The Weed
Can a tiny little bit of resentment really be all that bad? I mean, it’s so small, and that – well, let’s call it anger ’cause that’s what it really is – is just a lil’ tiny thing, ain’t it? Besides, sometimes holding a little anger in can be kinda delicious, can’t it?
But over the years I’ve come to realize that no matter how teeny tiny that anger starts out, it can still have an amazing grip on my heart. Here’s what I mean…
Lord of My Domain
There’s just something about owning your own home, you know? Please forgive me if I come across as all that, y’all. I dunno; maybe it’s a sortof “lord of your domain” kind of thing when you “own” a patch of God’s green Earth for yourself, y’know?
Anyhoo – I derive a certain satisfaction standing on my front porch, looking out over the small patch of land I owe so much money on own. Having performed this exercise more than a few times, I’ve gotten rather familiar with my own property. What’s more, it’s pretty easy to tell when there’s something not quite right. A disturbance in the force, perhaps? An object that didn’t belong?
Suddenly I spotted the offensive element – right at my feet! Oh, the horror! There in my front garden – right next to the walk where any visitor could see it – was a (sound of terrified scream) weed! Well, it really wasn’t all that big. In fact, it was only about 2 inches tall. But set against our dark brown mulch, the bright green leaves made it easy to see.
OK; now you’re probably thinkin’ to yourself, What the heck is the big deal? I mean, it’s only a weed, right? I mean, it’s not like it was a triffid or anything. And you’d be correct up to a point. After all, when you have a garden, finding a weed here and there is pretty much a given. (Find a triffid, on the other hand, and you’d better run for your life! Just sayin’.)
Anyway, I did what any self-respecting homeowner woulda done: I reached down to gently, er, rip the little booger outta the ground (you have to do it just right or you don’t get the roots out, you know), only to find… the darned thing wouldn’t budge! Harumph.
Now, that kinda surprised me, since this particular weed was so small. I mean, how deep could the roots be, anyway? And how strong? After all, I’m a big, giant man – and I’m ‘waaay stronger than any puny little ol’ weed! So I bent down, got a better grip on the weed’s stem, and started pulling, gently but firmly. With fairly steady pressure, it would eventually let go.
At first, nothing happened. Finally, I saw it slowly coming loose. The only thing was, a surprisingly large patch of the garden was coming up with it! My eyebrow lifted in a remarkable imitation of Mr. Spock, and I’m almost sure I heard the word, “Fascinating” in the whisper of the breeze.
Sheesh, I thought, what’s this thing wrapped around? Those dang roots must be down somewhere near China! I had visions of unearthing a misplaced treasure chest filled with lost pirate’s gold or something. And now I had to pull that out along with the offending weed.
Finally, I got it completely out of the ground, and was rewarded with my Catch of the Day: a two-inch weed attached to a big clump of dirt – and a four-inch piece of wood! I’m tellin’ ya; that weed wasn’t gonna give up without a fight!
Anyway, having come out the victor in this particular battle of wills, I sneered in my best Jimmy Cagney impression, “Nyah; thought ya had me, ya little weasel! But I showed ya who was boss here, didn’t I! Nyah!” (Hey, sometimes I gotta be my own entertainment.)
Needless to say, that little weed never stood a chance against someone as big as me (not that I’m, er, big, mind you!) But what surprised me was the way the roots of that little guy managed to get such a good grip on that piece of wood – not to mention the sizable clump of dirt it brought out with it.
The thing is, roots can be like that, can’t they? They work their way into the tiniest of crevices in dirt, rocks or whatever, and can be heck to completely get out. And wow, they can have quite the deathgrip, if you know what I mean.
The Root of Bitterness
There’s an interesting statement in the Bible (actually, it’s in Hebrews, chapter 12, verse 15, if you care to look it up) that uses a word-picture combination that has always stuck with me. Here’s the verse:
See to it that no one comes short of the grace of God; that no root of bitterness springing up causes trouble, and by it many be defiled…
… and the words of interest are right there in the middle: root of bitterness.
What’s a root of bitterness, you may ask? Well, it’s a fair question. A root of bitterness is what the writer of Hebrews calls that little, angry, resentful feeling you get when you don’t like bein’ disciplined for your own good.
Remember when you were a little kid, and you did something stupid, or wrong, or mean? Chances are good that your parents, or your teacher (or hopefully someone appropriate) laid some discipline on ya, right? It happens all the time, even when we’re grown up, too.
Everywhere we turn, life, the universe, and everything tends to discipline us when we do stuff that’s out of line, doesn’t it? Oh, it might not be right away. I mean, you may think you’re getting away with it. But I’m tellin’ ya; sooner or later, she all comes home to roost, if you get my meanin’.
Here’s where the rubber meets the road, though. If you’re still teachable (hopefully that includes you!), then that discipline actually serves to make you a better person. But if you’re not… well, you may just end up a bitter, angry person. Hey, you know it’s true, right?
I find the choice of those particular words “root of bitterness” fascinating, don’t you? It describes perfectly what’s happening down inside your heart. Even the tiniest bit of anger, just like that tiny little weed, can get quite a grip on the fabric of your soul. Once there, it can be pretty tough to root out, y’know?
What to do? Well, it’s pretty simple, really. Just deal with whatever the situation is that caused the anger. And whatever you do – don’t let it fester or it’ll get worse! Roots have a way of growin’ deep when you ignore ‘em. I’m just sayin.
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Photo: Tiny weed, by bishib70
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Middle Zone Musings is a comfortable place to stop, have a cup of coffee, swap a few stories and share practical ideas for the real world. I don't ask for much, just a bit of your brain every now and then. Have a seat, take a load off, and relax...
We would have such fun as neighbors Robert! You throwing weed killer over my fence and me pitching prairie flower seeds over yours….
Your point is a good one. If you are unable to let an irritation go, dealing with it quickly and honestly can prevent a whole lot of problems down the road.
.-= Fred H Schlegel´s last blog ..Tackling the Uncertainty Paradox – An Introduction =-.
@Fred – Thanks, Bubba! Although I can’t say I always follow my own advice, it’s certainly been the best way to handle things – by far!
Hi Robert, Such a big point from a little weed. Sometimes we call sowing seeds of bitterness “nursing a grudge”. Why is it that we are so prone to do that? Sometimes we take a perverse pleasure in building up a perceived offense in our minds … is it that we need an enemy, something to fight? Or is it a deep fear of confrontation, or even a deep fear of being happy?
.-= Brad Shorr´s last blog ..Business Theory in Process – The Uncertaintly Paradox =-.
Well, if we can’t entertain ourselves then who can we entertain? Great illustration of an important point!
.-= Terry Heath´s last blog ..Goldilocks and the Three Personal Development Gurus =-.
@Brad – I dunno, Brad; it’s a mystery to me why the tendency is there at all. I mean, it’s not like we don’t KNOW it’s gonna hurt us more than anyone else, right?
@Terry – Thanks, and a tip o’ the hat, Terry!
Robert,
I like that sentence of yours:
“Just deal with whatever the situation is that caused the anger. And whatever you do – don’t let it fester or it’ll get worse!”
I have experiences with that – there is a misunderstanding, you’ve got the impression that someone really dislikes you, you can’t explain why, you begin to get hard feelings yourself. And whenever you meet the person in question you see her or him as a kind of enemy.
And quite often, when I took my heart in my hand and asked the person if she or he got anything against me, we solved the problem. But the more time you take to do this, the more difficult is it. Don’t let it fester!
.-= Ulla Hennig´s last blog ..The Beauty of Water =-.
@Ulla – You’re right of course. But the mystery is why, even knowing what we know about festering sores and ingrown anger, we do it anyway! *sigh*
Still, bein’ forewarned is a good first step, wouldn’t you say? Thanks for sharing, Ulla, and a tip o’ the hat!
Yeah, you’re right about it, Robert. We should solve up the problem in the very beginning, before it going worse and spreading like wildfire…
@Wilson – That’s it in a nutshell, Wilson!
Really good post, Robert. May God use your words to open eyes.
.-= paul merrill´s last blog ..A little whine for you =-.
@Paul – Thanks, and a tip o’ the hat to ya, Paul, for those kind words. I pray that, too.
[...] things I was reminded of upon encountering a surprisingly resistant little weed (see “The Weed“). Anyhoo, I’m sure you see my point, right? There’s all kinds of things you can [...]
Robert,
Very insightful comparison between the seemingly insignificant “root of bitterness” we so easily nurture and the often innocent-looking yet incredibly tenacious weed. Classic MZM fare! Reminds me of why I love MZM so much!
About knowing as much as we do about “festering sores and ingrown anger” and doing it anyway: I’d say that’s precisely because our emotions are so deeply embedded in our psyches, so non-logical, and so incredibly complex. Just as the weed is fed by its strong, deep root system, our negative emotions are fed by a twisted network of unhappy memories and negative perceptions from our past that we’ve buried so deep beneath the surface that we barely know they’re there most of the time (consciously); yet they intertwine more and more over time and keep our negative emotions thriving–unless we uproot and expose them to the light of day. As long as they remain buried in the darkness, they remain “safe.”
So, it isn’t so much understanding the concept of hidden anger that will help us (though that’s certainly a start); it’s doing the hard work of digging up the old memories and perceptions and understanding why and how they’re feeding and nurturing our current emotional turmoil and keeping it alive and well.
Thanks again for another great post!
Jeanne
@ Jeanne – Of course you’re right about what most of us need to do. The problem is, the idea of all that rooting around in the darkness of the psyche is downright scary! I mean, who knows what kinds of dark, creepy, icky things are lurking around in there? And that’s the problem, I think; it’s that dark, spooky image most of us think of when it comes to this sort of thing.
Maybe it’s better to think of the psyche as an old trunk full of lots of things that perhaps we might have forgotten over the years. When opened, we may find treasures long forgotten, or we may find just a few “old things” that have lost their usefulness; but at least now they’ve seen the light of day, they can be either recovered – or ditched.
Great way of looking at it, Robert! The idea of rooting around in the darkness of the psyche certainly is a scary one, which is why it’s so easy to avoid doing it. Your “old trunk” alternative is a really helpful and far less formidable way to view our memories of past experiences. (Of course, it doesn’t quite fit in with the weed/root of bitterness analogy, but, it’s such a good image in itself that we’ll just have to let that slide!
) I definitely like the idea of recovering the treasures and ditching the old things that have lost their usefulness.
@Jeanne – Hey, I appreciate that you’re gonna “let me slide”! I need all the help I can get, y’know…
i totally agree with robert, problems like this must be solved the fastest we can , before its to late.
i invite you all to visit my blog :
http://telasubo.blogspot.com
yes. the best way to remove the root of bitterness is to solve it .only it has been removed, it could not result anger ,or unhappiness.life could not bu full of perfect,so just try our best to do what we can