That's a Mighty BIG 'But'
OK; I admit it – I’m one of those people who exhibits the infantile behavior of snickering every time I write the word ‘but’. Sorry; I guess it’s just one of those things I never grew out of.
So you’ll be understandin’ – and hopefully forgivin’ – my bad pun (which, me bein’ me and all, was entirely intended) when you consider the image I just had to include along with it.
Anyhoo -
Have you ever considered how, um, BIG that tiny little word ‘but’ can be?
For instance, the other day, I had to turn down a truly generous offer from a good friend. I’ll tell ya; it truly pained me to do it, too. It went something like this: “Your incredibly generous offer touched my heart, but – I just have too many things going on that weekend and just can’t make it.”
The thing is, when you turn someone down like that, I find it’s usually a good idea to put something nice at the beginning of that sentence. That way the blow is somewhat lessened, if you get my meanin’.
Sometimes ‘but’ can actually be a relief – as in, “Y’know, Larry, I’d love to help you move on Saturday, but – my pet lizard has his birthday that day.”
I’ve actually used a variation of this one (it wasn’t a lizard – let’s leave it at that), and I’ll have to admit; it’s sometimes difficult to hide the, y’know, glee in my voice. Gotta work on that one.
Every now and then, it heralds good news: “Susan, we’re having to let go your assistant, but, the good news is your deadlines are still rock solid!”
It’s sorta the ol’ “good news – bad news” thing. Never have been able to decide which I’d rather have first, though. Maybe the bad news first. Or, maybe not.
So what about you? Found any creative ways to use the word “but” lately?
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Photo credit: Elephant Butts, by lukiffer
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Middle Zone Musings is a comfortable place to stop, have a cup of coffee, swap a few stories and share practical ideas for the real world. I don't ask for much, just a bit of your brain every now and then. Have a seat, take a load off, and relax...
Robert, “But” can be a painful word. Especially in one of those responses where you know it’s coming. Just goes to show you how little words can have enormous impact on our feelings. Excellent post!
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I love MZM! And I’d love to leave a comment, but I’m short on time this morn. I hope you’ll understand.
@Brad – Yeah, the most painful one I remember usually comes when hoping to hear I got “that job”. Very traumatic!
Teeny tiny word – huge impact!
@Troy – Uh, Troy? I think you just DID leave one…
“yes, but” = no.
Robert, I opened my feed reader, clicked the link and laughed so hard it shook the monitor. The picture got me started and then I was so tickled that every mention of “but” sent me into a new fit of laughter.
I loved this post but you should have warned me not to have liquids nearby. bwahahahahaha
Karen Swims last blog post..The Warm Fire of Aloha
I was once told that “but” basically negates everything that you said before it. i.e. You are a great worker BUT you need to pick up the slack in your deadlines. If we don’t want to do that we need to use “AND”. i.e. You are a great worker AND you need to pick up the slack in your deadlines. I know there is more to it than this but it is a helpful starting point.
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@Tully – Well, yes. But no isn’t always a bad thing, is it? (See example #2 above). I guess it depends on which end of the conversation you’re on.
@Karen – Guess I’m gonna have to figure out a rating system for the Zone one of these days. Let’s see… G = goofy stuff, S = serious stuff, B = blows milk out yer nose stuff…
@Kevin -I guess you could say ‘but’ introduces a contrast of some kind, while ‘and’ indicates an addition. Come to think of it – I think you just did!
Hey, thanks for the contribution, Kevin, AND of course, a tip o’ the hat to ya!
I try to use “and” instead of “but”. I notice a difference in myself when I say it. Hopefully it helps the listener too.
Jean Browman–Cheerful Monks last blog post..I Can’t Believe I Did That Again!
Robert, I am more comfortable using “however” in place of “but.”
“But” makes me think of butting heads and “however” offers me the question of how.
I also have found that saying, “Thank you for asking or inquiring about_________, however, __________ does not work for me.” is a more postitive and gracious way of saying “no.” Try it and let me know how it works for you. Cheers, Sheila
Okay Robert, Can you see me smiling? “But” makes me giggle too. I saw Karen’s tweet and ran right over, but I can’t stay long. Must go giggle… loudly.
I almost see a big flat hand stop signal in a sentence when I come upon the word. It’s telling me yes I meant that/ this, now go over here and look at this too.
Can I borrow the pet lizard’s birthday thing?… I like that.
Oh my gosh your quote of your lizard having his birthday hit my funny bone! Totally caught me off guard.
There’s also a creature called the “yabbits”, which can escape quite readily from one’s mouth, if care isn’t taken.
The conversation may go like this:
“How about calling up some of your former colleagues to see if they know of any jobs.”
“Yabbit…they’re probably too busy.”
“How about asking them to join you for a game of pool & then ask?”
“Yabbit, when?”
And, so it goes.
Hard to round those critters up, at times.
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@Jean – Good tip, Jean; I’ll try to remember to do it myself. Although I will miss the moment of, y’know, comedy.
@Sheila – Hey, I like that! I’ll have to add that one to my
repetrowrepetoreruputootybag of tricks!@Janice – Yeah, I get the ‘hand’ thing, too. And yes, you can have a birthday for YOUR pet lizard any time you want! Mine won’t mind.
@Val – Hey, you know you should always have your guard up when you visit the Zone! I’m just sayin’.
@Marianna – I think I’m familiar with the “yabbit”. In fact, I just saw one this very afternoon!
Hmm, don’t have any interesting uses of the word to add – but – I wanted to say that I definitely prefer to hear the bad news first
@Hilda – Actually, I’ve always sorta been that way too, Hilda. Guess I like things to finish on a high note or sumpin’.
I’m just found one now, “I love those big elephants’ butts, BUT it’s too huge for me to clean up their poos!” lol
Just kidding… Robert, to be honest, I’ve tried my best to persuade my old folks to move out from the countryside and staying with me, but they refused to do it! Sigh…
@Wilson – Sounds like a pretty sad ‘but’ to me, Wilson. Hey, keep tryin’ – you never know…