sit down, answer a few questions honestly and forthrightly, maintain eye contact, smile, don’t pick yer nose – heck, I could practically do that in my sleep!

V-Day

Finally, the day came. Each interview lasted about 5 minutes; then for about 15 minutes we played the tape while different folks pointed out, um, “helpful observations”. Actually, they really were helpful. Really. It can just be a bit overwhelming when everyone is trying to, y’know, help you.

One by one, each of us did the deed. By a quirk of fate, our table was one of the last ones, so we had plenty of time to observe how the whole thing was going. In part, it helped allay some fears. Folks were actually contributing helpful advice. Of course, in part it simply caused a slow buildup of, y’know, other fears…

Again, I thought to myself, I can do this, no problem.

Finally, my turn came. I’m tellin’ ya; you’da been proud of me! On the outside I was as calm as a mountain lake. But on the inside… ah, but on inside I was just a giant bowl of shiverin’, quiverin’ jello. Nevertheless, I stood up, calmly moseyed up to the front and took a seat – then proceeded to make a total hash of the entire interview! (sound of heart dropping through my shoes)

Yep; it’s true. In fact, by the time it was over, you could hear this unbelieving hush fall across the entire room. Embarrassment seemed to reign supreme, especially on the instructor’s part as she struggled to come up with something – anything – positive to say about my abysmal performance.

I felt like a piece of greasy food left on a plate that was about to be put in the dishwasher. Or like that target they use to test the effectiveness of the blast power of a Cruise Missile. It was awful. It was humiliating. It was – well, lemme put it this way. If I’da known the deep, dark secret to becoming invisible, well, I woulda done it right then, no hesitation – publicity be hanged.

The Eyes Have It

What happened, you ask?

Well, it’s like this. I was fine until I suddenly realized how many eyes were focused right on yours truly. Eyes belonging to folks I didn’t know. I mean, I was fine when swapping lies stories, conversing and laughing with folks at my own table – you know, the ones I was comfortable with. But bein’ out there in front of all the rest of the room was quite a different story.

Wow, was that ever a fun excruciating experience! Hey, it’s tough enough discovering things about yourself you didn’t know – and aren’t necessarily proud of. But it’s a frog of an entirely different hop when it happens right there in front of God and everyone, if you get my meanin’.

As it turned out, though, I did learn a few things that actually helped me out later on. Perhaps the main one was this: never to forget your audience – and the fact that no matter what you do, you have one! In fact, as I pointed out up there at the beginning of this post, that very thought came up the other day…

Ooh, Shiney! A New Toy: Twitter Mosaic

The other day I ran across this little web-based thingie called Twitter Mosaic.

What does it do? Hey, glad you asked! When you enter your Twitter username, it makes a nice composite of your choice of either followers or friends. (Note: Still haven’t figured out how to make it show all my enemies yet. Might be a handy thing to keep around… But I digress.)

Anyhoo, I have about 675 Twitter followers (give or take, depending on time of day, current season, and that particular day’s hat size). After deleting avatars that are obviously businesses, and turning it into an image (actually 6 separate images since it was so long) this is what the mosaic looks like (and I have no idea why they end up in the order they appear here):

Wow! Now that’s really sumpin’, y’all! Not only does it create a really cool image, but that’s quite a lotta folks, y’know? And to think I hardly have any followers compared to some.

Just think – all those folks are… uh… hmmm… well… Eek! They’re watchin’ everything I say! (suddenly jumps up and runs screaming from the keyboard)

Is it Gettin’ Hot in Here, or is it Just Me?

Now, why do I suddenly feel so very self-concious? I mean, it’s not like there’s any difference in now versus, say, 10 minutes ago, right? Not really. But the very idea that so many folks (potentially at least) are able to read my words (and slice and dice ‘em  too, should they feel so inclined)… well, it’s kinda sobering, for want of a better term.

I mean, like most folks, there’s a much smaller group I regularly communicate with, via blogs, comments, tweets, etc. They’re like those folks at my table – we laugh at each other’s jokes (and groan at the boners), edify each other, encourage each other to no end. But all those others – it’s like bein’ suddenly transported back to that chair in front of the video camera.

Uh, wow.

Oh, I’m sure a lot of those followers are simply there for numbers; hey, it’s a fact of life. Honestly, I don’t begrudge them that. The truth is, you get out of it what you put into it, y’know? But still, the idea that so many people can see every word I write does kinda make it a little more real, y’know? And, just for a brief moment, I had a flashback of that horrible feeling I had back in that workshop. But only for a moment.

I’ll tell ya; it should be a wake-up call for all of us, though. After all, the things we say out loud here on the Internet really are out there for all to see. And, like it or not, your words have power. Power to build, or power to destroy; power to obfuscate, or power to enlighten – hey, it’s up to you.

As that great American Philosopher Obi-wan Kenobi once said, “Choose wisely…”

Let’s Bring it Home

Now, lest you think I done forgot to bring this baby home (and thereby lettin’ you off the hook), let’s make this real and personal, shall we?

The fact is, whether you have a lot of followers or just a few, there are folks out there who actually read, think about, and yes, Virginia, sometimes even respond to your words. Now, knowing that to be true, does that:

1. Scare you to death, giving you a bad case of the heebie-jeebies every time you sit at the keyboard
2. Excite you beyond words and you just can’t keep it in any more but have to get what’s on your mind OUT THERE
3. Make you yawn because you don’t really think about it much, and hey, what I have to say doesn’t really matter all that much

OK, I made the choices extreme on purpose. Nevertheless (would a word like that fit the definition of “mashup”? uh, never mind) which continuum do you lean toward, and how does it affect what you do (and perhaps more importantly, say) on the web?

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Photo: Watched 2, by 35mm fanboy

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"Untitled", by Digit Al

[Note from the Proprietor: This is an entry for this month's What I Learned From... groupwrite project. We'd love to have you join us! See the bottom of this post for details - after, y'know, you read this post, of course! Just sayin'.]

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Two armies faced each other across the ravaged earth. Each understood, from the nature of the conflict, that there could be only one victor. By now many skirmishes had occurred – indeed, the very ground they occupied evidenced the terrible forces that had already been brought to bear.

Nevertheless, the Conclusion of the matter was still to come. Both sides, opposition and incumbent, knew it would be long and fierce, with no holds barred. Both understood the stakes involved. Each had committed to see the battle through to its inevitable finale.

THE OPPOSITION GENERAL marshaled his forces in vast ranks to either side. All that remained was the disposition of a few last arrivals, and the battle would begin. He knew it was all or nothing, and was grimly determined to be the victor, no matter what the cost. Everything he was, everything he dreamed of would be determined by the outcome of this final battle. There were no greater stakes, and he knew it.

He surveyed again the impressive ranks of daunting warriors at his disposal. Their size, their determination, their dedication to himself… A deep and profound feeling of pride rose from within as he contemplated his command of so invincible a force. His eyes narrowed as he turned and carefully scrutinized the massed ranks of the incumbent’s forces. Their strength and self-confidence was evident, but he knew they would be no match for the power of his own forces. Victory, he knew, would inevitably be his.

The appointed time approached with all the ponderous inevitability of a glacier. He stood tall, raising an arm toward his trumpeters. They lifted their flaming instruments, long prepared to boldly signal his command. As the moment approached, all of creation seemed to hold its collective breath in anticipation.

It was time.

BUT A SUDDEN FLURRY of motion began within the facing ranks, making him pause for a moment. Brilliant light flooded upwards from the midst of the enemy line, so bright as to be nearly intolerable. Taken by surprise, the General halted the order to better concentrate his not inconsiderable intellect upon the new development. Wary of trickery, he waited and watched, bewilderment increasing as a remarkable scene unfolded before his astonished eyes.

The distant ranks of enemy soldiers began to part like the pages of a vast and timeless book, revealing an extraordinary panorama. Right there, exactly in the middle of a blasted and torn battlefield, an anomaly had appeared. Where once the land was twisted and black, a vast patch of brilliant green had simply appeared, as if commanded into existence.

His jaw dropped as he watched the patch of emerald light resolve itself into a huge garden. Snow-capped mountains appeared, accompanied by the threaded silver lines of rivers and streams filled with clear, fresh water. Every kind of tree and bush thrust newly-formed limbs skyward as if in supplication. Flowers burst open in eye-popping arrays, sweeping across the hills in broad strokes of color as far as the eye could see.

An incredible variety of insects, birds, and animals began to appear everywhere. Strangely, they appeared almost rough-hewn at first, as if molded from clay by a sculptor’s hands. But then, with an explosive flicker of motion, they burst into life. Birds exuberantly flapped their wings as they soared upwards into the now clear blue sky. Cattle munched sedately on fresh green grass as they slowly ambled away. A trout, tossed like a lump into the river, changed in an instant to a flash of silver motion as it turned and joyfully burst from the liquid surface in a fantastic leap.

IT MADE NO SENSE whatsoever. What was going on? And why now, just as battle was about to be joined, would his counterpart stop everything for this… this petty diversion? That’s when he noticed a small gathering of figures in the midst of the garden, next to one brightly spectacular tree.

Abruptly, he stopped to take a closer look. Yes! One of the figures was the arch enemy himself! He grimaced in self-satisfaction, anticipating the coming delicious confrontation. To finally vanquish his foe once and for all! The thought stirred his heart as nothing else could.

But… what was he doing? Two other figures stood in front of him – one male; the other, female. Oddly enough, they didn’t appear to be wearing any armor. In fact – and this was strange, considering the conflict that was about to be unleashed – they weren’t wearing anything at all!

Was it a planning session for the upcoming battle? Perhaps they were special envoys, being briefed to send a message. Maybe even to me, he thought. Could the enemy be willing to give up so easily? He doubted it, but one never knew. It was dangerous to underestimate the shrewdness of his opponent.

But no, they seemed to be just… talking. Finally, his nemesis stepped forward, kissed them both, and joined the male and female’s hands together. That’s when the truth became evident – it was obviously some kind of ceremony!

It was an astonishing revelation. All those eons spent planning the coming confrontation, and he thought he knew his opposition down to the last aspect. Nothing, he thought, could possibly take him by surprise. This, however – this was something completely unexpected.

He silently watched as the ceremony ended and the ranks of soldiers smoothly reformed themselves with machinelike precision into their former battle lines. The bright, eye-searing glow faded from sight, and one could almost physically sense their determination gathering as both sides prepared themselves for the coming action.

BUT CONFUSION REIGNED in his mind for the first time in a long, long while. He understood the fact that his opponent had wanted him to see this – but for a while, he had no idea what to do – a first for himself. What could possibly be so important that an epic battle would be held up for a… a… ridiculous ritual!

Then confusion gave way to anger. This will have no bearing on the inevitable outcome, he told himself. But still… there was that niggling doubt. He knew his adversary was a shrewd campaigner and wouldn’t hesitate to do something unusual, just to throw him off. He stoked his anger into white-hot fury. There was nothing – absolutely nothing – left to chance. This moment of show, so obviously for his benefit – well, he was determined it would change nothing! As for those two… humans – he practically spat the word – well, he’d deal with them later.

He angrily turned and raised his arm to give the signal…

Something Very Odd

[Note from the Proprietor: I realize there's plenty of folks who don't take the story of Adam and Eve literally. Heck; there's some who haven't even heard of 'em! No problem, my friends; believe it or not, even among Christians there seems to be some discussion about their actual, literal existence. Hey, that don't bother me none. As far as I know, it's pretty much a free world out there (at least, inside our own skulls, anyway), and you're welcome to believe they were real - or not - as you see fit.]

OK; I don’t know about you, but it seems to me that something very odd happened in this story. I mean, think about it for a minute, won’t you?

In truth, what turned into (or will turn into, depending on how you look at it) the Ultimate Battle actually started out as a rebellion by an angel then known as Lucifer. However, by the time the smoke cleared (figuratively speaking, you understand), Lucifer-turned-Satan and a third of the angels had been swept from Heaven.

Now where, exactly, they ended up isn’t really clear to me, although it seems apparent from the narrative in the Book of Genesis that even the Earth itself had been decimated in the ensuing conflict. Be that as it may, to me the story of Adam and Eve still remains an amazing anomaly. Or maybe… it was a turning point?

The Turning Point

I mean, here we are, in the midst of the Battle of the Eons. Both sides know it’s a conflict with only two possible outcomes: total victory – or total defeat. As we say here in Texas, there weren’t no ‘ifs’, ‘ands’ or ‘buts’ about it.

And yet, right in the middle of this epic conflict, God himself stopped the whole shebang – not to conduct a planning session, nor to regroup, nor even to take a breather. Nope; it was to conduct, of all things, a wedding!

Kinda fills you with a sense of wonder, doesn’t it? I mean, the institution of marriage must be pretty important, don’cha think, if the God of the Universe would do something like that. So… it seems to me we ought to at least take our marriages a bit more seriously than, y’know, your average sporting event, political issue, or financial statement.

Hey, I’m just sayin’.

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[Yet another note from the Proprietor: This is yet another entry in this month's What I Learned From... groupwrite project. If you'd like to participate - and maybe win a free copy of Problogger - well, just click on that cute little link and read all about it!]

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[Note from the Proprietor: This is an entry for this month's What I Learned From... groupwrite project. We'd love to have you join us! See the bottom of this post for details - after, y'know, you read this post, of course! Just sayin'.]

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Have you ever wondered what was the point of adversity – y’know, trials and troubles? I know I used to.

I mean, it ranked right up there with the other Questions of the Ages. Important questions, like: Why do we face adversity? Why do the righteous have to suffer? Why do we fall in love? Why was it that, no matter how hard he tried, the Coyote could never catch that stupid Roadrunner?

But I found out that, when it came to adversity, I was completely missing the point. And I finally got to share that with someone.

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Ask and Ye Shall Receive… Uh, What, Exactly?

Back when I was in my early twenties (insert respectful moment of silence here in memory of my *sigh* lost youth), I belonged to a fairly small church near my home in northwest Houston. Now, if you’ve ever been a young single person in a very small church, you’ll understand the dilemma.

See, the problem was, there usually aren’t all that many singles in a small church. As a matter of fact, in our case there were exactly, uh, two. Unfortunately, there were inherent problems with that basic fact, to wit: she was a woman of the female persuasion. (Not that there’s anything wrong with the fairer sex, mind you! No, it’s just that her parents kept tryin’ to, well, nudge us towards gettin’ hitched – something neither of us were ready for yet! But I digress.)

Anyway, one day a young single man decided to join our little fellowship. I thought to myself, Halleluiah, someone to “take the heat off”, if you follow me. And as luck would have it, we kinda hit it off in relatively short order.

I’m tellin’ ya; he was one sharp cookie, too. He worked as a foreman at a large oil tool company – in fact, at 24, he was the youngest one they’d ever hired. And with me bein’ in the engineering field as well, we could easily talk shop with each other.

One fine spring Saturday, we had volunteered to help repaint the covered walkways linking the buildings at the church. Right in the middle of a brushstroke, he suddenly stopped working, looked at me, and blurted out, “Man, I’ve got a real problem!”

Now, this came as no surprise; I could tell he’d had something on his mind. But you know how it is, right? I figured he was either gonna tell me – or not. So I just waited.

“The problem,” he said miserably, “is that nothing’s going right at the plant!”

This kinda startled me, so naturally I asked, “What do you mean by that? Are you worried about your job?”

“Oh, no, not that,” he quickly reassured me. We decided to take a break and moseyed over to the soda machine. (Although he’d just moved to Texas, he was already startin’ to pick up the finer points of moseyin’. Told you he was sharp!)

Several quarters later, he continued. “It’s stuff like… well, I’ve got automatic cutting machines breaking down all over the place, my work schedule is totally bonkers, and I can’t seem to get the programmers to understand why they can’t just do whatever they want!”

I could tell he was pretty frustrated about it. But the kicker came when he said this final statement:

“I mean, I’ve been praying like crazy, asking God for patience – but it seems like it’s not working!” By now he was really upset. “Instead of help, all I’m getting are more problems!”

Up the Creek

Trust me; I’ve been there.

But y’know; sometimes I wonder how many of y’all out there feel like you’re in exactly the same boat. How many times have you done everything you possibly could to make things go just right – whatever things they might happen to be – and next thing you know, you’re up the creek with a paddle – but without a canoe?

Isn’t that the way it is sometimes? You spend a lot of extra time and effort in making sure every ‘t’ is crossed, and every ‘i’ gets that little dot… and yet… and yet. I think you can fill in that blank, can’t ya?

Well, it just so happened I couldn’t offer him any help. At least, not directly. But  I did recall an interesting thing one of my favorite writers, the Apostle James, wrote one time, and it’s always, well, not exactly solved my problem, but at least it’s helped me understand what the deal was, if you get my meanin’.

Here’s what ol’ James had to say (if you have a Bible handy, you’ll find it in verses 2 through 4 of Chapter 1):

My friends, be glad, even if you have a lot of trouble. You know that you learn to endure by having your faith tested. But you must learn to endure everything, so that you will be completely mature and not lacking in anything.

Now, if I’m readin’ this right – and I think I am – it seems like James is telling me to be happy when troubles come my way. After all, there’s a reason for them – to learn to endure. And, even further, he says it will help us to become mature.

Hey, if you’re like me (and sincere condolences if that is, indeed, the case!), then you probably zeroed in on that fourth word like a laser beam: glad. Uh, say what? Is he kidding?

I’ll be honest with you here. My near automatic impulse when troubles come a-knockin’ at my door is more like Run! Run for your life! I mean, who in their right mind thinks, y’know, glad of all the things going wrong around ‘em?

The Trouble With Trouble

But therein, I believe, lies the nub of the gist, not to mention begging the question: Can you ever get to the point where you can learn to, y’know, laugh in the face of adversity?

See, the thing James is rather delicately pointing out (well, OK; he’s stating it in no uncertain terms) is that there is a purpose for all that mayhem that seems to be following you around. And it’s to help you grow as a person – and eventually, to become a complete one at that!

The basic problem, though, is pretty simple: most of us like things just the way they are! We’d just as soon not face a challenge of any kind, thank you very much. We’re in our comfort zone, and that’s where we like things to be, y’know?

C’mon; admit it – wouldn’t you rather not go to the trouble of having to completely change everything you know for something new? Isn’t it true that every learning experience has its measure of “tearing things down” to go through first? Sure it is!

That’s why most of us get frustrated when life throws us a curve ball every now and then. Or when machines out on the shop floor start breaking down for no apparent reason, no matter how well you’ve planned the maintenance schedule…

But here’s the thing.

When stuff doesn’t happen according to plan, well, that’s when you learn – and grow. It may seem obvious, but how many times have you found yourself in the same boat, wondering, as my friend did, why on Earth this (fill in the blank here) was happening to you? Hey, don’t feel like the Lone Stranger – we all do it.

BUT (and you’ll note – that’s a mighty BIG ‘but’ – wow, I’m so happy I have a post to go with that expression now!) once you worked your way through it, didn’t you realize a sense of accomplishment? Weren’t you in some small way (or big way, for that matter) glad at the outcome? Wasn’t it a wonderful feeling when you took that truckload of lemons life unloaded on you, and turned it into a huge shipment of Lemon Pledge – making a killing on the market?

Guess my buddy James was on to something.

Anyway, after I shared that little tidbit with my disheartened friend, he looked up at me in astonishment, his eyes wide. “You mean all this time, every time I’ve been praying for patience, I’ve actually been praying for trials?”

I put a friendly arm around his shoulders as we walked back to the painting equipment and took up our paintbrushes.

“Yup,” was about all I could say. “That’s about the size of it, Bubba!”

It Comes Down to This

How do you face troubles? Do you forge ahead, savoring the challenge? (Believe it or not, there actually ARE folks like that. Go figure.) Or are you more like me: I usually grumble a bit at first, then work my way through it, maybe even finally laugh (and now that I’m blogging, perhaps write) about it afterwards.

Hey, don’t be shy. I know you are well and truly all kinds of folks out there – along with all your great experiences. Share some tips, why don’cha? Trust me; we can all use ‘em!

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[As I pointed out 'waaaay up there at the top, this here post is my entry for our What I Learned From... groupwrite project. The topic this month is ADVERSITY, and if you've got a lesson learned on that particular subject, hey, why don't you join the fun? You might even win a free copy of Problogger for your trouble! Just click on that link and read all about it. You have until Sunday night at midnight to get your entry in.]

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Photo Credits:

I got trouble, by ndemi

How to laugh in the face of adversity, by true2source

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[Note from the Proprietor: This is one of an ongoing series of posts called Scenes From a Sidewalk. Want to know what it's all about? Follow that link to read the series introduction.]

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When facing worry, fear and doubt; run in circles, scream and shout!

- A “less than optimum” formula for facing troubled times

First of all, lemme just say, er, sorry for the, um, slightly disgusting photo there. But it IS something I found on my daily trek on the sidewalk… Besides, it speaks volumes to me (not that I’m in the habit of, um, listening to dead insects… or dead anything, for that matter).

Anyhoo…

Show of hands: How many times have you ever felt like the unfortunate little critter in the photo here – when life has turned around and pretty much flattened you like a big ol’ ten-ton bag of steaming donkey poo? Yep; thought so. [Note from the Proprietor: I assure you, the use of donkey poo and its implied political commentary was entirely accidental! But I think I'll leave it.]

Hey, I know what it’s like; I’ve been there too.

A Thankless Job

About 8 years ago, I spent an entertaining three months on a project in Taiwan. Then upon my return, I worked for the same company at their office in Dallas, Texas for yet another three months before it finally ended. (When you’re a contract employee, in some ways it’s a thankless job because getting laid off is the usual way a project ends. In a way, you sorta get immune to it after a while, although it’s never exactly fun.)

Now, whenever that sorta thing happened, I’d immediately switch to “job search mode”. You know what I mean, don’t you? Update resumes, make phone calls, pestering everybody in contact your network – you know; throwin’ all the usual things up against the wall to see what sticks. To my surprise, though, instead of a few days off, followed by a new job – my, er, “utilizationally-challenged” days began to stretch out into weeks. Gradually, weeks turned into months, and the months (sound of despondent sobbing) turned into – you guessed it – years.

I’m not kidding folks, it was almost 4 years to the day when I picked up my briefcase (er, figuratively speaking – I don’t normally carry a briefcase to work) and headed back to work again! And trust me when I say, that was a loooooooonnnnnnnnggggg four years!

I’ll tell ya; countless times during those years I experienced more than my fair share of confusion, frustration, aggravation – not to mention quite a few other -tion’s as well. And more than once I felt exactly like our little buddy la cucaracha up there.

You know, the problem with this sort of feeling is – it often leaves you thinkin’ you’re the only one in the whole world. You know what I mean, right? The “poor me” pattern. The “why does this hafta happen to me” malaise. The “nobody knows the trouble I seen” sob story.

No doubt about it; bein’ on the receivin’ end of life’s unpleasant surprises is a sure fire recipe for self-pity, self-doubt, and loneliness.

Oh, Woe is Poor, Poor Me!

There once was this guy named Elijah. (Hey, that sounds like the start of a limerick, doesn’t it?)

Now, this guy was a relatively unique individual – an Old Testament prophet. He was a crusty ol’ fellah, and probably wore your typical prophet’s robe cut from rough cloth since he lived out in the wilderness. His job was to proclaim God’s word boldly and with fervor in the face of the bad guys – I mean, he was pretty much the epitome of what folks thought of when they thought of the word, “prophet”.

One time, while confronting a particular evil king and queen (Ahab and Jezebel – history tells us they were the absolute worst ones ever), he challenged their entire priesthood of the false god called Baal to a sortof “wild west” showdown, just to prove who’s God was the Real Thing.

So Baal’s priests built an altar – then Elijah built an altar. They put a sacrifice on theirs – and he put one on his, too. Then just for the heck of it, he had them pour water all over his altar’s wood to make it impossible to burn.

Then the priests prayed to Baal to call fire from heaven and prove their worth. (This is from 2 Kings, Chapter 1, in case you’d like to check it out.) Alas for them, nothing happened. (Musta had a wrong number?)

Finally, after several hours of this nonsense, Elijah prayed to God, and not only did fire come streaming down from heaven to his altar, it also consumed the stones of the altar, the water, Baal’s priests’ altar – and by the way, all of Baal’s priests, too!

Now, you’d think, with this kind of affirmation backin’ you up, you’d have a little confidence in your God, wouldn’t you?

Oddly enough, it didn’t – quite – turn out that way!

Immediately after this truly eye-popping event, Queen Jezebel got so angry that she turned several shades of red, then threatened the life of our hero Elijah (you know, the same guy who just totally, er, toasted the Queen’s private army of priests) and what did he do? Stand up boldly and call her out? Stride up to her and slap her silly? Spit in her eye?

Well… uh, not exactly! Instead of standing up to her, he turned and ran for his life, hiding in a cave as far away as he could get. Then he cried out to God that he was the only one to suffer as much humiliation as he, and to please take him to heaven now, thank you very much, so he wouldn’t have to face that evil whack job Jezebel!

Well, I don’t know about you, but that just seems too weird! Here he was, the genuine, bona-fide winner in the “my God is bigger than your god” contest, and this is how he acts? I mean, c’mon!

Well, God let Elijah stew in his own self-pitying juices for awhile, then told him that, not only was he not alone, but that there are over 700 others “out there” who followed God – and that he should stop feelin’ so sorry for himself. In other words, “You ain’t alone, Bubba, so get up off your sorry butt and get back to work!”

You’re Not Alone!

The fact is, no matter how you feel, you’re really not alone. And I wasn’t either. All I had to do was – turn my focus outward instead of inward in order to find other folks just like me!

Understand, now, I don’t mean, “there’s lotsa other folks sufferin’ like you are”. No, what I mean is, there are others out there with whom you have something in common – now go find them and see what you can do for ‘em!

The truth is, when I spend time thinkin’ about my own woes, well, it’s a sure-fire way to end up depressed. But when I focus on others – be the lovely Mrs. MZM, my friends, or whoever – hey, as long as it wasn’t, y’know, all about me, then things started lookin’ up.

Oh, don’t get me wrong; it still took four years to get another job. It’s just that, once I learned to think about others instead of myself, the time just somehow passed quicker. Amazing how that works – but there it is.

I’m just sayin’.

Bonus Round

p.s. For some strange reason, the idea of an actual limerick somehow stuck in my brain for a few days, and lo and behold, one actually materialized! So as an added bonus, I give you…

Elijah’s Limerick

God spoke through a guy named Elijah
To Ahab, said, “Just can’t abide ya!
I’ll call down the fire;
Roast your priests on a pyre;
And you’ll know, when I’m done, Who’s the Higher!”

(Note: To make it rhyme properly, you have to use a distinctive New York State accent. The words “fire”, “pyre” and “higher” are all spoken like this: “fi-ah”, “py-ah”, and “high-ah”.)

Hey, I never said it was a good limerick.

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Photo: Squished! by Robert Hruzek

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Note from the Proprietor: This is also an entry for this month’s What I Learned From… groupwrite project. If you’d like to join the fun, just click on that link and read all about it. Everyone is welcome – you may even win a free prize!

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