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Welcome to a brand spanking new feature here at the Zone! It’s called (as you may have already surmised by now) Airport Observations. Hey, say what you like about the hassles of traveling (go ahead – say it!), but one of the things I enjoy most is the chance to observe large numbers of people all crammed into a small area. It does provide me a great deal of entertainment, lemme tell ya!

Now, since I travel irregularly (and by that I mean there’s no set schedule, not that I, um, get irregular when I travel, don’cha know), you can expect this feature to pop up pretty much any ol’ time. After all, there’s just so much good stuff goin’ on out there; I just gotta try and capture it…

Maybe Two Heads Are Better…

Houston - Perhaps it’s simply because I don’t get out much, but this one’s a first for me: a guy wearing a baseball cap on top of a cowboy hat. Ya know, I’m not sure, but doesn’t that violate all sorts of local laws or something? Hey, Buddy, maybe you can get away with that sort of thing in New Jersey, or maybe even Wisconsin (I mean, after all, they wear cheese on their heads) – but this here is Texas!

As if that wasn’t unusual enough, I saw the same guy at least five different times after that, but each time he had a different hat on! So let’s see… first it was both hats, then just the baseball cap, then the cowboy hat, then both again (but this time the cowboy hat was on top), then… I mean, c’mon – how ‘bout makin’ a decision here!

Please Excuse the Delay

Houston – Again, although I fly several times a year, it’s still not really that much. As a result, I can say with some measure of trepidation that I have rarely experienced a serious delay. Once or twice, maybe, for weather in over thirty years isn’t a bad record if you ask me.

But as our boarding time got closer, then closer, then passed us and vanished into the distance (kinda reminds me of the old saying about deadlines: they make such a neat whooshing sound when they pass by), we finally heard the rather disturbing announcement: Ladies and gentlemen, please excuse the delay. Our flight has been held up while the maintenance crew evaluates a cracked windshield. Please bear with us as we determine whether or not to use a different airplane.

To which I, along with most of the other passengers, looked at each other and said words to the effect: “Uh, do we get a vote?”

Gone to the Dogs

Chicago – When I fly (in airplanes, that is), the dry air always makes me extremely thirsty, so usually the first thing I do when arriving at my destination (I mean, after the, um, other first thing) is find a place to buy a soft drink. At O’Hare, there’s a McDonalds that is ideally situated for that, except for the fact that there are usually about a million people waiting in line there. So this time I ended up at some hot dog joint.

There was a woman just picking up her order from the merchant as I walked up; her hot dog was literally mounded up with the most ridiculous pile of pickles, onions, sauerkraut, relish, and no doubt any number of other ingredients.

She must have missed the expression on my face, because she looked at me and said, “Now doesn’t this look just scrumptious?”

I looked at her and replied in my best Texas drawl, “Ma’am, I’m from Texas – to me, there’s only two things that belong on a hot dog – chili and cheese!”

We all had a good laugh over that one.

What About You?

Seen anything unusual, weird, whacko, or just plain unusual at an airport recently? Or even not so recently? Why not share it with the rest of us and give us all a chance to laugh?

If you’ll email your story to me at rhruzek@sbcglobal.net, I’ll post it here and give you a link! Send a photo too, if ya got it! Now there’s a deal for you!

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