I realize this may sound a bit like a sacrilegious admission coming from yours truly (or any blogger for that matter), but in my constant struggle to produce daily meaningful content for the Middle Zone, there are times when I just can’t seem to get around to the gist of my point, and often end up becoming incredibly long-winded, pedantic, and puerile.

Translation: Bubba, being concise ain’t easy!

The ancient Roman poet Horace (oh, that guy) once lamented, “I struggle to be brief, and become obscure.” Yeah, Horace, I know what you mean. A bumper sticker I used to have, oh, more than 25 years ago read “Eschew obfuscation” (no, that’s not a picture of my car – I just happened to find this photo on the internet). I thought it was the funniest thing I’d ever seen, but alas, no one else seemed to get it. I even had someone pull up beside me while on the freeway and ask what language it was!

That’s the problem isn’t it? In the attempt to be concise, all meaning can be lost. I imagine this to be a constant challenge for good newspaper or TV news headline writers. It’s not storytelling; it’s how to grab your interest in three to ten words.

But writing headlines has at least one advantage over writing stories – a headline’s intent is to make you want to read or listen to the rest of the story (sounds like a lead-in for Paul Harvey). So it only need contain enough words to serve as pointers to the content. For example, the headline, “Man bites dog; film at 11″ doesn’t give you any details but it does (presumably) pique your interest enough to get you to stick around for the explanation and find out it was just some politician eating a hot dog.

When we tell stories, on the other hand, we usually need words (well, duh!), and plenty of them. But storytelling isn’t about being concise; its more about being able to paint clear word-pictures. When was the last time you told a story, any story, in just a few sentences? Usually it takes paragraphs, pages, even whole chapters in order to provide context enough for the story to make sense and the hearer to get the meaning.

“Ok”, you ask, “so what?”

Well, what if you had to tell a story, but were severely limited by space restrictions? Do you think you could do it using very few words (specifically, using only six words)? This article from Wired Online illustrates what I mean:

“We’ll be brief: Hemingway once wrote a story in just six words (“For sale: baby shoes, never worn.”) and is said to have called it his best work. So we asked sci-fi, fantasy, and horror writers from the realms of books, TV, movies, and games to take a shot themselves.”

I’ve picked a few choice ones to demonstrate what I mean. (You can find the complete list of – ahem – shorts here.):

• “Failed SAT. Lost scholarship. Invented rocket.” – William Shatner
• “Gown removed carelessly. Head, less so.” – Joss Whedon
• “Automobile warranty expires. So does engine.” – Stan Lee
• “We kissed. She melted. Mop please!” – James Patrick Kelly
• “The baby’s blood type? Human, mostly.” – Orson Scott Card
• “I couldn’t believe she’d shoot me.” - Howard Chaykin
• “I win lottery. Sun goes nova.” – Stephen Meretzky

And my personal favorite:

• “In the beginning was the word” – Gregory Maguire (Although – the actual author of this line was John the Apostle, and it’s from, you know, the Bible.)

Let’s Be Brief

OK, hopefully by now you’ve probably heard about the upcoming writing contest. So here’s the deal:

I’m throwing down the gauntlet (sound of gauntlet being thrown down) to anyone who cares to take up the challenge. From Monday, January 15th thru Sunday, January 21st, all bloggers, lurkers, and other various and sundry types out there in the blogosphere will have the chance to demonstrate to the blogging community their ability to tell an entire meaningful story using only six, count ‘em, six words.

Sharpen up your pencils and start thinking about it now, friends, because it’s not as easy as it sounds. You have plenty of time to come up with one or more stories, with no restrictions on punctuation, theme, etc. – except of course to just use six words; no more, no less.

As a special bonus, I’ve lined up John Koetsier from bizhack to help me judge the entries and determine the best of the best.

Want to know more? Stay tuned for more details!

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