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Howdy, folks! Starting today and for the next few days we have a great lineup of guest authors here at the Zone for your reading pleasure. And a pleasure it will be, too! So stay tuned every day this week for a great lineup!

Today we have a guest post from my friend Karen Swim of Words for Hire. I first met her via Joanna Young’s blogging community at Confident Writing, and have always been blessed by her remarkable insights.

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What I Learned From Balloon Animals

by Karen Swim

I walked into church on Sunday and saw happy faces wearing balloons on their head. Now before we go any further, let me explain this is not a normal occurrence! While the atmosphere at church is always upbeat, there was a more festive mood today. I moved a little slower through the corridor as I wondered, if it was really Sunday. I had a tough week, was it Saturday? Was this Neighborhood Bible Camp?  Hey, was I even awake? I rubbed my eyes just in case and blinked twice. I mean I have been known to have vivid dreams and did sleep read as a kidI I gave my arm a quick pinch (Ouch!) and confirmed that indeed I was awake.

As I got closer to the sanctuary, I spotted my pastor wearing a goofy grin, a pair of shorts and a balloon animal on his head. Well, church was sure going to be interesting today!

A Joyous Celebration

I slid into a pew and opened the bulletin to see what was in store. On the front was a picture of smiling church members with suitcases and a scripture that aptly summed up their trip:

“The Lord has done great things for us, and we are filled with joy.” (Psalms 126:3, New International Version)

The pastor and a group of members had just returned from Bosnia and today were going to share tales of their trip.  Each member would share and there would be skits in between. Well this would be fun!

No Words Required

The team had spent 10 days in a rented home with one bathroom. Let’s just say they got to know each other pretty well. I listened intently as they described the wonderful people they met and the warmth they received. While in Bosnia they had gathered daily at a park where they performed skits, puppet shows, sang songs and painted the faces of children who gathered. The skits ranged from Paul Bunyan to bible stories and were performed without words.

I watched as each skit was performed without words but with a meaning so clear it could be understood in any language. The last skit was so moving, it brought tears to my eyes. It detailed the struggle of the Bosnian people and reinforced God’s love. Although I had not endured the war and hardship even I clearly understood the powerful message.

I left church with a balloon animal in hand and thought of the communication without words. I wondered how often I babble away at people in a foreign tongue. Do I chatter away about writing, marketing and social media in words that sound like jibberish to the uninitiated? Do I communicate my heart in the words that I write? Is my message clear to those who may not speak the same language?

From the Heart

The mission team was sensitive to the language barrier. While many of the Bosnian people spoke English the church team members came prepared to communicate on common ground. They were more concerned with connecting and building a relationship than “selling” their message. They allowed their hearts and their passion for helping people to guide their communications. As a result, bonds of friendship were formed and led to ongoing communication. One team member even bridged the sign language barrier (Bosnians use British Sign Language as opposed to American Sign Language) with a group of folks at an internet café.

I looked at the balloon animal and realized that while words can be powerful we may sometimes hide behind them. We put our words out front and use them to do the talking when what is really needed is our heart. I realized that I could do a better job of communicating without words. It was important to try to build a relationship that required no fancy terms or “special” language, to listen and understand the needs of others in their language before I ever attempted to present a solution.

I kept the balloon animal on my desk all week to remind me to allow my heart to shine through in all of my communications.  While I learn a lot at church, I never expected such a powerful lesson from balloon animals!

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Karen Swim is the owner of Words For Hire.  She combines marketing science and artful storytelling to help her clients capture the attention of their target audience. She blogs about life, shoes and other adventures at Words For Hire.

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[Note from the proprietor: This is one of a series (I don't know how many) on stuff I learned from our backyard garden.]

Don’t you love a good romantic “boy meets girl” story? I know I do - especially when there are tanks, and maybe space ships involved. (I dunno; maybe that’s just me?)

Anyway, here’s one that happened in our own back yard. (Alas; there were no tanks OR spaceships involved, though.)

I’d like to introduce you to Phil, and his friend, Queenie. (click on the photo for a much larger and clearer view)

Now Phil and Queenie are what’cha call Split-Leaf Philodendrons. However, if you want to get really technical and impress your friends and co-workers, you can call them by their Latin name: Philodendron bippinnitifidum, a wondrously rhythmic appellation that flows trippingly off the tongue in such a way that makes you want to tap your fingers in accompaniment. (Go ahead; repeat bippinnitifidum several times in a row - you’ll see what I mean).

When Mrs. MZM and I first saw Phil, he was a nothing remarkable; just an ordinary plant in a 3-gallon plastic container at the local discount nursery. Queenie was a smaller version in a 1-gallon container. To be honest, we weren’t even specifically looking for philodendrons; we just had an empty spot on our patio to fill. And having just returned from our year in Aruba, we wanted something, you know, tropical to remind us of *sigh* paradise lost.

Anyway, after wandering around the nursery for a while, we ended up in the area where they keep the plants under that black mesh thingie. You know; for the plants that aren’t supposed to have “full sun”. We spotted Phil among the many fine specimens, and before you could say philodendron bippinnitifidum (can you hear my fingers a-tappin’?), we had him and Queenie firmly nestled in their new pots on our patio: Phil on one side, Queenie on the other.

At least, we assumed it would be a good spot. I mean, there was no direct sun, plenty of indirect light, water every couple of days or so - what more could they want? In fact, they did pretty well at first; growing a bit as they settled in. Sadly, though, over the next few months we saw dismaying signs of unhappiness. First, it was yellowish leaves; then it was droopy stems. (Don’t you just hate it when that happens? I know I do!) It almost seemed as if they had stopped growing, too.

What could be wrong? At first we thought they might be getting too much shade, so we moved them to where they could get a few hours of gentle morning sun. Fertilizer didn’t help, either. We tried everything we could think of, to no avail. Phil and Queenie just weren’t thriving on the patio.

We finally realized they had outgrown their pots (constricting their roots a bit), so we moved them into the ground. Phil got a nice spot over in the corner, while Queenie ended up near the patio. That should do the trick, we thought.

Strangely, Phil didn’t seem to do well in his new home, either. I mean, he had partial shade, good water, nice soil, and anything else we could think of, but nothing seemed to help. His leaves turned an even sicklier yellow as the stems slowly eventually drooped down to the dirt. To be honest, we thought he was a goner.

Queenie, on the other hand, seemed to perk up a little. But still, she never grew any bigger, no matter what. Fertilizer, water, you name it, she never changed. Now what?

We finally decided since Phil wasn’t doing the job we’d hired him for - which was to fill up that particular corner - well, we needed to find a larger and hopefully hardier occupant. But rather than jerk him up by the roots and send him to that great compost heap in the sky, we tried one last thing: we planted him next to Queenie.

That’s when the magic happened.

In an absolutely amazing transformation, both Phil and Queenie perked up virtually overnight! What’s more; within a couple of weeks their leaves had not only turned fully green again, but they were both standing up proudly as growing plants ought. It was the most stunning turnaround we’d ever seen.

It was obviously a match made in gardening heaven. Once we put them together, they began to grow like crazy! These days, both Phil and Queenie are prospering beautifully. And not only that, but they’re growing a family, too (if you look at the photo closely, you’ll see Phil is now a grandpa). Life is indeed good.

Now, it should be obvious to all but the most clueless that what you just read describes not only a sweet, albeit peculiar, love story. But there are at least two, and probably many more, valuable life lessons to be gleaned from this heartfelt tale as well.

The Sweet Spot

See, like us, in order to not only grow, but to prosper, Phil and Queenie needed to be in the right spot. Oh, those other places were OK; they just weren’t quite the right environment. In fact, they even seemed to hinder further growth. Not good.

We’re like that too, aren’t we? A constricting environment can hinder our own growth as well. We need space to spread our wings, don’t we? Yep; finding the right spot can make all the difference.

So you have to ask yourself the question: Am I in the right place? (And don’t forget its corollary: … Is it the right time?) If you’re not, or the timing is off (and I’ve been there, believe me!), then life can be as tough as tryin’ to rope a calf with a hair net: you might be able to do it, but it won’t be easy!

Everybody Needs Somebody Sometime

And here’s’ another thing: Unless they happen to be Triffids (and if they are, then - Run! Run for your life!), plants don’t usually have the ability to relocate themselves. Well, duh. Thus, Phil and Queenie depended on us to get them to the right spot.

In some ways, it’s the same for humans, too. Oh, sure, we work and we work, and we do everything we can to make the most of what we have, right? But when you get right down to it, is anybody ever truly “self-made”? Of course not! The truth is we all depend upon each other in an interconnected way that boggles the brain (sound of brain, boggling) if we’d just take the time to realize it.

My (unsolicited and possibly unwanted) advice? Why fight it? Don’t be afraid to depend on someone else for something you can’t do for yourself. It’s not a sign of weakness, you know. In fact, looked at from some angles, it could be a sign of strength.

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Anyway, Phil and Queenie are doing fine - they send their regards. Their family keeps growing all the time. And they do brighten up that spot in the garden.

Happy Endings

Now c’mon, admit it; don’t you just love happy endings? You know; when all the strings in a story get tied together, and you’re left with a sense of completeness? Doesn’t it just make you feel good all over when that happens? When was the last time you experienced a happy ending? Care to share it with us?

You know, it would just be absolutely finer than a frogs hair if you would subscribe to my RSS feed!

Warning: This post contains an image of a strictly *ahem* manly nature. Remember, you’ve been warned!

In a men’s room - in a building that shall remain nameless - is a wall-mounted, um, device, wrapped in plastic with the sign “out of order” mounted on the wall above it.

Should I be insulted?

On the one hand, it seems as though the sign would have been enough. I mean, does the maintenance staff think we men can’t read? Or even worse, that we’d ignore their warning and use it anyway because we’re, you know, men - and by definition, gross and disgusting?

On the other hand, maybe that’s exactly what they thought. Perhaps somebody said to themselves, “You know, men will not be deterred by this sign. We must make doubly sure nobody, but nobody, uses this thing!” Or something.

But if the plastic was deemed necessary by the applicable powers-that-be - well then, why do we need the sign? One would think the plastic would be enough of a deterrent, don’cha think?

And what’s the meaning of “out of order”, anyway?

Does it mean, for instance, not working? That would be the most obvious inference. Busted. Kaput. Broken. Failed. In other words, it’s of no use to you, Bubba; go use a different one! So how hard is that to understand, I ask you?

Then again, maybe the phrase, “out of order” means something else - as in not in the right order. So maybe they’re trying to tell me to use, if possible, a different one first. Then I can use this one. Could that be it? Hmmm…

Then there’s the legal term. When you’re told by the judge (usually accompanied by an angry banging of the gavel) that you’re “out of order” - well, it usually means “you shouldn’t have oughtta said that, ya big cotton-pickin’ galoot!” But how would that apply here? I’m not sure.

Don’cha just wish folks would say what they mean? Then there wouldn’t be so much confusion in the world. Just imagine the ramifications! Tax forms you could understand, job applications with no mysterious questions, no more innuendo, euphemisms, or obfuscation! Oh, what a world that would be!

Is it just me, or am I simply, er, out of order?

You know, it would just be absolutely finer than a frogs hair if you would subscribe to my RSS feed!

It’s not exactly the Question of the Ages. But still, it kinda makes you wonder:

How does one make the connection from a horse’s rear to a Space Shuttle?

Then again, maybe it is the Question of the Ages.

Either way, it’s an interesting question, don’t you think? I mean, notwithstanding the obvious jokes about horses’, er, posteriors, this is actually a great opportunity to illustrate a very simple, yet powerful learning technique. What you do, see, is pretend you’re 4 years old.

For those of you who have young children (or have been around them for more than 2.43 minutes), take a moment and think about what their most *ahem* endearing quality might be (sound of clock ticking – ding!). Right you are!

They love to ask, “Why?” And what’s more, every single freakin’ answer you give only serves to regenerate the feedback loop with yet another “why” question. Every. Single. Time.

The funny thing is, it’s a technique most consultants find quite useful, too. No, really! The main difference is, we usually recognize when the person being asked the questions is about to explode… so we stop. The beauty of this technique though, is, if we ask enough “why” questions, we’ll soon get to the *ahem* bottom of matter. (Bwa-ha-ha-ha-ha! Sorry.)

Have you ever tried it?

I’ll illustrate what I mean with this little story I recently ran across:

Consider… the Railroads

The U.S. standard railroad gauge (which is the distance between the centerline of the rails) is 4 feet, 8.5 inches. Now, you may realize (or you may not) – that’s an exceedingly odd number. Why on earth was that particular dimension used? Well, as it turns out, it’s because that’s the way they built them in England, and English expatriates built the US railroads. But let’s not stop there; let’s keep asking “why” and see where it leads.

Why then did the English build them that way? Because the first rail lines were built by the same people who built the pre-railroad tramways, and that’s the gauge they used. OK, I’ll buy that. But why did they use it? Aha! It’s because the people who built the tramways used the same jigs and tools that they used for building wagons, which used that particular spacing between wagon wheels.

All right, then why did wagons use that odd wheel spacing? Well, if they tried to use any other spacing, the wagon wheels would break on some of the old, long distance roads in England because that’s the spacing of the wheel ruts. (Think of it as, “finding the groove”, so to speak.)

Huh? Wheel ruts? What’s that got to do with anything?

Now, at this point ya gotta be asking yourself, who built those old rutted roads? Well, as it turns out, it was Imperial Rome. They built the first long distance roads in Europe (and in England) for their legions. And, they’ve been in use ever since.

And the ruts in the roads? Pretty interesting, actually.

Roman war chariots formed the initial ruts, which of course everyone else had to match – for fear of destroying their own wagon wheels. And, since the chariots were made for Imperial Rome, all wheel spacing was the same.

Therefore the United States standard railroad gauge of 4 feet, 8.5 inches is derived from the original specifications for an Imperial Roman war chariot. How wonderfully convoluted is that?

But hold on, pardners; it gets better.

So, the next time you’re handed a Specification (or a Procedure or even a Process) and that little thought crosses your mind, What horse’s backside came up with that? well, you may be closer to the truth than you think.

The fact is, Imperial Roman army chariots were made just wide enough to accommodate the rear ends of two war horses (as in, two horses’ rears). Ironic, huh?

Bureaucracies Live Forever.

Now for, as Paul Harvey would say, the rest of the story.

So let’s consider… the Space Shuttle on its launch pad. See those two big booster rockets attached to the sides of the main fuel tank? Those are solid rocket boosters, or SRBs (think of them as humongous, and very expensive, bottle rockets). It just so happens that all SRBs are made by Thiokol at their factory in Utah.

Engineers who designed the SRBs would have preferred to make them a bit fatter, but the SRBs had to be shipped by rail from the factory to the launch site in Florida. Now, the railroad line just happens to run through a tunnel in the mountains, so naturally the SRBs had to be designed to fit (otherwise you just end up with two humongous, very expensive, er, corks).

The tunnel is slightly wider than the railroad track, and the railroad track, as you now know, is about as wide as two horses’ backsides. Therefore, one of the major Space Shuttle design features (the diameter of the boosters) of what is arguably the world’s most advanced transportation system was determined over two thousand years ago by – yep, you guessed it – the width of a horse’s rear.

And all this time, you thought being a horse’s rear wasn’t important!

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OK, OK, if you’re like me (and if that’s the case, then sincere condolences are in order), you probably wondered if this story was, you know, true. Surprise! It’s… not. The fact is, there are plenty of discrepancies that can easily be disputed.

But so what? Even Snopes opens its rebuttal with the words: “This is one of those items that – although wrong in many of its details – isn’t exactly false in an overall sense…” (Huh? “Isn’t exactly false”? Try using that defense in court!) No, the point is, it still illustrates the power of asking, “Why” ad infinitum.

So the next time you’re faced with something inexplicable, try turning into a 4-year-old. Hey, you never know what you might learn!

Tell Me About It

So what about it, folks? What was the most amazing, interesting, outrageous, ridiculous, crazy, profound, surprising, or (insert descriptive here) thing you’ve ever learned – just because you dared to ask “why” more than once?

Photo credits:

Don’t be a horse’s [ed. – “rear”], by sfPhotocraft

Maine Central Railroad, by mjsawyer

Space Shuttle Discovery, by GISuser

You know, it would just be absolutely finer than a frogs hair if you would subscribe to my RSS feed!

Where are you?

I told you; meet me here.

How much clearer could I be?

I don’t get it.

Don’t you ever listen to me?

[Inspired by Liz Strauss "25 Words" writing project. Want to try it? Follow the link and write your own!]

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Other 25-word posts:

Watched

They Were Wrong!

Horizons

Somersault

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You know, it would just be absolutely finer than a frogs hair if you would subscribe to my RSS feed!

You may not realize it, or care.

But every day, who you are is on the line.

You’re being watched.

Be free - but be vigilant.

(Photo credit: Ever get the feeling you’re being watched? By Neil Wykes)

[Inspired by Liz Strauss "25 Words" writing project. Want to try it? Follow the link and write your own!]

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Other 25-word posts:

They Were Wrong!

Horizons

Somersault

Clueless

__________________

You know, it would just be absolutely finer than a frogs hair if you would subscribe to my RSS feed!

Would you willingly take on a project that had all the signs of being a real pain in the tookus? That’s the question fellow Texan and business blogger Laura Spencer asked not long ago in her post, Should You Accept an “Ugly Duckling” Project?

The questions struck a chord for me (sound of F^# major-minor augmented chord) - because I once did exactly that.

You know how, especially during warm summer months - when you see the clouds building, and the breeze freshens up rather suddenly, and off in the distance you can hear the rolling thunder - well, you know pretty soon there’s gonna be a humdinger of a storm, right? Yeah, it was like that.

When my manager and I first heard about this particular project (it was only a potential project at that time), we both recognized immediately there would be serious challenges in store for whoever took it on. If I recall correctly, I think our initial conclusions went something like this: a) it’ll never finish on schedule, b) it’ll go way over budget, c) it’s critical to plant operations (increasing the risk), and what’s more, d) it’s sure to be a high-profile project.

Well as it turned out, a) it didn’t, b) it did, c) it was and d) yes-a-rooni!

The irony (which as you know means made entirely of iron) goes even farther, too. I asked for the project. Yep, sometimes I’m crazy like that.

Now, of Laura’s five reasons to prove your insanity take on an ugly duckling project, that second one, “Your chance to shine” is why I asked for it. I recognized right off it would be an opportunity to manage a “stand out” project. And Bubba, stand out it did!

Warning Signs

Now, it wasn’t a particularly complex project or anything. No new technology, or even anything fancy. At its most basic, it was simply an equipment replacement. But here’s the four main reasons why it was so significant:

Budget - Normally, our particular group managed what’s termed “small projects” - usually up to about $5 million in total installed cost. However, in this case the equipment being replaced was rather expensive, making the estimate at nearly 4 times that amount. Although it was unusual for us to handle one of this size, it said something about the client’s confidence in our capabilities, and we had no intention of letting them down. (In fact, our company handled any-size projects, including multi-billion-dollar ones; it’s just that my particular group focused on these small projects only.)

Schedule - Typically, every project undergoes a scheduling process that first determines its duration, then coordinates a start date with all the other projects going on (usually 60-75 at a time). Sometimes, though, one comes along with a fixed “need date” much earlier than normal, hence the name: “fast track”. Alas, this particular project was not only on the fast track - it was an LGV high-speed express train at that (sound of terrified scream)!

Criticality - One thing that determines the need for a fast track schedule is the criticality of the project. In this case, on a scale of 1 to 10, with 10 being the highest, this one was almost an 11! That usually means the existing equipment is about to fail at any moment. The bad news: if it does, the plant shuts down (resulting in several hundred thousand $$$ per day in lost revenues). Needless to say, they needed the new installation, and they needed it now! (Never mind that it should have been started a year or two earlier. But it’s OK; I’m over it now.)

Scrutiny - We handled so many project at any given time, it was unusual for any specific one to be singled out for special attention. Ordinarily the only ones they discussed in the Manager’s meetings were projects that varied from expectations in some shape or form (exceeded budget by a specified percentage, critical delays, etc.; that sort of thing). But this one had a guaranteed front-row seat at every meeting, thanks to its huge size and compressed schedule. Translation: they were watching it - and me - like a flock of hawks at a groundhog convention!

OK, now you know the score; you’re probably wondering how it worked out, right? Uh, right? (Either that or you’ve already moved on to the next blog in your RSS reader.)

The Best Laid Plans…

Well, as I indicated earlier, things didn’t… quite… go as the client had hoped. Sometimes even the best laid plans aren’t worth, as they say in East Texas, a hill o’ beans. I’m telling ya, we swooshed by their original deadline like the Silver Streak on steroids. And the budget - well, suffice it to say their initial estimates turned out to be several years old by the time we got actual, you know, real world pricing.

What kept the local antacid distribution company in business, though, was the onset of winter (the project was located in a north central U.S. state). The old equipment was in pretty bad shape, with a very real possibility that accumulating ice might cause the existing equipment to collapse.

Hey, we did our best, but unfortunately there wasn’t much we could do to speed things up much; at the time, most contractors were pretty much operating at full capacity already. (You know all that faldera you hear on the news about the economy being so terrible? Not true; just look at production - it’s off the charts!)

As things turned out, though, the key to success wasn’t a matter of managing the project. Hey, we had that part pretty well covered, if I do say so myself. I mean, project management is what we do, you know?

The REAL Challenge

No, the real challenge (and what most contributed to that suave, debonair “silver-haired” look you see in my photo) was managing the client’s expectations.

See, the biggest issue was the ridiculously abbreviated schedule. Everyone on the client’s side seemed to think that just because you could make it work on paper, then hey, it’s a done deal. But as we all know, the real world has a way of jumping up and biting you on the, er, brains, you know?

Believe me, the real world had a lot to say! There were unusually heavy rains, for instance, that literally flooded the entire area for several days. (I’m not kidding; it was so deep, the construction crews threw together an impromptu dock for Noah’s Ark, just in case.)

And, as winter deepened, ice accumulations often hindered foundation work as well as material deliveries. (Our contractors even tried to send a special team to northern Canada to see if they could find a few Inuit looking for work. Just kidding; they couldn’t find a dog sled going in the right direction.)

Then there were financing issues. It takes time to release that much money from most companies’ tight little fists, you know. Several times they had to essentially shut down the project until money could be released for the next stage of construction. Sheesh, if I had been a partaker of alcoholic beverages (gave it up 30 years ago), I’d have been a goner!

But still, no matter how capricious Mother Nature acted, the client still seemed to operate on a “perfect world” scenario. Oh, well; that’s how it goes sometimes.

Amazingly enough (and to everyone’s happy surprise) the old installation did NOT fall down under the weight of ice that winter. Spring arrived, and construction finally finished, leaving only the start-up and certification tasks to be completed. After everything was said and done, the project finally managed to creak its way into operation (around the beginning of Summer).

As for me, I managed to get a kudo or two in my record for having had to manage such a difficult project. Even though we didn’t even come close to hitting the original budget or schedule (because they were so unrealistic - and it was acknowledged by the client), it still got chalked up as a success for me personally.

For example, one of our performance indicators is the Total Dollar Value of all projects managed. In my case, this one project alone pushed my tracking numbers way up there; higher than anyone else’s at the time. So, even though the project had its share of difficulties, I was given high marks just for having this project on my record.

And so it went.

So What About You?

But enough about me; let’s talk about you!

Ever faced this kind of problem challenge experience? Yup; I dare say most of us have. Perhaps it’s inevitable that, sooner or later, we’ll all have to have to learn how to deal with unreasonable expectations from a client. (And for the sake of discussion, client can also be interpreted as: boss, spouse, friend, offspring, pet - hey, fill in as appropriate here.) So here’s today’s questions:

When did you last encounter issues with client expectations? Did you end up praying for a miracle, or was there some specific way you managed them? What’s your favorite technique for managing them? How did it turn out? Any techniques that work better than others? In what circumstances are they best? Got any good tips for us here - and care to share ‘em with the rest of us?

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