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OK, I’ve been prognosticating a lot lately about goals, motivation, taking a leap, etc., and in the meantime painting a somewhat rosy picture of life as it could, and perhaps should, be. So… by now you’ve considered everything and finally decided to go for it. Great!

BUT (and note; that’s a BIG “but”!) what happens when you hit those (sound of terrified screaming) inevitable bumps in the road?

Like, for instance, that surreal encounter last week with the World’s Most Irrational Customer. Or, that time your computer choose the worst possible moment to have a hissy fit (which is something like a tizzy, but… more so) and eradicate your customer files. Maybe you accidentally transposed a couple of digits on your phone number before you had your business cards printed, and now people are getting Joe-Bob’s Discount House of Meat instead of you.

In other words (warning! metaphor alert!), you’re blithely flying along when, with no warning whatsoever, something takes the wind right out from underneath you?

A few of you may remember this - aside from my day job as a Consultant, I have my own business on the side with a company called Ignite (it’s quite amazing; we show folks how they can earn residual income from their energy bills). Our annual convention was in Dallas this past weekend, and lemme tell ya; it was quite the shindig! (Despite the, er, rather tempestuous weather that sorta stomped through the area.)

During one session, a 29-year Sr. Captain for American Airlines (who, after three years, also happens to be one of our top money-earners) was explaining that a lot of people ask him why he started an Ignite business. For his answer, he shared this story…

Come Fly With Me!

Ever had one of those mornings? Recently he and his copilot had something of an adventure on a flight from Dallas to, er, somewhere (sorry; can’t remember!).

Upon receiving clearance, he pushed the throttles forward and the aircraft smoothly started its roll. Unfortunately, as they reached “rotate” speed (which by the way, is well past the “point of no return”), one of their two engines began losing power. Needless to say, this is not a good time for that to happen!

Anyway, as they left the ground, he and his copilot calmly managed to correct for it (all those years of experience count for something!) by pushing that engine’s throttle nearly all the way forward. After a moment or two, everything seemed to be OK, so like many similar incidents, they didn’t bother mentioning it to the, er, passengers. (Besides, it’s not something I’d want to know!)

However, as they reached about 700 feet of altitude, the right-hand engine suddenly let loose with four loud bangs: BANG… BANG… BANG…….. BANG! (Kinda hard to hide that from the passengers!)

He looked at his copilot and told him, in a remarkable bit of understatement,“That’s not good!”

Well, after nothing further happened, they continued to climb - until they encountered severe wind shear! (For those who don’t know, wind shear is a sudden sideways movement of air. Doesn’t sound so bad, does it? But wind shear can completely eliminate the lift beneath an aircraft’s wings. Exceedingly dangerous at the wrong moment - like, during takeoff.)

Almost immediately, the plane dropped like a stone for a few seconds (several hundred feet), tossing anything loose into the air (luckily everybody was still buckled in!) After a few seconds, though, they got through it and proceeded to flight altitude. Whew!

He looked over at his copilot and said, “This never happens at my Ignite meetings!”

The Perils of Pauline

The thing is, when it comes to any endeavor, you just have to expect a few glitches to appear. It’s like death, taxes, and loss of hair; they’re pretty much inevitable. Stuff just has a way of happening no matter how well you’ve planned, schemed, or prayed. Life is like that, you know?

So what you gotta do, see (you have to use your Jimmy Cagney “gangster voice” here for the full effect), is make sure you’re prepared, see? And as usual, see, it’s not in the planning, see, it’s in the execution. See? (OK, you can stop now. Please.)

I think this guy’s story is a perfect example of how “things happen”, and we can learn how to handle them by dissecting it a bit and taking note of a few things. These are not necessarily in any particular order of importance (although some are obviously preliminaries to others).

Take care of the preliminaries first. Although this point is merely implied by the story, it’s still an extremely important point. There’s a lot to do before you actually get to the starting point of any journey. Research, planning, brainstorming… and that’s just to decide whether you’re going to get out of bed! (I’m kidding… right?) You can’t afford to skimp on this stuff, either - it’s the foundation of whatever you want to accomplish!

Apply the power and commit! (May you never grow tired of hearing that!) I remember seeing a poster in the production office of an Atlanta automobile manufacturing plant that read, “Sooner or later there comes a time when you have to shoot the engineers and start production.” As an engineer, it gave me pause… but as a human being, well, I understood the sentiment perfectly! There comes a time when you’ve planned enough and it’s just time to go. (This one’s for you, Joanna!

Stay focused. As you launch yourself into the wild blue yonder, remember to keep in the forefront of your brain the reason you’re doing this in the first place (your motivation, or your “why”). In the Bible, the apostle Paul used the metaphor of a race, admonishing us to “keep our eyes on the prize” at all costs. As long as you have that end state in mind, if something happens to distract you, it will always be the compass that puts you back on course.

React as quickly as possible. When something happens (and it will!), don’t procrastinate, search for blame, assume it’ll fix itself, or do any other of a hundred things that will keep you from taking care of it right away. Trust me; the longer you wait, the harder it will be to deal with later. It’s like regular dentist’s visit; they’re no picnic, but they sure beat losing all your teeth!

Have a support system in place. On any flight, both the pilot and copilot are fully occupied with the operation of the aircraft. I mean, it’s a somewhat complex piece of equipment, wouldn’t you say? Who’s to say your endeavor isn’t any less important? Surround yourself with folks who can serve as mentors, sounding boards, and sometimes just provide a word of encouragement. You’ll be glad you did - and you’ll go much farther, too.

Don’t let down your guard. It never fails, right? Just when you get one little challenge taken care of, yet another one - or three - pops up on the radar (or in your lap). See items #3 & 4 - keep focused and be ready to take care of it (or them) with no hesitation.

Be prepared to own up. Many times, challenges arise and are dealt with in such a way that nobody else even knows something’s up. But there are those times… Hey, there are at least a bazillion examples of politicians, celebrities or sports figures (and possibly even that person in the mirror) who didn’t own up to an issue, only to have it get far worse than it would have been if they had just admitted it to begin with, right?

Don’t stop! Sometimes, even if everything is going just peachy keen (which is a euphemism for swell), circumstances beyond your control will sneak up on you and simply knock the wind out from under your wings - just for the fun of it. Er, so to speak. What do you do, give up? Absolutely not! (Sound of fist banging on desk!) No, you keep going! You have to remember the plain and simple fact that it’s only a localized effect. Get past it (and don’t forget the corollary: learn from it) and everything will most likely be fine. (If that’s not enough, go back to steps #3, 4 & 5.)

Finally, if you’ve done all the above faithfully, and things just continue to go wrong no matter what you do…

Rethink your goals. It’s no shame to try something and fail (although you, like me, have likely been raised to think that way.) The fact is, despite the best planning and intentions, well, not every goal is necessarily achievable. (For instance, after considerable soul-searching, I have finally come to the disheartening realization that *sigh* I’ll never be a spaceman.) Maybe there are other, more worthy goals out there for you to aim for. Lots of great achievers can relate to that!

Rethink your strategy. OK, you’ve re-evaluated your goals and still think they’re right for you. Then you need to rethink your strategy for achieving them. Try a different approach. Think outside the duodecahedron (sorry, no boxes here!) Find a way. For most achievable goals, there are as many ways to get there as there are… people who reach them. It’s up to you to find it!

So what do you say? I’m sure there are other tips you might be thinking of as well. Got any good examples of the above items you care to share with us?

Why not contribute to the General Body of Knowledge here at the Zone and put them in the comment box?

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Two things about change are well known:

• As a rule, people hate change, and
• Change is inevitable

It’s ironic, huh? That the one thing pretty much everybody is universally adverse to - is impossible to avoid? (Ironic, as you know, is an ancient Arabic expression that means made entirely of iron.)

But am I correct in thinking it’s really not change that’s so hard to deal with; it’s the fear of change? I don’t know; maybe I’m splitting hairs, here.

But over the years it’s been my observation that, generally speaking, once I’m in the midst of a big life change, my life actually becomes easier. It’s the anticipation of the change that’s so hard on me! (Could it be because I’m too busy dealing with what changed to be afraid of it any more? Hmmm… have to think about that. What do you think?)

If that’s the case, though, then it sorta begs the question doesn’t it? How exactly do you get a handle on managing something you’d rather not even think about? How do you overcome the fear of change?

Oddly enough, I picked up a few tips on that from, well, a really, really big… Ferris wheel (sound of rimshot)!

What Goes Up…

Back in the Spring of 2000, Mrs. MZM and I spent a few days in Paris, just kinda wandering around and exploring the place. Among other things, we visited the Eiffel Tower (of course!), took a nighttime boat ride down the Seine (ooh-la-la!), checked out the Arc du Triomphe, and generally did the tourist thing for a few days.

But when we arrived at the Plaza de la Concorde we stumbled across, of all things, this absolutely humongous Ferris wheel! (Click on the photo for an, er, humongous view. Bwa-ha-ha-ha! Er, sorry.)

Now, ordinarily I’m not impressed by Ferris wheels. I mean, what’s the big deal? You get on, you go around and around a few times, you get off. Big whoop. But I must admit; this time size, er, mattered! I’m tellin’ ya; this thing was enormous!

See those passenger cars? Although they don’t look that big, each one of them was actually about 8 to10 feet wide and high (about 3 meters or so). There was room to comfortably seat about 8 people in each one.

Anyway, since it was the off-season (April) and there were virtually no tourists around, we got our pick of cars and climbed in. While we were waiting for the thing to start (who were we waiting for? There was nobody but us!), we just chatted about odds and ends - stuff we were planning to do next, my previous trip to Paris and how it compared with this one, etc.

Eventually we started moving, so smoothly and slowly that you literally couldn’t feel a thing (a very weird feeling, that; like the world is moving and we’re the ones standing still). Mrs. MZM, though, didn’t seem to react; we continued talking for several minutes until finally I pointed out the window at the Eiffel Tower (several miles away) and remarked about the incredible view.

[By the way, did I ever mention that Mrs. MZM is, er, sorta uncomfortable with heights? I accidentally discovered this during our honeymoon in Hawaii, when I pulled her up with me to the top of a 6-foot high wall to get a better view - and she couldn’t get down! So when I suggested we go for a ride on this thing, she was understandably nervous. But like the trooper she is, she was willing to give it a try.]

Anyway, once I pointed out the view, she turned around and stared, struck suddenly speechless. We’d moved from ground level to about 200 feet in the air, and to her amazement she hadn’t even noticed!

As a matter of fact, once she overcame the shock, from that point on she experienced no trepidation at all, even when we got a bonus - the operator stopped us right at the very top for about 10 minutes (as I said, we were the only riders). What a view!

The Four Fundamentals

So what was it that not only allowed Mrs. MZM to pretty much overcome her fear, but let her to truly enjoy an admittedly out-of-the-box (for her) experience? What specifically made the difference?

Well, after due consideration, I can think of several reasons.

• First, the Ferris wheel looked big, solid, and well built - nothing like those rickety things you see at most carnivals.
• Second, she could trust in the fact that I’d be right there with her, holding her hand (so if anything went terribly wrong, hey, at least we’d crash and burn together!)
• Third, lots of other people had survived the experience just fine.
• Fourth, the transition from stationary to moving was so smooth it was hardly noticeable.

The first three items are why she was willing to try it. But the last one is why she enjoyed it.

Now, after cogitating on that a bit, I came to realize something interesting. This list can also be useful to help us manage… change. So let’s look at how a ride on the biggest Ferris wheel I’ve ever seen can teach us valuable lessons about overcoming the fear of change.

Fundamental #1 - Is it solid and well built?

OK, let’s say there’s something you’d really like to accomplish, but it’s a bit out of your comfort zone. Hey, great - at least you’ve got a goal! Now, what’s the plan for accomplishing it? Is it solid, like the structure of that Ferris wheel? Is it well-crafted and sensible? Those are the questions you have to ask yourself before putting your trust in a plan.

But there’s an underlying question too. Is the thing you want to accomplish worth it? (For us, it was the view from the top that motivated us to get on board.) See, it’s all about motivation. Once you’ve assured yourself of the value of the goal, then motivation kicks in to make the doing much, much easier.

After all, there’s lots of things I’d simply rather not do (I think we can all relate to that!) But it’s the value of the result that is important to me, more than the thing I’m afraid of. So, I do them!

Fundamental #2 - Can you put your trust in it?

Chances are, there is something that sortof leads us to do pretty much everything, whether it’s a person, an inspiring bit of reading, or perhaps a principle. For Mrs. MZM, it was yours truly. The fact is, she would never have gotten on board if I hadn’t encouraged her - and accompanied her.

Yep; that’s a key point right there. Do you have any kind of support system for what you want to do? Are there others who are going with you? Cheering you on? Providing backup?

Fundamental #3 - Has it been done before?

I’m going to go out on a limb here (sound of branch beginning to snap) and say this: Chances are, you’re not the first one to do it! It’s highly likely that there is plenty of hysterical historical evidence that what you want to accomplish is indeed not only possible, but is being done every day! Unfortunately, in our *ahem* analysis, we usually concentrate on our own fear so much we miss that little detail.

After all, it was reasonable to assume (since it was still in business, and we couldn’t see any ambulances ‘standing by’) that plenty of folks had successfully negotiated this particular Ferris wheel - and lived to tell about it.

So check out the evidence of success that’s likely just a Google search away. Hey, you never know; you might be able to come up with a new way of accomplishing what turns out to be a not-so-uncommon thing!

Fundamental #4 - Can you take it slow (at first)?

OK, you’ve got your goal, and let’s say it’s a big, hairy, audacious one. Great! You’re comfortable with the plan, you’ve got your support system in place, and you know it can be done. Even better! Now, how do you turn that goal into action? Break it down into manageable steps.

But… what if there’s maybe one or two steps that make you nervous. OK let’s be honest - they scare you to death (sound of terrified scream). You’re not even sure you can do them.

Hey, the answer is as easy as - riding a big, giant Ferris wheel (sound of audience groaning and rolling their eyes)! Start off as slowly as you need to, build up to a comfortable speed, then hit it!

So What Did I Miss?

It’s kinda interesting, when you think about it. Wandering around Paris, just enjoying the sights, who would’ve thought we’d stumble across a life lesson that would help us manage many of the big changes we’ve experienced in our lives since then?

So what about it? Am I on the right track here? Or should I go back to my day job as a crash-test dummy? I realize this barely scratches the surface of this issue, so I’d like to know what you would add to the fundamentals listed above.

______________________

Sadly, while writing this article I discovered my favorite Ferris wheel is no longer there. Apparently there was a dispute between the owner and the city, and it ended up being dismantled a few years back. Too bad.

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[Note from the Proprietor: Since it’s Friday, and I’m out of town anyway, I thought you might enjoy this little story…]

A local business was looking for office help. They put a sign in the window, stating the following: “HELP WANTED. Must be able to type, must be good with a computer and must be bilingual. We are an Equal Opportunity Employer.”

A short time afterwards, a dog trotted up to the window, saw the sign and went inside. He looked at the receptionist and wagged his tail, then walked over to the sign, looked at it and whined.

Getting the idea, the receptionist got the office manager. The office manager looked at the dog and was surprised, to say the least. However, the dog looked determined, so he led him into the office. Inside, the dog jumped up on the chair and stared at the manager.

The manager said “I can’t hire you. The sign says you have to be able to type.” The dog jumped down, went to the typewriter and proceeded to type out a perfect letter. He took out the page and trotted over to the manager and gave it to him, then jumped back on the chair.

The manager was stunned, but then told the dog “the sign says you have to be good with a computer”. The dog jumped down again and went to the computer. The dog proceeded to demonstrate his expertise with various programs and produced a sample spreadsheet and database and presented them to the manager.

By this time the manager was totally dumbfounded! He looked at the dog and said “I realize that you are a very intelligent dog and have some interesting abilities. However, I still can’t give you the job.”

The dog jumped down and went to a copy of the sign and put his paw on the sentences that told about being an Equal Opportunity Employer. The manager said “Yes, but the sign also says that you have to be bilingual.”

The dog looked at the manager calmly and said, “Meow!”

(From Think.com)

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You know I really appreciate the work you do. I mean, what with all that flying around, keeping tabs on the emotional states of, oh, billions of people around the world, and those arrows – well, I just don’t know how you do it.

I remember a time, though, when I was beginning to wonder about you. I mean, I’d been hit by one or two of your arrows before, and each time it happened, I thought it was THE time. See, I believed in you, and what you could do. But it never seemed to take, if you know what I mean.

Each time, things just didn’t seem to pan out. Oh, there were lots of reasons, really. Sometimes it was me; sometimes it was her. Ah, well; as I like to say around here: c’est la vie – that’s life in the Middle Zone. In any case, I suppose the bottom line is, it just wasn’t meant to be. Or maybe it was like, you know, practice.

As I said, though, I have to admit that I was really beginning to wonder about you. Was there really such a thing as True Love? I mean, other than in the movies, or in books? If it really existed, then how in the world would I ever find it? Even more important, how would I recognize it?

And you know that thing we laughingly call Love At First Sight? Well, it seemed ludicrous that such a thing could be real, you know? I mean, c’mon – something as complicated as love, happening that quickly? Nope; no way!

But then one day… well, one day I met her.

It was a most amazing and profound moment; to me, it was only yesterday. We were in a room, perhaps twenty people or so. She stood up and said a few words. I turned to look at her – and for an eternal moment it was as if time stood still and the universe came to a complete stop.

Alas, I’m sorry to say I don’t remember what she was wearing (although she probably does!), or what I was wearing (ditto), or any of those little details she’s so good at.

No, what I remember is the absolute perfection of her face, her smile – and well, for want of a better term, her spirit. At that moment, nothing else mattered. It was as if the center of this suddenly motionless universe was right there in the room with me… and even more amazingly, it was close enough to touch!

Needless to say, never having experienced Love At First Sight, I didn’t recognize it for what it was. After all, at the time, I wasn’t even really looking, if you know what I mean. To this day I can’t even describe exactly how I knew; but somehow, I just knew. This was It. This – ah, this was the Real Thing.

Oh, I know she acted all aloof and everything. She even tried introducing me to every other girl she knew, just to get me off the track, but I wasn’t fooled. As if I could be deterred. I knew; and deep down inside where the heart really lives, I knew that she knew, too.

What’s really weird is it seemed like everybody else knew, too. Our friends, acquaintances – heck, the very first time I met him (and without anyone saying a word) even her father knew! But I guess you can’t hide something like that from a loving, caring father like hers; he could probably have seen it coming a mile off…

Eventually, though, she admitted the truth to herself and to me. And so we married.

Well, it’s been over twenty-five years since we stepped up in front of our friends and our families and said those words (“I do!”). A lot of time has passed; a lot of memories created. What an amazing experience it’s been, being married to the Love of My Life!

Sure, we’ve had our ups and downs – growing old together just wouldn’t be as interesting without the joys and the trials that go along with it, you know? It’s kinda like ol’ Dino used to sing, When love hits your eye like a big-a pizza pie – well Bubba, I’m here to tell ya: that’s amore! To be honest, I wouldn’t want to change a thing.

So anyway, Cupid, I just wanted to tell you how much I appreciate your work, and everything you’re doing to help make the world a better place. I’ll tell ya; life just wouldn’t be the same without you!

Keep up the good work!

(photos: Love letters straight from your heart, by cattycamehome, and Heart shaped bokeh, by yumi)

___________________________

[Note from the proprietor: In addition to being a soliloquy to Mrs. MZM in honor of Valentine’s Day this year, this also happens to be an entry in a group writing project called “Dear Cupid”, being hosted over at Between The Lines. Go check it out!]

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Since tomorrow is Valentine’s Day (sound of agonized screaming from all those guys out there who, er, forgot), I thought a little story might help get you in the mood.

During the first year of our marriage, Mrs. MZM and I attended a Newlyweds class during the Sunday morning Bible study hour at our church. In keeping with tradition, when Valentine’s Day rolled around, they organized a banquet for our rather large group (it was a very large church).

This particular year it promised to be quite a shindig. We had a great meal lined up, live entertainment, and beautiful decorations, including about a million red, pink and white balloons (and I should know; I helped inflate them!)

As preparation for the banquet, though, everybody was asked to submit an illustration of the “most romantic thing” our mates did for us while on our honeymoons. The idea was to read the entries at our banquet and then vote on the best one. The winner would be rewarded with a romantic weekend getaway at a local posh hotel.

Well, the banquet was a smashing success. The food was wonderful, the desserts suitably decadent. The fabulous decorations (Mrs. MZM helped with that) and lively entertainment really made the evening a fun time for all.

But finally it was time to hear what shining examples of romanticism our class members had contributed. (To be honest, I was really looking forward to picking up a few tips – something that might be useful in future years.)

Oh, there were all the usual things – flowers, carriage rides through the park, romantic dinners, moonlight walks on the beach, etc. But there was one that really stood out; a contribution from one of the wives. I’m tellin’ ya; it was a real doozy – and unanimously chosen as the winner.

Want to know what she considered to be the most romantic thing her husband did during their honeymoon?

When she had to “go”, he sat on the toilet seat and warmed it up for her!

Well, when that one was read, there were a few seconds of absolute dead silence (during which time you could have heard an ant walking). Then every jaw in the place dropped straight to the floor (I wouldn’t have been surprised if we had registered a 5.5 on the Richter scale!) We got to our feet en masse and began to applaud the somewhat embarrassed hero of the day. Talk about a show-stopper!

Well, after 25 years of marriage to the most Wonderful Woman in the World, a lot of water has flowed under the bridge. And yes, I’ve been asked a time or two for relationship advice; something I’m more than happy to share. (Admittedly, I’m nowhere near perfect *sigh*. To quote one fellow: Lemme tell you everything I know about women: Nothin’!)

But somewhere along the way I almost always relate this story because I’ve never heard a better example of out-of-the-box thinking when it comes to romance. After all these years, I’ve never heard of anything that can top it.

About the only thing I can add is: Gentlemen, go thou and do likewise.

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Since Valentine’s Day happens this week… I’ve scheduled a couple of V-Day posts for Wednesday and Thursday. Just a little something special for you (and Mrs. MZM). Stay tuned!

(Image from XKCD)

You know, it would just be absolutely finer than a frogs hair if you would subscribe to my RSS feed!

There’s a reason you’re looking at Charlton Heston’s Moses. It’s, er, like this…

I must admit, there are a few things I do that drive Mrs. MZM crazy. Heck, let’s be honest here; there’s lots of things I do that drive her crazy. Really crazy. (Shocking, I know. But sadly… so true.)

For instance…

The other day, we were going home on the freeway during the afternoon’s rush-hour traffic. We decided on the spur of the moment to take an earlier exit and stop by the local home improvement store. (Something about a honeydew… melon, or something. Or was it a list? I don’t remember.)

Anyway, I have to admit, the exit off the freeway and subsequent entrance to the store’s parking lot are a bit close together. But normally it’s not a problem to slow down quickly, cut across three lanes of feeder road, and zip into the drive. However, during evening rush-hours the feeder can be almost as full of traffic as the freeway.

Well, you may remember a few weeks ago I mentioned how Mrs. MZM gets nervous in traffic, right? OK, here’s what happened, I swear.

As I tooled down the exit ramp, I looked over my right shoulder to check the oncoming feeder traffic, scanning for an opening. As I exited the ramp I could see a big clump of cars just ahead of me, another clump back behind me – and absolutely not one car in my way as I moved across three lanes and zipped right into the parking lot, as easy as you please!

Mrs. MZM looked over at me in disbelief. “That’s so irritating!” she sighed, shaking her head. “You know it only happens for you. It’s like Moses parting the Red Sea, or something!” (Hence Mr. Heston’s photo. Get it? The sea parted? The traffic parted? Oh, never mind.)

The really odd thing is… she’s right. It does happen that way a lot. Weird.

OK, here’s another one for you; this one from ‘way back.

A building I used to work in had all four of its elevators grouped together in one area. Every day as I left work, I’d step into the elevator lobby, press the down button, and play the “which one will it be?” game. I promise I’m not making this up: for a period of more than two months I picked the correct one every single day. In fact, it got so spooky I purposely quit guessing. Very weird.

Anyhoo –

This traffic thing got me to thinkin’ (which is probably that strange noise you hear), and I’m kinda curious now.

How often do you experience moments when, through (and this is critical) absolutely no influence of your own, things just fall right into place – as if you’d planned it that way all along? I’ll probably write a bit more about this sometime soon, but in the meantime, I invite you to contribute to the discussion…

Has it ever happened to you? What does/did it mean to you? Care to share it?

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