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Yeah, I know what you’re probably thinking. “Who do you think I am, anyway? I didn’t just fall off the melon truck, you know. Just how can ANY bozo run over himself?”

While I leave you to ponder that one, I thought we might stop and consider something else for a minute. To do that, you’ll first have to answer this question: what do all these photos have in common?

Uh, you in the back with your hand up – hey, very good, that’s right! Planes, trains, automobiles (not to mention the absolutely hilarious movie by the same name) – it all spells Travel (sound of fanfare followed by audience applause).

With that I’d like to introduce you to the topic for this month’s group writing project:

What I Learned From… Travel

All-righty, folks! Grab your favorite writing device and put on yer thinkin’ caps, ‘cause the fun begins on Monday, July 2!

p.s. If you’re new to MZM and wonder what the heck I’m talking about, check out the great entries from the last two projects.

What I Learned from… the World of Work
What I Learned from…

Oh, and by the way, that guy I mentioned? You know, the man who ran over himself? Yeah well, here’s the thing. He needed something from the store, but was very busy, see. So he tried to get someone else to go to the store instead. Alas, nobody could.

So, he ran over himself. (rimshot)

See ya! (quickly ducking to avoid virtual tomatoes)

You know, it would just be absolutely finer than a frogs hair if you would subscribe to my RSS feed!

Once again the sun sets on yet another exciting month here at the Zone. Thrills, chills, spills – and that’s just what happened at MY desk! Just imagine what else has been going on out there…

That’s right, ladies and gentlemen – the time has come for another exciting edition of… OOB!
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Dept. of Wildlife Management

Surely you’ve heard (yes, I know – don’t call you Shirley!) some ring tones that just drive you up the wall, right? Whether it’s a short clip from whatever song happens to be popular to assorted sound effects, it is absolutely ridiculous the things you hear popping up in elevators, shopping malls and church sermons. Especially those irritating animal sounds; dogs barking, cats meowing, eagles screeching … ugh! I don’t know about you, but it’s enough to make me want to get out the BIG hammer.

Well, great news! Those goofy, idiotic, and downright stupid-sounding ring tones might just have some useful applications in the real world after all! In Ahmedabad, India, they’re using cell phones programmed with the sound of goats bleating and cows mooing to lure, uh, leopards into traps! All they have to do is strap a cell phone inside a cage, play the sounds, and pretty soon a leopard walks in, looking for an easy meal. Not bad!

In fact, lots of animals respond to certain sounds. Who hasn’t tried to call a cat by opening a tin of cat food, or a dog by shaking a bag of dog food? Luckily people are wired differently, don’t you think? Uh, sorry I gotta go. I can hear a tub of Blue Bell Homemade Vanilla Ice Cream being opened in the kitchen…

Miscellaneous Dept.

The other day I accidentally stumbled upon this intriguing website called One Word. The concept is pretty simple. When you push the button, you get one (1) randomly-selected word and sixty (60) seconds to write something – anything – you care to write; there’s a handy form to put the words in. So what’s the point, you ask? Hey, we don’t really need no stinkin’ point, do we?

Okay, okay; if you’re one of those people who must know more, you can read the help page.

To be honest, I’m not sure just what the purpose of this site is. You can, however, check out what others have written, which makes an interesting read. One thing it does illustrate is the vast number of different directions you can go from a single starting point. Pretty cool, if you ask me. Go ahead, try it at least once.

Dept. of Unusually Normal Months

Oddly enough, there didn’t seem to be as many strange things going on this month (which is pretty strange in itself!) so I’ll just close here. (But it does make me wonder: was I just not as observant this month? Hmmm…)

But don’t worry, folks, just tune in next month for the next exciting edition of OOB!

(Note: Interested in previous editions of OOB? Just click on the OOB category over there on the left!)

You know, it would just be absolutely finer than a frogs hair if you would subscribe to my RSS feed!

Doggone! Aarrgh! Spit! P’tooi! (And what the heck: let’s throw in a Rats! while we’re at it.)

(Insert deep breath here.) OK, I’m better now. Have you ever had one of those days?

I’m an engineering project manager by trade (he said), so managing the zillions of details typically required during the design and construction of a project is pretty much par for the course. You’d think I’d be used to it by now, but there are times when, no matter what, things just seem to go wrong.

Let’s just take ONE example.

On this particular project, one of the tasks is to add a fairly large platform to the top of a pair of existing side-by-side horizontal tanks. Now, our normal procedure would be to find drawings of existing equipment so we know what we’re dealing with, particularly with regards to dimensions, materials of construction, etc.

Naturally, there were no such drawings available for these two tanks. So we did the next best thing – gather information directly from the field. Translation: a field hand goes out and measures the things with a tape (it’s not the most accurate technique – have you ever tried to measure something HUGE with a small ruler? Take it from me, it ain’t easy!)

Luckily, all equipment is required to have a name plate with critical information on it like pressure, temperature, wall thickness, etc. Of course in this case (and you knew this was coming, right?) there was nothing about the material of construction used. So we did the next best thing (actually, by now we’re doing the next, next best thing).

Well, sometimes, ya just gotta guess, you know? In engineering parlance, we did a S.W.A.G., which means scientific wild guess (I’m deliberately leaving out the A-word because this is a G-Rated blog).

Alas, and darn. We guessed wrong. Ah, well…

So what do you do when things just flat go wrong? Are you prone to follow the sage advice commonly known as (although I have no idea why) the Mongolian General Prudential Rule: “When in danger or in doubt, run in circles, scream and shout”?

Um… perhaps there’s another way to cope.

So, if you find yourself in a pickle because too many things are going wrong and you’re having trouble getting a handle on things, well, here’s a few basic tips to get you started toward a solution. I call it the 7-Up Solution. (Note: feel free to add more of your own tips in the comments.)

1. Own up – First of all, when you’re dealing with clients who are paying you, like, real money, the first thing you absolutely must do is admit there’s a problem! (Sounds like the first step to an AAA meeting, doesn’t it?) Everybody faces challenges every day – some are self-inflicted, but some aren’t, but you gotta get that sucker into the open before any solution can even begin!
2. Open up – (It’s something like “don’t try this alone” .) Break out of the “I’ve got to solve this myself” mindset. The truth is, when a big challenge lands with a thud on your doorstep (sound of resounding thud), the more brains focused on the problem the better. (You might want to read yesterday’s post for a few quick thoughts on synergy and how different viewpoints can help.)
3. Look up – Now, it’s true that as a Christian, I can always ask God for help when things get overwhelming. But what I mean here is that chances are, if you have a boss, mentor, or some such higher-up, they may have possibly been in this exact situation before. It sounds simple, I know, but in the midst of the storm, we sometimes forget to ask them!
4. Tally up – See what resources you have available to solve the problem. By resources, I mean people, but there are also other information sources to tap as well, such as previous projects with similar situations.
5. Divvy up – This works great when you have a team working with you: divide the challenge into sections that can be conquered separately. The “divide and conquer” method works well when there are several pieces to the problem.
6. Giddyap – (Sorry, couldn’t resist that one. Hey, I am a Texan from Texas.) Once you’ve uncovered a few solutions, pick the best and move on! Don’t waste a lot of time feeling sorry for yourself, or looking for someone to blame. Save that for the “lessons learned” session. Time’s a wastin’ friends – get on with it!
7. 7-up – Now that you’ve figured out what to do, and you’re workin’ the solution – give yourself a break, have a seat, and take a load off; heck, fire up the computer and read Middle Zone Musings! Reward yourself with something quick (I personally like diet 7-Up; hence the name of this step). ‘Way to go, pardner, you done good!

There you have it, folks, the 7-Up Solution to problem-solving! Now it’s time for steps 7b-d: Feet up, pull hat over face, and commence the snores!

Cheers!

You know, it would just be absolutely finer than a frogs hair if you would subscribe to my RSS feed!

Look out, it’s coming (sound of terrified scream)!

That’s right, folks, the next What I Learned From… group writing project is just around the corner! Better get your pencils ready, ’cause it starts on Monday (sound of crowd cheering)!

(What the heck am I talking about? Well, check out the results from our two previous projects!)

You know, it would just be absolutely finer than a frogs hair if you would subscribe to my RSS feed!

Last weekend I had breakfast with a couple of good friends of mine.  (Note: this is NOT a photo of us. But if it were, I’d be the tall one on the left.)

I love it when the three of us get together because you just never know exactly where the conversation will end up. What’s entertaining about these get-togethers is that while we all come from different backgrounds (engineering, marketing & graphic design), we have a way of visualizing things that each of us alone just can’t seem to match. It’s a lot of fun, and a great example of synergy, lemme tell ya!

Anyway, one friend related his recent trip across the pond to merry old England, where he had a somewhat, er, convoluted driving experience. You know what I mean, don’t you? There’s a particular spot you want to get to, but the directions are of necessity lengthy and complex. (Come to think of it, it’s very much like the experience you have when you’re in a hospital visiting a patient – or heaven forbid, you are one. Now stay with me on this one; there’s a reason why I used this example.)

For instance, in my friend’s case the hotel concierge was able to provide a very nice set of detailed driving directions. All very clear and easy to follow, no doubt; probably something along the lines of, “Take the A-40 to the Thames River East exit (I’m making this up – I have no idea what the actual directions would be) and turn left; follow this road to… yada, yada, yada.”

However, those of you in the audience who’ve “been there” (no, not England, silly – I mean you’ve been faced with similar, um, driving challenges) will not be surprised to find that this little excursion didn’t go quite as planned. (Although there were circumstances beyond his control involved.)

The distance wasn’t that far – only about 16 miles or so – and would have taken only a few minutes (except during rush hour, of course!) on most highways here in the States. I say “would have” because in actuality the trip (including various wrong turns, backtracks, a car breakdown and the subsequent repair time) took over 4-1/2 hours!

He summarized the experience quite nicely when he said, “In my entire life I’ve never been more lost!” (The story has a happy ending however; it turned out the wrecker driver grew up not three kilometers from the very spot he was looking for and led him right to it.)

It was ironic, then (which, as you know, means made entirely made of iron), that our other friend sitting at the table happens to work in the field of “wayfinding” – something I would loosely define as the means of discovering how to get from point A to point B, and covers informational, directional and other types of facility signage. (For instance, when a person goes to a hospital and has to visit a specific location within the – usually very large and confusing – complex, how do they find their way around? That’s the kind of customer challenge wayfinding can help solve.)

I found it quite ironic (see above) that the challenge my friend had in England was very similar to the challenges my other friend helps solve every day. And there they were, sitting at the same table!

It’s a great example of how different viewpoints, when applied to a challenge, can sometimes provide solutions that no one viewpoint would have discovered on its own. Not that we came up with a solution, mind you – but we could. (Sponsors, anyone?)

Now, admittedly when the three of us get together, we partake in more than our share of silliness. But the amazing thing is, by the time we leave, usually each of us has gained some new insight into a challenge we face in our own worlds. It never fails.

So (and you knew this was coming, right?) my advice to you is this: find a way to introduce new and different viewpoints into your life. For example, in your feed reader, make sure there are feeds from people who are completely different from you. And make an acquaintance (no, make several acquaintances) with someone outside your line of work – heck, outside your world!

You’ll be amazed at how powerful - and full of value - that simple practice can be!

You know, it would just be absolutely finer than a frogs hair if you would subscribe to my RSS feed!

Welcome, my friends, to another edition of Great Quotes, a monthly compendium of, well, great quotes collected from all over. They caught my eye and tickled my fancy, and I think you’ll agree they may even impart a bit of wisdom – along with a bit of fun.

So if you find yourself searching for some encouragement, inspiration or perhaps even just a chuckle or two, you’ve come to the right place! Check these out:

• We are what we pretend to be, so we must be careful what we pretend to be. – Kurt Vonnegut
• Few things are harder to put up with than the annoyance of a good example. – Mark Twain
• An author is a fool who, not satisfied with boring those he lives with, insists on boring future generations. – Charles de Montesquieu
• A wise man gets more from his enemies than a fool from his friends. – Baltasar Gracian
• Everyone is as God made him, and oftentimes a great deal worse. – Miguel de Cervantes



• Nobody in the game of football should be called a genius. A genius is somebody like Norman Einstein. – Joe Theismann
• Part of the inhumanity of the computer is that, once it is completely programmed and working smoothly, it is completely honest. – Isaac Asimov
• You cannot depend on your eyes when your imagination is out of focus. – Mark Twain
• It is a dangerous business, going out your front door. – J. R. R. Tolkien
• The opposite of talking isn’t listening. The opposite of talking is waiting. – Fran Lebowitz



• Those are my principles, and if you don’t like them… well, I have others. – Groucho Marx
• It is unbecoming for young men to utter maxims. – Aristotle
• If all else fails, immortality can always be assured through spectacular error. – John Kenneth Galbraith
• Love is the delightful interval between meeting a beautiful girl and discovering she looks like a haddock. – John Barrymore
• Who is rich? He that is content. Who is that? Nobody. – Benjamin Franklin



• I got kicked out of ballet class because of a pulled groin muscle. It wasn’t mine. – Rita Rudner
• Life can only be understood backwards, but must be lived forwards. – Sören Kierkegaard
• If all the girls who attend the Yale prom were laid end to end, I wouldn’t be a bit surprised. – Dorothy Parker
• I despise the pleasure of pleasing people I despise. – Lady Mary Wortley Montagu
• I myself am made entirely of flaws, stitched together with good intentions. – Augusten Burroughs



• Beauty is in the eye of the beholder and it may be necessary from time to time to give a stupid or misinformed beholder a black eye. – Miss Piggy
• It is a paradoxical but profoundly true and important principle of life that the most likely way to reach a goal is to be aiming not at the goal itself but at some more ambitious goal beyond it. – Arnold Toynbee
• The big thieves hang the little ones. – Czech proverb
• You can safely assume that you’ve created God in your own image when it turns out that God hates all the same people you do. – Anne Lamott

And, to round out this month’s edition, I give you the definitive guide on “the way things should be”, from Gore Vidal:

You know, it would just be absolutely finer than a frogs hair if you would subscribe to my RSS feed!

Yep, amazingly enough, today marks the blogaversary bloggyversary first-year anniversary of the initial post here at Middle Zone Musing. Sortof. Well, actually, the REAL first post was on June 21, but it was so ridiculous I deleted it. (It went something like, “Hello out there. This is my first post,” or some dreck like that.) Luckily (or unfortunately, depending), I decided to try again, and the rest, as they say, is history.

Anyway, I just wanted to let you folks know how much I appreciate your readership, comments, and feedback over the last year. It�s been a truly wonderful experience getting to know you. I�ve met, both online and in person (at SOBCon, for instance), many whom I now call “friend”.

Besides the obligatory birthday cake photo, I suppose I could regale you with tales of how much I�ve grown personally from blogging, or perhaps leave you with a list or two, such as 5 Things (why is it always 5 things, anyway?) I�ve Learned, or maybe 89 Things You Didn�t Know About Me � but the truth is, if you�ve spent any time at all reading the posts here at the Zone, you probably know quite a bit about me already.

And that (at least�to me) is one of the most profound aspects�of blogging: the ability to get to know people in an intimate way, simply by reading their words. It’s sortof like… well, building a bridge, to er, coin a metaphor. It’s a process, not a sudden revelation.

It�s amazing what our writings reveal about ourselves, don�t you think? Oh, sure, there�s always the chance the personality that emerges could be an artificial one, maintained for whatever reason. But I truly believe that, given time, the real person always shows through. Besides, it�s so much easier to just be ourselves.

Because of you folks, I�ve had the opportunity to explore new worlds, seeking new civilizations, going where no man has � oops, wrong speech! On second thought, I really have had the opportunity to explore places and concepts. It�s been a blast, to say the least!

Finally, I want to thank all you folks for doing the same thing! Both individually, and as a group, you�ve provided an incredibly rich selection of topics, conversations, and outright encouragement, not just for little ol’ me, but for each other as well. Way to go!

I think it�s safe to say that I�m truly a different person now because of this blog, and yours. Thanks, from the bottom of my heart! And as always here at the Zone, a big tip o� the hat to ya!

You know, it would just be absolutely finer than a frogs hair if you would subscribe to my RSS feed!