It's a Snap!
Hey, I’m no marketer (and no, I never played one on TV, either). Nevertheless, over the years I’ve learned a thing or two on the subject. At least, enough to be dangerous.
So I have a question for ya.
Have you ever wondered who invented the finger snap? (And how’s that for an abrupt topic change? Stick with me a minute, y’all; I’m, er, almost sure a point will come along in a minute.)
Anyway, back to the inventor of the finger snap. It’s a puzzler, for sure. Surely God wouldn’t have done such a thing. (And yes, I know; don’t call you Shirley. Unless your name IS, y’know, Shirley. Got it.)
I mean, can you imagine the Creator of Heaven and Earth strollin’ along with Adam and Eve, enjoin’ another fine evening in the Garden of Eden, when He abruptly comes to a sudden stop, snaps His fingers, and says, “Oh, wow! I forgot to create the Platypus! Hold on a sec… OK, Adam; you were sayin’?”
I dunno; I was just wonderin’. See, I have to admit to a, well, a kindof a Dark Secret: I have never been able to snap my fingers.
Oh, it’s not that I don’t know how. C’mon, y’all; give me some credit! (Or, failing that, how about a government bailout?) No, it’s just that, for whatever inexplicable reason, it simply doesn’t work for me. I can put my fingers in the correct positions, and even make all the right moves; alas, the only semblance of a noise I can ever produce is a sortof swishing noise as my fingers rub past each other. *sigh*
When I was a kid (that’s human, not goat), the fact that I couldn’t create that amazingly simple sound used to be a constant source of amusement to those spawn of Satan my friends. In fact, just to irritate me, they even made finger-snapping a prerequisite for admission to certain clubs. It’s true. To this day, I have no idea what they did behind those closed doors because to my embarrassment, I couldn’t, well, you know (sound of heartfelt sobbing).
The thing is, as a kid that handicap always made me feel incomplete, if you know what I mean; as if I had been somehow short-changed when it came to talents, or like there was a bug in my software, or somethin’. Hey, all the other kids could do it; why couldn’t I? For the longest time it really bothered me.
But not to worry, y’all! I think I’ve finally gotten a handle on it now. And I have – of all things – modern marketing techniques to thank for the inspiration.
See, instead of thinking of it as a shortcoming, I’ve learned to turn things around and look at it from a completely different point of view. I’ve learned to celebrate the fact that I can’t snap my fingers worth a dang!
So how, exactly, did I accomplish such a complete transformation of my formerly – well, let’s be honest here – sucky attitude, you ask? Hey, it’s easy! It’s all in how I choose to look at it.
See, I don’t think of it as a bug; I now consider it a… feature! (sound of rimshot)
And Now for Today’s Question:
Is there anything you can’t do that most people you know can? Would you dare take a chance, and throw your anoonimousness anormosity anunnerminusity caution to the winds? Well, here’s your chance, fellow Bubbas!
Share with us, if you dare, what astonishing lack of skill, talent, or ability you never had. Y’know; the one everyone else seems to have no problem manifesting. C’mon, y’all; let’s have a giant celebration of uniqueness here!
Join me in celebrating your newly-minted… features!
No responses yet
Middle Zone Musings is a comfortable place to stop, have a cup of coffee, swap a few stories and share practical ideas for the real world. I don't ask for much, just a bit of your brain every now and then. Have a seat, take a load off, and relax...
i can’t whistle. Have tried for decades.
jnswansons last blog post..sometimes music takes other people
What?! You can’t whistle? I thought that was something… well, y’know… everybody – Hrm… Well, as for me, I guess that’s a subject for yet ANOTHER post. I can’t whistle either. Luckily Mrs. MZM accepts me even with all my faults! :-\
Robert, I’ve never been able to burp. Except maybe when I was an infant; I don’t remember.
Brad Shorrs last blog post..Announcing! Cell Phone Contest Prizes
I can’t jump over a high jump bar. Not even when it’s set to about a foot. Don’t seem to be able to communicate with the trailing leg.
My inabilities in this regard caused so much hilarity when I was at school that I had to be taken out of the class – was putting everybody else off.
Oh, and thinking back to gym hall horrors I never once managed to climb an inch up a rope.
Joanna Youngs last blog post..Simply Seven Things I’m Up To (Or Not)
@Brad – You can’t burp? Now that’s weird! I must admit, that’s the first time I’ve ever heard that one. Congratulations, Brad! You may actually BE unique!
@Joanna – Hey, don’t worry ’bout it, Joanna. NOBODY gets the rope climb!
Wow! You guys have made my morning! I can (or could) high jump, climb a rope, burp, snap my fingers and whistle. A couple of these even at the same time. Maybe I’m part of the gifted and talented after all.
Jim Hughess last blog post..Grief: “Please tell me how to do it.”
Jim, I have some bad news. We, um, hate you. (No, just kidding!) But I must admit, I did hate that kid in school… But I’m over it now. :-O
I can whistle, and I can snap my fingers, but I can’t whistle WITH my fingers.
I can rub my stomach and pat my head, though!
Oh, and I can’t climb a rope to save my life … and hopefully, it will never come to that, or I’m doomed!
–Debs last blog post..Mental Radar
Holy cow! I grew up thinking I was the only person on the planet who couldn’t whistle. I can’t tell you how much better I feel knowing I’m not the only non-whistler around. I also can’t blow up balloons. Have always figured the two skills were somehow related.
Hmmm.
I can’t:
Throw a frisbee
Whistle
Leap tall buildings with a single bound
Part my hair down the middle
Yodel
So there.
George
Tumblemooses last blog post..Writer’s best of, a poll and a prize
I can’t seem to grow much hair on the top of my head, no matter how hard I try. I’ve noticed that most other people can do it without even trying.
Barry Wallaces last blog post..More D.A. Carson audio
I have noticed that most people have a pretty long list of stuff they cannot do, but to compensate they have a few things they do really well.
I seem to be in the unusual position of being able to do anything, but I cannot seem to do any of them well.
Actually that may not be unusual, but people who do nothing well never make the news or get brought up in conversation. We are literally, unremarkable – as in, there is no reason to make a remark about a normal person.
I think I am abnormally normal.
BTW, I am not complaining. Variety is the spice of life, but no one would appreciate the spice without something boring to put it in. Ever eaten a spoonful of chili powder? Tastes much better in the chili. My job is to be the canvas that shows off all the non-snapping, broken-whistle, well-grounded, burp-free, super-talented people.
@Deb – What is it about that rope thing (shudder)? But I’d be careful about tryin’ to do too many of those at the same time… I mean, you never know…
@Jeanne – Welcome to the club, Jeanne. But that balloon thing, now… I don’t know. Don’t you just, y’know, put your lips together and… blow? But hey, we’ll help you celebrate your features, whatever they might be!
@George – I don’t know, George; that’s not what I heard! :-O
@Barry – Hey, Bubba; now you’re hittin’ below the belt! Alas, I can identify with ya though.
On the other hand, I was pretty good at it when I was younger. Try to picture, instead of a hat, an afro the size of a basketball…
@Luke – And we truly appreciate ya, Bubba! Thanks for, um, bein’ there!
I can’t make a fart sound with my hand under my underarm. Let me tell you, in the school playground that is considered a major handycap! Now let’s never speak of this again.
Eek! She said “fart”! I remember back when I was 8 that was the funniest thing imaginable. Something about that word, I guess.
Um… Danielle; did anyone ever tell you the Internet is, y’know, forever?
Mwa-ha-ha-ha-ha!
Hi,
I am so normal since I couldn’t climb the rope (I never aspired to being a stunt actor so – so what). But this is odd (and I don’t care), I can snap my fingers on only one hand and it’s my left hand (and I’m right handed). Does this mean lack of something in my right brain. Now I’ll have to worry about my abilities – again.:)
Sorry, Bubba; didn’t mean to, um, “bring it to the fore”, if you get my meanin’. But hey, judging from the whacko comments we’ve had, at least you’re in great company!
I can whistle, but I can’t snap my fingers and making some awesome sound, isn’t it weird, Robert?
By the way, I loved this articles!
Hey, welcome to the club, Wilson!
I can’t think of anything that is really common…except I dont know how to play poker which doesnt really count because I know I could if I tried. Another two things are skateboarding and golfing. Absolutely terrible.
C’mon, Peter – ya gotta give us something!
i cant whistle too
but what the heck there a lots of things diff people cant do…life goes on
I’m not sure how someone can actually claim they invented that. I’m sure people have been doing that for hundreds maybe thousands of years.
Perhaps they have, Taylor; perhaps they have. But I still can’t! *sigh*
[...] commented on abnormal normality at http://middlezonemusings.co… 12:20 PM Dec 12th from [...]