Howdy, Bubba! Hey, if you're new around these parts, I just want to say how much I appreciate you dropping by! Oh, and you may want to subscribe to my feed. Thanks, and a tip o' the hat to ya!

Amaze your friends! Impress your co-workers! Flabbergast your enemies!

All you have to do when you run out of intelligent things to say is repeat one or more of these quotes, and you’ll put them all in their place!

• “I used to be Snow White, but I drifted.” – Mae West
• “Always grab the reader by the throat in the first paragraph, send your thumbs into his windpipe in the second, and hold him against the wall until the tagline.” – Paul O’Neil
• “No one really listens to anyone else. If you try it a while, you’ll see why.” – Mignon McLaughlin
• “In theory, there is no difference between theory and practice; in practice, there is.” – Chuck Reid
• “I’m kinda jealous of the life I’m supposedly leading.” – Zach Braff
• “No.” – Amy Carter
• “I don’t know half of you half as well as I should like; and I like less than half of you half as well as you deserve.” – J. R. R. Tolkien
• “Rogues are preferable to imbeciles because they sometimes take a rest.” – Alexandre Dumas
• “If you believe everything you read, better not read.” – Japanese Proverb
• “There is no excellent beauty that hath not some strangeness in the proportion.” – Sir Francis Bacon
• “The scientific name for an animal that doesn’t either run from its enemies or fight is lunch.” – Michael Friedman
• “When everyone is against you, it means that you are absolutely wrong – or absolutely right.” – Albert Guinon
• “The longer I live the more I see that I am never wrong about anything, and that all the pains I have so humbly taken to verify my notions have only wasted my time.” – George Bernard Shaw
• “If at first you don’t succeed, find out if the loser gets anything.” – Bill Lyon
• “There is nothing worse than aggressive stupidity.” – Johann Wolfgang von Goeth
• “It is difficult to produce a television documentary that is both incisive and probing when every twelve minutes one is interrupted by twelve dancing rabbits singing about toilet paper.” – Rod Serling
• “In matters of style, swim with the current; in matters of principle, stand like a rock.” – Thomas Jefferson
• “This was a woman who, between courses, could be graceful with her elbows on the table.” – Henry James
• “Sometimes it’s harder to deprive oneself of a pain than a pleasure.” – F. Scott Fitzgerald
• “We think in generalities, but we live in detail.” – Alfred North Whitehead
• “Mankind have a great aversion to intellectual labor; but even supposing knowledge to be easily attainable, more people would be content to be ignorant than would take even a little trouble to acquire it.” – Samuel Johnson
• “The most exciting phrase to hear in science, the one that heralds new discoveries, is not ‘Eureka!’, but ‘That’s funny …’” – Isaac Asimov
• “Sometimes I lie awake at night, and I ask, ‘Where have I gone wrong?’ Then a voice says to me, ‘This is going to take more than one night.’” – Charles M. Schulz
• “Take everything except yourselves seriously.” – Rudyard Kipling
• “Success usually comes to those who are too busy to look for it.” – Henry David Thoreau
• “All is in the hands of man. Therefore wash them often.” – Stanislaw J. Lec
• “A person is never happy except at the price of some ignorance.” – Anatole France
• “Life does not cease to be funny when people die any more than it ceases to be serious when people laugh.” – George Bernard Shaw
• “I think there is only one quality worse than hardness of heart and that is softness of head.” – Theodore Roosevelt
• “By the time a man realizes his father was right, he usually has a son who thinks he’s wrong.” – Charles Wadsworth
• “Ultimately, what separates a winner from a loser is the willingness to do the unthinkable. Intelligence without audaciousness is not enough.” – Garry Kasparov
• “My husband gave me a necklace. It’s fake. I requested fake. Maybe I’m paranoid, but in this day and age, I don’t want something around my neck that is worth more than my head.” – Rita Rudner
• “Reality is the leading cause of stress among those in touch with it.” – Jane Wagner
• “When we are unable to find tranquility within ourselves, it is useless to seek it elsewhere.” – Francois de La Rochefoucauld
• “How much easier to be critical than be correct.” – Benjamin Disraeli
• “The point of quotations is that one can use another’s words to be insulting.” – Amanda Cross
• “It is only possible to live happily ever after on a day to day basis.” – Margaret Bonnano
• “It has yet to be proven that intelligence has any survival value.” – Arthur C. Clarke
• “There is no pleasure in having nothing to do; the fun is in having lots to do and not doing it.” – Mary Wilson Little
• “Hard work never killed anybody, but why take a chance?” – Edgar Bergen
• “Architecture is the art of how to waste space.” – Philip Johnson
• “Every composer knows the anguish and despair occasioned by forgetting ideas which one had no time to write down.” – Hector Berlioz
• “The men the American public admire most extravagantly are the most daring liars; the men they detest most violently are those who try to tell them the truth.” – H. L. Mencken

You know, it would just be absolutely finer than a frogs hair if you would subscribe to my RSS feed!

Looking for inspiration? Something to provoke a thought or two? Just need a giggle? Try this potporri of quotes from the famous, infamous, and not so famous…

“Two roads diverged in a wood, and I–/ I took the one less traveled by, / And that has made all the difference.” – Robert Frost

“Our great democracies still tend to think that a stupid man is more likely to be honest than a clever man.” – Bertrand Russell

“No animal should ever jump up on the dining-room furniture unless absolutely certain that he can hold his own in the conversation.” – Fran Lebowitz

“A facility for quotation covers the absence of original thought.” – Dorothy L. Sayers

“I like rice. Rice is great if you are hungry and want 2000 of something.” – Mitch Hedberg

“The trouble with jogging is that, by the time you realize you’re not in shape for it, it’s too far to walk back.” – Franklin P. Jones

“At the age of eleven or thereabouts women acquire a poise and an ability to handle difficult situations which a man, if he is lucky, manages to achieve somewhere in the later seventies.” – P. G. Wodehouse

“If you put a good person in a bad process, the process always wins.” – Chuck Knight

“It matters not whether you win or lose; it matters whether I win or lose.” – Darren Weinberg

“The first 90% of a project takes 90% of the time. The last 10% takes the other 90% of the time.” – Chuck Templar

“Success seems to be largely a matter of hanging on after others have let go.” – William Feather

“Always and never are two words you should always remember never to use.” – Wendell Johnson

“Either I’ve been missing something or nothing has been going on.” – Karen Elizabeth Gordon

“When the going gets weird, the weird turn pro.” – Hunter S. Thompson

“People are always blaming their circumstances for what they are. I don’t believe in circumstances. The people who get on in this world are the people who get up and look for the circumstances they want, and, if they can’t find them, make them.” – George Bernard Shaw

“Under capitalism, man exploits man. Under communism, it’s just the opposite.” – John Kenneth Gailbraith

“I not only use all the brains I have, but all that I can borrow.” – Woodrow Wilson

“An intellectual is a person who has discovered something more interesting than sex.” – Aldous Huxley

“Life is what happens while we’re busy making other plans.” – John Lennon

“They always talk who never think.” – Matthew Prior

“The difference between stupidity and genius is stupidity has no limits.” – Albert Einstein

“Inspiration isn’t in what you look at, it’s in how you look.” – Russell Davies

“He can compress the most words into the smallest idea of any man I ever met.” – Abraham Lincoln

“The nine most terrifying words in the English language are, ‘I’m from the government and I’m here to help.’” – Ronald Reagan

“The difference between a violin and a viola is a viola burns longer.” – Victor Borge

“The point of living and being an optimist, is to be foolish enough to believe the best is yet to come.” – Peter Ustinov

“I think that somehow, we learn who we really are and then live with that decision.” – Eleanor Roosevelt

“Strategy without tactics is the slowest way to victory. Tactics without strategy is the noise before defeat.” – SunTzu

“A timid person is frightened before a danger, a coward during the time, and a courageous person afterwards.” – Jean Paul Richter

“I take my children everywhere, but they always find their way back home.” – Robert Orben
“When you win, say nothing. When you lose, say less.” – Paul Brown

“Avoid the crowd. Do your own thinking independently. Be the chess player, not the chess piece.” – Ralph Charrell

And, in what has to be filed under “best advice ever” we have this from those venerable ancient Chinese:

“Do not remove a fly from your friend’s forehead with a hatchet.” – Chinese proverb

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You know, it would just be absolutely finer than a frogs hair if you would subscribe to my RSS feed!

Odd goings on with Blogger these days. I’m thinking of moving MZM to another medium. But that’s another story. ..

Not much free time today, so here’s a few more quotes for inspiration, for thought, and for laughs.

You know, it would just be absolutely finer than a frogs hair if you would subscribe to my RSS feed!

More great quotes: for inspiration, for life, for laughs…

• “If you think that it is expensive to hire a professional to do the job, wait until you hire an amateur.” – Paul N. (Red) Adair
• “When trouble arises and things look bad, there is always one individual who sees a solution and is willing to take command. Very often, that person is crazy.” – Dave Barry
• “Nearly all men can stand adversity, but if you want to test a man’s character, give him power.” – Abraham Lincoln
• “The main difference between genius and stupidity is that genius knows its limits.” – Unknown
• “Be sincere; be brief; be seated.” – Franklin D. Roosevelt
• “Rudeness is the weak man’s imitation of strength.” – Eric Hoffer
• “The best way to predict the future is to invent it.” – Alan Kay
• “1. Never tell everything at once.” – Ken Venturi
• “To invent, you need a good imagination and a pile of junk.” – Thomas Edison
• “Judge a man by his questions rather than by his answers.” – Voltaire
• “Only two things are infinite, the universe and human stupidity, and I’m not sure about the former.” – Albert Einstein
• “I have always wished that my computer would be as easy to us as my telephone. My wish has come true. I no longer know how to use my telephone.” - Bjarne Stroustrup
• “People often write me and ask how I keep my wood floors so clean when I live with a child and a dog, and my answer is that I use a technique called Suffering From a Mental Illness.” – Heather Armstrong
• “Advertising may be described as the science of arresting the human intelligence long enough to get money from it.” – Stephen Leacock
• “Get your facts first, and then you can distort them as much as you please.” – Mark Twain
• “If you trust Google more than your doctor maybe it’s time to switch doctors.” – Jadelr and Cristina Cordova
• “Most conversations are simply monologues delivered in the presence of witnesses.” – Margaret Millar
• “Horse sense is the thing a horse has that keeps it from betting on people.” – W. C. Fields
• “It’s a common delusion that you make things better by talking about them.” – Dame Rose Macaulay
• “Skepticism, like chastity, should not be relinquished too readily.” – George Santayana
• “Morality, like art, means drawing a line someplace.” – Oscar Wilde
• “So much of what we call management consists of making it difficult for people to work.” – Peter Drucker
• “In every work of genius we recognize our own rejected thoughts; they come back to us with a certain alienated majesty.” – Ralph Waldo Emerson
• “Most advances in science come when a person for one reason or another is forced to change fields.” – Peter Borden
• “The most wasted of all days is one without laughter.” – E. E. Cummings
• “The only normal people are the ones you don’t know very well.” – Joe Ancis
• “I have never met a man so ignorant I couldn’t learn something from him.” – Galileo Galilei
• “Never tell anyone that you’re: writing a book, going on a diet, exercising, taking a course, or quitting smoking. They’ll encourage you to death.” – Lynn Johnston
• “The supreme irony of life is that hardly anyone gets out of it alive.” – Robert Heinlein
• “It is impossible to defeat an ignorant man in an argument.” – William G. McAdoo
• “If you shoot at mimes, should you use a silencer?” – Steven Wright
• “Take the utmost trouble to find the right thing to say, and then say it with the utmost levity.” – George Bernard Shaw
• “Every man is wise when attacked by a mad dog; fewer when pursued by a mad woman; only the wisest survive when attacked by a mad notion.” – Robertson Davies
• “Drama is life with the dull bits cut out.” – Alfred Hitchcock
• “The trouble with having an open mind, of course, is that people will insist on coming along and trying to put things in it.” – Terry Pratchett
• “A great many people think they are thinking when they are really rearranging their prejudices.” – William James
• “Facts do not cease to exist because they are ignored.” – Aldous Huxley

You know, it would just be absolutely finer than a frogs hair if you would subscribe to my RSS feed!

Have you ever experienced a day or two where inspiration just doesn’t seem to be forthcoming? Well, I have to admit, this “blog-a-day” thing is a lot harder than it looks! The time required to screen countless articles, the mental energy needed to synthesize my thoughts, the anguish of wondering if I’ve even contributed anything of value at all – oh the humanity!

I can tell you’re unmoved.

Well, what the hey, it was worth a try. Since I’m a little short of inspiration today, I might as well share with you some of my favorite quotes – some funny, some serious, but all worth a minute of thought just the same. Enjoy!

• “There is nobody so irritating as somebody with less intelligence and more sense than we have.” – Don Herold, American humorist, writer, illustrator and cartoonist
• “I told the doctor I broke my leg in two places. He told me to quit going to those places.” – Henny Youngman, comedian
• “As an adolescent I aspired to lasting fame, I craved factual certainty, and I thirsted for a meaningful vision of human life - so I became a scientist. This is like becoming an archbishop so you can meet girls.” – M. Cartmill, scientist
• “Half the money I spend on advertising is wasted; the trouble is I don’t know which half.” – John Wanamaker, the father of modern advertising
• “I write down everything I want to remember. That way, instead of spending a lot of time trying to remember what it is I wrote down, I spend the time looking for the paper I wrote it down on.” – Beryl Pfizer (apparently her only claim to fame is that she supposedly said this)
• “Programming today is a race between software engineers striving to build bigger and better idiot-proof programs, and the Universe trying to produce bigger and better idiots. So far, the Universe is winning.” – Rich Cook, programmer
• “A fact is a simple statement that everyone believes. It is innocent, unless found guilty. A hypothesis is a novel suggestion that no one wants to believe. It is guilty, until found effective.” – Edward Teller, father of the hydrogen bomb
• “We are here on Earth to do good to others. What the others are here for, I don’t know.” – W.H. Auden, English poet
• “I’m much happier getting criticized for overreaching than I would for being too timid.” – Malcolm Gladwell, author of Blink
• “This is not a novel to be tossed aside lightly. It should be thrown with great force.” – Dorothy Parker, American writer and poet
• “Saying what we think gives us a wider conversational range than saying what we know.” – Cullen Hightower, salesman and sales trainer
• “The only winner in the War of 1812 was Tchaikovsky.” – Solomon Short, some guy
• “The author of the Iliad is either Homer or, if not Homer, somebody else of the same name.” – Aldous Huxley, Author
• “I believe that people would be alive today if there was a death penalty.” – Nancy Reagan, former First Lady

And my personal favorite:

• “I’m not a vegetarian because I love animals. I’m a vegetarian because I hate plants.” – A. Whitney Brown, comedian

You know, it would just be absolutely finer than a frogs hair if you would subscribe to my RSS feed!