Engraved In Stone: How to Bust a Bad Habit
Have you ever heard this expression: “engraved in stone”? Generally speaking, it refers to something so sure, so predictable, it’s practically a foregone conclusion.
For example, it’s almost a sure thing that every time I drive by a certain well-known national chain ice cream parlor, I have to wrestle with the steering wheel on my car to keep the danged thing from pulling into their drive. Mrs. MZM would say that behavior is practically engraved in stone, y’know? (Alas, that’s a tough one to break; it’s, er, part of how I lost my *ahem* youthful figure – and ended up on this here diet!)
Anyhoo; the thing is, that behavior didn’t just happen overnight. Nope; I had to build it over time.
Building a Bad Habit
Back in 1985, when we first lived in Greenville, South Carolina, the road that took me from home to the office passed right by one of those aforementioned ice cream places. No big deal, you say? Well, this one had something we’d never seen at one of these things before: a drive-through window!
Alas, it was a recipe for disaster! (Well, I gotta admit, the inclination was already there.) All it took to cause me make a bat-turn in the middle of the road and slide up to the window, tires squealing like a stunt driver’s take a left instead of heading straight home after work was that extra little convenience.
Unfortunately, it wasn’t long before the results began to show up on the ol’ waistline, y’know?
But that’s the way bad habits work, don’t they? It may be something subtle at first, but you know how it goes, right? Before too long, it’s become a habit and you’re hooked! The problem, as we all know, is that once formed, bad habits can be oh-so-hard to get rid of. That’s because the behavior that produced the habit has become ingrained in our life.
What to do? Well, the best way to avoid the problem is to keep the bad habit from forming in the first place, right? So how do you head those pesky little things off at the pass?
How To Avoid Bad Habits
Here’s a couple of tips you can try. You just have to, y’know, do ‘em.
Know Yourself – Probably the most important weapon in your arsenal is to know your own strengths. And while you’re at it, get to know your weaknesses, too. IÂ mean, if you don’t even like ice cream, then Bubba, you ain’t got no problem at all when the ol’ Ice Cream Angel calls your name, right? Alas, most of us don’t fall into that category, so consequently have to admit that particular temptation has legs. But as they say in practically every guide to problem-solving I’ve ever read, the first step to solving a problem – is admitting there’s a problem! That ol’ sayin’, “forewarned is forearmed” has never been more true!
Know Your Goals – The thing is, when it comes to this particular brand of ice cream, well, let’s just say if one of my goals was to become the World’s “Biggest” Project Manager and get my name in the record books, then I was certainly on the right track! However, since it, um, wasn’t, then obviously it wasn’t gonna help, y’know? Most of the time, all it takes is just a little thought to realize what’s good for your goals – and what’s not. Then all you have to do is, y’know, do the right thing.
Know Your Decisions Ahead of Time – Here’s the best weapon of all, and trust me on this, it’s something we can all do. Knowing that ice cream parlor was there (and I was pretty much forced to drive by it every day) well, I had to make the decision to NOT turn in – before the place was even in sight. I know it sounds simple, and it is. But the fact is, decisions of this nature just naturally are so much easier when you’re not in the midst of the battle, so to speak. Just decide , right now, what you’re going to do. Then, when it comes time to actually do it, you’ll find it so much easier!
Are There More Ways?
So what about you guys? How do you avoid bad habits? I’ve only listed three things; there’s bound to be lots more. Leave your suggestions in the comment box and let’s all have a big belly laugh learn something!
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Photo: Engraved in Stone, by Robert Hruzek
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Middle Zone Musings is a comfortable place to stop, have a cup of coffee, swap a few stories and share practical ideas for the real world. I don't ask for much, just a bit of your brain every now and then. Have a seat, take a load off, and relax...
Hi Robert, Great photo.
Those are three pretty good tips. Here’s a book tip: The Power of Less by Leo Babuata is full of ideas about how to ditch bad habits and form good ones. The author had an amazing transformation, so he knows what he’s talking about.
.-= Brad Shorr´s last blog ..The Google Chrome Browser Diet =-.
Great tips, Robert.
One thing I’ve heard is to know your triggers (and I don’t mean horses, although I never met a Trigger I didn’t like). There are things that set off some habits, like maybe eating, “When I _____ I want to eat sugar.” Or, “I always want a cigarette when I ____.” Knowing your triggers and avoiding them helps avoid the habit that follows.
.-= Terry Heath´s last blog ..Display Unique Ads For Each WordPress Category With Thesis =-.
My first thought was, “Oh my. Drive-through ice cream…”
These tips are great. I like the idea of purposefully making a decision ahead of time.
Although this isn’t expressly about ice cream (which I will, for sake of discussion, consider to be not entirely “good”), I found that by doing something far more healthful earlier in the day makes it easier for me to decide about indulging in ice cream. I’d be able to justify that I’d done something good, already, if I chose to have ice cream. What would happen more often though, was that I’d think, “Heck, I was running at 5am! No way am I going to derail that healthy effort by having ice cream!”. Actively creating another, healthier, habit helped keep me better balanced, rather than just trying to fight the bad habits…
.-= Wendee´s last blog ..Too much pensive stuff for you? Okay, fine; Try this then =-.
@Brad – Yeah, I’ve heard bits of Leo’s story; very impressive guy. Thanks for the suggestion, Brad!
@Terry – (I always loved Trigger, too, Terry.) I like that descriptive; it really is a trigger! Hey, thanks for dropping by, Bubba!
@Wendee – I know what you mean about “for the sake of discussion”, Wendee. But using “broccoli” instead of “ice cream” probably wouldn’t have generated as much empathy with the readers, don’cha think?
But you got a good technique, though – creating a better habit to replace a bad one. I like it!
Good ‘un, Robert! Your comment about how subtle a behavior can become a habit is important! How many times does an innocent indulgence set up shop as a habit for bad behavior? It’s easy to treat ourselves to ice cream, a donut, an extra glass of wine, a day off from exercise or whatever. I really liked Terry’s trigger comment – mine is usually high stress. You and Wendee should know that your comments triggered a serious craving for ice cream – but you’re off the hook as my ice cream habit requires no trigger. Luckily I had “SO Delicious” brand coconut milk bars (like almond Dove bars) in the freezer. Only 170 calories, no trans fat and really so delicious…so I guess I have to add – be prepared to trick your trigger or meet yourself half way.
.-= Jeanne Male´s last blog ..What Does Career Satisfaction “Look Like” to You? =-.
@Jeanne – “Trick your trigger”! Hey, that’s good advice, and one we’ve been using ourselves. Although you really gotta watch what’s in them things you’re substituting; sometimes the cure ain’t so hot, y’know?
Robert, for your information, if you’re repeating the same action (No matter it’s good or bad) for the consecutive three weeks, then it would turn into a habit, period!
I give my bad habits to the Lord, it really helps. After all, Jesus said “When you are weak I am strong.”
.-= marc´s last blog ..Things to do in Berlin =-.
I think focusing the money you would save helps a lot and when possible go put a deposit down on whatever it is you are saving for. Then whenever you are tempted by burgers, beer, ice cream etc you are motivated to abstain.
.-= jenny´s last blog ..Wedding Planners in Spain =-.
Goodness me, you should be grateful it is only ice-cream, although it does take its toll on the waistline. Maybe you could buy yourself a smaller pair of pants that you want to get into and keep them in the car!
.-= Doxie´s last blog ..Top treadmills at low prices =-.
Great post, Robert. Another way to avoid bad habits is to find someone else to help hold you accountable. My wife and I have gotten pretty good at this over the years. We know each other’s triggers and weaknesses (luckily most of them aren’t the same, or we’d REALLY be in trouble), and will gently remind or nudge each other in the right direction when we see the other being tempted. ‘Course, the key word there is “gently,” which differs from the word “nag” if you’ll notice the spelling. It’s a love thing.
.-= Kyle´s last blog ..SkyWatch Friday #58 =-.
I find that you need to motivate yourself with the positive outcome of you breaking the bad habit.
My recent one was stop swearing. My motivation: I have a 3 year daughter who is a sponge and will repeat (with understanding) everything.
I always wanted to quit but this motivation of avoiding my daughter from learning those words did the trick!
.-= Kris´s last blog ..Portable Coffee Maker =-.
@Wilson – I’ve heard that so many times, it must be right. Maybe that’s why it takes so much to break one?
@marc – Couldn’t agree with ya more on that, Marc!
@Jenny – Y’know, that’s not a bad technique, Jenny. But to tell you the truth, I’m saving a fortune by NOT smoking these days – but I didn’t care HOW much it cost back when I used to do it. (That was about 35 years ago.) I don’t think that’s enough to make someone stop a bad habit. It has to be, well, more important than money.
@Doxie – And what? Change into them while I’m driving? I can see me explaining THAT one to the nice officer…
But I get yer drift, Doxie; you’re on the right track. Thanks for the tip!
@Kyle – Aha! There’s a sound technique! Mrs. MZM and I are workin’ up some things now that should help us in the future. It’s tough when we’re both tempted by the same things, though…
@Kris – An excellent observation, Kris – it’s all about motivation. I think you picked a good one in your daughter, too. Sorta like Kyle’s idea below: in a way you’re being held accountable by her fresh, impressionable little mind. Good one, Kris!
@Frank – It’s hard to let go of bad habits, what usually works for me is focus on something else. As long as your habit stops being part of your every day life it’ll blow over. Of course that’s not possible for all habits, but for the little ones that works.
@Frank – Yeah, I can see how changing your focus would help. Easy to say, though, but not so easy to do, y’know? How do you do it?
Really great advice. I feel sometimes that my bad habits stop me from realizing my full potential. I would never do homework in school but still managed good grades, but I could’ve easily had a perfect score in every class if I did my homework. Luckily I broke that habit in college and have a 4.0 so far.
.-= Daniel´s last blog ..Who Invented Television =-.
@Daniel – A 4.0? Hey, good for you! just keep that “learnin’ mindset” and you’ll do fine, Bubba! You’ll be <i.<amazed at what you can accomplish!
Thanks for sharing this advice and great topic with us.
[...] triggered 5. Where are habits stored [...]
[...] triggered 5. Where are habits stored [...]
@Alicia – You’re welcome and a tip o’ the hat to ya!
They I stopped drinking coca cola (and coke in generally) was to simply not give myself the option, don’t even let it into my mind. I eat out a lot (not necessarily unhealthy), and if I start to think about what to drink, coke slips into my mind and it’s hard to get go. So I fix that very easy by not thinking about it and always pick still/sparkling water.
I could take a pint lager if it’s in the weekend or another occasion, though.
(PS: Only coke I’ve had since January is a cherry pepsi from when I was on vacation in California).
.-= Klaus @ TechPatio´s last blog ..How To Fix “Logitech Control Center” (LCC) Support In Mac OS X 10.6 Snow Leopard =-.
I have certain bad habits that I’ve wrestled to break (heck, I think we all have, haven’t we?). My new daily mantra as of late has been: 1.) Set Clear Goals, 2.) Work Hard, and 3.) Have An Unwavering Focus.
It’s in the setting of the goals that I’m reminded I have to keep away/ditch certain bad habits otherwise I risk never reaching my goal.
.-= Ricardo Bueno´s last blog ..A Few Reasons to Like Posterous =-.
@Klaus – I’ve done the same thing (although I admit to having one or two every great once in a while) by getting water and squeezing limes into it. Makes a delicious and refreshing alternative that’s always free! (I like free.)
Good for you, Klause!
@Ricardo – I think you got it right, Ricardo, and good luck, Bubba! Maintain that kind of focus and you’ll go far!