Guest Post – The Obstacles In Your Path by Joanna Young
Continuing our guest post extravaganza this week, today I present one of my favorite people in the whole world, Joanna Young of Confident Writing. To be honest, I can’t remember how long Joanna and I have been friends (although she still needs to learn how to eat pizza correctly). Somehow, though, we just hit it off right away, and I highly recommend Confident Writing for your daily “must read” list.
Joanna is a writing coach who is all about, not just writing, but writing with voice, with style, and most of all, with confidence. She also co-hosts a series of writing retreats on the beautiful Italian island of Sardinia with Emma Bird. If you’re serious about writing, it’s definitely worth spending your vacation on, I’ll tell ya.
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The Obstacles In Your Path
by Joanna Young
I love to walk. Above all else, I love to walk in the west highlands. Not up mountains (not yet anyway) but around headlands, across moorland, through ancient woods, along the side of a loch. Most times I walk by myself. I enjoy my own company and love the peace, space and opportunity to lose myself in my own thoughts. I don’t feel nervous, don’t take risks, and enjoy the solitude.
Except.
Except when something stands in my way. Something that will stop me in my tracks and make me wish, wish, wish that there was someone else with me who could tell me what to do.
In Mexico it was a fierce, barking dog who stood in my way. In the west highlands it’s not dogs, but cattle. Sometimes up close, and outrageously large. Sometimes a distance off, but with heads lifted up, watching me. (Why do they all turn and stare like that?) Sometimes it’s highland cows which while photogenic are scary when in the same field.
And sometimes it’s the ominous site of a bull.
I had one of those moments when I was on holiday a few weeks ago. It was a damp, misty day but I was out on a woodland, glen and lochside walk. For the first few miles I was happy as could be: looking at wild flowers, taking photos, enjoying the view.
Five miles into the seven mile walk and I was starting to flag a bit. The mist was coming down. My mobile phone signal had long since disappeared. I hadn’t seen another person for at least an hour. But at least it was only two miles to go.
That’s when I saw the cattle. Just off to the side of my path, a bull standing clearly amongst them. My heart sank. What to do?
Risk Assessment
My internal dialogue went something like this:
“I don’t want to walk past them. I’m miles from anywhere, no signal, no one knows I’m here”
“They’re probably harmless though. The bull’s probably happy enough with all those cows. The farmer wouldn’t leave a dangerous animal by a right of way.”
“It’s not exactly a bustling thoroughfare though is it?”
“I know, but I’m tired. It’s five miles back. It’d be almost dark by the time I’m done. I’ll walk past and pretend not to be scared”
So I walk, fast, though not so fast as to draw attention to myself. Heart beats faster.
“Hrmmmph” blows the bull through his nostrils.
Is he talking to me? I daren’t look up. Looking down I notice my bright red rain jacket. I surreptitiously pull it off – does this make it more or less likely I’ll be noticed? I stuff it into my bag. Is that waving a red rag in bull speak?
I walk faster. How quickly can I get through that gate before he decides to come after me? Can he barge through the gate? How will I get to safety?
But of course, I do. The bull puts his head back down and I scuttle past.
As I scuttle, I’m thinking: why do I do this, why did I think this was a good idea, why don’t I have a whistle, why am I walking alone, why would I ever want to walk off the beaten track again.
Never again.
Until the next time I’m tempted by a trail, that is.
Because fear fades with time and distance, just as it makes obstacles (especially of the hairy, horned variety), larger, scarier and more aggressive when we’re living in the fear, right up along side those obstacles, or walking bravely past them.
When I look back at my risk assessment I know it wasn’t rational. I was more afraid than I probably needed to be. But I let other factors like tired legs and pig-headedness over-ride some of my natural caution.
I guess that’s why a second pair of eyes is what I wish for when obstacles – or highland cattle – stand in my way. To let me know if I’m being unduly reckless, or too much of a fearty*.
The parallels with other aspects of our lives aren’t hard to find. Things we’re scared of loom large, off-putting, telling us to go back – when perhaps we should keep moving forward.
But maybe sometimes we need a second perspective to say: look, that thing really has got horns, there’s no shame in going another way.
How about you? How do you take stock of the obstacles you find in your path? Do you try and get out of their way – or walk bravely past?
Joanna Young is a writing coach and proud author of a book of Short Walks on Skye. You can read more of her work at Confident Writing: a blog packed full of writing tips and virtual coaching to help you write with confidence. If you’d like to see some of the photos from her walks in the west highlands you can follow her on Flickr.The photo Are You Looking at Me? isn’t hers: do you think she was going to stop and take photos?
It was taken by the wonderful (and obviously braver than Joanna) Amy Palko from Less Ordinary.
*Scottish term for being a scaredy cat
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Guest Post At The Middle Zone…
I’m guest writing at the Middle Zone today. As befits the Zone, it’s in the form of a story. Here’s a short extract from ‘The Obstacles In Your Path’:I walk, fast, though not so fast as to draw attention to…
Hi Joanna! It’s the old “fight or flight” dilemma. You did a great job of describing how it feels. I think each of us has a different dividing line between fearty and reckless. I mean, what I think of as bold, you might think of as prudent. As a child, were you ever drawn into situations you thought were dangerous because your friends were more fearless than you? It happened to me a few times – not a comfortable feeling!
Brad Shorrs last blog post..5 Simple Storytelling Techiques
Brad, I think I was brought up to be far too cautious, which means most things seemed – or still seem – unnecessarily scary to me. Being brought up in the city also means that ‘wild’ animals (like cows) were totally alien and therefore terrifying.
Your words remind me of some of your own great stories including the one that broke all our hearts about that poor robin!
Joanna
Joanna Youngs last blog post..Guest Post At The Middle Zone
Joanna,
I was charging up the metal steps inside an antique stone belltower with a photo companion once, enthusiasm and camera in hand. We were thoroughly convinced WE would have the shots no one else in our group would have. We’d talked the keeper into letting us in hadn’t we? It was not usually permitted. Dean was perfect for this kind of subtrafuge, his dad was a Music Legend, he was used to extraordinary, and me, well, I am the person most likely to have a back stage pass. Do not get between me and a view I really, really want…however it was about 2/3 of the way up these steps , that my shaking knees reminded me of my fear of heights. Not being up in the air or anything, it is specific to the kinds of stairs or the balcony, elevator, precipice I am on. Real dizziness ensues, and the strange desire to just jump and see if I CAN fly. I know sick, but here I m in the belltower and Dean, dam his butt, is scurrying up faster than a squirrel up a tree. Stop or no stop? Well, I would love to say I went all the way up….but I just climbed part way out onto a roof, until my knees quit shaking. Then muscled up one more flight. He got a little higher than me, but my shots were pretty spectacular too. And no, I cannot actually fly. But I try not to let that get in my way.
Brad and Joanna,
I was also brought up to be far too cautious – especially regarding technical or practical things. I am not afraid to deal with the computer (although it took some time to reach that attitude), but I am definitely afraid to step up a ladder and change – bulbs. I am not very good at climbing up ladders – have difficulties with my sense of balance. Up to the last year my husband would change bulbs. Well, I am alone now, nobody will change them for me. In my flat, bulbs tend to go dead during wintertime (I don’t know why, but during November or December or January, they went dead regularly). It’s dark outside. It is dark in the flat. I’ve got to do something. I fetch the ladder. I tell myself “You can do it”. I climb up the ladder. I reach the dead bulb. I get it off. I get down slowly, step by step. I fetch the new one. Up I go again, hoping that I will get it in without problem. I am afraid of falling off the ladder. I get the new bulb in. I step down and try – light goes on! Deep sigh – I finally made it!
I hope I don’t sound too strange – I am definitely not going round the bench. But that’s my kind of fear…
Ulla
Ulla Hennigs last blog post..A Tree with Character
Joanna, what an awesome story. I had to stop laughing before I could type my comment. “I stuff it into my bag. Is that waving a red rag in bull speak?”- I was cautiously moving along the trail with you, feeling what you were feeling and then burst into laughter at that line!
I would have forged on as well. I tend to keep going and even as I am charging through obstacles I question my sanity. This story is a keeper!
Karen Swims last blog post..The Ebb and Flow of Life
Goodness Janice, I’m glad you didn’t try and fly! I think we have a different set of reactions to fear when we’re already a long way in – we’ve invested that time, the effort, the climb, then there’s the desire to achieve the goal, the not wanting to back down… or lose face! It seems to warp our normal perspective – for good or ill… I’m glad you got your shots anyway!
Ulla, it doesn’t sound strange at all. I’m not too good with heights either. I’m wondering if there are any other fears that are going on alongside the positive self talk – I know I’d also be imagining myself falling off, wondering how I’d crawl to the phone for help… or expecting the bulb to shatter and cut my hand, or the electrics to go “bang!!!” when I put the bulb in. A vivid imagination can definitely exaggerate our fears. I hope you get some satisfaction from knowing you can do these things on your own though.
Karen, you are inspirational at keeping on going
I’m laughing at this “even a I am charging through obstacles I question my sanity”. Isn’t it odd how we can detach from the situation, shaking our heads sadly, at the same time as being right in thick of things?
Joanna
Joanna Youngs last blog post..Guest Post At The Middle Zone
Ulla, Fear of ladders? I can relate. Two rungs up and I break into a cold sweat. Which is weird, because I lived in Colorado for a time and love driving through mountain passes at high speed. Doesn’t bother me a bit. I guess our individual combination of fears are all rather unique. Joanna, for some reason I figured you for a country lass. You seem so at home outdoors!
Brad Shorrs last blog post..Guest Post on Drew’s Marketing Minute
Joanna,
Great post! I tend to be a worrier, and mostly I can tell when I’m overreacting. My husband is a great second pair of eyes. I tell him my irrational fears and we have a good laugh. Of course, I also worry about what I will do if any happens to him…..
Jean Browman–Transforming Stresss last blog post..Commitment and Practice
Oops…”any” should have been “anything”. It’s too late at night!
Jean Browman–Transforming Stresss last blog post..Commitment and Practice
Jean, I’m glad you enjoyed the post. It’s good to have someone you trust enough to share those wild but extremely vivid irrational fears with – sometimes even the act of saying them out loud can be enough to shrink them back down to a proper size. If you ever find a cure for conjuring up the worries in the first place please do let me know!
Brad, I am very much at home outdoors but have always (up till now) lived in a very urban environment. I’m hoping that I’ll enjoy living in the countryside as much as I do visiting – fingers crossed!
Joanna Youngs last blog post..Guest Post At The Middle Zone
Joanna, thanks so much for contributing to the community here at the Middle Zone while I was away. Your friendship and help mean a lot to me. Great post, and better yet – great discussion!
Thanks to everyone for making Joanna welcome!
Robert, it was my pleasure. We had some great conversations when you were away – though they weren’t as much fun as when you’re here!
Joanna
Wonderful post, Joanna!
How true it is that many of our obstacles inspire real fear in us. Sometimes we force ourselves to overcome that fear, as you did, and forge ahead, calling it courage — and indeed it is. (Of course, there will always be those who would call it rashness or foolhardiness. It’s all a matter of perspective — or perhaps of results.)
Other times, we think better of it, abandon our plans, and call it caution — or survival instinct. (Yet, some might prefer to call it cowardice — and others, the better part of wisdom.) Perhaps it can really be all these things at different times — or maybe even a little of each at the same time. Only we can really decide which name applies for us in a given situation — or at a given moment in time.
Some of us do tend to be more cautious and some more adventurous, by nature, though. So, I suppose it’s always good to stretch ourselves and try a bit more adventure if we tend to be naturally cautious, or try looking before we leap if we tend to be overly adventurous. We have so much to learn about ourselves — and obstacles make such wonderful teachers!
Thanks for sharing this thought-provoking experience!
Jeanne
Jeanne, “We have so much to learn about ourselves — and obstacles make such wonderful teachers!” Indeed. I think that helps to explain the rip-roaring success of What I Learned From, and the Middle Zone.
Thanks for your thoughtful contribution to the conversation here. It’s been fun hosting it.
Joanna
Joanna,
Thoroughly enjoyed your guest post — and all the others! And I think you’re right about the reason for the “rip-roaring success” of MZM and WILF!
Jeanne