[Note from the Proprietor: This is one of an ongoing series of posts called Scenes From a Sidewalk. Want to know what it's all about? Follow that link to read the series introduction.]

_______________________________

When facing worry, fear and doubt; run in circles, scream and shout!

- A “less than optimum” formula for facing troubled times

First of all, lemme just say, er, sorry for the, um, slightly disgusting photo there. But it IS something I found on my daily trek on the sidewalk… Besides, it speaks volumes to me (not that I’m in the habit of, um, listening to dead insects… or dead anything, for that matter).

Anyhoo…

Show of hands: How many times have you ever felt like the unfortunate little critter in the photo here – when life has turned around and pretty much flattened you like a big ol’ ten-ton bag of steaming donkey poo? Yep; thought so. [Note from the Proprietor: I assure you, the use of donkey poo and its implied political commentary was entirely accidental! But I think I'll leave it.]

Hey, I know what it’s like; I’ve been there too.

A Thankless Job

About 8 years ago, I spent an entertaining three months on a project in Taiwan. Then upon my return, I worked for the same company at their office in Dallas, Texas for yet another three months before it finally ended. (When you’re a contract employee, in some ways it’s a thankless job because getting laid off is the usual way a project ends. In a way, you sorta get immune to it after a while, although it’s never exactly fun.)

Now, whenever that sorta thing happened, I’d immediately switch to “job search mode”. You know what I mean, don’t you? Update resumes, make phone calls, pestering everybody in contact your network – you know; throwin’ all the usual things up against the wall to see what sticks. To my surprise, though, instead of a few days off, followed by a new job – my, er, “utilizationally-challenged” days began to stretch out into weeks. Gradually, weeks turned into months, and the months (sound of despondent sobbing) turned into – you guessed it – years.

I’m not kidding folks, it was almost 4 years to the day when I picked up my briefcase (er, figuratively speaking – I don’t normally carry a briefcase to work) and headed back to work again! And trust me when I say, that was a loooooooonnnnnnnnggggg four years!

I’ll tell ya; countless times during those years I experienced more than my fair share of confusion, frustration, aggravation – not to mention quite a few other -tion’s as well. And more than once I felt exactly like our little buddy la cucaracha up there.

You know, the problem with this sort of feeling is – it often leaves you thinkin’ you’re the only one in the whole world. You know what I mean, right? The “poor me” pattern. The “why does this hafta happen to me” malaise. The “nobody knows the trouble I seen” sob story.

No doubt about it; bein’ on the receivin’ end of life’s unpleasant surprises is a sure fire recipe for self-pity, self-doubt, and loneliness.

Oh, Woe is Poor, Poor Me!

There once was this guy named Elijah. (Hey, that sounds like the start of a limerick, doesn’t it?)

Now, this guy was a relatively unique individual – an Old Testament prophet. He was a crusty ol’ fellah, and probably wore your typical prophet’s robe cut from rough cloth since he lived out in the wilderness. His job was to proclaim God’s word boldly and with fervor in the face of the bad guys – I mean, he was pretty much the epitome of what folks thought of when they thought of the word, “prophet”.

One time, while confronting a particular evil king and queen (Ahab and Jezebel – history tells us they were the absolute worst ones ever), he challenged their entire priesthood of the false god called Baal to a sortof “wild west” showdown, just to prove who’s God was the Real Thing.

So Baal’s priests built an altar – then Elijah built an altar. They put a sacrifice on theirs – and he put one on his, too. Then just for the heck of it, he had them pour water all over his altar’s wood to make it impossible to burn.

Then the priests prayed to Baal to call fire from heaven and prove their worth. (This is from 2 Kings, Chapter 1, in case you’d like to check it out.) Alas for them, nothing happened. (Musta had a wrong number?)

Finally, after several hours of this nonsense, Elijah prayed to God, and not only did fire come streaming down from heaven to his altar, it also consumed the stones of the altar, the water, Baal’s priests’ altar – and by the way, all of Baal’s priests, too!

Now, you’d think, with this kind of affirmation backin’ you up, you’d have a little confidence in your God, wouldn’t you?

Oddly enough, it didn’t – quite – turn out that way!

Immediately after this truly eye-popping event, Queen Jezebel got so angry that she turned several shades of red, then threatened the life of our hero Elijah (you know, the same guy who just totally, er, toasted the Queen’s private army of priests) and what did he do? Stand up boldly and call her out? Stride up to her and slap her silly? Spit in her eye?

Well… uh, not exactly! Instead of standing up to her, he turned and ran for his life, hiding in a cave as far away as he could get. Then he cried out to God that he was the only one to suffer as much humiliation as he, and to please take him to heaven now, thank you very much, so he wouldn’t have to face that evil whack job Jezebel!

Well, I don’t know about you, but that just seems too weird! Here he was, the genuine, bona-fide winner in the “my God is bigger than your god” contest, and this is how he acts? I mean, c’mon!

Well, God let Elijah stew in his own self-pitying juices for awhile, then told him that, not only was he not alone, but that there are over 700 others “out there” who followed God – and that he should stop feelin’ so sorry for himself. In other words, “You ain’t alone, Bubba, so get up off your sorry butt and get back to work!”

You’re Not Alone!

The fact is, no matter how you feel, you’re really not alone. And I wasn’t either. All I had to do was – turn my focus outward instead of inward in order to find other folks just like me!

Understand, now, I don’t mean, “there’s lotsa other folks sufferin’ like you are”. No, what I mean is, there are others out there with whom you have something in common – now go find them and see what you can do for ‘em!

The truth is, when I spend time thinkin’ about my own woes, well, it’s a sure-fire way to end up depressed. But when I focus on others – be the lovely Mrs. MZM, my friends, or whoever – hey, as long as it wasn’t, y’know, all about me, then things started lookin’ up.

Oh, don’t get me wrong; it still took four years to get another job. It’s just that, once I learned to think about others instead of myself, the time just somehow passed quicker. Amazing how that works – but there it is.

I’m just sayin’.

Bonus Round

p.s. For some strange reason, the idea of an actual limerick somehow stuck in my brain for a few days, and lo and behold, one actually materialized! So as an added bonus, I give you…

Elijah’s Limerick

God spoke through a guy named Elijah
To Ahab, said, “Just can’t abide ya!
I’ll call down the fire;
Roast your priests on a pyre;
And you’ll know, when I’m done, Who’s the Higher!”

(Note: To make it rhyme properly, you have to use a distinctive New York State accent. The words “fire”, “pyre” and “higher” are all spoken like this: “fi-ah”, “py-ah”, and “high-ah”.)

Hey, I never said it was a good limerick.

_____________________________

Photo: Squished! by Robert Hruzek

_____________________________

Note from the Proprietor: This is also an entry for this month’s What I Learned From… groupwrite project. If you’d like to join the fun, just click on that link and read all about it. Everyone is welcome – you may even win a free prize!

_____________________________