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OK, it’s time for my semi-sortof annual post on the subject of Marketing.

Now, before I go on, I just want to go on record as saying that I’ll be the first to admit this post constitutes something of a rant. For that I apologize; I’m not usually given to rants here at the Zone. Musings, now… well, musings is what we do best around here.

<rant>

Out to Lunch

I went out to lunch the other day (and yes, I’m aware that some of you may think I’m always out to lunch) at a local beanery. Next door was a national chain drugstore with one of those fancy new computer-controlled marquee-thingies out front.

You’ve seen ‘em, right? They’re similar to the new scoreboard screens you see at sports events; except of course they don’t display the play of the day but a constantly-changing series of whatever are the day’s specials.

Prices are such that, immediately upon seeing said incredibly unbelievable prices, you are expected to cut across 5 lanes of traffic, slide perfectly into a parking slot like a Hollywood stunt driver, and rush breathlessly into the store to make the purchase.

You’ve gotta wonder, though, how successful these things actually are in pulling in customers. I mean, if it were me, for instance, a killer price on a gallon of milk, or 5 cents for a 10-pack of batteries wouldn’t entice me to stop (well, maybe that one for batteries might).

Now I just know you’re sitting there and asking yourself, “OK, Smart Guy; why not?” (Amazing how I can read your minds like that, isn’t it? Oh, and thanks for the complement!)

I Really Hate These Things

What I absolutely hate the most about these things is that nearly every one are so bright I’m afraid of exposure to dangerously high UV levels! Hey, you can call me obstinate (heck; you can call me Steve if you like – I don’t mind), but immediately upon noticing one of these things, my initial and automatic response is to avert my eyes lest I be struck with temporary blindness.

Thus, any possible message about tremendous savings are lost on me. (But I don’t know; it seems to me this might make for some interesting lawsuits, don’t you think?)

Also, and because I’m, you know, driving several thousand pounds of motor vehicle, there’s a limited amount of time for me to read the day’s specials anyway. Let’s say it takes approximately 10-15 seconds to drive by a given sign, and each item is displayed for about 4 seconds. So even if plenty of things might actually be worth my while to make a special stop and purchase, how would I know? I’m not likely to see them.

So I ask you: is such a sign really worth it? After all, since I can only see two, or at most or three items, then what are the odds a particular item would be of interest? (Sound of buzzer) Not bloody likely, I’ll tell you!

And speaking of driving by, here’s another obvious fact: in order for me to read the sign, I have to take my eyes off the road. Now, I don’t know about where you live, but in Houston traffic, if I do that for more than a second or two you’re likely to have to scrape me and my car off a light pole or something!

(Not that I’m a bad driver, mind you; it’s just the way it is here. Continuously keeping your eyes on the road is pretty much a requirement for survival.)

Finally, there’s the chance the message will get, well, lost in translation. As I watched this particular sign, I did notice one message that kinda caught my eye (Augh! My eye! My eye!) The first line (it was a two-line display) read, “Downy Fabric Softener”. The second line went, “Buy 1, Get 1”.

Urk?

Hmmm… I wonder if part of the message got left off – like, for instance, the word “Free”? I mean, after all; if you “buy 1”, then it stands to reason you’d probably, er, “get 1” don’t you think?

What I Learned From…

So what’s the point of this rant, anyway? I have no ideaHey, I’m glad you asked! Here’s what came to mind as I pondered this, um, “sign of the times” (sound of rimshot; sorry, couldn’t resist):

First of all, to understand any of what I’m about to tell you, you must take as a given that we are all marketers. You do understand that point, right? Nod your heads, please (sound of creaky joints). Thank you. OK; here’s just a few points, observations, conclusions, or whatever (in no particular order):

It’s better to specifically target your message – Broadcasting a message for the whole world to see, in the hopes that the numbers game will work for you is IMHO an enormous waste of time and resources. Now, I happen to know these signs aren’t cheap (I know someone who makes them). So once again I ask you: what are the odds of enough people being attracted by this sign enticed to spend their money that the store can even come close to the cost of upkeep, utility use and permitting; not to mention the initial cost of the sign? Smart marketers know the most efficient use of their budget is to target the message to their particular market.

Make word-of-mouth work for you, not against you – I know there are plenty of marketers out there that believe the point of advertising is getting people to talk, good or bad, about their product. But I’m here to tell ya (and trust me; I won’t be the last to do so!): the risk of turning potential customers off – or even worse – turning them into negative evangelists is exceedingly high when what you’re doing irritates the fire out of ‘em! If your message rubs people the wrong way, you could end up being the talk of the town, and NOT in a good way.

Don’t be ridiculous! – OK; I admit I may have exaggerated just a teensy little bit about the whole bright sign/looking away thing. But it’s happened before. Folks around Houston still remember the giant Pepsi logo (it was about 25 feet in diameter and elevated nearly 70 feet high) that used to reside off Hiway 225 near Gulfgate. Honest truth here: it was bad enough during the day, but at night it was so incredibly bright it literally hurt your eyes as it flashed on and off every few seconds. Sure, the message got out: Buy Pepsi. But the message received was completely different: BUY PEPSI, YOU MORONS! Try to put yourself in the customer’s place and see how they would react to your message, your product, and especially your presentation.

OK, granted I’m no marketer (except, you know, as defined above). But these things seem so self-evident to me; how can marketers not see it? Yet sadly, there’s an entire world of examples out there about how NOT to do it right.

</rant>

So how about you? What’s your take on this? Have you run across any obtrusive and/or blatant marketing or advertising that you’re convinced will (or at least, you kinda hope it will) kill the company that does it?

You know, it would just be absolutely finer than a frogs hair if you would subscribe to my RSS feed!

We interrupt our regularly scheduled program to bring you this news flash…

Last year Drew McClellan and Gavin Heaton made publishing history, producing the first-ever e-book of its kind, The Age of Conversation. Having been accidentally mistaken for a marketer, I was privileged to be one of 103 authors who contributed a chapter. (Limited to 400 words! Can you imagine me limiting myself to 400 words on anything?)

Now a hard copy of AoC sits proudly on my bookshelf, gathering admiring glances from the Beautiful, the Powerful, and the Glitterati who come to visit.

I’m tellin’ ya, it required an incredible amount of behind-the-scenes work, herding over 100 writers into line (sorta like herding cats, no doubt), cutting, pasting, editing, pulling hair, sobbing uncontrollably at the drop of a hat… But I think all would agree Drew and Gavin did a great job (even though SOMEbody changed my chapter title! *sob*).

The end result was spectacular. Not only has the book gained international attention, sales of the book at lulu.com (and hopefully, soon to be available at Amazon.com) have to date earned over $10,000 for Variety, a children’s charity. Now there’s something to be proud of!

Well, the news just broke this week, and unbelievably, these two crazy people nut jobs fine upstanding fellows want to do it again! (Sound of crowd going wild with excitement!)

And YOU are invited to help. How, you ask? Simple!

Go to this website and read all about it. And in the spirit of an election year, you even get to vote!

You know, it would just be absolutely finer than a frogs hair if you would subscribe to my RSS feed!

I know you often think about keeping your customers happy - and you’re right to do so. But have you ever thought about the opposite?

I mean, do your customers appreciate what you provide so much that they would be willing to sacrifice just so they could stay your customer? Would they be upset if you went out of business?

In the past, it wasn’t unusual for the drafting rooms of a few of the larger engineering firms here in Houston to be basically just drafty old warehouses, or whatever else happened to be available. In fact, the biggest firm (this was many years ago) used an old remodeled aircraft hanger that was affectionately (or disparagingly, depending on your point of view) called The Barn.

Now close your eyes and imagine with me, if you will, row upon seemingly endless row of men (yes, men – in those days there were very few, if any, female drafters), in white short-sleeved shirts and ties, pocket protectors jammed full, all hunched over their drafting tables, laboriously designing the infrastructure of modern day society. (OK, that last may be a bit melodramatic. But it’s still true – most of the stuff those guys engineered back then is still for the most part functioning just fine today, thank you very much!)

Quick question: What is it that keeps all engineering offices fully functional? Nope, not computers (sound of buzzer) – the idea of using a computer was laughable back then. Uh-uh – it’s not electricity either (again, sound of buzzer – followed by sound of hammer repeatedly hitting buzzer); you can still function pretty well in the dark, you know. Hey, you finally got it (sound of cheering): it’s coffee! (Except, of course, in Asia where it’s probably tea.)

According to legend (as told to me by someone who worked there at the time) there was this young woman at The Barn whose job was to keep the coffee flowing freely all day long. She was a sweet girl, naturally gregarious (which is a ten-dollar word for “friendly and easy-going”), and very well-liked (after all, she provided coffee – the lifeblood of drafting rooms everywhere).

(Yes, I know. The idea of a young woman’s choice of career being spent serving coffee to hundreds of men is largely passé now. Try not to judge this story by today’s standards – remember this was a while back.)

Well, one day she came to work unusually depressed, and within a few minutes, word got out that she had been laid off. The news spread like wildfire; talk about your angry mob (sound of angry rabble) – it nearly started a riot! I mean, you would have thought the entire drafting floor had been closed for business.

However, as luck would have it, this was a room full of *ahem* engineers – if anybody could come up with a solution, they could, right? Right (sound of more cheering)!

So here’s what happened.

Coffee had always been free. Now, however, the company had announced plans to install automatic coffeemakers (something fairly new at the time), which is why they didn’t need the young lady to serve coffee any more. Coffee would still be free, but the downside was that the men would have to *gasp* make their own coffee! The situation was intolerable (sound of disgruntled murmuring)!

Suddenly Aero, the Superhero Engineer a couple of the more enterprising fellows whipped out their trusty slide rules (hey, why use pencil and paper when you can use a slide rule! Who says engineers don’t rock!) and quickly calculated that if every man in the room chipped in just a few dollars per week, they could actually match her former salary!

So they offered her the deal and she quickly agreed. Voila! Problem solved! The universe as we know it was saved, and the heavens rejoiced. (In fact, I think the clouds actually parted and a particularly bright sunbeam shone down on the building at that specific moment. Or so they say.)

OK, now let’s consider what happened from a business point of view.

This woman’s “business” was being shut down, because the company found a cheaper way to provide the same product (the coffee, in case you’re having trouble following along). Her “customers” got so upset about her losing her business that they were willing to pay money to keep her in business!

It wasn’t that they couldn’t get coffee. No, it was the service – or more accurately, it was the whole routine of coffee with personal service and interaction she provided that they couldn’t get anywhere else.

So here’s the sixty-four dollar question: Do your customers feel that way about you?

After all, it ain’t just customer service any more; these days it’s customer experience.

You know, it would just be absolutely finer than a frogs hair if you would subscribe to my RSS feed!

… what would it look like, and why? Even better, what would you WANT it to look like?

Interesting questions, don’t you think? Thought-provoking, profound and personally revealing – all at the same time. The perfect “get to know you” question. If you’ve been around the internet for any length of time, I know you’ve run across (or been tagged already) with one of those too-numerous-to-count memes: 1,000,000 Things About Me, 88 Random Things About Me, 500 Things About Me You Didn’t Want To Know But I’ll Tell You Anyway… or, well, something like that.

Now don’t get me wrong; I do enjoy finding out stuff about folks I read because it helps morph them from just pixels on a screen into actual three-dimensional people. But let’s face it; those are just words.

Yesterday’s post about plans, construction sites and buildings got me to thinking (in case you were wondering about that grinding noise) about what I’d like my life to look like if it were a building. Think of it as a branding question: What would your building say about you?

So how about some Friday fun?

Since most of us are visually-oriented anyway (sound of light bulb switching on), I thought to myself, “Hey! Rather than just telling us about yourself, why not show us instead?” (And I’m not even from Missouri!)

OK, I’ll start. Back when I was working in Las Vegas, I ran across this one:

For me, it would have to be the New York, New York Hotel in Las Vegas, Nevada, USA. When I first saw it, I was literally mesmerized (sound of me, mesmerized). How on Earth did they manage to mind-meld so many different styles into one single building (and without a Vulcan in sight!)? It is absolutely incredible; not just from an architectural and construction standpoint, but to the senses as well.

Here’s why I would use this structure as “my” building:

1. Authentic. (Here’s one for you, Joanna!) I’ve never been to the actual New York, but it definitely gives you a genuine feel for the place. This was confirmed repeatedly by many I met there who had been to New York. If there’s anything I’d like my life to be, it’s authentic.
2. Consistent. Both inside and out, the entire place screams NEW YORK CITY! From the scale model of the Statue of Liberty on the outside to the choice of food vendors inside, it’s completely focused on giving you a feel for the real thing. The other half of the coin of authenticity is consistency.
3. Proud. Not as in arrogant; no, I’m talking about standing tall and willing to be noticed. The thing is, there are a lot of hotels in Las Vegas you never heard of, but this one is willing to be a focus of attention - a landmark, even. Are you willing to stand out from the crowd and be unique?
4. Whimsical. Defined as determined by impulse or whim rather than by necessity or reason, this seems to describe the overall look perfectly. I found it interesting that the World Trade Center building was shorter than the Empire State Building. It was an opportunity for the designers to emphasize what really says “New York” to most people. Taking a relaxed and sometimes whimsical view of life gives you the opportunity to see things you’d miss otherwise.
5. Serious. Hey, this is one of THE major money makers on the Strip. Big business for sure. And I’m not admiring the casino, or any specific part of it; it’s that I admire the great job the management team does: they know who they are they and do it well. Know your stuff, and be able to do it so well you don’t have to spend all your time on it. That way you can stop every now and then and have -
6. Fun. Notice the roller coaster surrounding the entire structure? That is one fun ride, especially at night! Gotta enjoy life!
7. Hospitable. Hey, the place is a hotel, after all, and the idea of hospitality resonates with me. I mean, I would like to be known as a hospitable guy, ready with a cup of coffee or cold drink if you need one, maybe a place to draw up a chair, have a seat and take a load off… (and hey, maybe even a Klondike bar or bowl of Blue Bell Banana Pudding Ice Cream - and yes, it deserves the Capitals).

(Oh, and by the way, if this building truly represented my life as I’d like it to be – I’d leave out the casino, and relocate the whole thing someplace else! Sin City is aptly named…)

Hey, this was fun! So what about you? What kind of building would you like to represent your life? Not necessarily your actual life, mind you, I’m talking about what you’d like your life to be. (Let’s leave some room for dreams and goals here.)

Hmmm, let’s see now… who to tag, who to tag? OK, how about:

Joanna Young at Confident Writing
Troy Worman at Orbit Now!
Liz Strauss at Successful Blog
Dawud Miracle at Healthy Web Design
Pete Aldin at Great Circle

Got a great response for this question? If you read this post, consider yourself tagged, my friends; no need to sit around waiting for a tap on the shoulder! Go for it! (And p.s., don’t forget to link here so I can capture them all in a wrap-up post later.)

You know, it would just be absolutely finer than a frogs hair if you would subscribe to my RSS feed!

How do you accomplish really big audacious goals? Hey, that’s easy – break it into lots of little ones, of course!

Hmmm… it seems to me I’ve mentioned before about the network marketing business I’ve recently gotten into, right? (Sound of groans from the audience.) Well, one key concept to success in our NM business can be nicely summed up by this phrase: it’s not what you do; it’s what you… start.

It simply means that eventual success is built upon your initial actions.

OK class, what that translates to for our particular NM business is two-fold, and can be summed up as follows: first, each Associate finds 10 customers, then signs up 3 Associates and teaches them to do the same. We call this the Power Unit (has a nice ring to it, don’t you think?), and completing it is the gateway to earning residual income from all customers that subsequently sign up in the Associate’s downline (which is all Associates below them in the organization).

As with all NM businesses, it works by duplication, and over time it can add up to quite a large number of Associates and customers in your downline. (Just as a for instance, the group leader we’re under has over 3,100 Associates and well over 10,000 customers in his downline after working the business about 28 months.) So, as each Associate does exactly the same thing, then incredible things can happen!

Anyway, the other day I called a friend of mine in order to invite him to become one of my Associates, only to discover he’d been in the business for about two years already (Ignite has been in business since March of 2005). But here’s the thing – he was no longer actively doing anything at all with it. In fact, the sum total of what he’d done was to sign up one single Associate – and then he stopped. No customers, no more Associates. Done. Finis. End of Story.

About a year and a half passed.

By the time I got around to calling him, he hadn’t even thought about it in quite a while. He had no idea what had developed in his downline, so after we talked, he began to do some checking.

Remember that one Associate he signed up? Well, he made the astonishing discovery that  his downline now consisted of an organization of 214 Associates! Whoa Nellie! Can you believe it? Here my friend was, down in the dumps because he felt he wasn’t accomplishing anything – only to find out a large dynamic organization was being built below him – not because of what he was doing, but because of what he… started!

You want to know the sad part? Because he never completed his Power Unit (10 customers and 3 Associates) he hasn’t qualified to earn the residual income from all the customers those 214 Associates in his downline have signed up! No core team - no income. He’s missing out on hundreds, and eventually thousands of dollars of passive, residual income every single month – just because he got discouraged and quit!

OK, here’s the thing.

You got some goals, perhaps even big, audacious goals you want to achieve? Sometimes, after the thrill of coming up with them starts to wane, you find yourself looking at them and thinking, “Now how am I going to accomplish this thing, anyway?”

Of course the answer is to break it down into smaller, more achievable steps, then focus on accomplishing those instead. That way the big, final goal becomes the inspiration for all the little ones along the way.

Plus, each little goal, when successfully attained, gives you progressively more confidence, making it that much easier to make it to the next step. Consistent, along-the-way encouragement plus a big picture vision will propel you forward far more than just the vision alone, no matter how wonderful it is.

When you get right down to it, success in any endeavor is pretty much built in the same way. Remember that phrase I mentioned at the beginning of this article?

It’s not what you do; it’s what you… start!

You know, it would just be absolutely finer than a frogs hair if you would subscribe to my RSS feed!

OK, this isn’t really an entry in this month’s What I Learned From… project. It just kinda came to me. (Hey, it’s my blog and I can do what I want.)

Normally, I don’t think about the subject of branding much, but here’s a little something that recently tiptoed across my unsuspecting cortex in pink fuzzy slippers… (Why pink fuzzy slippers, you ask? I’ll quote Leslie Neilsen: “Because I like the way they make me feel.”)

Uh, where was I? Oh, yes –

The other day in my work carpool, two of us got into a somewhat zany conversation about old movies and TV shows. It was a lot of fun reminiscing about old shows like “Dukes of Hazzard”, “Lost in Space”, or “Mission Impossible” (not the ridiculously idiotic movies, but the brilliantly original TV show).

But the thing that we ended up talking about most wasn’t some “gripping police drama”. Nor was it yet another in the seemingly endless series of what are laughingly referred to as “reality shows” (I mean, c’mon folks – this is reality?)

No, we ended up laughing the most about that old Batman TV series starring Adam West as the Head Bat. Talk about a silly show! Better than any Simpsons episode, I’ll tell ya! (OK, I’m aware that I’m giving away a lot here, but what the heck – it was bound to come out sooner or later.)

Anyway, despite the proliferation of Batman movies (and assorted Batmans, for that matter - or is it Batmen?) that have hit the big screen over the last few decades, in my mind nothing beats the old TV show. Why? Well, because when I turned on the TV, I knew I’d be entertained - simple as that. I knew what to expect, I looked forward to it, and the show always delivered. In a word, it was consistent.

For instance, invariably at some time during each episode, both Batman and Robin will be seen walking up the side of a building using a rope (well actually, it was painfully obvious the camera was turned on its side – but that’s what made it so funny), and inevitably some well-known TV or movie star would stick their head out the window and initiate some inane conversation with the caped crusaders. This little vignette turned out to be one of the highlights of the show – you just never knew who would pop out.

But for me, one of the silliest things (among literally hundreds of them) the show’s producers did was make sure everything had the “bat-” prefix. You remember the Batmobile, of course. But then there were also the Bat Boat, the Batcycle, Bat Copter, Bat Plane, Bat Phone, Bat Suit (and I have no doubt whatsoever, Bat Shorts) – the list went on and on.

It applied to actions as well as things, too. Once, when Batman and Robin were tearing down a road in the Batmobile and had to make a sudden turn, Batman turns to his trusty sidekick and says, “Prepare for Bat-turn, Robin!”

And who could ever forget the Bat Rope, a piece of regular ol’ rope prominently labeled “Bat Rope” visible for TV viewers to see. (I always imagined an entire industrial complex out there somewhere, producing all these wonderful toys, something like Wile E. Coyote’s mysterious supplier, “Acme”.)

But amid the BIFFs, POWs, and OOFs that speckled the screen whenever a fight broke out (at least once per episode, guaranteed), after all these years, there is one thing that stands out to me, and it’s a great lesson that has truly stood the test of time.

One thing that old show (and for that matter the entire Batman franchise) demonstrated well was the process of BRANDING. Yep, that’s a fact, my friend. Whatever else you might say about Bat Man and the whole Bat “Thing”, boy did they have branding down to a science! I mean, when a plain old piece of rope got branded with the Bat Brand, it became something special – no longer just a rope, but an essential piece of crime-fighting equipment!

So, the next time you think about branding, I just have this simple advice: Take a Bat Lesson from the masters!

You know, it would just be absolutely finer than a frogs hair if you would subscribe to my RSS feed!

Perhaps you’ve already heard the news, but this week (Monday, actually) a new book, The Age of Conversation, went on sale amid quite a bit of hoopla and fanfare (cue the fireworks; cue the band).

In case you missed it, The Age of Conversation is the brainchild of ace marketers Drew McClellan and Gavin Heaton. A great testimonial of how an idea can be turned into something far greater than the sum of its parts, the book is a compendium of 103 authors (which by the way includes yours truly), each with a single page of content. As the book’s cover declares, what we have here is a book with many voices, but one conversation.

Already there has been some considerable fanfare along with articles in several large publications; other media are beginning to take notice as well. On the book’s dedicated website you’ll find everything you might ever want to know, including how the idea developed, the list of incredible authors, and how to buy your copies (available in three formats: e-book, paperback, and hardcover).

Still not sure you’re interested? Try this one on for size: Steve Woodruff at Sticky Figure is writing a series of posts with brief excerpts from each entry. Check ‘em out!

Just for fun, you can also check this Google map for the worldwide locations of all authors. And, don’t miss the fact that not one author, including both Drew and Gavin, makes a penny off this endeavor; all proceeds go to Variety, the children’s charity.

Nevertheless, I’d like to take a moment to publicly thank my fellow authors for participating in what Drew and Gavin promise to be an annual event. A tip o’ the hat to y’all!

Gavin Heaton
Drew McLellan
CK
Valeria Maltoni
Emily Reed
Katie Chatfield
Greg Verdino
Mack Collier
Lewis Green
Sacrum
Ann Handley
Mike Sansone
Paul McEnany
Roger von Oech
Anna Farmery
David Armano
Bob Glaza
Mark Goren
Matt Dickman
Scott Monty
Richard Huntington
Cam Beck
David Reich
Luc Debaisieux
Sean Howard
Tim Jackson
Patrick Schaber
Roberta Rosenberg
Uwe Hook
Tony D. Clark
Todd Andrlik
Toby Bloomberg
Steve Woodruff
Steve Bannister
Steve Roesler
Stanley Johnson
Spike Jones
Nathan Snell
Simon Payn
Ryan Rasmussen
Ron Shevlin
Roger Anderson
Robert Hruzek
Rishi Desai
Phil Gerbyshak
Peter Corbett
Pete Deutschman
Nick Rice
Nick Wright
Michael Morton
Mark Earls
Mark Blair
CB Whittemore
Mario Vellandi
Lori Magno
Kristin Gorski
Kris Hoet
G. Kofi Annan
Kimberly Dawn Wells
Karl Long
Julie Fleischer
Jordan Behan
John La Grou
Joe Raasch
Jim Kukral
Jessica Hagy
Janet Green
Jamey Shiels
Dr. Graham Hill
Gia Facchini
Geert Desager
Gaurav Mishra
Gary Schoeniger
Gareth Kay
Faris Yakob
Emily Clasper
Ed Cotton
Dustin Jacobsen
Tom Clifford
David Polinchock
David Koopmans
David Brazeal
David Berkowitz
Carolyn Manning
Craig Wilson
Cord Silverstein
Connie Reece
Colin McKay
Chris Newlan
Chris Corrigan
Cedric Giorgi
Brian Reich
Becky Carroll
Arun Rajagopal
Andy Nulman
Amy Jussel
AJ James
Kim Klaver
Sandy Renshaw
Susan Bird
Ryan Barrett
Troy Worman
S. Neil Vineberg
C.B. Whittemore

You know, it would just be absolutely finer than a frogs hair if you would subscribe to my RSS feed!