I woke up rather suddenly from a particularly vivid dream the other night. Oh, not to worry – it wasn’t the screamin’ jeebies or the cold sweats sort of a dream (although come to think of it, one of those might have been more entertaining.) No, I just woke up.

In it, I was a cowboy (surprise!) running a herd of cattle across an empty desert plain, hot sun beating down from a cloudless lid of bright blue sky. I remember thinking (in the dream, that is), There’s no food or water for these critters out here. How are we gonna make it? This is a really stupid idea.

Once awakened, you know what happened, right? Yep; the ol’ little gray cells assumed it was a genuine situation that had to be figured out, and immediately stampeded off into the night like that dreamland herd o’ heifers. That’s ridiculous, I found myself thinking. Nobody herds cattle across a desert. There’s no food. There’s no water. How could they make it? Maybe they could… uh… er… hrm… That’s a really stupid idea… and then round the circle we went again, over and over and… over.

Needless to say, this went on for some time. Eventually, though, a thought occurred to me as if it was the final nail in the coffin: It’s impossible.

Now, I don’t know about you, but I’ve run across some impossible things every now and then. And I’d venture to say that there ain’t nothin’ more daunting, lemme tell ya! It’s like… well, what the heck, I’m gonna go out on a limb here and assume you already know what that’s like.

Yep; impossible things surround us all the time, don’t they? A dream job, the perfect mate, an eventual golden retirement – they’re all around us. Are they really impossible? Well – maybe; maybe not. But I’ll bet you any amount you care to name that if you don’t at least try then it sure as heck won’t happen.

But what about those things that truly are impossible. Things like, for instance, my dream to finally be a… spaceman? (Sadly, it looks like the future I read about when I was a kid won’t happen soon enough for little ol’ me. Sigh.)

Not The Dream, But The Journey

Well, the thing is, even if impossible to actually achieve, some dreams are worth aiming for anyway. Why? Because sometimes, it’s not the destination, it’s the journey that counts, y’know? By that I mean that in the effort of preparing for that so-called “impossible dream”, you might just find yourself becoming a better person!

Even the indomitable Apostle Paul (yeah, that guy who wrote a huge chunk of the New Testament in the Christian Bible) faced the same thing. In fact, he compared life to running in a race:

You know that in a race all the runners run, but only one runner gets the prize. So run like that. Run to win! All who compete in the games use strict training. (1 Corinthians 9:24-25)

See, even though only one person can actually win a race, in order to compete, all who run must improve themselves. In that way, the journey becomes its own reward.

Not a bad lesson for life, wouldn’t ya say?

________________________________

Photo: A Cow, by publicenergy

________________________________

Wow, I bet that got your attention, didn’t it?

The Mrs. and I were checkin’ out a junk store antique shop a few weeks ago, and I happened to run across a pile of old magazines. Idly flipping through them, I was rather taken aback by the title of the main article on this cover of Look Magazine, dated February 2, 1960:

“SHOULD A GIRL BE FIRST IN SPACE?”

Well, I guess back then you could never accuse magazine editors of bein’, y’know, subtle. Surely, I thought to myself, these guys have learned something over the years.

Don’t Call Me Shirley!

A quick Wikipedia search (altogether now: what did we ever do before the internet came along?) revealed that lady on the cover is none other than Betty Skelton, one of the most amazing women of the day ever.

I had to chuckle a bit at that word, ‘girl’, though. I rather imagine if you called her that today, you’d better keep an eye over your shoulder because she’d likely climb into one of the 10 corvettes she used to set speed records with and lay a few track marks across your face. Just sayin’.

Although the whole article is definitely worth a read (it won’t take long, I promise), the opening summary quite succinctly says a lot: “Betty Skelton Frankman Erde (Note: link to Wikipedia article) (born June 28, 1926) is a retired land speed record car driver and acrobatic airplane pilot who set 17 aviation and automobile records, was known as “the First Lady of Firsts”, and helped create opportunities for women in aviation, auto racing, astronautics and advertising.”

Now there’s a summary for ya! In other words, she gave new meaning to the term “Fast Lady”! And, although she underwent the exact same training the Mercury astronauts went through (it was done at the request of Look Magazine specifically for this issue), she was never actually an astronaut. Which, if you think about it, is a sad commentary on the Way Things Were at the time.

On the other hand, it does bring up the subject of… barriers.

Barriers: Some Real and Some… Not So Much

Unfortunately, there were barriers to women back then that even one as talented and accomplished as Betty couldn’t break down. On the other hand (where did I get all these hands?), were I a bettin’ man, I’d bet you, oh, about a bazillion donuts she was a factor in the eventual acceptance of women in the Astronaut Corps (and a lot of other places, too).

Nevertheless, the wiki article did get me to thinkin’ (sound of grinding gears)…

When I was a kid, there were a lot of things I couldn’t do. You remember what it was like, don’cha? For instance (just to name three) I couldn’t drive a car (I was too young), I couldn’t understand physics (I hadn’t accumulated enough scientific knowledgeable) and, once I got a car, I couldn’t get a date (sadly, I had little or no social skills luck whatever with the fairer half of the population *sigh*).

See, some barriers are truly, well, for lack of a better term, real. Age, for example. In that case, there’s nothing you can do about that kind of barrier except wait for it to fall in its own good time. Hey, I had to grow up eventually, right? (Well, there were a few major boners I pulled when I was young that probably had my parents wonderin’ about that one. But I digress.)

On the other hand, many other kinds of barriers (such as that lack of knowledge I mentioned above) are more a product of how I thought of myself. Once again, though, how to overcome such a barrier was obvious: I needed to work harder and learn more! In other words, it was up to me.

Where’s That Barrier Now?

Over the course of my life many other barriers have fallen, too. For instance, I used to think I couldn’t write. Well, as I’ve discovered over the last few years, obviously that’s not a problem anymore. Although it didn’t happen overnight, with much time, effort, and the sweat of my brow, I now claim to be a writer because, well, I write, right?

But here’s the thing. If I were, for instance, to still insist I couldn’t write… Well, what would have happened is that particular barrier, which may have once been real, if you get my meanin’, is now simply imagined. See the difference? The fact that the barrier once actually existed always made a great excuse. Hey, I could always claim forces outside my control, y’know? (sound of millions of us shouting, “It’s not my fault!”) But now that it’s gone, well, why would I want to leave it hangin’, if you know what I mean?

The good news, though, is lots of other use-to-be-barriers are gone, too. The question, though, is, have I been paying attention? That leads me to another question: I wonder what other barriers aren’t there anymore?  Which of course leads up that all important final follow-up question: What barriers used to hold me back but now are gone and I now longer have excuse?

I wonder… what barriers used to hold you back – but aren’t there any more?

_________________

“A journey of a thousand miles begins with a single step.”

- Chinese philosopher Lao-tzu

I was walking in a park the other day and happened to notice this Mile Zero marker at my feet. This naturally got me to thinkin’ (sound of grinding gears) about life’s journeys, and how a person can end up where they are. (What can I say? I was in a pensive mood that day.)

If you take the time to think about it, where you are in life right now is the result of a rather long series of events.

For instance, take the leader of any given organization. I mean, whoever it is didn’t just decide one day to be The Top Dog, you know. Nope, they had to learn what it took to handle the role, make planned and skillful career moves, perhaps take advantage of opportunity as it arose. Eventually, if all the cards fell into place, they made it to the top.

Oh, sure; sometimes a leader gets the role by accident. But that doesn’t mean they’re not qualified and have the characteristics needed to lead. It takes time, effort, and sometimes luck to get there, no matter who you are or what your goal is.

Now think about where YOU are right now. Is it anything like where you thought you’d be when you first started out however many years ago? I’d be willing to wager – probably not! No, what characterized most folks’ journeys is the unpredictability of ‘em. You can make your plans, learn the ropes, identify the goals or whatever. But sometimes it’s still a surprise.

Despite that, setting goals and makin’ those plans is certain worth doing. I mean, if nothing else, it’s good training for wherever you end up. But there’s one more thing you need to get where you’re going. And without this one last thing, you might as well give up now.

Take the First Step

Sometimes that first step is the hardest one, isn’t it? You’ve spent a lot of time planning, scheming, working, hoping and, depending upon who you turn to for help, praying. Now all that’s left is the doing.

So today’s question is pretty simple: What’s keeping you from takin’ that first (or maybe it’s not the first, but the next) step?

__________________________

I’m thinking of… love. Thinking about the how and the why of it. Wondering if I’ll ever understand the whole of it, even. Knowing that it’s not possible for my poor, finite mind to comprehend it. At least, not yet.

Oh, don’t get me wrong; I understand a little. I mean, I’ve experienced the amazing joy of love firsthand. And not just once, but many times, in many different ways. But over the years I’ve noticed a difference in the kinds of love there are. This simple little word doesn’t easily convey to us its rich tapestry of inherent meanings.

For instance, when I say I love… my steak – you know, the one I just cooked to juicy perfection on our backyard grill, with a nice baked potato on the side, done just right and topped with a little butter, bacon, and cheese – well, it’s pretty obvious the love I’m talking about is really just a very intense “like”.

There’s such a thing as love… but that’s not it.

When I say I love… my friends, it’s obvious I’m talking about that feeling of camraderie, of fellowship and friendship I get from the people I know who know me back in more than a casual way.

There’s such a thing as love… but that’s not it.

When I say I love… my own sibling, it’s about a familial relationship. Not that I don’t love that family member any less or any more, just because I had no choice in it, you know. It’s almost an obligation, albeit one I willingly agree to.

There’s such a thing as love… but that’s not it.

Back when I was still single, when I said I loved… the woman with whom I was building the beginnings of a significant relationship with, I was really talking about that feeling most of us recognize as “being in love”. You know what I’m talking about, right? Sweaty palms, hot flashes, brain freezes – all the silly, goofy things we find ourselves doing to first impress, and then win that other person.

There’s such a thing as love… and although I was getting closer… well, that wasn’t quite it.

But what about when I say I love… my wife? I think I’m finally getting close to what real love is. It’s not about getting, but about giving – the giving of my self – to her. To put her interests above my own. To want what she wants, to feel what she feels, to put her above myself in every way. (Not that I claim to be successful at it – but it’s a worthy goal, wouldn’t you say?)

There’s such a thing as love… I wondered and I searched, and finally, I think I know. How do I know? Because I went to the source of love. To the One Who created love in the first place. Because in reality, love is quite easily defined:

Love is patient.

Love is kind.

Love does not envy.

Love does not boast.

Love is not proud.

Love is not rude.

Love is not self-seeking.

Love is not easily angered.

Love keeps no record of wrongs

Love does not delight in evil.

Love rejoices with the truth.

Love always protects

Love always trusts.

Love always hopes.

Love always perseveres.

Love never fails.

In fact, God is love.

______________________

I was driving in our neighborhood the other day when I passed this poor excuse for a tree in a nearby empty lot.

Over the last three years, I’ve seen this thing gradually reduced from a somewhat taller and more, er, robust version of itself – to this. Pretty pathetic, ain’t it?

Every time we get a strong wind, I’m convinced I’ll drive by and see it has given up the ghost and finally assumed the horizontal position. When Hurricane Ike bulldozed through Houston over a year ago, I really thought that would be the final blow, so to speak. Yet every time I’m surprised to find it holding on just a little bit longer.

Oh, sure, it might be a little smaller, perhaps a little, er, less vigorous than is used to be (which may be considered the understatement of the century), but this amazing tree has managed to persevere no matter what’s been thrown at it. But no – this fellah is still hangin’ in there.

But more than that – it’s still growing! You can see a small clump of leaves there on what remains of the only branch left. What’s more, there’s even a few new saplings growing upward from the base of the trunk, too.

I’ll tell ya what, folks, if there ain’t a powerful lesson here, I’ll… well, I’ll eat my hat!

So I guess the million-dollar questions you have to ask yourself today are: What’s been knockin’ ya down, lately? And, what’s your response gonna be?

Next time you’re tempted to give up, just remember this tree. (And yes, I’m talkin’ to me, too.)

__________________________

What is it about limits that make us human beans get all riled up inside? And why do we insist on kicking against any kind of limitations other folks may put upon us?

I was wandering around Discovery Green Park (it’s a small park in downtown Houston) a while back and one of the things I ran across was this stairway to, apparently, nowhere. It was tall and broad, made of very nicely laid brick, and – completely blocked off by this sign suspended on a chain!

Now, I gotta ask ya – is it just me? I’m tellin’ ya, whenever I see stuff like this, the first thing I want to do is, well, step right over the rope, chain or whatever, and go right in. I’m not alone, am I? Nope; thought not!

See, there’s this thing inside us that pretty much hates bein’ told what it can or can’t do, y’know? Now, is that a good thing, or a bad thing? Ah, now that’s the $49 question, don’t ya think?

The Good and the Bad

On the one hand, limits teach us some pretty good lessons, don’t they? I mean, when you’re a baby, and you reach for a hot stove, the alert and careful parent will tell you NO! in no uncertain terms. Wouldn’t you agree that’s a good limit? And when children go out in the backyard to explore and play, the fence generally defines the limits where parents might consider it to be “safe”, right? (There’s always a fence, of course; whether or not it’s physical is beside the point.)

I mean, those are good uses of limits, wouldn’t you say? They are there to help us survive childhood, for one thing. And in some cases, they give us the opportunity to, y’know, grow up!

On the other hand, there’s limits imposed upon us for other reasons, such as the one pictured here. Or, maybe they’re limitations imposed  by a business (we accept cash only, no checks), a government (you will pay your taxes and you will enjoy it!), or even a friend (no, you can’t come over tomorrow, that’s the day I get my house fumigated). Augh! What’s a body to do?

A Stop Sign – or a Green Light?

Most of the time, those limitations you encounter every single day of our lives are so mundane and accepted that you may not even think about them. And that’s as it should be, don’t you think? I mean, if you had to stop and decide whether to accept every limit placed upon you every time it happened, you’d never get anywhere!

But what about the limits imposed upon us by other folks – that keep us from something you’re convinced is worthwhile? Ah, now that’s a pickle of another persuasion, isn’t it? When that sort of thing happens, it sorta riles you up, now, don’t it?

You find yourself sayin’ something along the lines of, Now who the heck do you think you are, anyway, to tell me I can’t climb that mountain, fly that high, or (feel free to fill in the blank here)?(Usually to be accompanied by a humph! or two.)

That’s what usually happens with me, anyway. In fact, I remember thinking that very thing (along with the humph!) a long time ago when a friend of mine told me it was “too late” to go back to school and finish my degree. After all, he pointed out, it’s been twenty years since I was in college. Besides, why bother? he said; what will it get you?

But you know what? It wasn’t!

In fact, I finished my Bachelor’s degree almost twenty years to the month after I started it! (Like I always say, I may not be smart – but I am slow!) Not only that, just for the heck of it I went on to get a Master’s and a Doctorate, too. No limits here, I’ll tell ya! As for what it’s given me, well, that would take a lot more than a simple blog post. Suffice it to say, it’s made a difference.

What Makes the Difference?

The fact is, limits can impose restrictions upon your actions – or they can cause you to rise up to even greater things, can’t they? What makes the difference?

Now, that is one interesting question, don’t you think? And after thinkin’ about it for a while, I decided to open up the floor for that one. So now it’s your turn!

Why do some folks hit a limit of some kind and stop (or turn aside), while others find ways to get around the limit and keep on’ goin’?  What makes one limit “firm”, while another one is really a sorta “call to arms”, if you get my meanin’ – a challenge to greatness?

I’m not sure there are any hard and fast rules here, but if you know of some, I’d be interested to hear ‘em! In the meantime, I’ll leave the light on for ya, OK?

___________________________

This is an entry for this month’s What I Learned From Limits groupwrite project. Hey, there’s plenty of time left and you’re welcome to join us if you like; just follow that link there and read all about it!

___________________________

There’s an old sayin’ that goes something like this: Great things come to those who wait. (Come to think of it, isn’t that the tagline from a ketchup commercial?)

Well, take it from me, it’s an old saying, ‘K? But as sayings go, isn’t there something missing? I mean, if all it took to receive great things was to wait, I’d be a rich and famous zillionaire several times over by now, y’know?

Obviously something’s missing.

Personally, I think the missing element to that particular sayin’ is, well, the challenge of workin’ for that great thing, don’cha think? I mean, sure having something nice fall unexpectedly in your lap is a favorite daydream for pretty much all of us, right? But how often does that happen? Not much, Bubba!

No, the most common, and likely more appreciated “great” things we receive these days are things we earn. Things we work for. They’re our just rewards for hard work or effort of something we had to do, y’know? And they’re not unexpected; no, not at all! They’re the prize for a job well done.

Cape Lookout, Oregon

A while back while living up in Oregon, Mrs. MZM and I took a weekend off to sorta tour the scenery along the coastline. I’ll tell ya; that is some beautiful country! I wouldn’t mind too much living in those parts permanently; in my humble opinion it’s got some of the finest coastline in the entire U.S., bar none.

Anyway, we were moseyin’ along in sightseein’ mode, toolin’ north along Hiway 101, when we noticed a sign pointing to something called Cape Lookout. Now it seems to me, one really fine way to catch a terrific scenic view of a coastline is to view it from a cape. So, we turned west on what was named, appropriately enough, Cape Lookout Road and prepared to be amazed.

Well, the road went up, then it went down. Then it twisted, then it turned, then it pretty much did the hokey-pokey and turned us all around! I’m tellin’ ya, I had NO idea which way we were goin’! (I had visions of rescue parties searching vainly for our vehicle… once someone realized we were lost, of course.) Eventually, though, we ended up at the top of a hill, and off to the side was the Cape Lookout parking area. Somehow we made it!

To our surprise, though, there was absolutely no view whatsoever. According to the sign, you had to *ahem* hike out to the point for the rumored view. (Up until now I’d heard of “hiking”, but have never actually seen it. Must be something those native Oregonians do…) Needless to say, we were a mite taken aback; talk about your bait-and-switch! It seemed kinda cruel to promise a spectacular view, then make you work for it, y’know? And worse, it looked like the trail led into a rather dense forest. What about the lions, tigers and bears (we said)? Oh, my!

Still, the promise of glorious sights… Anyway, we decided to throw caution to the winds and give it a shot. So we headed off into the deep, dark woods, keepin’ our eyes peeled for the aforementioned critters. Luckily, the trail appeared to be quite well travelled, so it was easy to follow. No breadcrumbs necessary at all.

I have to admit, once we got into it, the walk turned almost magical. The bright sunlight dimmed considerably as it filtered through the boughs of innumerable huge redwoods and other big trees.  The ground was covered by dense undergrowth, muting our steps, and everywhere the rich scent of green filled our noses with the perfume of rainforest. It was amazing!

The trail kept on going, and before too long we began to wonder just how far it might be. I mean, we were on a cape, so I figured we could only get so far in any direction before we got our feet wet, y’know? But after 20 minutes, there was still nothing but forest around us. I was about ready to turn back.

Finally, up ahead on the left, there seemed to be a much brighter area on the trail. That meant a clearing of some kind, so we decided to see if there were anything to see before turning back. It was like coming up to a corner of a building, then turning the corner and having this… incredible vista spread out in front of us!

Alas, that photo up there simply can’t do it justice. I’m guessin’ we were maybe 300 feet above sea level, and the way the sun played with the clouds and the mist thrown up by the wind… well, it was quite a sight! To this day, we’re grateful we had a chance to see it – even if we did have to work for it, y’know?

Keepin’ Your Eye on the Prize

I’ve said it before and it bears repeating: good things come to those who are willing to do what is necessary to achieve them. (Yes, I really said that; see my guest post at Confident Writing) And what’s really wonderful about those good things that – finally – come along is, they’re all the sweeter for the effort you had to put into it!

That’s the great reward for what you had to do. It’s like the goals you’ve focused on all these days, weeks or even years; when you finally hit the finish line, it’s sweeter than a big ol’ bowl of Blue Bell Banana Pudding Ice Cream! (And trust me Bubba; that’s some sweet dish!)

I’ll tell ya; the incredible view we got that day – it’ll always stay with us (and I don’t just mean as a photo, either). No, it was an all-the-more-fantastic and beautiful reward for the effort it took to find it!

So what prize have you got in your sights right now? Have you expended the effort to reach it? How much longer do you think it’ll take to achieve? What advice would YOU give someone in your place? Drop your suggestions in the comment box and let’s share the wealth of experience we represent with each other! Don’t worry; I’ll leave the light on.

______________________________

Photo: Windy Day on the Oregon Coast, by Robert Hruzek

______________________________