[Note: Since we're in the middle of our "What I Learned From Stress" groupwrite project - and this article is stress-related - hey, I'm countin' this one too. You can join us if you like! Just click the link and read all about it! - Ed.]

Have you undergone stress in your job lately? Are things turning out different than what you expected? Has a situation come up lately at work that you have absolutely no idea how to handle?

Well, Bubba, if you can answer “yes” to any of these questions, then consider this poor fellow’s predicament…

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Upon returning to Charlotte after one of his famous Crusades, Billy Graham was picked up at the airport by an absolutely huge stretch limousine. I’m tellin’ ya, that was one impressive set of wheels!

As they headed home, Billy tapped on the glass and, once the driver lowered the partition, the two of them began discussing the particulars of the fabulous vehicle. As it turned out, the limo was brand new. In fact, it was the very first pickup the driver had ever made in it.

“You know, I have never driven a limo,” Billy said in that characteristic voice of his. “Do you think I could drive it?”

Somewhat taken aback, the driver wasn’t sure how to handle this one. So he tried stalling for time. “Well Mr. Graham,” he stammered, “I really don’t know if that’s allowed. After all, it’s a brand new car and I’m responsible for it.”

But as we all know, Billy Graham was nothing if not persuasive.

“Please, it would mean a lot to me,” he told the driver. “I’m a good driver and I promise you it will be all right.”

Finally, the driver pulled over and they swapped places. Unfortunately, Billy was not used to such a powerful car and unknowingly drove a bit too fast. Thus, it was no surprise that before too long they heard the sound of a police siren. Sure enough, a motorcycle cop was signaling for him to pull over.

As the officer sidled up to the driver’s side, Billy rolled down his window and handed out his driver’s license. The policeman, who of course instantly recognized Mr. Graham, took the license and, without saying a word, walked back to his motorcycle, fired up his radio, and called the Sergeant on duty.

“Sarge,” he called urgently, “I’ve got somebody really important pulled over for speeding, and I don’t know what to do!”

The reply was quick. “Who is it, the mayor?”

“No sir; more important than that,” the cop replied, sweat beginning to appear on his brow.

There was a short pause. “Don’t tell me you pulled over the governor!”

“No, Sarge, he’s way bigger than that!”

There was an even longer pause, followed by a somewhat hysterical reply. “Please don’t tell me you pulled over the President of the United States! If you did, you’re in a heap of trouble!”

“No sir, it’s not the President. In fact, I’m not sure who it is,” the distraught officer said. “But I have a feeling it could be God, ’cause Billy Graham is his driver!”

It Happens to All of Us, Sooner or Later

OK; show of hands. How many of you have ever felt like that poor hapless police officer? Yup; thought so.

Truth be told, you’re probably not alone. Nearly all of us have been in situations where we had no idea what to do next. So it’s kinda pointless, don’t you think, to ask the question, “So, uh, what did you do then?”

Ah, but wait! (I know; that sounds like the come-on from an infomercial, but bear with me a few more moments here.) Maybe there’s more to this that meets the eye. Could there be a glimmer of hope for all of us poor shmoes (note – rhymes with “toes” – Ed.) who’ve suffered those awful moments when utter confusion finds us locked into a feedback loop of epic proportions?

One thing about a personal crisis – it always seems like such a wall, doesn’t it? And not just any ol’ wall; no, we’re talkin’ a high, smooth, unscalable wall that stretches to infinity and beyond – in both directions. There’s no way to see what’s on the other side, and the only thing you know for sure is that it hurt like heck when you run smack-dab into it!

If you’re anything like me (and if so, then my condolences), you’ve experienced one or two of these moments in your life, I’m sure. Maybe more than a few. And it occurs to me that for you, like me, there is one thing we can say for sure about surviving a crisis.

Yep; one thing we know, and can agree categorically to be true, from personal experience. Are ya ready? (Maybe you might want to get a pencil and write this one down, folks.) OK, here it comes: We survived.

(sound of crickets…)

Hrm. Well, that didn’t exactly generate the rousing chorus of applause I was hoping for. OK, I realize this statement may not seem like all that, of course. But think about it for a moment (sound of millions of grinding gears). The fact is, you’re here now. And once, you were, you know, there.

So, ask yourself: How in tarnation did I get from there… to here?

What to Do When You Have No Idea What to Do

May I humbly suggest at least one or more of the following things:

Throw a Hissy Fit

I’ll be the first to admit, you probably won’t find this step in most “How to” manuals. And maybe you didn’t do something quite so dramatic (unless you’re a, you know, drama queen – in which case I say: go for it!)

The fact is, hitting a wall hurts. It doesn’t feel good at all. You may just want to feel frustrated, disappointed, or downright angry. Especially if the situation isn’t, you know, fair. (Um… need I point out that life, well, isn’t? No? Good.)

So I say: Hey, go ahead and feel the way you want to feel! After all, you’re human, right? (And if you’re not, then please don’t, er, eat my face or anything.) You are a living, breathing, feeling person, so go ahead and allow yourself to feel, OK? It’s perfectly natural.

Oh, don’t get me wrong; bouncing back is important. Very important. But too many times we try to rebound without allowing ourselves time to feel the emotions that are actually in our hearts. Give yourself that time to purge yourself.

Think of it as therapy. Go ahead; you’ll be glad you did.

Get Back Up

There’s an interesting little word picture the Apostle Paul uses in the Bible to illustrate spiritual battles. (What? You didn’t realize you’re in a [non-physical] war? Better wake up and smell the gunpowder, y’all!)

Paul likens it to putting on the armor of a Roman foot soldier. Along with a helmet, there’s a girdle (it sorta pulls all the loose ends of the toga together so nothing flies free while in a battle), a breastplate, leg and foot coverings, a shield, and a sword.

Now, you put all that stuff on and you’ve got one formidable warrior! Then, once the battle begins and those attacks come (which he likens to flaming darts or arrows), hey, they just bounce right off. But then he says something interesting. He adds, “… and having done all, to stand…”

Now, what does that mean? Well, to me it means that no matter what – no matter how hard or how frequent the enemy strikes you, even to the point of causing you to fall down – well, if you can do nothing else – not even fight – then at the very least, get back up!

See, if when you’ve been knocked down (and trust me; it happens to all of us), and then get back up again, you’re making a very important statement. You’re saying, “I’m not quitting! I’m not giving up! I’ll come back!”

But when you’re lying there, you’re saying, “I quit! I give up! Leave me alone!”

So which one of these two would you rather be? Yep; thought so. Good for you!

Try Something New

You remember the definition of insanity, don’t ya: Doing the same thing over and over while expecting different results. I gotta admit; I’ve not only been there, but I’m pretty sure I once owned a condo there. Talk about frustrating! So why not try something different? Truth be told (and I despite what you may have heard), it probably won’t kill ya! No, I’m serious.

Why are we so resistant to doing things differently? I mean, it’s true that for the most part, we all hate change – even when we say different. But even though we might have to be dragged, kicking and screaming into something new, more often than not we find out it’s really not so bad “on the other side”. Ever experienced that? Yup; me too.

So why not shock yourself – and the rest of the world – and head for the change on purpose (sound of shocked gasps)? Not only will it change the way you look at things, it’ll put all those watching you off their guard. Heh-heh-heh…

Take a Step Back

Y’know; before you hit the wall, and maybe even before you started doing that thing you were doing when you hit the wall, you were doing something, right? Then maybe the thing to do is just keep on doing what you already know to do.

After all, chances are fair to middlin’ that at least something you’re doing is perfectly OK, right? I mean, you’re breathin’, right? Well, that’s good; go right on breathin’ then. How about sleeping? Are you still sleeping at night? (All right; these are slightly silly examples. But so what? Made ya think, didn’t it?)

Chances are, though, that going back and simply continuing on with those things we know to do – and actually, you know, work – will give us a valuable commodity to play with: time. Time to figure out just what you really want to accomplish.

Ah, time! What a luxury to have the time to think things through for a change, eh? Well, by keepin’ on keepin’ on, you just might gain the time you need to do that very thing. Pretty neat, huh? (See? Proof: That thing my hat is resting on ain’t just a hatrack!)

(Your Suggestion Here)

OK, lest I write too much and close the book on reader’s contributions, I’m stoppin’ right about here. (Actually… I’m stopping exactly here.) Besides, I think the pump is primed enough by now, don’t you?

So what about it folks? What are the things you find yourself doing – when you have no idea what to do? Share them, if you would. Or maybe you’d care to add, modify, supplement, rebut or stomp on any of mine. It’s all right; I can take it!

Hey, the comment box is open; tell us what you think.

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It’s not exactly the Question of the Ages. But still, it kinda makes you wonder:

How does one make the connection from a horse’s rear to a Space Shuttle?

Then again, maybe it is the Question of the Ages.

Either way, it’s an interesting question, don’t you think? I mean, notwithstanding the obvious jokes about horses’, er, posteriors, this is actually a great opportunity to illustrate a very simple, yet powerful learning technique. What you do, see, is pretend you’re 4 years old.

For those of you who have young children (or have been around them for more than 2.43 minutes), take a moment and think about what their most *ahem* endearing quality might be (sound of clock ticking – ding!). Right you are!

They love to ask, “Why?” And what’s more, every single freakin’ answer you give only serves to regenerate the feedback loop with yet another “why” question. Every. Single. Time.

The funny thing is, it’s a technique most consultants find quite useful, too. No, really! The main difference is, we usually recognize when the person being asked the questions is about to explode… so we stop. The beauty of this technique though, is, if we ask enough “why” questions, we’ll soon get to the *ahem* bottom of matter. (Bwa-ha-ha-ha-ha! Sorry.)

Have you ever tried it?

I’ll illustrate what I mean with this little story I recently ran across:

Consider… the Railroads

The U.S. standard railroad gauge (which is the distance between the centerline of the rails) is 4 feet, 8.5 inches. Now, you may realize (or you may not) – that’s an exceedingly odd number. Why on earth was that particular dimension used? Well, as it turns out, it’s because that’s the way they built them in England, and English expatriates built the US railroads. But let’s not stop there; let’s keep asking “why” and see where it leads.

Why then did the English build them that way? Because the first rail lines were built by the same people who built the pre-railroad tramways, and that’s the gauge they used. OK, I’ll buy that. But why did they use it? Aha! It’s because the people who built the tramways used the same jigs and tools that they used for building wagons, which used that particular spacing between wagon wheels.

All right, then why did wagons use that odd wheel spacing? Well, if they tried to use any other spacing, the wagon wheels would break on some of the old, long distance roads in England because that’s the spacing of the wheel ruts. (Think of it as, “finding the groove”, so to speak.)

Huh? Wheel ruts? What’s that got to do with anything?

Now, at this point ya gotta be asking yourself, who built those old rutted roads? Well, as it turns out, it was Imperial Rome. They built the first long distance roads in Europe (and in England) for their legions. And, they’ve been in use ever since.

And the ruts in the roads? Pretty interesting, actually.

Roman war chariots formed the initial ruts, which of course everyone else had to match – for fear of destroying their own wagon wheels. And, since the chariots were made for Imperial Rome, all wheel spacing was the same.

Therefore the United States standard railroad gauge of 4 feet, 8.5 inches is derived from the original specifications for an Imperial Roman war chariot. How wonderfully convoluted is that?

But hold on, pardners; it gets better.

So, the next time you’re handed a Specification (or a Procedure or even a Process) and that little thought crosses your mind, What horse’s backside came up with that? well, you may be closer to the truth than you think.

The fact is, Imperial Roman army chariots were made just wide enough to accommodate the rear ends of two war horses (as in, two horses’ rears). Ironic, huh?

Bureaucracies Live Forever.

Now for, as Paul Harvey would say, the rest of the story.

So let’s consider… the Space Shuttle on its launch pad. See those two big booster rockets attached to the sides of the main fuel tank? Those are solid rocket boosters, or SRBs (think of them as humongous, and very expensive, bottle rockets). It just so happens that all SRBs are made by Thiokol at their factory in Utah.

Engineers who designed the SRBs would have preferred to make them a bit fatter, but the SRBs had to be shipped by rail from the factory to the launch site in Florida. Now, the railroad line just happens to run through a tunnel in the mountains, so naturally the SRBs had to be designed to fit (otherwise you just end up with two humongous, very expensive, er, corks).

The tunnel is slightly wider than the railroad track, and the railroad track, as you now know, is about as wide as two horses’ backsides. Therefore, one of the major Space Shuttle design features (the diameter of the boosters) of what is arguably the world’s most advanced transportation system was determined over two thousand years ago by – yep, you guessed it – the width of a horse’s rear.

And all this time, you thought being a horse’s rear wasn’t important!

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OK, OK, if you’re like me (and if that’s the case, then sincere condolences are in order), you probably wondered if this story was, you know, true. Surprise! It’s… not. The fact is, there are plenty of discrepancies that can easily be disputed.

But so what? Even Snopes opens its rebuttal with the words: “This is one of those items that – although wrong in many of its details – isn’t exactly false in an overall sense…” (Huh? “Isn’t exactly false”? Try using that defense in court!) No, the point is, it still illustrates the power of asking, “Why” ad infinitum.

So the next time you’re faced with something inexplicable, try turning into a 4-year-old. Hey, you never know what you might learn!

Tell Me About It

So what about it, folks? What was the most amazing, interesting, outrageous, ridiculous, crazy, profound, surprising, or (insert descriptive here) thing you’ve ever learned – just because you dared to ask “why” more than once?

Photo credits:

Don’t be a horse’s [ed. - "rear"], by sfPhotocraft

Maine Central Railroad, by mjsawyer

Space Shuttle Discovery, by GISuser

[Note from the Proprietor: In case the aliens have only last night returned you to Earth and you missed it, before you proceed I highly recommend you first go here and read Part 1. I'm just sayin'.]

OK, the question before the jury, ladies and gentlemen, is from Brad Shorr’s post, “Try”:

What do you do when you hit a brick wall?

Before going on, let’s quickly review where we ended up at the end of Part 1 (and remember, we’re interchanging the words brick wall with the words problem or challenge): Every time we encounter a challenge, there are two things that usually dictate how we’ll respond:

• Worth - Is the prize worth the struggle?
• Motivation - What’s my motivation?

Alrighty then; now that we’re up to speed, let’s move on. You may recall that Part 1 ended with a call for contributions to that vast repository of information known as the General Body of Knowledge. Well, time’s up (sound of buzzer)! Remember, as is typical in life, generally there’s more than one answer to any question of this nature.

The Readers Speak Up

Let’s pass the microphone over to you guys for a bit and see what you had to say. (Please note this is not a definitive list, it’s just to get the ol’ brain cells to tick over once or twice.)

• Trust Your Feelings. One way Jackie Cameron recognizes a brick wall is when “things don’t feel right”. Very astute, Jackie! Many times, if we’ll tune in to our surroundings we can often sense “something” isn’t right – even if we can’t tell what, exactly it might be (the “drat; I know I’m missing something here” syndrome). Life Lesson: Never underestimate your own intuition! I’ll tell ya; it would take a whole herd of books to catalog all the times I’ve been saved from disaster by stopping to just “feel out” the situation. (OK, let’s be honest here; it was mostly Mrs. MZM’s intuition, not mine, but let’s not quibble details, shall we? Me, I tend to blunder ahead like a brontosaurus.)
• Break It Down. Brad Shorr likes to break the challenge down into smaller pieces and take them one at a time; eventually they get easy enough to solve. It’s the ol’ “start in the middle” technique. This is a good one if the challenge is made up of lots of little things that can be done independently (if you think about it, many challenges may be like this; come to think of it, it’s how I wrote this particular blog post). Life Lesson: Identify the components a challenge is made up of and do the easy parts first. Sometimes a challenge is like a big, tangled knot; once you manage to work loose even a tiny part of it, it’s the key to unraveling the rest! So rather than get all hot n’ bothered about the parts you can’t do, work on the ones you can.
• Leverage Past Successes. Similarly, GL Hoffman leverages his experience to overcome challenges. Hey, you already know it can be done; it’s just a matter of repeating it. Of course, it’s a bit more powerful if you’re the one who did it, but still. Life Lesson: Take advantage of experience whenever you can. You know; you may find that most challenges fall into categories, each of which takes certain techniques to solve. Look for examples you can use to solve them. Why reinvent the wheel, anyway?
• Confront It. Another method is a kindof “look yourself in the mirror” technique. Jackie Cameron also likes to just ask herself, out loud, “OK you – just what is the problem here?” Notwithstanding the talking to herself thing, I’d say this isn’t bad. Have you ever been around someone so negative you just wanted to slap ‘em silly give ‘em a good shake say that to? Yeah, thought so; me too. Life Lesson: Sometimes you have to confront the problem right to its face. There will inevitably be times when it’s good to just point your finger at the problem and ask, “So what’s the problem here?”
• Seek Inspiration. Now here’s an interesting one. When stuck trying to write a poem or a story, Marcus Goodyear seeks inspiration by reading similar material. Can’t say I’ve ever purposefully tried it, but it sorta rings true just the same. I mean, there’s nothing like a good story to inspire another one, you know? (Seriously; just observe a bunch of guys in any gathering as they attempt to “one-up” one another’s stories.) Life Lesson: Good examples can sometimes provide keys to unlocking a challenge. It’s like Amy Palko’s photography: it inspires me to try something similar – and I’m not even a photographer!
• Question Everything. Karen Hanrahan likes to utilize lateral thinking when faced with challenges (yes, that’s what you’re doing, Karen!) By writing it all down in a journal she ends up with a “bird’s eye view” of the problem. It’s sorta like reading out loud – things just sometimes look different once they’re on paper. She finds it often provides the key to solutions. Life Lesson: Try examining the situation in a different way. A fresh look at the challenge may evoke things you may have missed. Asking for input from friends or trusted advisors can be very helpful – they’re not attached to the challenge like you are.

What About Bob?

Along about now you’re probably asking, “OK, Mr. Wisenheimer, so what about you?”

Well, after I’ve done the “run in circles, scream and shout” bit, and before I hit the panic button, I tend to approach challenges like… water.

You remember the water, don’t you? You remember how it behaved when it came up to a barrier of some kind, right? It eventually built itself up until it either went around, over, under or through whatever was in the way.

That’s the way water works. Given enough time (and as long as the water kept building), it simply couldn’t be contained.

In fact, it’s a little like project management: You just keep adding resources until the challenge is met and overcome. Then rinse and repeat for the next one. (Note: “Resources” is a word that includes just about anything you might need to accomplish something. Time, people, money, knowledge, etc. – they’re all resources.)

But what if your resources are limited, you ask? Once again, good question!

Well, I’ll tell ya; it’s hard to imagine you would ever run out of resources as long as you’ve got your friends out here! With the tools we have at our disposal these days, you can pretty much count on finding help for just about any challenge you may face. Why, just the other day I had a simple MS Windows question, and I used Twitter to get a quick and accurate answer (Thanks Chris!). Time expended: less than 5 minutes!

Now that I think about it, I realize that I’ve used most of the methods above at one time or another. And perhaps that’s the best lesson of all: There’s more than one way to do just about anything!

Talk to Me

So what about it, folks; what techniques could you add to this list? (C’mon; you know you want to!) When was the last time you overcame an insurmountable challenge? What did you do?

Expectations, n. things looked forward to; things regarded as likely to happen

All right; I’ll admit it right up front. The main reason we chose Hawaii as the destination of choice for our honeymoon was because I wanted to go someplace exotic and out-of-the-ordinary. Having been born and raised in Houston, Texas, it was a place so far out of my experience that I knew it would make our first few weeks together all that more memorable. Thus, I had rather high expectations (and not just because it was our, you know, honeymoon).

Now, before I go on, let me just say this: the entire experience was far beyond anything I ever imagined. Although we spent all our time on Kauai (except for the airport on the big island), we still managed to pack in quite a bit of excitement, adventure, and wonderful experiences. Truthfully, it was enough to last us a lifetime.

I have to say, though; at the very beginning, my expectations took a bit of a beating.

Expectation #1: Nice Digs

For instance, we reserved a suite at this resort, complete with lanai (which is essentially a large balcony) and a king-sized bed. Naturally, we expected a nice place – I mean, this is Hawaii, right?

Well, the room was pretty nice, I’ll give it that. Although it was pretty much the usual tropical resort-type place, it did have a fantastic view of Hanalei Bay (the room in this particular photo is pretty much exactly like our room and our view), and the lanai had a nice table and chairs on which we ate breakfast every day. But (and this was a BIG ‘but’, baby!) it had a double bed, not a king!

Now, I can tell you from experience, someone my height won’t fit on a double bed. So we called the owner of the suite and complained (not that there was much that could be done about it at this point, but still). She didn’t seem bothered at all that she had lied to us about the size of the bed (we specifically asked for a king). I mean, she had our money, so there wasn’t much we could do.

But the kicker was when Mrs. MZM told her I was too tall for the bed. You know what the owner’s brilliant solution was? And I quote: “Oh, no problem; just pull the couch over to the end of the bed and he’ll have plenty of legroom.” Unquote.

Well, as I said, we had certain expectations as far as accommodations. Alas, the reality was somewhat, er, less.

Expectation #2: Sunshine

I’ve already written (earlier this week) about the fact that our stay was somewhat, er, “solar-radiantly-challenged”. (This photo is exactly what Hanalei Bay looked like. Except for the gray, rainy skies. And, er, brown water. Click on it for a spectacularly larger view.)

Hey, when you go to Hawaii (or any vacation island destination, for that matter) one generally assumes there’s going to be plenty of sunshine and blue skies. I mean, it’s in all the pictures, right? (Yes, I know it rains a lot in Hawaii; how else would that lush foliage survive? But they still generally have plenty of sunshine, too.)

Again, the reality was less that expected.

Expectation #3: Great Island Experiences

I think I also mentioned the fact that our visit happened to be during the “off” season. What that meant was that many of the quaint little shops were closed, and in fact a lot of the more “mainstream” tourist attractions were, too.

See, in Hawaii, there’s at least one experience you simply must enjoy; it’s the epitome of the Hawaiian experience: you must, at all costs, attend a luau. Usually, the biggest challenge is picking one; they’re literally everywhere (at least during the tourist season, that is).

An authentic luau can be quite elaborate, with wonderful entertainment, native costumes and the inevitable hula lessons (something you can’t avoid if you’re going to visit Hawaii). Naturally, the best ones are at night (flaming torches makes the best lighting), and held outdoors (that photo is the sort of thing we’d, um, hoped for).

Alas, because this was the, you know, off season, the choices were somewhat limited. In fact, there was only one available on the entire island! But, we shrugged and went anyway, hoping for the best.

Well, this one was held in a sortof large barn-like structure with open sides; not out in the open like we’d hoped. (Probably a good thing since it pretty much rained most of the time anyway.) And, it had electric lighting, no torches. To make matters worse, the food was really not all that great, and the man across from us was totally drunk and rather obnoxious; we could tell his wife was pretty embarrassed.

Ah, well; yet again, it was less than expected *sigh*.

The Key to Managing Your Expectations

By now you’re probably thinking to yourself, “Man, this guy has nothing good to say about anything! Who is he, anyway – that new superhero, BummerMan?” But hold on there, Buckaroos; we’re headin’ for a point if I can just figure out what it is (sound of crowd grumbling and getting restless).

OK; so here’s my point.

Expectations are good things to have; in fact, I’d even go so far as to say we need ‘em. They give a point of reference, and – dare I say it? – even something to hope for. They serve as indicators that let us know what we’d planned or expected would happen, actually has.

The problem, though, is that expectations can sometimes get, for want of a better term, too big for their britches. You know what I mean, right? Let’s say you’re planning something (it doesn’t matter what), and you’ve got every last detail worked out. I mean, there is absolutely nothing left to chance. Everything is going to go your way, and that way is… perfect.

Um… yeah.

You know it’s true: hardly ever does anything go perfectly. In fact, the more planning that’s required, the more likely whatever-it-is will go awry, if you know what I mean. You might as well just face the fact that life is never perfect. It follows, then, that if when you have expectations, then sometime, somewhere, you’re going to experience disappointment.

So what’s a person to do? Never ever plan, hope or even dream, again? No, of course not, ya big galoot (sound of fist pounding on desk)!

The key to managing any expectation can be summed up in one single word: flexibility. Yep; that’s the secret. And that one word is the thing that saved us from disappointment on our trip. Oh, don’t get me wrong; we were still disappointed when some of our expectations weren’t met; at least temporarily.

But by allowing ourselves to be flexible enough to creatively respond to each disappointment, we turned what could have been a not-so-great moment into one that, even now, still brings back fond and wonderful memories.

For instance, to this day we hardly remember that ridiculously short bed. What we do remember, though, are the breakfasts we enjoyed every morning on our lanai, surrounded by lush tropical vegetation and entertained by a couple of cardinals that seemed to think we had invaded their own personal space. They were so unafraid of us, they practically hopped in our laps as we ate!

And the lack of sun wasn’t really that much of a problem, either. It certainly didn’t stop us from checking out all the incredible sights: picturesque waterfalls, beautiful beaches, incredible mountain vistas and spectacular ocean views. (Although because of the constant rain, all our pictures came out sorta dark and gloomy.) But because we were willing to stay flexible in all things, why, everywhere we went, we’d stumble across yet another surprise (like, f’rinstance, that time we accidentally stumbled – literally! – upon a couple of nude sunbathers!)

Expectations can be good; they give you something to look forward to. But managing your expectations with a liberal dose of flexibility will allow you to enjoy life so much better. That way, even when things don’t – quite – go like you expect, well, you can still have an experience just as good (or even better).

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Yes, today marks the 26^th Anniversary of the day Mrs. MZM and I gazed into each other’s eyes and proclaimed to all who happened to be present those two powerful, life-changing little words: “I do.”

I find it rather appropriate, then, that we just sorta happened to end this series of posts with that particular word, flexibility. Honestly; it wasn’t planned.

But if there were one single word that characterized how Mrs. MZM and I have coped with the ups and downs of our years together, it would be that one. Of all the blessings God could have given us, that one quality is what continues to turn every day into an amazing adventure that never ends.

You know, I am still completely overwhelmed with the amazing and wonderful fact that, of all the people God put on this planet, this wonderful woman agreed (finally!) that I was the one - and said “YES!”

That is something for which I will be forever grateful.

Happy Anniversary to the Love of My Life!

__________________________

For the rest of our Hawaiian Honeymoon adventures, see:

Hawaiian Honeymoon, Part 1: Dignity; Always Dignity

Hawaiian Honeymoon, Part 2: When Skies Are Grey

Hawaiian Honeymoon, Part 3: Underwhelmed

Surely you’ve heard the expression, “leave no stone unturned”, right? Sure you have! (I know, I know – and don’t call you Shirley.) Um, you’ll usually hear or use it while searching for something you know you have, but just can’t quite remember where you left it…

It’s often accompanied by a sense of panic (“… now where did I put those car keys?”), frustration (“Drat! I know this answer!”) or downright anger (Well, don’t ask me – I just handed it to you! – words which are usually followed by “you big doofus” or something, er, similar.)

But turning stones need not always be a negative concept, you know. It could also be related to… curiosity. Even as a kid (come to think of it, especially as a kid!) whenever there was something interesting in my path, I just had a natural inclination to stop and investigate it. You know what I mean.

When I came across a log, I couldn’t just step over it; oh, noooo. I had to get down on my hands and knees and check out what was underneath (ooh, lookit the pretty bugs). And if I encountered a stream, well, I simply had to put my fingers in it (gee, that’s a powerful wet, that is). A stone? Well, it might as well have had the message printed on it: Please turn me over.

It was like, I don’t know, a rule or something.

Over the years, that curiosity has occasionally gotten me into big trouble. You know that expression, “Curiosity killed the cat…”? Well, there was this one time…

On a trip to the beach at Galveston once (I was a tender young lad at the time – perhaps 3 or 4 years old) I was exploring the constantly shifting waterline when I found something really, really interesting (all right; it was shiny, OK?) Naturally, I picked it up; I mean, what kid wouldn’t?

Unfortunately for me, the shiny-looking object turned out to be a Portuguese Man O’War, (a type of jellyfish) washed up on the beach from the night before. (The photo at left is very likely what I saw half-buried in the sand. It’s not much to look at, is it?) Extremely bad news; this little critter’s toxin has been known to kill grown men.

Within moments, my hand, arm, and basically my entire little body went into a spasm of pain unlike anything I’d ever experienced before (or since, for that matter). Fortunately I was able to scream my head off before passing out – at least, enough to get help.

I don’t remember much else except ending up in the hospital. Although… there was the thrilling experience of tearing through downtown Galveston at high speed with a police escort. Now that was entertaining! (Don’t know why I remember that; but I do.)

Ah well; all’s well that end’s well, don’t you think? (After all, I’m still, you know, here.)

Anyway, back to the subject of curiosity…

See, to a child, the need to explore their world is pretty much, well, hardwired. After all, it’s how they first learn about their surroundings. Sadly, I think there’s a tendency to lose some of that curiosity bump as we get older and *ahem* “education” kicks in.

So what’s happening? Are we letting our education neurons displace our curiosity neurons as we get older? Has sophistication set in (a process not unlike the curing of very slow-setting concrete), and we can no longer allow ourselves to be interested in new things?

In other words, have we lost the freshness of life?

All I can say is, without the lure of curiosity, life would be dull indeed! No more challenges, goals, hopes, dreams… heck, there’d be no point in writing – and nothing to write about!

You want to exercise your curiosity? You can, you know – and it’s easy!

The next time you’re just strolling along, minding your own business – well, stop what you’re doing and, do something completely different! That’s right, friends; break out of the mold! Do something, as Monty Python was wont to say, completely different!

C’mon; take a chance you wouldn’t normally take! Heck, just turn the stone over!

[UPDATE:]

Augh! I completely forgot to mention (just washed my brain and can’t do a thing with it – sorry!) this post is my contribution to Joanna Young’s December theme, curiosity. If you’d like to contribute your thoughts, write a post or donate an organ or something to the topic, then why not drop by and see what it’s all about! Aren’t you even a little bit curious?

Alt. title: Why I Write Like Jethro Bodine (and thanks for the inspiration, Brian!) 

Has this ever happened to you? You hear a few words (or read them); perhaps some innocuous event occurs – or it could even be an encounter with a particular object – and suddenly you find yourself confronted with, or reminded of, a powerful memory?

Well, that happened to me the other day as I was reading an interesting article at Copyblogger from guest writer Brian Lash.

It was a stark and dormy night – er, sorry; wrong story. OK, let’s try that again…

A Simple Writing Assignment

I must have been in third or fourth grade (that would make me about 9 or 10 years old), and my English teacher had given us an assignment to write an invitation, addressed to our parents and their friends, for some big upcoming school event; I don’t remember what it was.

It wasn’t just a “date/time/and bring the kids” type of thing, either; we had to describe the event and explain why they should come. (I have no idea why such a writing assignment was given to us grade-schoolers, but what the hey.)

Anyway, I was pretty good in the English department (or so I remember – and I’m sticking to that story!) so as I thought about how to do my assignment, I was struck (sound of dull thud) by a sudden inspiration (sound of light bulb turning on)!

“Hey, why not write it in a sortof ‘down-home’ style?” I thought to myself. (I’m tellin’ ya, even I amazed myself with my brilliance sometimes!) “Yeah, that’s the ticket! I’ll pretend to be Jethro and write it like that!” (You know the fella, the Clampett’s son on the Beverly Hillbillies clan on TV.)

Well! I’m tellin’ ya folks, that writing assignment turned out to be a work of art, if I do say so myself! It was filled with “howdy’s” and “y’all’s”; man, I was droppin’ g’s right and left. It was so “down home” you could have nailed it to the front door of the Clampett’s mansion and no one would have thought twice about it.

After it was, er, done (a word Mrs. MZM hates, but I consider correct; it means go ahead and stick a fork in it), I had what I considered to be an invitation written with authentic style and – what the heck – considerable panache (a French word that means a pile of hot blueberry pancakes with melted butter and Apricot jelly on top – in a word, sweet).

Just Waitin’ for the Applause…

When I turned it in, needless to say I was quite proud of myself. I just knew it would stand out like a beacon from the dreck (a word that should need no translation!) the other students had surely turned in. (Hey, I was a kid; I still thought as a kid.)

Alas, it didn’t, er, quite turn out as I expected. The next day as our teacher returned our graded assignments, I was quite literally shocked to see a giant red “F” scrawled on the top of mine! My heart sank. Then… it got worse.

As I stared disbelievingly at the flaming shards of my incredible masterpiece, my eyes drifted down to the bottom of the page, where they finally zeroed in on the Words of Doom: “Please ask your parents to call me!” (sounds of terrified shrieking and wailing)

“Oh, man,” I thought frantically, “I’m in for it now!” Which was immediately followed by “How could such an incredibly brilliant idea turn out to be such a disaster?”

*ulp* (sense of impeding doom)

Climbing Out of the “Box” of Expectations

See, what happened was exactly what Brian described: when I tried to write “outside the box” of expectations, I ended up being severely reprimanded. Oh, sure, my attempt at colloquial prose may have been a bit over the top, but that’s not the point. In reality, I was exhibiting some truly innovative thinking (at least, for a 10-year-old)!

So how come the teacher (and as it turned out, my parents too – *sigh*) couldn’t see, and even more importantly, appreciate and encourage that kind of thinking? Why, oh why, I ask imploringly (sound of heartfelt sobbing)?

I ended up doing the assignment over, to their specifications. Ho hum; how boring.

Now, you may have noticed the writing style here at the Zone is sometimes a little, well, off the wall (which is a handy colloquialism that covers a wide range of sins; anything from a bit out of the ordinary to just plain whacko).

Hey, that style didn’t come easy! I first had to unlearn some of the formal writing style I had picked up over years of schooling. And mind you, it’s not that I’ve thrown away everything I had to learn. No, it’s just that I’m finally comfortable with the balance achieved between good grammar and good conversation.

I mean, the whole point of my writing here is to make connections with folks; in fact, it’s summed up quite nicely in my byline (that short blurb up there below my mug shot photo):

Middle Zone Musings is a comfortable place to stop, have a cup of coffee and exchange ideas, big or small, with applications in the real world. We don’t ask for much, just a bit of your brain every now and then. Have a seat, take a load off, and relax…

Old Joke: How can you identify an “Army toolbox”? Simple! When you open it, all you’ll find are 11 sizes of hammers!

You say you’ve got a job to do, and don’t know how you’ll accomplish it? You’re afraid you’ve bitten off more than you can chew, or you’re taking on something you’ve never done before, and you’re afraid you don’t have the tools for the job?

Well, before you hit the panic button, you might want to consider the following story…

Back during the Vietnam War, there was this fellow doing observation duty in a helicopter over the jungle when the pilot got a call to check out possible enemy activity at a certain point on a nearby river.

The only problem was, their observation chopper wasn’t even armed! And, getting close enough to fire their rifles meant, of course, the reverse would also be true. Definitely a sure way to shorten their military careers!

I mean, even if there was something going on, there was literally nothing they could do about it except report it. And naturally, by the time anyone else arrived, the enemy would probably be gone. But, they checked it out anyway, staying high enough to avoid danger.

Sure enough, there was definitely a boat down there, and by all indications it looked like they were preparing to unload supplies, probably armaments of some kind. They reported it immediately, of course, but continued to circle around for awhile in frustration, wishing there was something they could do.

Eventually, the fellow in the back noticed a big clunky toolbox strapped down on the deck, and suddenly had a moment of inspiration. He asked the pilot to hover over the boat for a few minutes, and then with much grunting and shoving, pushed the heavy toolbox out the door.

It was a bull’s-eye! Not only was it a perfect hit, but it penetrated both the deck and the hull, plunging to the bottom of the river. Then, to everyone’s amazement, within a few minutes the enemy boat sank!

Mission accomplished!

So the next time you find yourself facing some new territory, my advice would be to take stock of what you have. I mean, you never know; you might be surprised what you can accomplish with just the, ahem, tools at hand!