In a men’s room – in a building that shall remain nameless – is a wall-mounted, um, device, wrapped in plastic with the sign “out of order” mounted on the wall above it.
Should I be insulted?
On the one hand, it seems as though the sign would have been enough. I mean, does the maintenance staff think we men can’t read? Or even worse, that we’d ignore their warning and use it anyway because we’re, you know, men – and by definition, gross and disgusting?
On the other hand, maybe that’s exactly what they thought. Perhaps somebody said to themselves, “You know, men will not be deterred by this sign. We must make doubly sure nobody, but nobody, uses this thing!” Or something.
But if the plastic was deemed necessary by the applicable powers-that-be – well then, why do we need the sign? One would think the plastic would be enough of a deterrent, don’cha think?
And what’s the meaning of “out of order”, anyway?
Does it mean, for instance, not working? That would be the most obvious inference. Busted. Kaput. Broken. Failed. In other words, it’s of no use to you, Bubba; go use a different one! So how hard is that to understand, I ask you?
Then again, maybe the phrase, “out of order” means something else – as in not in the right order. So maybe they’re trying to tell me to use, if possible, a different one first. Then I can use this one. Could that be it? Hmmm…
Then there’s the legal term. When you’re told by the judge (usually accompanied by an angry banging of the gavel) that you’re “out of order” – well, it usually means “you shouldn’t have oughtta said that, ya big cotton-pickin’ galoot!” But how would that apply here? I’m not sure.
Don’cha just wish folks would say what they mean? Then there wouldn’t be so much confusion in the world. Just imagine the ramifications! Tax forms you could understand, job applications with no mysterious questions, no more innuendo, euphemisms, or obfuscation! Oh, what a world that would be!
Is it just me, or am I simply, er, out of order?