I woke up rather suddenly from a particularly vivid dream the other night. Oh, not to worry – it wasn’t the screamin’ jeebies or the cold sweats sort of a dream (although come to think of it, one of those might have been more entertaining.) No, I just woke up.

In it, I was a cowboy (surprise!) running a herd of cattle across an empty desert plain, hot sun beating down from a cloudless lid of bright blue sky. I remember thinking (in the dream, that is), There’s no food or water for these critters out here. How are we gonna make it? This is a really stupid idea.

Once awakened, you know what happened, right? Yep; the ol’ little gray cells assumed it was a genuine situation that had to be figured out, and immediately stampeded off into the night like that dreamland herd o’ heifers. That’s ridiculous, I found myself thinking. Nobody herds cattle across a desert. There’s no food. There’s no water. How could they make it? Maybe they could… uh… er… hrm… That’s a really stupid idea… and then round the circle we went again, over and over and… over.

Needless to say, this went on for some time. Eventually, though, a thought occurred to me as if it was the final nail in the coffin: It’s impossible.

Now, I don’t know about you, but I’ve run across some impossible things every now and then. And I’d venture to say that there ain’t nothin’ more daunting, lemme tell ya! It’s like… well, what the heck, I’m gonna go out on a limb here and assume you already know what that’s like.

Yep; impossible things surround us all the time, don’t they? A dream job, the perfect mate, an eventual golden retirement – they’re all around us. Are they really impossible? Well – maybe; maybe not. But I’ll bet you any amount you care to name that if you don’t at least try then it sure as heck won’t happen.

But what about those things that truly are impossible. Things like, for instance, my dream to finally be a… spaceman? (Sadly, it looks like the future I read about when I was a kid won’t happen soon enough for little ol’ me. Sigh.)

Not The Dream, But The Journey

Well, the thing is, even if impossible to actually achieve, some dreams are worth aiming for anyway. Why? Because sometimes, it’s not the destination, it’s the journey that counts, y’know? By that I mean that in the effort of preparing for that so-called “impossible dream”, you might just find yourself becoming a better person!

Even the indomitable Apostle Paul (yeah, that guy who wrote a huge chunk of the New Testament in the Christian Bible) faced the same thing. In fact, he compared life to running in a race:

You know that in a race all the runners run, but only one runner gets the prize. So run like that. Run to win! All who compete in the games use strict training. (1 Corinthians 9:24-25)

See, even though only one person can actually win a race, in order to compete, all who run must improve themselves. In that way, the journey becomes its own reward.

Not a bad lesson for life, wouldn’t ya say?

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Photo: A Cow, by publicenergy

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Wow, I bet that got your attention, didn’t it?

The Mrs. and I were checkin’ out a junk store antique shop a few weeks ago, and I happened to run across a pile of old magazines. Idly flipping through them, I was rather taken aback by the title of the main article on this cover of Look Magazine, dated February 2, 1960:

“SHOULD A GIRL BE FIRST IN SPACE?”

Well, I guess back then you could never accuse magazine editors of bein’, y’know, subtle. Surely, I thought to myself, these guys have learned something over the years.

Don’t Call Me Shirley!

A quick Wikipedia search (altogether now: what did we ever do before the internet came along?) revealed that lady on the cover is none other than Betty Skelton, one of the most amazing women of the day ever.

I had to chuckle a bit at that word, ‘girl’, though. I rather imagine if you called her that today, you’d better keep an eye over your shoulder because she’d likely climb into one of the 10 corvettes she used to set speed records with and lay a few track marks across your face. Just sayin’.

Although the whole article is definitely worth a read (it won’t take long, I promise), the opening summary quite succinctly says a lot: “Betty Skelton Frankman Erde (Note: link to Wikipedia article) (born June 28, 1926) is a retired land speed record car driver and acrobatic airplane pilot who set 17 aviation and automobile records, was known as “the First Lady of Firsts”, and helped create opportunities for women in aviation, auto racing, astronautics and advertising.”

Now there’s a summary for ya! In other words, she gave new meaning to the term “Fast Lady”! And, although she underwent the exact same training the Mercury astronauts went through (it was done at the request of Look Magazine specifically for this issue), she was never actually an astronaut. Which, if you think about it, is a sad commentary on the Way Things Were at the time.

On the other hand, it does bring up the subject of… barriers.

Barriers: Some Real and Some… Not So Much

Unfortunately, there were barriers to women back then that even one as talented and accomplished as Betty couldn’t break down. On the other hand (where did I get all these hands?), were I a bettin’ man, I’d bet you, oh, about a bazillion donuts she was a factor in the eventual acceptance of women in the Astronaut Corps (and a lot of other places, too).

Nevertheless, the wiki article did get me to thinkin’ (sound of grinding gears)…

When I was a kid, there were a lot of things I couldn’t do. You remember what it was like, don’cha? For instance (just to name three) I couldn’t drive a car (I was too young), I couldn’t understand physics (I hadn’t accumulated enough scientific knowledgeable) and, once I got a car, I couldn’t get a date (sadly, I had little or no social skills luck whatever with the fairer half of the population *sigh*).

See, some barriers are truly, well, for lack of a better term, real. Age, for example. In that case, there’s nothing you can do about that kind of barrier except wait for it to fall in its own good time. Hey, I had to grow up eventually, right? (Well, there were a few major boners I pulled when I was young that probably had my parents wonderin’ about that one. But I digress.)

On the other hand, many other kinds of barriers (such as that lack of knowledge I mentioned above) are more a product of how I thought of myself. Once again, though, how to overcome such a barrier was obvious: I needed to work harder and learn more! In other words, it was up to me.

Where’s That Barrier Now?

Over the course of my life many other barriers have fallen, too. For instance, I used to think I couldn’t write. Well, as I’ve discovered over the last few years, obviously that’s not a problem anymore. Although it didn’t happen overnight, with much time, effort, and the sweat of my brow, I now claim to be a writer because, well, I write, right?

But here’s the thing. If I were, for instance, to still insist I couldn’t write… Well, what would have happened is that particular barrier, which may have once been real, if you get my meanin’, is now simply imagined. See the difference? The fact that the barrier once actually existed always made a great excuse. Hey, I could always claim forces outside my control, y’know? (sound of millions of us shouting, “It’s not my fault!”) But now that it’s gone, well, why would I want to leave it hangin’, if you know what I mean?

The good news, though, is lots of other use-to-be-barriers are gone, too. The question, though, is, have I been paying attention? That leads me to another question: I wonder what other barriers aren’t there anymore?  Which of course leads up that all important final follow-up question: What barriers used to hold me back but now are gone and I now longer have excuse?

I wonder… what barriers used to hold you back – but aren’t there any more?

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“A journey of a thousand miles begins with a single step.”

- Chinese philosopher Lao-tzu

I was walking in a park the other day and happened to notice this Mile Zero marker at my feet. This naturally got me to thinkin’ (sound of grinding gears) about life’s journeys, and how a person can end up where they are. (What can I say? I was in a pensive mood that day.)

If you take the time to think about it, where you are in life right now is the result of a rather long series of events.

For instance, take the leader of any given organization. I mean, whoever it is didn’t just decide one day to be The Top Dog, you know. Nope, they had to learn what it took to handle the role, make planned and skillful career moves, perhaps take advantage of opportunity as it arose. Eventually, if all the cards fell into place, they made it to the top.

Oh, sure; sometimes a leader gets the role by accident. But that doesn’t mean they’re not qualified and have the characteristics needed to lead. It takes time, effort, and sometimes luck to get there, no matter who you are or what your goal is.

Now think about where YOU are right now. Is it anything like where you thought you’d be when you first started out however many years ago? I’d be willing to wager – probably not! No, what characterized most folks’ journeys is the unpredictability of ‘em. You can make your plans, learn the ropes, identify the goals or whatever. But sometimes it’s still a surprise.

Despite that, setting goals and makin’ those plans is certain worth doing. I mean, if nothing else, it’s good training for wherever you end up. But there’s one more thing you need to get where you’re going. And without this one last thing, you might as well give up now.

Take the First Step

Sometimes that first step is the hardest one, isn’t it? You’ve spent a lot of time planning, scheming, working, hoping and, depending upon who you turn to for help, praying. Now all that’s left is the doing.

So today’s question is pretty simple: What’s keeping you from takin’ that first (or maybe it’s not the first, but the next) step?

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Ever had the feeling you were bein’ followed? It’s kinda spooky, ain’t it?

Not too long ago, Mrs. MZM and I decided to get out and enjoy the unusually pleasant Fall weather. (I use the word “unusual” because here in the Houston area, we typically have only two seasons: eleven sultry months of Summer followed by a month or so of cold, wet, yucky Winter.)

This particular day, though, was bright and clear, perhaps mid-80′s or so, with a nice, gentle breeze. It was perfect for taking time off to smell the flowers, if you get my meanin’. So we decided to go to a nearby park and see what there was to see.

This particular park happened to be built along a canal that wandered along for about a mile or so. After a few minutes, we decided to follow the sidewalk along the water. I’m tellin’ ya; it was a beautiful day, I had my Honey on my arm, and there was nowhere else I had to be. I mean, how perfect was that?

As we strolled along the waterway, enjoying the gentle warm sunshine, the delicious smell of pine trees, and the silly antics of an occasional duck or goose, I happened to glance down at the water at my feet. It was a surprising sight, to say the least: dozens of these tiny little fish were following us!

It seemed pretty funny, you know? I mean, it’s not like it was a school of piranha or anything. They’re just little fish, lookin’ for a handout. I imagine a fair percentage of folks who walk along this canal toss breadcrumbs or whatever into the water on a regular basis. So to them, any motion along the edges of their long, watery world spelled opportunity.

Unfortunately for them, though, we had nothing to give, so we just walked on. I’ll tell’ ya; I gotta give those little guys credit for persistence! They must’ve followed us for at least twenty minutes before finally giving up and heading for greener, uh, waters.

It reminded me, though, of the fact that while there’s opportunity all around us, sometimes it takes persistence to reap the benefits, y’know? (Not that it paid off for them that day, mind you, but they at least went with the odds.) So let’s take a lesson from my fine fishy friends (and I’m speakin’ to myself as well):

Keep on pluggin’ away, ’cause persistence can make all the difference!

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You work and you work to accomplish the things you want, right? Twiddle this, jiggle that, make sure those things happen in the right order; it’s just life, y’know?

Experience, though, has taught me that, generally speaking, there’s at least one thing more you’re probably gonna need: patience!

All Dressed Up and Nowhere to Go

Our return from Brazil was an exercise in mechanics. We packed up our suitcases, checked out of our hotel, ate a great breakfast, and loaded up the bus. It was time once again to head to the airport and board that big silver bird.

We were nearly the first to arrive at the terminal that morning, and so we very nearly had the entire ticketing area to ourselves. Checking in was the usual semi-controlled chaos; in spite of that it went relatively smoothly. Eventually we finally made it past ticketing and baggage check and headed for the boarding area and gate number 5.

As I approached, though, there was just one little problem. I looked out the window and – there was no plane!

My brain did a quick mental reboot as I considered the various and sundry ramifications of the situation. I mean, we’d done everything we were supposed to do, right? Tickets, luggage, boarding passes – check, check, check. It’s just that, without a plane it was all just an exercise, y’know? Sorta like a fire drill.

It’s All in the Timing

‘Course, once the initial surprise passed, I realized it wasn’t really a problem. We were just a little early, that’s all, and the plane simply hadn’t arrived yet. Still… until I saw our winged chariot waiting there for us, there was always that little niggling concern scratching away at the ol’ subconscious. What if it’s not coming? What if it’s late? What if – well, the list of worries could go on and on, couldn’t it?

The issue, you see, was in the timing. We’d done everything we were supposed to do. But now – ah, now it was out of our hands. The only thing we needed now was a little patience.

Not a bad lesson for life, wouldn’t you say? Sometimes we get so involved in getting things done we forget that not everything is under our direct control, y’know? You might as well face it: there’s times you simply have to wait for that thing you expect to happen… to happen.

The lesson, of course, is simple – have a little patience, friends! Do what you gotta do – but don’t forget to bring along that big ol’ bucket o’ patience. Chances are, you’re gonna need it.

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You ever feel like you’re in some sort of limbo? You know, that place between where you were and where you’re goin’?

Yeah, I know; I’ve been there too – lots of times. In fact, I’m sorta there now.

As you may or may not know, I’m currently “between jobs” (which sounds so much nicer than, say, “unemployed”). And with the current economic climate, like many of us in this particular boat I’m facing the prospect that my normal choice of career may not recover for some time. Alas and darn.

So that sorta leaves me with a few choices, y’know? I can continue to try and pursue the career path I’m used to the most, or (and here’s where the conundrum comes in) find out if there’s something else I can do that’ll pay the bills –  or better yet – earn a living at.

Needless to say, it would be nice if I could do something I really enjoyed – like, for instance, write for a living. But it’s a pretty rare bird that can just up and make a living at it; generally that sort of thing takes time to build. Not that I can’t pursue it, mind you, but it’s not the only thing I’ve got my eye on right now. Suffice it to say I’ve got several different irons in the fire right now.

But it does bring up today’s question for ya:

If you were suddenly laid off from the job you know best, and the prospect of finding another job in that field were pretty dim – what would you think about doing instead? What could you do?

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What is it about limits that make us human beans get all riled up inside? And why do we insist on kicking against any kind of limitations other folks may put upon us?

I was wandering around Discovery Green Park (it’s a small park in downtown Houston) a while back and one of the things I ran across was this stairway to, apparently, nowhere. It was tall and broad, made of very nicely laid brick, and – completely blocked off by this sign suspended on a chain!

Now, I gotta ask ya – is it just me? I’m tellin’ ya, whenever I see stuff like this, the first thing I want to do is, well, step right over the rope, chain or whatever, and go right in. I’m not alone, am I? Nope; thought not!

See, there’s this thing inside us that pretty much hates bein’ told what it can or can’t do, y’know? Now, is that a good thing, or a bad thing? Ah, now that’s the $49 question, don’t ya think?

The Good and the Bad

On the one hand, limits teach us some pretty good lessons, don’t they? I mean, when you’re a baby, and you reach for a hot stove, the alert and careful parent will tell you NO! in no uncertain terms. Wouldn’t you agree that’s a good limit? And when children go out in the backyard to explore and play, the fence generally defines the limits where parents might consider it to be “safe”, right? (There’s always a fence, of course; whether or not it’s physical is beside the point.)

I mean, those are good uses of limits, wouldn’t you say? They are there to help us survive childhood, for one thing. And in some cases, they give us the opportunity to, y’know, grow up!

On the other hand, there’s limits imposed upon us for other reasons, such as the one pictured here. Or, maybe they’re limitations imposed  by a business (we accept cash only, no checks), a government (you will pay your taxes and you will enjoy it!), or even a friend (no, you can’t come over tomorrow, that’s the day I get my house fumigated). Augh! What’s a body to do?

A Stop Sign – or a Green Light?

Most of the time, those limitations you encounter every single day of our lives are so mundane and accepted that you may not even think about them. And that’s as it should be, don’t you think? I mean, if you had to stop and decide whether to accept every limit placed upon you every time it happened, you’d never get anywhere!

But what about the limits imposed upon us by other folks – that keep us from something you’re convinced is worthwhile? Ah, now that’s a pickle of another persuasion, isn’t it? When that sort of thing happens, it sorta riles you up, now, don’t it?

You find yourself sayin’ something along the lines of, Now who the heck do you think you are, anyway, to tell me I can’t climb that mountain, fly that high, or (feel free to fill in the blank here)?(Usually to be accompanied by a humph! or two.)

That’s what usually happens with me, anyway. In fact, I remember thinking that very thing (along with the humph!) a long time ago when a friend of mine told me it was “too late” to go back to school and finish my degree. After all, he pointed out, it’s been twenty years since I was in college. Besides, why bother? he said; what will it get you?

But you know what? It wasn’t!

In fact, I finished my Bachelor’s degree almost twenty years to the month after I started it! (Like I always say, I may not be smart – but I am slow!) Not only that, just for the heck of it I went on to get a Master’s and a Doctorate, too. No limits here, I’ll tell ya! As for what it’s given me, well, that would take a lot more than a simple blog post. Suffice it to say, it’s made a difference.

What Makes the Difference?

The fact is, limits can impose restrictions upon your actions – or they can cause you to rise up to even greater things, can’t they? What makes the difference?

Now, that is one interesting question, don’t you think? And after thinkin’ about it for a while, I decided to open up the floor for that one. So now it’s your turn!

Why do some folks hit a limit of some kind and stop (or turn aside), while others find ways to get around the limit and keep on’ goin’?  What makes one limit “firm”, while another one is really a sorta “call to arms”, if you get my meanin’ – a challenge to greatness?

I’m not sure there are any hard and fast rules here, but if you know of some, I’d be interested to hear ‘em! In the meantime, I’ll leave the light on for ya, OK?

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This is an entry for this month’s What I Learned From Limits groupwrite project. Hey, there’s plenty of time left and you’re welcome to join us if you like; just follow that link there and read all about it!

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Wandering around Discovery Green Park in downtown Houston one morning a few weeks ago, I was not surprised to find every single park bench had a dedication of some kind. You know what I mean, right? Along the lines of, “In memory of…”, or something similar.

Hey, it’s a time-honored way of remembering those who’ve come before us, and perhaps may no longer be with us. I often wonder what stories are contained within those few brief words.

However, as I was about to leave the park, I ran across this one, in which a slightly different sentiment is expressed: MAKE EVERY MOMENT COUNT.

I’m tellin’ ya; have no idea who the Reckling family is (all 46 of ‘em; yeesh, can you imagine the run on the bathroom in the mornings?), but I’ll tell ya; I am now a big fan!

Yessir, now that’s a sentiment that gets the ol’ ticker turnin’ over, ain’t it? I gotta say, as a kick-start to the day, it was a heckuva great one!

So allow me to pass it on to y’all today – along with a big ol’ tip o’ the hat!

MAKE EVERY MOMENT COUNT

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I was in the doctor’s office for my annual 100,000-mile checkup not too long ago. Prognosis: pretty good, actually. I’m generally healthy, and everything still seems to be tickin’ along nicely.

Over by the wall stood this typical doctor’s scale. You’ve most likely seen ‘em, haven’t you? You stand on that plate at the bottom (wearing as little as possible so the danged thing doesn’t mistake that giant Rodeo buckle and ten-gallon hat for excess flab) and then you slide the little weights back and forth on the bars until it balances. Then you read the numbers inside the holes in the weights.

If you look closely in the photo, this one reads 195 pounds. The thing is, that’s not my actual weight. Alas, my current, um, gravitational quotient is a mite higher than that. (But for now let’s keep the actual number my little secret, ‘K?)

The Target

No, what this things shows is my target. See, for the last several months I’ve been on a (sound of terrified scream) diet. My goal is to get back to the weight I believe to be optimum for me – 195. Unfortunately, a few too many cookies, a little too much ice cream… well, let’s just say I’ve not been living the best lifestyle when it comes to food, y’know?

Anyway, Mrs. MZM and I mutually made the decision (hey, it’s true – although I believe the words, “or else” were in there somewhere) to get healthier. Yep; we started doing all the right things: watch what we eat, make sensible choices, exercise regularly – you know, all the things we know to do already, but somehow, well, don’t.

Generally speaking, it hasn’t been as hard as I thought it would be (although I must admit; I do miss pie!) In fact, I’m kinda lookin’ forward to the day I hit my “fightin’ weight” and regain my girlish figure. And to help me along, I keep that target weight in mind now, even when I have nothing but poor choices in front of me. That target colors everything I think about when it comes to food.

The bottom line is, I know the goal, and even better – I know how to reach it.

And that’s good, y’know? It means the ol’ little gray cells are finally cooperatin’, and it’s about time, too! Nowadays, it’s a heck of a lot easier to choose something grilled instead of fried, or something healthy instead of just sweet. All because of that target.

The Target is the Goal

Have you got a goal? How do you visualize it? Did you know a clear visualization can be and extremely powerful agent in change? I bet you did. Sooner or later, everyone comes to the realization that you can’t get anywhere without knowin’ where you’re goin’.

So what’s your goal? How do you visualize it (or them)? Some folks use vision boards, some write out a plan, some share it with others who can help them stay on the right track. What’s your best method of imagining a goal? Share with us what works for you, won’t you?

Maybe by sharing, you can help someone else who’s struggling – and wouldn’t that be great accomplishment!

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There’s an old sayin’ that goes something like this: Great things come to those who wait. (Come to think of it, isn’t that the tagline from a ketchup commercial?)

Well, take it from me, it’s an old saying, ‘K? But as sayings go, isn’t there something missing? I mean, if all it took to receive great things was to wait, I’d be a rich and famous zillionaire several times over by now, y’know?

Obviously something’s missing.

Personally, I think the missing element to that particular sayin’ is, well, the challenge of workin’ for that great thing, don’cha think? I mean, sure having something nice fall unexpectedly in your lap is a favorite daydream for pretty much all of us, right? But how often does that happen? Not much, Bubba!

No, the most common, and likely more appreciated “great” things we receive these days are things we earn. Things we work for. They’re our just rewards for hard work or effort of something we had to do, y’know? And they’re not unexpected; no, not at all! They’re the prize for a job well done.

Cape Lookout, Oregon

A while back while living up in Oregon, Mrs. MZM and I took a weekend off to sorta tour the scenery along the coastline. I’ll tell ya; that is some beautiful country! I wouldn’t mind too much living in those parts permanently; in my humble opinion it’s got some of the finest coastline in the entire U.S., bar none.

Anyway, we were moseyin’ along in sightseein’ mode, toolin’ north along Hiway 101, when we noticed a sign pointing to something called Cape Lookout. Now it seems to me, one really fine way to catch a terrific scenic view of a coastline is to view it from a cape. So, we turned west on what was named, appropriately enough, Cape Lookout Road and prepared to be amazed.

Well, the road went up, then it went down. Then it twisted, then it turned, then it pretty much did the hokey-pokey and turned us all around! I’m tellin’ ya, I had NO idea which way we were goin’! (I had visions of rescue parties searching vainly for our vehicle… once someone realized we were lost, of course.) Eventually, though, we ended up at the top of a hill, and off to the side was the Cape Lookout parking area. Somehow we made it!

To our surprise, though, there was absolutely no view whatsoever. According to the sign, you had to *ahem* hike out to the point for the rumored view. (Up until now I’d heard of “hiking”, but have never actually seen it. Must be something those native Oregonians do…) Needless to say, we were a mite taken aback; talk about your bait-and-switch! It seemed kinda cruel to promise a spectacular view, then make you work for it, y’know? And worse, it looked like the trail led into a rather dense forest. What about the lions, tigers and bears (we said)? Oh, my!

Still, the promise of glorious sights… Anyway, we decided to throw caution to the winds and give it a shot. So we headed off into the deep, dark woods, keepin’ our eyes peeled for the aforementioned critters. Luckily, the trail appeared to be quite well travelled, so it was easy to follow. No breadcrumbs necessary at all.

I have to admit, once we got into it, the walk turned almost magical. The bright sunlight dimmed considerably as it filtered through the boughs of innumerable huge redwoods and other big trees.  The ground was covered by dense undergrowth, muting our steps, and everywhere the rich scent of green filled our noses with the perfume of rainforest. It was amazing!

The trail kept on going, and before too long we began to wonder just how far it might be. I mean, we were on a cape, so I figured we could only get so far in any direction before we got our feet wet, y’know? But after 20 minutes, there was still nothing but forest around us. I was about ready to turn back.

Finally, up ahead on the left, there seemed to be a much brighter area on the trail. That meant a clearing of some kind, so we decided to see if there were anything to see before turning back. It was like coming up to a corner of a building, then turning the corner and having this… incredible vista spread out in front of us!

Alas, that photo up there simply can’t do it justice. I’m guessin’ we were maybe 300 feet above sea level, and the way the sun played with the clouds and the mist thrown up by the wind… well, it was quite a sight! To this day, we’re grateful we had a chance to see it – even if we did have to work for it, y’know?

Keepin’ Your Eye on the Prize

I’ve said it before and it bears repeating: good things come to those who are willing to do what is necessary to achieve them. (Yes, I really said that; see my guest post at Confident Writing) And what’s really wonderful about those good things that – finally – come along is, they’re all the sweeter for the effort you had to put into it!

That’s the great reward for what you had to do. It’s like the goals you’ve focused on all these days, weeks or even years; when you finally hit the finish line, it’s sweeter than a big ol’ bowl of Blue Bell Banana Pudding Ice Cream! (And trust me Bubba; that’s some sweet dish!)

I’ll tell ya; the incredible view we got that day – it’ll always stay with us (and I don’t just mean as a photo, either). No, it was an all-the-more-fantastic and beautiful reward for the effort it took to find it!

So what prize have you got in your sights right now? Have you expended the effort to reach it? How much longer do you think it’ll take to achieve? What advice would YOU give someone in your place? Drop your suggestions in the comment box and let’s share the wealth of experience we represent with each other! Don’t worry; I’ll leave the light on.

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Photo: Windy Day on the Oregon Coast, by Robert Hruzek

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Have you ever heard this expression: “engraved in stone”? Generally speaking, it refers to something so sure, so predictable, it’s practically a foregone conclusion.

For example, it’s almost a sure thing that every time I drive by a certain well-known national chain ice cream parlor, I have to wrestle with the steering wheel on my car to keep the danged thing from pulling into their drive. Mrs. MZM would say that behavior is practically engraved in stone, y’know? (Alas, that’s a tough one to break; it’s, er, part of how I lost my *ahem* youthful figure – and ended up on this here diet!)

Anyhoo; the thing is, that behavior didn’t just happen overnight. Nope; I had to build it over time.

Building a Bad Habit

Back in 1985, when we first lived in Greenville, South Carolina, the road that took me from home to the office passed right by one of those aforementioned ice cream places. No big deal, you say? Well, this one had something we’d never seen at one of these things before: a drive-through window!

Alas, it was a recipe for disaster! (Well, I gotta admit, the inclination was already there.) All it took to cause me make a bat-turn in the middle of the road and slide up to the window, tires squealing like a stunt driver’s take a left instead of heading straight home after work was that extra little convenience.

Unfortunately, it wasn’t long before the results began to show up on the ol’ waistline, y’know?

But that’s the way bad habits work, don’t they? It may be something subtle at first, but you know how it goes, right? Before too long, it’s become a habit and you’re hooked! The problem, as we all know, is that once formed, bad habits can be oh-so-hard to get rid of. That’s because the behavior that produced the habit has become ingrained in our life.

What to do? Well, the best way to avoid the problem is to keep the bad habit from forming in the first place, right? So how do you head those pesky little things off at the pass?

How To Avoid Bad Habits

Here’s a couple of tips you can try. You just have to, y’know, do ‘em.

Know Yourself – Probably the most important weapon in your arsenal is to know your own strengths. And while you’re at it, get to know your weaknesses, too. I  mean, if you don’t even like ice cream, then Bubba, you ain’t got no problem at all when the ol’ Ice Cream Angel calls your name, right? Alas, most of us don’t fall into that category, so consequently have to admit that particular temptation has legs. But as they say in practically every guide to problem-solving I’ve ever read, the first step to solving a problem – is admitting there’s a problem! That ol’ sayin’, “forewarned is forearmed” has never been more true!

Know Your  Goals – The thing is, when it comes to this particular brand of ice cream, well, let’s just say if one of my goals was to become the World’s “Biggest” Project Manager and get my name in the record books, then I was certainly on the right track! However, since it, um, wasn’t, then obviously it wasn’t gonna help, y’know? Most of the time, all it takes is just a little thought to realize what’s good for your goals – and what’s not. Then all you have to do is, y’know, do the right thing.

Know Your Decisions Ahead of Time – Here’s the best weapon of all, and trust me on this, it’s something we can all do. Knowing that ice cream parlor was there (and I was pretty much forced to drive by it every day) well, I had to make the decision to NOT turn in – before the place was even in sight. I know it sounds simple, and it is. But the fact is, decisions of this nature just naturally are so much easier when you’re not in the midst of the battle, so to speak. Just decide , right now, what you’re going to do. Then, when it comes time to actually do it, you’ll find it so much easier!

Are There More Ways?

So what about you guys? How do you avoid bad habits? I’ve only listed three things; there’s bound to be lots more. Leave your suggestions in the comment box and let’s all have a big belly laugh learn something!

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Photo: Engraved in Stone, by Robert Hruzek

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I would say it’s a truism that pretty much everybody wants to “get ahead” to some degree, don’cha think? I mean sure, there’s probably a few folks completely satisfied with where they happen to be in life, but most of us haven’t quite gotten there yet, y’know? The only problem is… well, sometimes the path may seem a mite scary, don’t it?

Now, why should that be? I mean, it’s probably something you’ve been thinkin’ about for some time now, right? But don’t you find yourself thinkin’, down in your heart of hearts, Am I really sure I can do it? For one thing, you probably don’t really know what it’s like up there, right? I mean, you may have some idea, but what if you end up overextending yourself, exposing for all the world that you really don’t know what the heck you’re doing?

What if you finally move up to that next level – and instead of earning those accolades you truly deserve, you end up doin’ the crash-and-burn instead?

Hey, if you’re anything like me (and if so then sincere condolences to ya!), I bet your mind has replayed these thoughts – or perhaps something similar – to yourself a time or two. Especially when it came time to makin’ that move for advancement, right? Or, not even necessarily advancement; it just coulda been something you’ve never done before. Heck, maybe you were even simply starting a new job. You know; those “first day” blues, when it feels like you’re bein’ watched by everyone else to see if you really measure up.

I’ll tell ya; that feeling – well, it’s pretty common. The fact is, we all get a mite nervous when it comes time to proving that what we believe about ourselves is really true, y’know?

The Dragon Stairs

During my stay in Taiwan back in 2000, I had a driver that took me to and from work. Believe me, that was a real blessing! All those zillions of cars, myriads of scooters and motorcycles – and everyone driving like a maniac. Yeesh!

Depending on the weather or the traffic density (or heck; for all I knew it coulda been based on the current phase of the moon), we usually followed three or four different routes to the office. I’ll tell ya; I really got to enjoy being driven to work; it gave me plenty of time to see the sights along the way. I’m just sorry I wasn’t blogging back then; I probably would have noticed a lot more…

Anyway, one day we passed a certain spot and out of the corner of my eye a… something caught my attention. Unfortunately, by the time my brain did a double-take made me turn to look again, it was gone. I found myself wondering if I’d really seen what I thought I saw. So what did I see, you ask? It was a… well, if my momma hadn’t taught me not to swear, I woulda sworn I saw a big, um, er, dragon.

OK, I knew it couldn’t be a real dragon. Unfortunately, we’d already turned a corner on the narrow street and whatever I saw was already out of sight. But I resolved to look for it the next time we came that way.

A few days later, we passed the same spot again, and sure enough, it was a dragon! I tapped the driver on the shoulder, held up my camera and pointed. He smiled and pulled over, and I shot these two images of what I now call the Dragon Stairs.

One thing you have to remember. In Chinese cultures, dragons aren’t terrifying creatures; they’re good luck symbols. Thus, I imagine when the monks who live here used these stairs, they weren’t figuratively entering danger. No, they were partaking of a lucky omen.

You gotta admit, though; in Western cultures the dragon is a pretty scary critter, y’know? And somehow, even knowing it’s good luck in the minds of the monks at this temple wouldn’t prevent a slight involuntary shudder if I had to use these stairs. So bear in mind, what I have to say reflects my Western upbringing, ‘K? I’m just sayin’.

Here Be Dragons

Anyway, while contemplating being “upwardly mobile”, well, I kinda though about those stairs, y’know?

Like I said at the beginning, sometimes (OK, maybe most of the time), it can be kinda scary to move up to a level above what you’re used to (and are familiar with). That’s only natural; we all feel a bit of trepidation when we face the unknown, no matter how prepared you feel you are.

I’ll give you an example that’s happened to me quite a few times.

Every time I start a new project, there are new people to get to know, a new set of clients to deal with, a new project manager. And I know they have certain expectations of me when I come on board.

And that’s to be expected, right? After all, they’ve all reviewed my resume, perhaps talked to a few of the folks I’ve worked with before – or not – and they’ve built up this, well, expectation of who I’ll be and what I’ll accomplish for them.

But the reality is, unless I’ve worked for them before, they don’t really know. So there’s pressure on me to perform, right? And that’s the scary part. Despite the confidence in my own abilities – not to mention experience – I still can’t help feel a mite “on the spot”, if you get my meanin’.

In fact, it’s a lot like it would be for me if I had to use those Dragon Stairs. Sure, it’s a mite scary lookin’, but if I’m headed upstairs, then there’s pretty much no choice, right? So I gird my loins, screw my hat down tighter, and (gulp), walk right into the dragon’s mouth. Hey, I know it’s only a stairway. But still, those teeth sure look sharp, y’know? (he said, laughing nervously)

But once I arrive on the next floor up, everything is all right again. I can no longer see the dragon, and it no longer bothers me. In fact, next time I take the stairs, I’d probably not be so nervous anymore. And soon there’ll come a time when I may not even notice that ol’ dragon’s teeth!

Until, um, maybe the next move up.

Food For Thought

As I said, probably most of us have experienced the “upwardly mobile” thing – or something like it – at least once. So today I have some homework for ya.

I want you to take a few minutes and think about what it was like the last time you “moved up”, “stuck your neck out”, “expanded your horizon”, or whatever you want to call it. Try to remember how you felt during the experience, who you encountered along the way, and as many details as you can. Then consider the following questions:

1. When was the last time you made a move upwards? You know what I mean, right? That time you took a chance and did something you’d never done before. You stepped out on faith and started a business, or you went for that promotion, or maybe you presented a proposal to your boss for a new line of business? What was it?
2. Think about the fears you encountered when first planning your move. What were they? Looking back on it now, were they realistic or unfounded? Compare how you feel about them now with how you felt about them then. Did you get support from coworkers, friends, mentors, etc., or was it an opportunity only you seemed to grasp?
3. What did you do to counter those fears? Were there any particular folks who helped you? In what way did their help make the difference?
4. If you had the opportunity, would you do it again? Why or why not?
5. Is there anyone you know who may be facing a similar situation – and could use some encouragement or help right now?

If you like, share your thoughts on the above questions in the comment box below. Heck, write about it at your own place and share the link with us here; we’d love to be a part of it! Don’t be shy; let’s learn together, shall we?

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Photos by Robert Hruzek

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Last Spring, while eating lunch at a local restaurant, Mrs. MZM and I decided to partake of the nice weather and enjoy our meal on their beautiful, vine-covered patio. We chose a table next to one of the poles supporting the sunshade roof.

After settling in, I noticed this vine growing out of a pot next to us. It kinda caught my attention because of the way the thing seemed to coil around itself like a small, wooden boa constrictor. (Very spooky, eating next to this thing, I’ll tell ya. I kept an eye on it the whole time, just in case it suddenly took a liking to my bacon cheeseburger. Or, er, me.)

But still, it’s an interesting object, don’cha think? The way it spirals and coils around that branch as if tryin’ to choke the life out of it!

When I see something like this, I’m often reminded of a classic story from the Bible known as the Parable of the Sower.

The Parable of the Sower

Here’s how it reads in the Gospel of Matthew, chapter 3, verses 3-8: “A farmer went out to sow his seed. As he was scattering the seed, some fell along the path, and the birds came and ate it up. Some fell on rocky places, where it did not have much soil. It sprang up quickly, because the soil was shallow. But when the sun came up, the plants were scorched, and they withered because they had no root. Other seed fell among thorns, which grew up and choked the plants. Still other seed fell on good soil, where it produced a crop—a hundred, sixty or thirty times what was sown.”

See, back in those days, when a farmer planted his seed, he couldn’t just go out to the barn and fire up the ol’ John Deere, y’know. Nope, he had to go out and work his fields the old fashioned way, hitchin’ up the oxen (if he was rich enough to own a pair – or maybe renting ‘em from Mordecai’s Rent-an-Ox) to do the plowing. And, they spread the seeds by hand.

Naturally, the idea was to get as much seed into the good, well-prepared ground as possible. But as the story illustrated, along the edges of the fields some would inevitably fall on the well-packed paths where birds could easily make a meal of ‘em. Some fell among the stones and sprouted, but quickly died from the hot sun with no soil to give them nourishment. Some of the seed fell and even took root among the weeds and brambles that grew along the outside of the tilled areas, but any possible growth was choked by the strangling growth.

On the other hand, the seed that fell on good ground, well, it grew and produced like crazy: 30-, 60-, even a hundredfold! Now that’s some good seed!

I’ll tell ya; it’s a great analogy, even today. Like any good parable (which is a story with Spiritual significance), nearly all of the elements of this story are metaphors. Jesus had to clear it up a few verses later, explaining to his slightly befuddled Disciples the seed was God’s word, and the field was the human heart. The various places the seed fell are indicative of some of the obstacles to the goal of spreading the Word.

Thus, the “good ground” meant a heart ready to receive and understand His message – and enjoy the benefits thereof – while the hard, stony ground on the foot paths was like a heart that had “hardened” itself to God’s Word. Likewise, landing in weeds and thorns might allow the seed to sprout, but eventually they choked the life and vitality out of them anyway.

Is Something Chokin’ YOUR Life?

Anyway, like I said, this vine reminded me of that story, and got me to thinkin’. (I hate it when that happens; you never know where it might lead, y’know?) Was there anything in my own life, I wondered, causing the main thing to no longer be the main thing?

I mean, I’m full of good ideas, y’know? But what is it that keeps me from doin’ what I need to do to turn my dreams into reality? That’s the crux of the matter, wouldn’t ya say?

Now, needless to say, this is a somewhat personal battle, so don’t go expecting any details or anything. (Besides, if anything interesting turns up, it’ll probably come up anyway in a future post!) But the question is also a valid one for you too, don’cha think?

So what about it, y’all? Is there anything in your life that’s sorta strangling the life out of what you SHOULD be doing? Is it time to get the shears out and, like Indiana Jones clearing a path through the jungle, whack those choking vines away?

Food for thought?

NOTE: This is yet another entry in our current What I Learned From… project. The topic this month is the World of Plants, and there’s still time for you to join us, y’all; all you have to do is follow that link and read all about it. But you better hurry; it closes to entries Sunday night, August 9!

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Photo: Constrictor, by Robert Hruzek

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Sitting there waiting for the light to change, I glanced over at the big truck next to me and behold, there’s this big ol’ shiny wheel! After a moment’s contemplation, I decided what the hey, whipped out the ol’ phone, and took the shot. (Amazing how camera phones have exponentially increased casual photography among the general population, isn’t it?)

I often take shots of seemingly random objects or scenes these days, since it’s usually a complete mystery what I’m gonna write about from one day to the next. That way, the day I a need a photo of a big, shiny, truck wheel, voila! there ya go! (Sometimes, though (as in today), the photo inspires the post.)

The other day I got to thinkin’ about that wheel, and it occurred to me there might be a lesson or two in it. See, a wheel has several important characteristics. For instance, it supports the tire and gives it its shape. It’s part of the chain of items that transfers power from the engine to the road. It also turns, and turns, and turns…

The Island Syndrome

Let’s think about those first two for a moment, support and power transfer.

John Donne once wrote, “no man is an island”. I think some folks have a hard time rememberin’ that, though. The truth is, everything we do both supports, and is powered by, a vast array of other folks – and their endeavors. The moment we start thinkin’ we’re all alone out here on this big rock we call Earth, that’s when we start to getting into trouble.

Are you a writer? Do you imagine yourself hiding out in some secluded spot, hammering out that Great American (or German, or Scottish, etc.) Novel, isolated from your fellow man and working totally on your own? Well… that turns out not to be the case. (Translation: Wrong!) Are you using a computer to write? Who built it, and sold it to you? What about that place you’re in? Where did that come from? How did you get there – drive or fly?

No, every one of us is dependent upon a vast supply chain of products and services that help us accomplish whatever it is we want – every single moment of every single day. Like the drive train for that wheel, it helps shape our lives and support what we want to do, using a continuous chain of energy transfer from one person to the next.

Big Wheels Keep on Turnin’

Although we often use the image of an endlessly turning wheel as a negative image (think: treadmills, endless repetition, doin’ somethin’ over and over, etc.), the fact is, that ability to rotate enables something quite extraordinary.

F’rinstance; let’s say that wheel-and-tire combo you see in the photo has a diameter of, say, 30 inches. OK, according to the rules of mathematics, that makes the circumference… (let’s see; the formula is Ï€ x D – oops, not enough fingers; gotta take my shoes off for this one…) about 7.85 feet. Not really all that far, is it? But, if you roll that wheel along its axis, slightly more than 672 times, it’s travelled a whole mile!

You know that sayin’: “Practice makes perfect”? Well, it’s sorta like a wheel, turnin’ and turnin’ and turnin’. If you practice something enough, you’re bound to get it right – or at least, better at it, right? Pretty amazing to think that, just like a wheel, by doing a very simple thing, such as repeating an activity over and over, you may actually accomplish some pretty great things, can’t ya?

Just Curious

It occurs to me that most of us are workin’ on something – doin’ our level best to get better at it. As for me, I’m tryin’ to be an author, so I practice writing. Every story is another turn on the wheel. Ever wonder why lawyers and doctors call their work a practice? Because every time they do what they do, they learn something new, and – presumably – get better at it.

So what are you practicing? What are your plans? What is it you’re doing, over and over again? Color me curious…

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Image: Big Wheel, by Robert Hruzek

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Question: Do predetermined pathways dictate – or inhibit growth? Can they do both? Neither? What do you think?

Something I saw the other day made me think about these and a few related questions for a bit (which probably explains that gosh-awful noise you’ve been hearing lately).

On the Grid

Located right next to of one of my favorite local beaneries (Café Express in The Woodlands), there’s this geometric metal grid. It’s nothing special; merely an array of black-painted, square metal rods mounted on a wall. The building’s surface behind it is slightly bowed, causing shifting shadows from the afternoon sun to create a subtly-changing pattern within the rigid, perpendicular lines.

A vine, just beginning its quest for world domination, grows along the bars – first geysering vertically upward, then slithering horizontally outward. Its delicate, questing tips flow in a continuous snakelike spiral around the metal rods, seeking their boundaries as all living organisms tend to do.

Have you ever watched a climbing vine take over a trellis? As a pastime, it’s about as exciting as watching your hair grow, I’ll tell ya. But still… vines are ‘waaaay more interesting.

They initially follow paths created by the structural members of the trellis itself. You’ll see little questing tendrils twining ’round the bars, always heading upward and outward. In short order they thicken, and leaves appear along the strands. Occasionally a new stem pops out, going in yet another direction, all of ‘em racing away from the center of growth like an exploding green star – in slow-motion, of course.

Back at the heart of the mass of greenery, where the most mature growth is, you’ll eventually see the vines and leaves thicken until they begin to extend outside the directions initially dictated by the trellis itself. Soon, given time and the right conditions, there’ll be nothing visible of the framework that may (or may not) still hold the whole shebang upright.

Fruit of the Vine

C’mon, show of hands: Whenever you encounter limitations or boundaries – or have your pathways dictated for you – don’t you tend to become prone to the three R’s: Rant, Rave & Resist? But (and here’s the $64,295,176 question) then what do you do?

After wracking my brain for a few minutes (sound of brain, being wracked) I came up with several possible responses – fruit, if you will, of this particular vine of thought:

Stop – We can simply come to a stop, forgoing further growth in that particular direction. Is this a valid choice? Well, the answer is a most definite, “It depends.” Often we glibly forge ahead as if boundaries don’t matter. But sometimes it’s appropriate to stop going in a certain direction, isn’t it? Only you can determine if (or when) that point is reached, of course. Hey, all I’m sayin’ is, limits aren’t necessarily a bad thing; they may turn out to be a point beyond which it is not good to pass! (The edge of a 1,000-foot cliff comes to mind…) But is coming to a halt and growing no more the best choice?

Turn Back – You could, of course, turn around and go back. I mean, now that you’ve found your boundary, why try to go beyond it, anyway? After all, there’s plenty to seek and understand – and even explore – within the core of your own universe, right? Besides, there’s a certain vigor to be gained in growing bigger and stronger “within the core”, if you get my meanin’. But there’s an inherent danger of becoming “ingrown” if we turn back upon ourselves.

Change Direction – Just because you’ve hit a wall doesn’t mean you can’t keep growing. After all, there’s plenty of other directions you can choose other than going back the way you came. By fully exploring the boundary, you just may find a way around it. That’s how most people cross a river, by exploring in both directions until they find the best way, right? Nothing wrong with that. Besides, it’s still a new and unexplored path, filled with opportunity.

Upon further reflection (yet more grinding), there’s yet another choice, wouldn’t ya say?

Bust Through – There are certainly times when the right choice really is to bust right through that ol’ barrier and just keep on goin’. After all, human history is filled with great examples of that one. I mean, where would innovation and invention be if “beyond this point there be dragons” were the absolute last word on anything?

Ya Pays Yer Money and Ya Makes Yer Choices

Now, having carefully built the trellis and delineated the boundaries of choice for you here, it sorta begs yet another couple of questions, doesn’t it?

Let’s say you’ve encountered a limitation of some kind lately. (I know; it never happens to you. If that’s the case – pretend.) Now, which of the four options did you choose and – and perhaps more importantly – why?

OR… is there yet another option I failed to mention?

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Photos:

Geometric Growth 1, by Robert Hruzek

Spiral, by Robert Hruzek

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