Bougainvillea blooms

I know that probably seems like an odd title considering the photo here is of a flaming pink bougainvillea. But – uh, bear with me a moment, will ya? I gotta get some things off my chest.

(Pause while your intrepid and generally unflappable editor jumps up screaming, slapping at his chest repeatedly as he attempts to get a couple of bugs off his chest that somehow dropped down from a clear blue sky.)

Eek! Yuck! Whew! I think I’m alright now. Yuck, I hate icky bugs, especially when they land on you unannounced and all…

Don’t worry folks; I’ll be OK. Today I’m braving the elements once again to share another lesson I picked up from our backyard garden.

The Reluctant Bougainvillea

You folks remember Phil and Queenie, right? Well, we also have this hanging plant, a bougainvillea (wow, is that ever hard to spell!) that makes me nuts. (OK; maybe it’s more accurate to say it helps keep me nuts.) I simply can’t figure it out.

See, when we first saw it at the nursery (does it seem strange to you like it does me that the same word is used to describe a place for both newly born humans and for newly grown plants? What are they, Triffids?) it was completely covered in lovely blooms such as the one you see here. It was, to say the least, quite impressive.

Since we wanted something that would provide a splash of color and handle full sun with ease, well, a hanging basket of bougainvillea seemed to be just the ticket. We brought it home (no name yet, but we’re working on it) and hung it on a pole in our garden.

Apparently, though, our back yard must be the equivalent of a radioactive waste to bougainvilleas, because within two weeks, it was nothing but a bunch of sticks. I’m serious; every single bloom and leaf was on the ground below. Sheesh! Was it something I said?

I kept watering it every now and then as instructed (according to the nurseryman, you’re supposed to let it dry out, then flood it), just to see what would happen, and sure enough, a couple of the branches started sprouting a few new leaves again (phew; so much for the radioactive theory). After a few more weeks, it was partially re-leafed (is that a word?), then lo and behold, the bunch of blooms pictured here appeared.

Since then I’ve been waiting see if it comes completely back, but so far, it’s still only a shadow of its former self (see the photo below for its current state). We’ve had other plants that looked like they were going to kick the bucket, so to speak, but they came back even bigger and better than ever, so I guess we’ll just have to see.

Hey, if nothing happens, well, there’s plenty of other things I can try, like repotting it, relocating it to a different spot, assorted fertilizers, and as a last resort, maybe I can plant it next to Phil and Queenie and see if they give it some inspiration. You never know just which technique will be the one that does the trick.

Having just recently wrapped up our Metaphors for Life groupwrite project, it occurred to me this bougainvillea might just be a metaphor for something. Now, if I could just put my finger on exactly what it’s a metaphor, er, for… ah! How about this:

Are You Resilient?

Bougainvillea basket

So I guess the Question of the Day is: Are you resilient?

By that I mean if you were to experience a setback – say, you just found out a project you’ve poured yourself into didn’t get funded, or perhaps you’ve suffered a sudden and unexpected disappointment in a relationship – well, are you the kind of person who can “come back” easily?

It’s not an idle question. As we all know by now, life doesn’t always work out the way we want (please ignore the gasps of surprise from behind you). For that matter, I would venture to say a significant percentage of things we want to happen – usually, um, don’t.

So what’s a body to do? Well, if you’re like me (and once again, sincere condolences if you are), or even like our sad little bougainvillea, there are a few things you can try.

Repotting – OK, so your feet aren’t firmly rooted in soil. Still, you’re probably rooted to something (like that pet project I mentioned earlier). But if you’ve tried everything you know to do, and it just isn’t quite gelling, well, maybe it’s time to, you know, move on to a new one. You gave it your best shot, but it just didn’t work out. No problem; use what you learned to build a brand new opportunity. You might just come back stronger.

Relocating – Now, I don’t know about you, but I’ve kinda moved about this ol’ planet a few times. (In fact, as it says up there in the About Yours Truly page, Mrs. MZM and I have moved well over 60 times during the course of our 26-year marriage.) There’s just something exciting about moving to a new place, isn’t there? New scenery, new people, (maybe) new job, new house, new – well you probably know what it’s like. One thing relocating always does is stimulate our interest levels. It’s sorta like restoring the “buzz”, if you get my drift.

Fertilizer – Sometimes the problem with plants is they’re missing an essential element or two in their diet. And likewise, sometimes we’re only missing a couple of elements to really make our ideas click, you know? I was getting frustrated while building a business case the other day, but when a co-worker made a simple suggestion – voila! (which is a French word for well I’ll be doggoned!) it made all the difference! Like our sticken plant, all I needed was one little element to move my case from merely OK – to great!

Inspiration – No matter how creative you happen to be, don’cha find there’s times you just can’t seem to get the ol’ Muse stirred up and earning their keep? I know I do. That’s where it helps to take my eyes off the Center of the Universe (that’s a euphemism for, um, “me”) and look around. Hey, there’s all kinds of inspiration out there, you know? What’s more; there’s an easy-peezy, sure-fire, no-fail method of tapping into it, too: All you need is a change of focus. Yup; if you’ll just begin to notice all the amazing stuff going on around you, well trust me Bubba; there simply aren’t enough books to contain it all!

So What About You?

All right, by now you’re somewhat better educated on the care and feeding of a bougainvillea spectabilis. But the real question is, are you better able to handle setbacks? What about it? Have you experienced a setback recently, and what did you do to manage it (after, you know, throwing a hissy-fit and jumping up and down)?

Take a moment to share your experience here. Add more advice if you have some. Hey, we’re listening!

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Other posts from the backyard garden series: Phil and Queenie: A Love Story

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Photo credits:

Bougainvillea blooms, by Robert Hruzek

Bougainvillea basket, by Robert Hruzek

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Would you willingly take on a project that had all the signs of being a real pain in the tookus? That’s the question fellow Texan and business blogger Laura Spencer asked not long ago in her post, Should You Accept an “Ugly Duckling” Project?

The questions struck a chord for me (sound of F^# major-minor augmented chord) – because I once did exactly that.

You know how, especially during warm summer months – when you see the clouds building, and the breeze freshens up rather suddenly, and off in the distance you can hear the rolling thunder – well, you know pretty soon there’s gonna be a humdinger of a storm, right? Yeah, it was like that.

When my manager and I first heard about this particular project (it was only a potential project at that time), we both recognized immediately there would be serious challenges in store for whoever took it on. If I recall correctly, I think our initial conclusions went something like this: a) it’ll never finish on schedule, b) it’ll go way over budget, c) it’s critical to plant operations (increasing the risk), and what’s more, d) it’s sure to be a high-profile project.

Well as it turned out, a) it didn’t, b) it did, c) it was and d) yes-a-rooni!

The irony (which as you know means made entirely of iron) goes even farther, too. I asked for the project. Yep, sometimes I’m crazy like that.

Now, of Laura’s five reasons to prove your insanity take on an ugly duckling project, that second one, “Your chance to shine” is why I asked for it. I recognized right off it would be an opportunity to manage a “stand out” project. And Bubba, stand out it did!

Warning Signs

Now, it wasn’t a particularly complex project or anything. No new technology, or even anything fancy. At its most basic, it was simply an equipment replacement. But here’s the four main reasons why it was so significant:

Budget – Normally, our particular group managed what’s termed “small projects” – usually up to about $5 million in total installed cost. However, in this case the equipment being replaced was rather expensive, making the estimate at nearly 4 times that amount. Although it was unusual for us to handle one of this size, it said something about the client’s confidence in our capabilities, and we had no intention of letting them down. (In fact, our company handled any-size projects, including multi-billion-dollar ones; it’s just that my particular group focused on these small projects only.)

Schedule – Typically, every project undergoes a scheduling process that first determines its duration, then coordinates a start date with all the other projects going on (usually 60-75 at a time). Sometimes, though, one comes along with a fixed “need date” much earlier than normal, hence the name: “fast track”. Alas, this particular project was not only on the fast track – it was an LGV high-speed express train at that (sound of terrified scream)!

Criticality – One thing that determines the need for a fast track schedule is the criticality of the project. In this case, on a scale of 1 to 10, with 10 being the highest, this one was almost an 11! That usually means the existing equipment is about to fail at any moment. The bad news: if it does, the plant shuts down (resulting in several hundred thousand $$$ per day in lost revenues). Needless to say, they needed the new installation, and they needed it now! (Never mind that it should have been started a year or two earlier. But it’s OK; I’m over it now.)

Scrutiny – We handled so many project at any given time, it was unusual for any specific one to be singled out for special attention. Ordinarily the only ones they discussed in the Manager’s meetings were projects that varied from expectations in some shape or form (exceeded budget by a specified percentage, critical delays, etc.; that sort of thing). But this one had a guaranteed front-row seat at every meeting, thanks to its huge size and compressed schedule. Translation: they were watching it – and me – like a flock of hawks at a groundhog convention!

OK, now you know the score; you’re probably wondering how it worked out, right? Uh, right? (Either that or you’ve already moved on to the next blog in your RSS reader.)

The Best Laid Plans…

Well, as I indicated earlier, things didn’t… quite… go as the client had hoped. Sometimes even the best laid plans aren’t worth, as they say in East Texas, a hill o’ beans. I’m telling ya, we swooshed by their original deadline like the Silver Streak on steroids. And the budget – well, suffice it to say their initial estimates turned out to be several years old by the time we got actual, you know, real world pricing.

What kept the local antacid distribution company in business, though, was the onset of winter (the project was located in a north central U.S. state). The old equipment was in pretty bad shape, with a very real possibility that accumulating ice might cause the existing equipment to collapse.

Hey, we did our best, but unfortunately there wasn’t much we could do to speed things up much; at the time, most contractors were pretty much operating at full capacity already. (You know all that faldera you hear on the news about the economy being so terrible? Not true; just look at production - it’s off the charts!)

As things turned out, though, the key to success wasn’t a matter of managing the project. Hey, we had that part pretty well covered, if I do say so myself. I mean, project management is what we do, you know?

The REAL Challenge

No, the real challenge (and what most contributed to that suave, debonair “silver-haired” look you see in my photo) was managing the client’s expectations.

See, the biggest issue was the ridiculously abbreviated schedule. Everyone on the client’s side seemed to think that just because you could make it work on paper, then hey, it’s a done deal. But as we all know, the real world has a way of jumping up and biting you on the, er, brains, you know?

Believe me, the real world had a lot to say! There were unusually heavy rains, for instance, that literally flooded the entire area for several days. (I’m not kidding; it was so deep, the construction crews threw together an impromptu dock for Noah’s Ark, just in case.)

And, as winter deepened, ice accumulations often hindered foundation work as well as material deliveries. (Our contractors even tried to send a special team to northern Canada to see if they could find a few Inuit looking for work. Just kidding; they couldn’t find a dog sled going in the right direction.)

Then there were financing issues. It takes time to release that much money from most companies’ tight little fists, you know. Several times they had to essentially shut down the project until money could be released for the next stage of construction. Sheesh, if I had been a partaker of alcoholic beverages (gave it up 30 years ago), I’d have been a goner!

But still, no matter how capricious Mother Nature acted, the client still seemed to operate on a “perfect world” scenario. Oh, well; that’s how it goes sometimes.

Amazingly enough (and to everyone’s happy surprise) the old installation did NOT fall down under the weight of ice that winter. Spring arrived, and construction finally finished, leaving only the start-up and certification tasks to be completed. After everything was said and done, the project finally managed to creak its way into operation (around the beginning of Summer).

As for me, I managed to get a kudo or two in my record for having had to manage such a difficult project. Even though we didn’t even come close to hitting the original budget or schedule (because they were so unrealistic – and it was acknowledged by the client), it still got chalked up as a success for me personally.

For example, one of our performance indicators is the Total Dollar Value of all projects managed. In my case, this one project alone pushed my tracking numbers way up there; higher than anyone else’s at the time. So, even though the project had its share of difficulties, I was given high marks just for having this project on my record.

And so it went.

So What About You?

But enough about me; let’s talk about you!

Ever faced this kind of problem challenge experience? Yup; I dare say most of us have. Perhaps it’s inevitable that, sooner or later, we’ll all have to have to learn how to deal with unreasonable expectations from a client. (And for the sake of discussion, client can also be interpreted as: boss, spouse, friend, offspring, pet – hey, fill in as appropriate here.) So here’s today’s questions:

When did you last encounter issues with client expectations? Did you end up praying for a miracle, or was there some specific way you managed them? What’s your favorite technique for managing them? How did it turn out? Any techniques that work better than others? In what circumstances are they best? Got any good tips for us here – and care to share ‘em with the rest of us?

[Note from the Proprietor: In case the aliens have only last night returned you to Earth and you missed it, before you proceed I highly recommend you first go here and read Part 1. I'm just sayin'.]

OK, the question before the jury, ladies and gentlemen, is from Brad Shorr’s post, “Try”:

What do you do when you hit a brick wall?

Before going on, let’s quickly review where we ended up at the end of Part 1 (and remember, we’re interchanging the words brick wall with the words problem or challenge): Every time we encounter a challenge, there are two things that usually dictate how we’ll respond:

• Worth - Is the prize worth the struggle?
• Motivation - What’s my motivation?

Alrighty then; now that we’re up to speed, let’s move on. You may recall that Part 1 ended with a call for contributions to that vast repository of information known as the General Body of Knowledge. Well, time’s up (sound of buzzer)! Remember, as is typical in life, generally there’s more than one answer to any question of this nature.

The Readers Speak Up

Let’s pass the microphone over to you guys for a bit and see what you had to say. (Please note this is not a definitive list, it’s just to get the ol’ brain cells to tick over once or twice.)

• Trust Your Feelings. One way Jackie Cameron recognizes a brick wall is when “things don’t feel right”. Very astute, Jackie! Many times, if we’ll tune in to our surroundings we can often sense “something” isn’t right – even if we can’t tell what, exactly it might be (the “drat; I know I’m missing something here” syndrome). Life Lesson: Never underestimate your own intuition! I’ll tell ya; it would take a whole herd of books to catalog all the times I’ve been saved from disaster by stopping to just “feel out” the situation. (OK, let’s be honest here; it was mostly Mrs. MZM’s intuition, not mine, but let’s not quibble details, shall we? Me, I tend to blunder ahead like a brontosaurus.)
• Break It Down. Brad Shorr likes to break the challenge down into smaller pieces and take them one at a time; eventually they get easy enough to solve. It’s the ol’ “start in the middle” technique. This is a good one if the challenge is made up of lots of little things that can be done independently (if you think about it, many challenges may be like this; come to think of it, it’s how I wrote this particular blog post). Life Lesson: Identify the components a challenge is made up of and do the easy parts first. Sometimes a challenge is like a big, tangled knot; once you manage to work loose even a tiny part of it, it’s the key to unraveling the rest! So rather than get all hot n’ bothered about the parts you can’t do, work on the ones you can.
• Leverage Past Successes. Similarly, GL Hoffman leverages his experience to overcome challenges. Hey, you already know it can be done; it’s just a matter of repeating it. Of course, it’s a bit more powerful if you’re the one who did it, but still. Life Lesson: Take advantage of experience whenever you can. You know; you may find that most challenges fall into categories, each of which takes certain techniques to solve. Look for examples you can use to solve them. Why reinvent the wheel, anyway?
• Confront It. Another method is a kindof “look yourself in the mirror” technique. Jackie Cameron also likes to just ask herself, out loud, “OK you – just what is the problem here?” Notwithstanding the talking to herself thing, I’d say this isn’t bad. Have you ever been around someone so negative you just wanted to slap ‘em silly give ‘em a good shake say that to? Yeah, thought so; me too. Life Lesson: Sometimes you have to confront the problem right to its face. There will inevitably be times when it’s good to just point your finger at the problem and ask, “So what’s the problem here?”
• Seek Inspiration. Now here’s an interesting one. When stuck trying to write a poem or a story, Marcus Goodyear seeks inspiration by reading similar material. Can’t say I’ve ever purposefully tried it, but it sorta rings true just the same. I mean, there’s nothing like a good story to inspire another one, you know? (Seriously; just observe a bunch of guys in any gathering as they attempt to “one-up” one another’s stories.) Life Lesson: Good examples can sometimes provide keys to unlocking a challenge. It’s like Amy Palko’s photography: it inspires me to try something similar – and I’m not even a photographer!
• Question Everything. Karen Hanrahan likes to utilize lateral thinking when faced with challenges (yes, that’s what you’re doing, Karen!) By writing it all down in a journal she ends up with a “bird’s eye view” of the problem. It’s sorta like reading out loud – things just sometimes look different once they’re on paper. She finds it often provides the key to solutions. Life Lesson: Try examining the situation in a different way. A fresh look at the challenge may evoke things you may have missed. Asking for input from friends or trusted advisors can be very helpful – they’re not attached to the challenge like you are.

What About Bob?

Along about now you’re probably asking, “OK, Mr. Wisenheimer, so what about you?”

Well, after I’ve done the “run in circles, scream and shout” bit, and before I hit the panic button, I tend to approach challenges like… water.

You remember the water, don’t you? You remember how it behaved when it came up to a barrier of some kind, right? It eventually built itself up until it either went around, over, under or through whatever was in the way.

That’s the way water works. Given enough time (and as long as the water kept building), it simply couldn’t be contained.

In fact, it’s a little like project management: You just keep adding resources until the challenge is met and overcome. Then rinse and repeat for the next one. (Note: “Resources” is a word that includes just about anything you might need to accomplish something. Time, people, money, knowledge, etc. – they’re all resources.)

But what if your resources are limited, you ask? Once again, good question!

Well, I’ll tell ya; it’s hard to imagine you would ever run out of resources as long as you’ve got your friends out here! With the tools we have at our disposal these days, you can pretty much count on finding help for just about any challenge you may face. Why, just the other day I had a simple MS Windows question, and I used Twitter to get a quick and accurate answer (Thanks Chris!). Time expended: less than 5 minutes!

Now that I think about it, I realize that I’ve used most of the methods above at one time or another. And perhaps that’s the best lesson of all: There’s more than one way to do just about anything!

Talk to Me

So what about it, folks; what techniques could you add to this list? (C’mon; you know you want to!) When was the last time you overcame an insurmountable challenge? What did you do?

Typically, when an organization wants to make large, dramatic or fundamental changes in the way they operate, and they have trouble or simply can’t do it themselves (due to lack of available personnel, not enough expertise, or whatever), they usually call in a consultant.

Now, I’m going to go out on a limb here (sound of limb cracking ominously) and say that generally speaking, all consulting engagements consist of the same basic steps. It generally doesn’t matter if it’s a financial institution or a manufacturing facility, a new customer service initiative or an improvement in process throughput; they’re all the same.

So what exactly are these mysterious steps? I thought you’d never ask!

Step 1: Visualize the Future

Most consulting gigs begin when a client identifies some condition they’d like to change, typically followed by a vision of where they’d like to be in relation to it. This vision may be prompted by financial considerations, operational issues, or possibly the CEO’s attack of indigestion. (The truth is, there’s almost always room for improvement.) Whatever the case, the client has presumably given it some thought and decided they want to move from one condition to another.

It’s important to note; that future state is likely a bit nebulous at this point. That’s because it hasn’t been completely thought through yet (hence, the need for help). But at least there’s a vision; that’s the starting point.

Step 2: Perform an Assessment

Once the consultant becomes involved, the first thing they usually do is assess where exactly the client is (in relation to where they want to be). In accordance with the vision as it currently stands, the assessment usually consists of a series of interviews with appropriate personnel, along with the collection of pertinent historical data.

This provides that critical point of reference (the “you are here” spot). See, no improvement is possible without knowing where you are first; it’s just the way it is. This is also where specific elements that must be changed get identified. These are usually called Key Progress Indicators (KPI’s), and will be the means of measuring progress later during the implementation.

Step 3: Conduct a Gap Analysis

OK; once the KPI’s are identified, the idea is to define the differences between the future state of each KPI and the current state. That gives you the “gap”. Now the client knows exactly how much improvement is required, and the consultant can build a plan that will (if they did their job correctly), get them there.

It’s important to identify all the KPIs that are pertinent to the expected change; no more and no less.

Step 4: Create an Implementation Plan

The implementation plan is a detailed list of steps required to move every KPI from point A to point B. Unfortunately, this is where most consulting gigs come to a grinding halt (sound of grinding halt). For instance (assuming the plan is a good one), making the change turns out to be bigger than the client thought at first (a not unusual discovery) and they become nervous about expending that much money, time, or resources.

There may also be other factors at play as well; outside influences, uncertainties in the market, etc. Alas, way too many implementation plans end up as a nice set of binders on a shelf somewhere, gathering dust instead of doing what they’re supposed to do: foster improvement.

Step 5: Implement the Plan

Finally, the plan now created gets put into place. A famous quote comes to mind here: “No battle plan survives contact with the enemy.” Although often attributed to Patton or Eisenhower, it was actually Helmuth von Moltke who is first credited with the saying (although I’m sure every commander since time began has had a similar thought!)

In any case, no truer words were ever spoken! The thing to remember about implementation plans is they must be detailed enough for easy execution, but flexible enough for modification when necessary (notice I said when, not if).

Step 6: Monitor and Correct as Needed

Although called a “step” this one is really a continuous action. Once implemented, presumably conditions have improved to match the future envisioned at the beginning and detailed during the project. However, it’s important to keep an eye on things since there are always a few (or many) things that get missed and/or need to be “tweaked” a bit.

Think of it as a “living program” that goes back and constantly compares the KPI’s to make sure the improvement is “permanent”. Eventually, the future state becomes second nature, and then it’s time to start thinking about yet another improvement… and thus, the beat goes on.

C’mon, Make It Personal

You know, what’s really amazing is these steps aren’t just for big corporations; they can be almost universally applied to any growth or improvement, whether you’re dealing with a large organization or (and here is where it really gets good) a single individual (that’s you!)

I know, I know; there’s bound to be a few skeptics out there. And right about now you may be sayin’ to yourself, “OK, Mr. Smarty Pants, can it really be that easy? What if I want to… write a novel? Or learn to fly (an airplane, that is – if you want to learn to fly like Superman, well, you’ll have to check with Jor-El), or otherwise change my life in large, dramatic and/or fundamental ways?”

Well, first of all, please note that I did not say it was easy! Simple – maybe – but in consulting, as in life, execution is everything. Second, I’m here to tell ya; you absolutely can use these steps to accomplish pretty much anything that’s actually, you know, possible. (However, if you want to do something that’s genuinely not possible, it’s like I said: you’re on your own, Bubba!)

About the only prerequisites to move yourself from point A to point B are 1) the desire to make a change, and 2) the motivation you’ll need to stick with it until it’s done.

So how would you implement a major change in your life? How would you translate those steps above into something useful for you? What would you add or change?

(Image credit: A friend of mine dropped this comic on my desk some time ago. It’s from a Dilbert desk calendar, but I have no idea what the date is, although the year appears to be 2003. Or 2005. Or maybe 3002.)

OK, I have kindofa weird question for you. A conversation with a friend got me to thinking about it (that grinding noise you hear). But bear with me, there’s a method to my, er, madness today.

Have you ever considered that you might be a robot?

Apparently there’s a relatively new TV show called The Big Bang Theory (storyline: two nerdy physicists sharing an apartment have their lives disrupted by a beautiful new neighbor) in which this very question comes up. (Extra special bonus points: How many stereotypes can you identify in that show’s storyline?)

First, you may need a little background.

The question above is a reference to a recent and somewhat silly movie I, Robot (starring the amazingly versatile Will Smith). Well actually, to be more accurate (something we always strive for here at the Zone!), it refers to the wonderful series of books and short stories written by sci-fi author extraordinaire, Isaac Asimov.

Oh, I guess the movie was all right as a good non-gory, mildly interesting action/sci-fi thriller. But as is typical with Hollywood, it had very little, if anything, to do with the original book. Ah, well, c’est la vie (which is Hollywoodspeak for don’t bother us with facts!)

The thing is, in this story all robots have built into them something called the Three Laws of Robotics. These laws are hard-wired into every robot, thereby providing complete and utter confidence that robots would never cause harm to anyone, thus:

1. A robot may not injure a human being or, through inaction, allow a human being to come to harm.
2. A robot must obey orders given to it by human beings except where such orders would conflict with the First Law.
3. A robot must protect its own existence as long as such protection does not conflict with the First or Second Law.

Anyway, back to the TV show.

Four friends are sitting around one evening when out of the blue, one of them asked another the above question. The response, after a moment of incredulity, was a resounding denial, naturally. But the fellow persisted.

“I don’t know; let’s think about this for a minute,” he said. “Have you ever intentionally harmed a human being?”

“Well, no,” he replied.

“Has there ever been a time when you failed to do something, and someone was hurt?”

“Of course not!” was the indignant answer.

“Have you ever willingly allowed another human being to come to harm?”

The guy looks at him in exasperation. “I would never do that!”

There was silence for a minute. Finally, the other three nodded their heads to each other and said to the guy, “You know, I think you just might be a robot.”

Whereupon the guy gets up, walks over to his questioner, and whacks him on the arm! “Nope,” he says smugly, sitting down again. “Not a robot.”

OK, by now you’re probably asking yourself, “Self, what the heck does all this weird talk of robots and laws and stuff have to do with me?”

Well, first of all, how long have you been doing this “talking to yourself” thing? Maybe you should seriously consider getting professional help!

Anyhoo -

Has anyone ever gotten the wrong impression of you? Was it something you said? (I didn’t mean it – honest!) Something you inadvertently did? (I didn’t mean it – honest!) Maybe it was even something you, um, er, wrote? (Eek! Kinda hard to take that one back, isn’t it?)

Well, my fine feathered friend, if this has ever happened to you, then don’t just sit there and stew about it (forming a sortof, er, you stew – yuk!) No way, Jose! Let Dr. Bob give you the solution to what ails ya!

Hey, this is not the time to sit back and mope around, my friends! Nope, you want to think of it as a call to action! It’s actually quite simple, and can be summed up in only three little words:

Prove them wrong!

Even more extra special bonus points: Has it ever happened to you? What happened, and what did you do to correct the situation?

Speaking of assumptions (click on this link: Too Slow for His Own Good), here’s a great story that illustrates how we all make assumptions, pretty much all the time.

Mrs. MZM’s niece is a rather petite woman who could be described as a self-reliant person with a very can-do attitude. As a matter of fact, I’ve always admired her pragmatic approach to life.

A few years back she and her husband decided to join the countless hoards who have decided they wanted to own and ride motorcycles, so he of course bought a Harley, while she got a Honda Shadow. As I said, she is petite, so even though the Shadow is already somewhat low-slung, she still had to have it lowered 3 inches so she could comfortably hold it up while standing at a stop sign.

As for riding gear, well, they went all out; they bought the leather pants and jackets, three-quarter helmets (thank goodness they weren’t stupid!), riding boots, leather gloves – the whole kit. Adding to this image were their wrap-around sunglasses, the bandannas they wore on their heads under the helmets… oh, and his long beard.

Man, they looked like a couple of real desperadoes by the time they got fully suited up! But overall, I gotta say they made a pretty cool pair.

One fine sunny day she decided to take a quick trip up to College Station, Texas (home of Texas A&M University!) to pay her son a visit and show off the new bike. So she saddled up the Shadow and took off for the day, timing her arrival at her son’s place of work (they build farm trailers) so they could have lunch together.

Her son was inside with some of his co-workers when one of them noted the interesting phenomenon of Small Woman With Big Shadow (it has a sorta Dances With Wolves ring to it, doesn’t it?) pull up and park.

“Man, get a load of the tough-looking chick on this motorcycle,” the fellow called out.

Guys being guys, they all immediately crowded up to the window to check out the, uh, motorcycle.

Her son stepped back in horror as sudden realization sank in, and in a shocked voice cried out, “Hey, that’s no chick – that’s my mom!”

OK, the question we should be asking ourselves is not whether or not we’re making assumptions – and let’s face it, we all do it, all the time. And, it’s not necessarily a bad thing. No, the real question is, what’s the risk? Or, to put it more accurately, what’s the risk of those assumptions?

Huh? How’d we get from assumptions to risk? Hey, glad you asked!

See, in the engineering field, we often talk about controlling risk. There’s always a safety risk of course, but there are plenty of other, sometimes more subtle risks as well, such as construction risk (what if that crane isn’t available?), financial risk (what if market conditions change?) and start-up risk (what if you build something and it flat doesn’t work? Believe me, it’s happened!)

Well, the way we control risk is to identify the underlying assumptions made during the planning phase of the project, and then figure out ways to respond just in case things don’t quite go as planned. That’s basic risk management. And by the way, this is where bringing multiple brains to bear (follow this link: Keep Thinkin’ Y’all…) really comes in handy.

What’s really great is we can do the same thing in our everyday lives! Instead of acting on our assumptions of such-and-such about so-and-so, for instance, what if we learned to manage the risk instead?

What do you think?

Doggone! Aarrgh! Spit! P’tooi! (And what the heck: let’s throw in a Rats! while we’re at it.)

(Insert deep breath here.) OK, I’m better now. Have you ever had one of those days?

I’m an engineering project manager by trade (he said), so managing the zillions of details typically required during the design and construction of a project is pretty much par for the course. You’d think I’d be used to it by now, but there are times when, no matter what, things just seem to go wrong.

Let’s just take ONE example.

On this particular project, one of the tasks is to add a fairly large platform to the top of a pair of existing side-by-side horizontal tanks. Now, our normal procedure would be to find drawings of existing equipment so we know what we’re dealing with, particularly with regards to dimensions, materials of construction, etc.

Naturally, there were no such drawings available for these two tanks. So we did the next best thing – gather information directly from the field. Translation: a field hand goes out and measures the things with a tape (it’s not the most accurate technique – have you ever tried to measure something HUGE with a small ruler? Take it from me, it ain’t easy!)

Luckily, all equipment is required to have a name plate with critical information on it like pressure, temperature, wall thickness, etc. Of course in this case (and you knew this was coming, right?) there was nothing about the material of construction used. So we did the next best thing (actually, by now we’re doing the next, next best thing).

Well, sometimes, ya just gotta guess, you know? In engineering parlance, we did a S.W.A.G., which means scientific wild guess (I’m deliberately leaving out the A-word because this is a G-Rated blog).

Alas, and darn. We guessed wrong. Ah, well…

So what do you do when things just flat go wrong? Are you prone to follow the sage advice commonly known as (although I have no idea why) the Mongolian General Prudential Rule: “When in danger or in doubt, run in circles, scream and shout”?

Um… perhaps there’s another way to cope.

So, if you find yourself in a pickle because too many things are going wrong and you’re having trouble getting a handle on things, well, here’s a few basic tips to get you started toward a solution. I call it the 7-Up Solution. (Note: feel free to add more of your own tips in the comments.)

1. Own up – First of all, when you’re dealing with clients who are paying you, like, real money, the first thing you absolutely must do is admit there’s a problem! (Sounds like the first step to an AAA meeting, doesn’t it?) Everybody faces challenges every day – some are self-inflicted, but some aren’t, but you gotta get that sucker into the open before any solution can even begin!
2. Open up – (It’s something like “don’t try this alone” .) Break out of the “I’ve got to solve this myself” mindset. The truth is, when a big challenge lands with a thud on your doorstep (sound of resounding thud), the more brains focused on the problem the better. (You might want to read yesterday’s post for a few quick thoughts on synergy and how different viewpoints can help.)
3. Look up – Now, it’s true that as a Christian, I can always ask God for help when things get overwhelming. But what I mean here is that chances are, if you have a boss, mentor, or some such higher-up, they may have possibly been in this exact situation before. It sounds simple, I know, but in the midst of the storm, we sometimes forget to ask them!
4. Tally up – See what resources you have available to solve the problem. By resources, I mean people, but there are also other information sources to tap as well, such as previous projects with similar situations.
5. Divvy up – This works great when you have a team working with you: divide the challenge into sections that can be conquered separately. The “divide and conquer” method works well when there are several pieces to the problem.
6. Giddyap - (Sorry, couldn’t resist that one. Hey, I am a Texan from Texas.) Once you’ve uncovered a few solutions, pick the best and move on! Don’t waste a lot of time feeling sorry for yourself, or looking for someone to blame. Save that for the “lessons learned” session. Time’s a wastin’ friends – get on with it!
7. 7-up – Now that you’ve figured out what to do, and you’re workin’ the solution – give yourself a break, have a seat, and take a load off; heck, fire up the computer and read Middle Zone Musings! Reward yourself with something quick (I personally like diet 7-Up; hence the name of this step). ‘Way to go, pardner, you done good!

There you have it, folks, the 7-Up Solution to problem-solving! Now it’s time for steps 7b-d: Feet up, pull hat over face, and commence the snores!

Cheers!