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For some reason the subject of anger seems to be on my mind today, so with a nod to Jack and Adam (I’ll never see the movie but I absolutely love the poster!) here’s a few thoughts on the subject.

It would be a rhetorical question to ask if you’ve ever been angry. It happens. A brief search on the internet yields a lot of information on the different types of anger, but this list of eight types of anger from Anger Resources seemed to be the most complete.

1. Chronic anger — ongoing resentment toward others and life in general
2. Volatile anger — comes and goes, builds to rage, explodes as physical or verbal aggression
3. Judgmental anger — critical statements are made which belittle, shame, or correct other, done with disdain
4. Passive anger — expressed indirectly through sarcasm, or being late, or avoiding a situation
5. Overwhelmed anger — arises when people can’t handle their life circumstances, and lash out to relieve stress or pain
6. Retaliatory anger — directed to a person to get back at them for something that they did or said
7. Self-inflicted anger — may result in hurting oneself emotionally or physically — negative self-talk, starvation, eating or drinking to excess
8. Constructive anger — using anger to make some positive difference, such as becoming involved in a cause or movement for positive change

Most people are probably susceptible to one or more (rarely all) of the above list. What I find most interesting is that only ONE (the last one) actually has a positive result. All of the others can produce destructive behavior. Sadly, that destruction often extends far beyond the angry person; if sustained, it can spread like a flame among family, friends, and co-workers.

So what DO you do? Glad you asked! Julie Fleming Brown’s excellent Life at the Bar article, “Controlling Anger” addresses how to handle situations where you find yourself getting angry. By all means read the article for details, but here’s the list:

1. Keep your attention on the motivation behind the provocation – why is this person provoking you?
2. Breathe – not only is this good stress management, but the ensuing pause give everyone, including yourself, time to regroup
3. Speak softly – probably the hardest to master but always the best way to respond
4. Vent – go somewhere safe and let it out
5. Exercise – not only good for the body, but good for the soul to release the adrenaline that anger generates
6. Selective release of anger – occasionally this turns out to be the best course, but only when coupled with all of the above; always consider the consequences because there will be plenty

Allow me to add that getting angry is not the issue. Humans are emotional beings, and it’s normal to experience a range of emotions all the time. People around you will get worried if you aren’t showing emotion. What is at issue is what you do with your anger.

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